Hello! Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa! First, I must offer my apologies that I didn't have the time to review every single chapter of this novella, though I will tell you that I did read every one. I'll also give you a hint; I've reviewed this story before, and not anonymously. So I was not entirely new to the world of Lucy and Lysander. (Ooh, I just realized you've got some nice alliteration there!)
Anyway, let me start off by catching myself up here-- I love Lucy (pun intended), and I might be enjoying Heather even more. I think Lucy's fear is a hoot, and Professor Wallace's enthusiasm sweet but also funny in the context you've placed it here. You've got a solid plot, things are moving along nicely, and I can't wait to see what happens when real dragons get involved. I really, really hope Lucy overcomes her fears by the end of this. Or at least begins to.
For this chapter in particular, I had a nice little relatable moment at the the beginning, with Lucy doing Heather's hair. I LOVE people doing my hair, it's really relaxing, and so I make that known to my friends who are particularly talented with hair. Or even those who aren't; I don't care about the end result, I just enjoy the process. :P So anyway. I loved that bit.
I also appreciated you pointing out that there's not much to do in Hogsmeade other than buying candy. Recently I've considered writing stories set in Hogsmeade and realized that we don't really have too much detail about what goes on there, and JKR made it appear that the Three Broomsticks and Honeyduke's were nearly the only things that existed there. Sure, there's the Hog's Head and others, but for students it seems the real reason to go is just to get out of Hogwarts, not into a certain shop.
What I found really significant about this chapter was Lucy realizing she DID want to go see dragons in Romania. That was huge. Such an important point for the story, and I think you slipped it in there very nicely!! Honestly, when is a better time to make up your mind about something than when your parents disagree with it? :P But in all seriousness, it was a great moment. You gave it enough importance to stick out, but you didn't bang it over the readers' heads or anything. Fantastic!
And I totally called it with Molly, by the way. Only boys can make a girl go silent like that, especially when she loves talking about herself. :P Nice touch; made Molly seem more human.
So, on the whole, an excellent story. I'll be sure to come back as you continue to update. Things are going smoothly, I like your characters, and I like where it's going. Even if updates or slow or you get stuck, don't give up on it. Better yet, shoot me a PM and I'd be happy to talk about it. Have a happy, happy holiday, and I've enjoyed sampling your stories a great deal!Author's Response: Again, pun appreciated! ;) I am always glad when people say that they like her, because I do have quite a soft spot for her. Heather is also secretly one of my favorite characters, especially when I get to write her and Lucy together. They tend to write themselves, which makes it an enjoyable process. And as for when real dragons get loose... well, it'll be an adventure, to say the least! :P
We are similar in that respect! I absolutely love people playing with my hair as well -it was inspired a bit by my own best friend who is talented at doing hair (and who agrees to do my hair frequently because she is a kind soul).
I didn't really notice until I sat down to write about it, but we really don't have much detail about Hogsmeade. And as fun as buying candy is, I don't know if it's really something you could spend a whole day doing. I think the real appeal is being able to leave school.
Having parents disagree with something is a surprisingly effective way to make up your mind. :D Sometimes you don't know that you want to do something until you've been told you can't! And Lucy is slowly coming around. (And I'm relieved that it wasn't banged over the readers' heads!)
Oh, Molly. Boys are just trouble! :P I'm glad that she seemed more human; I didn't want her to turn into a caricature.
Thank you so much! It really does mean a lot to me. I don't think I could ever give up on this - it holds a special place in my heart. I might have to take you up on that offer :) Again, thank you so much for all of the reviews - they completely brightened my day (and the names! Ender's Game is my favorite story, as it appears you have discovered) so thank you! ♥ Report Review
Oh, Lucy, I've missed you so much! I'm a little sad that wasn't much Lysander (besides the occasional mention and even then, he is just so gosh-darned cute...really, you're turning me into a Lysander/Lucy shipper and there isn't even any romance!)
I wasn't kidding that I missed Lucy. She's such a refreshing character to read. Everything is awkward and she's a bit self-deprecating and she just makes me laugh. I do have to say, however, that I am extremely disappointed that Lucy doesn't like Butterbeer. Lucy. Doesn't she love food? How can there be anything she doesn't like?!
I loved Molly's little bits about how well Lucy's practical part would go, especially when she found out about the dragons. Poor Luce.
Aw, and Molly and Lucy's little sister comforting thing at the end. So sweet. I really did enjoy reading the meeting with the family, though. I think you've done a wonderful job with the dynamics of them, giving us little details through Lucy's inner monologue that reveals more about the characters than their own dialogue. Like the part where Molly gave her parents a short response instead of gushing about school and being Head Girl, that sort of thing.
Anyway, I'm really glad you've finally updated. It's good to see that Lucy didn't perish after telling her parents about going to Romania during Christmas (haha, I love that she used the excuse that Uncle Charlie was family so it wasn't like she was completely abandoning them for the holiday) and finally starting to see her passion for the dragons growing (especially with Lysander's influence) is really sweet. I hope going to Romania will give them the opportunity to bond even further (and for her to show off all her new-found dragon knowledge! I was really impressed when she spewed off all that info about the sanctuaries).
Haha, sorry this review is all over the place. This story really just makes me so happy. Great chapter. :) Report Review
Hannah! I'm very sorry for the long delay in reading this chapter for you -- I would open it, and something would distract me, and then I'd come back to it only for more distractions to hit. And that's been going on for hours now. But it certainly wasn't your chapter's fault, not by a long shot! I'm so, so glad you finally updated!!
I've really missed Lucy, you know? I'm not sure if I ever told you this, but the way you write her very much inspired the way I wrote Rose into a novella of mine, because her character voice is wonderfully distinct and fun. (And, you know, she's totally falling for Lysander.) I'm so excited she's going to Romania officially! I absolutely cannot wait to see it.
I LOVE your Weasleys. Love, love, love. ♥ Percy was absolutely splendid in this chapter, and, I think, very reminiscent of his canon self. A lot of people, when they write him, tend to make him a bit of a caricature, I think. It was amazing to see otherwise here! Which makes me even more excited to see your Charlie, oh my gosh. ♥ You nailed writing one of my three favorite Weasley boys, so of course I know you're going to write the other just as fabulously!
And now comes the part where I throw a lot of your own quotes back at you, because this chapter made me smile a lot:
Hagrid had been around back when my father was still in school, so that basically made him ancient. -- Oh, I am always up for a subtle dig on how old parents are. :D Although really, Hagrid's got to be extremely old... He went to school with Voldemort! Makes you wonder how he's still puttering around the grounds when Harry's at school, never mind Harry's kids.
There. I’d said it. I’d done it. And without fainting, too. Ten points to Lucy! -- Ahh, Lucy! She's so adorable. ♥ I don't know why this line in particular made me smile so much... But it was wonderfully endearing. :)
And the strange thing is that as I said it, it didn’t even seem like a lie. -- BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO KISS LYSANDER, AMIRITE. Well, I mean, spend some time alone with Lysander, and then kiss him. He was sadly lacking in this chapter; I need more of him in my life. And he and Lucy make a very, very adorable couple. That is all.
THANK YOU FOR UPDATING, THIS WAS GLORIOUS. I didn't realize how much I'd missed all this until reading it again! And I can't wait for the next chapter, and Romania, and the inevitable smooch, and all of it. ♥ Fantastic job!!Author's Response: I'm sorry for the delay in responding to this! But I finally finish school tomorrow so I finally have some more time. -throws confetti-
I really did miss writing Lucy, and Lucy in general! She writes herself in a lot of ways. She's (shh!) one of my favorite characters, I think. And that's probably the coolest thing anyone's ever said to me, so. ♥
I'm glad Percy came out all right as I was worried about writing him! :) I'm quite excited for Charlie, though a bit nervous as well. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best!
Simple but effective! ;) But it's seriously weird when you think of how OLD Hagrid must be. Through Voldemort, then the Marauders, then Harry and the Trio, and then onwards... goodness gracious.
Haha, I remember writing that line - I have no idea where it came from, but it sort of came to me and then I realized that it was something that Lucy would completely say. :)
;) ;) well you know... aha. But I missed having Lysander in this chapter, too! He shall put in an appearance next chapter though, yey.
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, IT WAS GLORIOUS TO RECEIVE ♥ You're seriously fantastic! Report Review
Heather! She is probably one of my favorite characters (after Lucy, since she's the main character, and Lysander because I want him as my own partner in projects). Okay, so she's third, but only by a hair. She also has my favorite line here: "if anyone ever tells you you're not good enough, tell me who they are and I'll punch them in the face." That's a loyal Hufflepuff for you, and an even more loyal friend!
I loved the way you arranged this chapter! It began with Lucy's letter and ended with Charlie's response. I enjoyed Lucy's ramblings in the beginning, assuming Charlie would forget she was Percy's kid. Oh, Lucy, just because you don't really see Charlie much, it doesn't mean he doesn't know the names of his brothers' kids! Her tone indicated that she wanted Charlie to not allow her to visit the dragons. I admit, meeting a dragon would intimidate me a bit. I almost expect Lucy to pass out a few times when she gets to Romania.
I continue to love Lucy's references to how large and famous the Weasley family is. By the end of the century, half the wizarding population in England will have the Weasley last name. At the end of the millennium? The world! Okay, I seem to have gotten caught up with Lucy's ramblings about her large family back there. Sorry about that. :)
I apologize for not having left a review sooner, but I still adore this story! I knew Charlie's response would be an affirmative, just because Lucy desperately wanted the opposite. Can't wait to see her in Romania at Christmas.
Oh, before I forget, best ending line right here: 'Suddenly, everything just became real.' Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: First, I want to apologize that it's taken me a few days to answer this - I'm in the middle of finals right now (whew!) and this absolutely brightened my day. So thank you!
I have to confess: Heather's secretly one of my favorites too. Writing hers and Lucy's friendship is so much fun - I feel like they just really work well together! Such is the way of best friends, I guess.
Lucy, subtle as always, haha! Naturally Charlie remembers her - there aren't THAT many of them. :) I wouldn't be surprised myself if Lucy passes out once she's in Romania - it's a very real possibility I'd say.
Thank you so much for reviewing! It really did bring a smile to my face. I'm glad you liked it and I do hope to have a new chapter up soon! ♥ Report Review
This is so good! You don't seem to think you can write fluff, but I have no idea why, this is genuinely really enjoyable and entertaining, I really, really like it! You've made Lucy into such a likeable character, and it's great. Basically, I love this story, keep it up, update soon please :) 10/10Author's Response: Aww, thank you! :) I'm glad you like it and Lucy too - and I really hope to have an update up soon! Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
I am really enjoying this story! I'm glad you are stretching yourself to be funny, and I think you are doing brilliantly. Lucy is a great character, and so is Heather. Update soon!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! :) Glad you're liking it! Report Review
Whoo! Finally finished this story! I loved Lucy, of course, and Heather - who is an incredibly awesome friend whom Lucy is lucky to have - although I do wish this chapter was a little bit longer, but ah well! You can't have everything in life (like me and your brilliant writing skills). Anyways, please update soon, I really want to know what happens next!Author's Response: I loved writing Heather for this chapter - she and Lucy are just really fun to write when put together! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon and a bit longer, then! ;) and aww, thank you! I'm sure you're a fab writer yourself - I'll have to jump on the next post you make in the battle and review something of yours! Thanks for such lovely reviews! ♥ Report Review
Excellent story so far, you gave me an excuse to abandon my procastination and actually read this incredibly fantastic story. Lucy is definitely realistic, as out of the Next Gen kids, she is the one who seems to be quietly quirky but fairly normal, and I loved your portrayal of her! And yay! Thank goodness for Lysander, always there to save the day! Keep up the good work, and I'm going to read the next chapter now!Author's Response: Oh, I know all about procrastination! :) haha
I'm glad you like her! I do have a soft spot for Lucy... she's such an underloved character normally. And yes! Lysander saves the day once again! Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
Ahahaha, Lucy really is in over her head. She hates this whole dragon project, more than she can even put words to. And actually, she doesn’t hate the whole thing…just the whole ‘let’s-be-within-100-metres-of-a-dragon’ part. And this really has been evident, but I know it’s about to get a whole lot better!
Lucy’s letter to Charlie is something I found comical. I like how she started the whole thing introducing herself and explaining she was Percy’s kid. It really fits within her character to do that. And just the rest of the letter was great. She’s blunt about what she needs to do and really doesn’t show much offense if it won’t work out.
Charlie’s letter back was even more entertaining. He seems to have the same sarcastic edge to him as Lucy and I’m really excited to see more interaction between his character and Lucy’s. They are sure to bring about some laughs. My favourite line from his letter would be this:
“Of course I remember who you are. Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I’m senile, you know.”
Hehe, it made me laugh. There were also a couple other lines from this chapter that I absolutely adore. Those would be:
“Delusional, but that seemed to be a theme running with Care of Magical Creatures professors.” ~Doesn’t surprise me, coming from Lucy, even in the slightest. Although it does seem to hold true, up to a point… :)
“Frankly, the rest of us seem like chopped liver in comparison, albeit chopped liver with a famous last name.” ~Ahahahahhahaha. This was just great. The whole thought fits well with Lucy’s character and just…it made me laugh!
One last thing I want to mention before I’ll be done is Heather’s character. You really have used this chapter to your advantage to help further develop Heather’s character. You have Lucy waking her in the middle of the night and instead of being mad or anything, Heather just talks to Lucy. In true Hufflepuff form, she reassures Lucy and helps her to slow down her thoughts to sleep. It really is telling of Heather’s character. And with Heather saving Lucy from the owl? It just added to the whole effect!
And with that, I’m done with my disjointed rambling about how amazing this chapter was! Also, I really can’t wait for another chapter! I want to see Lysander’s excitement when Lucy tells him that Charlie can work it out. It should be great!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: Oh, Lucy. Her problems are really stacking up, aren't they?
I'm glad you're excited about Charlie because I'm excited about Charlie! I must confess that I'm a little nervous to write him, but at the same time, really excited. He has a sarcastic edge to him for sure... I think he and Lucy are going to work nicely together.
And I'm really so glad you liked Heather because I was so excited to show her more in this chapter. I love writing her and especially when Lucy's thrown into the mix - they're just lots of fun.
Thank you so much for such a wonderful review- your reviews always make my day. ♥ Report Review
First off, I love the title of this fic. I Love Lucy is just awesome.
I love your character of Lucy. She kind of lives in the shadow of her older sister and is a wonderful rambler. Some things you've written just crack me up. "I thought I was supposed to be in the nice house. If Heather is nice, then I shudder at what must go on in the other houses" and "Being a Puff is fun. Low expectations, nice people, a cheery common room... it could be much worse." She's has an interesting view (slightly sarcastic and pessimistic, but funny and dramatic).
I also like Lysander. He's enough like Luna to be amusing, but normal enough to be realistic and not ridiculous, like some charcterizations I've seen.
If Lucy's even afraid of owls (which, by the way, I find hilarious), I'm sure she'll have an interesting reaction to dragons. I love how she gets roped into it even though she really does not want to.Author's Response: I love that TV show! I couldn't resist using as the title.
I'm very glad you like Lucy. She's definitely dramatic, I have to say - but I do promise that she won't over-exaggerate everything!
I didn't want to make Lysander too over the top - but he is Luna's son, after all.
Dragons and Lucy will be an interesting pair, I'll leave it at that. :) Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Keeps getting better and better! Loved it.Author's Response: Thank you very much! :) Report Review
I enjoyed this! I love this pariing planning on reading all the chapters soon.Author's Response: Thank you and I'm glad you did! :) I really like writing the two of them. Report Review
Ahahaha, I loved this chapter, just like the rest! I can never get sick of reading about Lucy Weasley and the disaster of taking Care of Magical Creatures. She’s such a realistic character and her troubles are just so entertaining!
And Lysander! I love how his character is coming along. At first he just seemed like an overenthusiastic Ravenclaw who was just a wee bit oblivious as to what was going on around him. And, I mean, he is, but there is more to his character. He has this softer side when it comes to Lucy and I just get this feeling that he’ll be the reason she gets over this fear of animals. Because she has this inability to say no and disappoint him. Haha, she’s such a good Hufflepuff ;)
Another thing I loved in this chapter was the simile’s and descriptors Lucy used. Two of my favourites were:
“Well, if by 'doing fine' she meant copying Heather's homework, then I suppose I was doing just fine.”
“She's loopier than Professor Trelawney (and, if you know Trelawney, you know that says something). She's fruitier than the fruitiest of all the fruit flies. She's battier than a Transylvanian bat (do they have bats in Transylvania?).”
You really bring Lucy’s character out with descriptions like these. Her sarcastic, yet realistic edge is just hilarious. I can never get sick of it!
I also found one small word error: “Still, Lysander looked at my with some concern, which was actually kind of touching.” –instead of my, you want me.
This was, once again, a really great chapter! I always enjoy coming back and reading more! Great job!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: I secretly love writing Lysander. (or I guess not so secretly now, haha) We'll get to know more about him as the story goes on, so hopefully you'll see his character develop even further!
(but yes, I think he probably will have a hand in that. ;) )
Ahh, there's always one error. -hides- I read over it before I post it, but I guess my brain reads it normally haha! Oops.
Thank you so much - your reviews are always so wonderful! :) Report Review
Ahahaha, I have really come to adore this story! I love the numerous opportunities I find to come back and read another chapter in the adventure of Lucy Weasley and Care of Magical Creatures class. She really does hate the class…which make it even more comical as to why she took it.
Lucy’s characterization gets better and better as the chapters move on. You really have a good feel for writing her character. It’s really believable and some of the things that run through her mind…just brilliant. I love her monologues and her descriptions. Some are obvious over-exaggerations and her being melo-dramatic but it’s all the more reason to love her character! She has such the personality and really doesn’t hesitate showing it.
I also love the characterization you have of some of the other characters in this. With Lysander, Heather, and what was his name…Russell! Russell was a brilliant addition to this chapter, and I like how you have him speak out to help Lucy get out of the situation. It’s rather sweet, though I’m not sure he’s necessarily intending it to be that way. Lysander’s character is much the same way, but in a different sense. You can tell he wants to help her with him mouthing answers to her…though she fails at reading lips. :D
That also leads me in to some of my favourite parts, which, again, were everywhere. I liked the sarcastic comments going on inside Lucy’s head. ESPECIALLY during Care of Magical Creatures class. She’s lucky she doesn’t blurt out everything she thinks. These two specifically did make me laugh out loud:
“The first thing you’ll wand do…is to make sure it's a bowtruckle.”
"What are some things that a bowtruckle might be mistaken as?" A llama.”
For both of those parts, I just had to laugh. She’s so brilliant when it comes to words. And, as I think I’ve already mentioned with Lysander…I like that he was mouthing answers to her. I kind of had that feeling he would be…just because.
The other things I really enjoyed again in this chapter was the imagery and comparisons. You paint such beautiful pictures with both of those things, and I just…I get so lost in it and it’s great! Again, I’ll share one of my favourite quotes from those parts:
“…I was slipping, drowning deep into the lake - no, ocean, that sounds much more grand and dramatic - into the ocean of fifth year.” --I love the over dramatic. And I love the imagery that creates. It really is great.
One last thing: I know this is tons of compliments, but really, I didn’t find any errors. Maybe I was just distracted in reading, but really, your grammar and everything is great! Can’t wait to read more [As you left with a semi-cliff-hanger, which is great]! This is really fantastic!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: It really makes my day when people say they like Lucy - she's a character that's really close to my heart and is probably my favorite out of everyone to write. So hearing that makes me smile!
I, personally, fail at reading lips. D: It's sort of inconvenient. The bright side is that I'm still able to have wordless conversations with my friends across the classrooms with eyebrow raises and hand gestures!
Sorry for this fail of a response, but thank you so so much for the review! Your reviews are the best and I really appreciate them! ♥ Report Review
Ahahaha, I’m so glad I got the opportunity to come back and read another chapter! I love the life of Lucy Weasley and her oh-so-scary Dragon project. The characterization and realistic perspectives [i.e. the whining she insists on doing] is amazing! It makes me laugh, some of the simple comments she makes to herself in her head. They sound typical to her character and it’s great! I love it!
I also adored so many different parts of this chapter. The comedy in it is great. Lucy not realizing that it was after dinner and she was meant to meet Lysander? Haha, I actually laughed out loud at that one. It sounds exactly what I do when I’m having one of those days…it’s great! I have a couple other parts that were also highly entertaining ,but I’ll actually put three quotes for those favorite lines:
“Flobberworms are interesting,” I argued. “Fascinating, really.” –Haha, she’s got a solid argument there ;)
“(Granted, I was breathing pretty loudly. And granted, we didn’t have the best track record: I was a bit too clumsy and a bit too loud for her to really like me. But still. She’s an awfully judgemental person.)” --Haha, I love the ‘awfully judgmental person’ part, especially after her complaints! [Judgemental is spelled incorrectly…don’t need the first e]
“I mean, if Lysander wanted to make me look smarter than I already was, I wasn’t going to stop him.” –Hahahaha, typical Lucy from the sounds of it! :D
I also loved the references to the creek. I liked how you pulled that in on numerous occasions. It added a sense of unity to the chapter, helped keep it flowing!
Once again, Great job! I can’t wait to read more!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: And I'm so glad you came back to read it! :) I'm glad she seems realistic - the truth of the matter is that Lucy /is/ whiny and that's just who she is. But I don't know anyone who doesn't at least have whiny moments, so there you go. Glad the characterization seems okay!
Oh, God, I've had those days. -.- Nothing else can be said.
Flobberworms are totally fascinating. -nods- Ooh, and thanks for pointing that out! I always get confused with the e's. D:
Thank you very much for such a lovely review! You're wonderful. :) Report Review
I am so glad this story updated! I actually didn't notice it for a fair stretch -- my top-favorited story updated just after this one did, and since it had previously been top of the list as well, I didn't check what was under it for a stretch. But I forgot just how much I loved this story until I returned to it. :)
You're dead-on -- I loved Heather's character in this chapter, and she complements Lucy very nicely. I could not have written a better best friend for her! I admire her for being willing to counsel Lucy through the wee hours of the morning, because I can't say I'd do the same in her position. And rescuing Lucy from the talons of death, bless her. ♥ Lucy had me cracking up that scene, diving underneath the table and all. I loved that bit!
And so the plot thickens! Oh my goodness, I cannot wait until I get to see how you write Charlie. He is one of my favorite Weasley boys (you might ask why, but I wouldn't have an answer for you), and I think I probably already mentioned that but it still stands. I can't believe they're going to Romania! Love and dragons abound!
This review was one totally big ramble, but if you got nothing else out of it -- I loved this chapter, and love your story in general, and you're just tops all around. :D I am so envious of how you can switch from more serious stories to this, and have the transition be virtually flawless -- and then some! I hope to see an update from you soon, and can't wait to find out what happens next. Excellent work!Author's Response: I'm glad you like Heather, because I really like Heather too! She's surprisingly fun to write - the two of them, really. I've been on both ends of the early-morning-counseling bit - suppose it depends on how tired you are, heh.
I love Charlie too! I feel as though we don't get to see a lot of him in fanfic, so I'm actually pretty excited to write him. A little nervous too, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
ha, I am the queen of rambles so I don't mind in the least! ♥ Thank you so much for reading this - it means a lot! Report Review
Oh my gosh! This is adorable. I absolutely loved the style this was written in (with all the aside comments that sort of break the fourth wall written in parentheses). It all felt really light hearted and fun and was really amusing. Your characterization of Lucy was refreshing too! Lysander made me laugh. I'm looking forward to reading more of this!!
MelissaAuthor's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked the style - it's fun to write for me, and I think it works well for Lucy. I'm glad you liked it and thank you for the review! :) Report Review
Hi BFF Lucy!
So I loved Lucy's letter to Charlie - it was everything quirky and hilarious that I love about Lucy. I really liked her little reminder about who she was, as if Charlie could forget about his family. But it was really amusing how she kept bringing it up throughout the chapter how large their family was...taking over England, please.
I think my favorite part of this chapter was the friendship between Lucy and Heather. Heather is just so patient and kind to Lucy (bless her Hufflepuff soul) and she's very reassuring when Lucy is spazzing out about her self-worth, or you know, when she's terrified of owls pecking her to death.
Yay! They can go to the dragon sanctuary. I can't wait to see Lysander's reaction to that news, I bet he'll be super excited. Though I must say I'm really interested in how Lucy is going to deal with spending Christmas break in Romania..with dragons..that are living creatures that could burn her to a crisp. Heh. Poor, poor Luce, what did you get yourself into?
Great update! I can't wait for more. :DAuthor's Response: I could have sworn I had answered this review! I remember writing a response and everything. D: Clearly, I am going crazy and I apologize!
(your BFF Lucy says hi :P)
Writing Heather was definitely my favorite part of the chapter. I think she got to prove her Hufflepuffness here! Mostly just writing those two together makes me smile. :)
Dragons! Yay! (Oh, Lysander will definitely be excited.) As for Lucy... she has no idea what's she's gotten into. Hopefully she doesn't burn to a crisp. ;)
Thank you for the review! ♥ Report Review
Another interesting chapter. Once again, a solid narrative from Lucy, and I got a good laugh out of stereotypical Shelly. I was waiting for a true Hufflepuff. So far Lysander is well done too, although I hope Lucy gets to know him as a person soon, rather than just a chatty, enthusiastic Ravenclaw. I've no doubt you have that planned, though.
I see this is where the plot starts moving, introductions are over, so it'll be amusing to see where this whole dragon thing goes next, and how far Lysander takes it. So far, an entertaining story and the humor is promising. Nice job.Author's Response: I figured there has to be at least /one/ typical Hufflepuff in each batch, right? :P And yep, Lucy will get to know Lysander better over time!
Lysander's definitely holding on to the dragon idea. :) Thank you very much for the review! Report Review
This was an enjoyable first chapter, and for me Lucy's voice was the key. Her narrative was quirky and funny and though it could have drifted into the typical cliched, sarcastic girl, you did a pretty good job of keeping Lucy away from that. Her preference for an easygoing project is something anyone can relate to, because we've all had that class where we just want to coast through and move on with our lives. Her friendship with Heather is amusing, and her fears about her sister are believable. A lot of the stuff I liked were just the little things, bits and pieces Lucy added that made me smile.
I know this is more of a humor fic, but I'm hoping to see some character development in the next few chapters. There's rarely only a resentment of a sister, only disappointed parents, only a girl with a sense of humor and a fear of magical creatures. Those are all the first layer of characters or emotions, and there are always memories and dreams and opinions that form multiple layers. I'll be interested to see where you take these characters.
A quick note: trust the word "said." I noticed a lot of other verbs, which is fine, although unless they are the first things you think of, it's usually best to keep "said." When you use too many other verbs, it's distracting to the reader and they get the tiniest bit caught up. Same with adverbs. Some are good, but when you have "meekly," "warily," "halfheartedly," "brightly," etc, all one after another, it has the same effect as too many different verbs: more distracting than helpful.
Overall, nice job.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I really, really didn't want Lucy to end up being super sarcastic or cliched, so that's good to hear. I guess I just sort of want her to end up being believable - which, I guess, is probably a common goal for writers!
I do have plans for character development - it might seem slow going at first, but hopefully it'll come. Character development is one of my favorite parts of writing and so hopefully that will show as the story goes on.
I definitely have always struggled with how much is too much and how much is too little in regards to the word "said" - so thank you for the advice! :) I'll give that a try.
Thank you very much for the review! Report Review
I loved this chapter, from the very first word I read, I loved it.
The writing style was the first thing that really caught my attention. Its past tense, but first person, which is something I don’t see much of…well, it’s definitely not something I would think of using, but I’m really glad you did! It really allows me as a reader to step into Lucy’s mind and see the world just like she does. The feelings Lucy has towards Molly, with Molly being head girl and a genius [well, smart at least], is so realistic, it’s actually kind of scary. I know how it feels to stand up against someone who is like that and feel ordinary, and that’s exactly how Lucy’s character is. Right down to how she feels about her parents too. She feels she let her parents down, long before she had done much of anything to prove it, and it’s just such a real feeling. I can definitely hear it echo from Lucy’s thoughts.
I also have to compliment the flow that comes with your style of writing. It was so easy to follow along with each of Lucy’s rants, whoever or whatever they ended up being about. Adding in the humor with her rants also had me laughing out loud at points. It’s just so excellent!
The only thing I did notice was this sentence:
“I scampered down the lawn, my bag baning repeatedly against my back.” --I believe you meant ‘banging,’ instead of ‘baning.’
Other than that one sentence, I didn’t find any other mistakes.
I also have to say, I love Lucy and Lysander’s conversation about choosing their subject. Lysander wants to go all out and find some creative creatures while she’s hoping for Flobberworms, and that being the end of it. And then ending up with Dragons? Haha, I love it!
I really enjoyed reading this! I will have to return to read more chapters soon… :D
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review!
First person past was just what immediately came to mind when I sat down to write this story. It just seemed to suit Lucy best. As for Molly and Lucy - I'm glad you could relate. Sometimes it feels like I put myself up to impossibly high standards when I should just realize that I'm different from my sister. :)
Glad you could follow along! I know Lucy tends to be a bit of a rambler, but I'm glad it made sense. (And that I made you laugh!)
err. D: Oops! I noticed that, but I haven't edited this chapter yet - I will get around to it! Thank you for pointing it out :)
Flobberworms... dragons... almost the same thing, really. ;) Right?
Thank you for the lovely review! :) Report Review
Seriously. Lucy is like my bff. I am so in love with her. Her rambling is endearing, and her conversation with Wallace, trying to get out of the practical part, and Wallace being like, "oh, we'll conquer your fear!" Haha, poor Luce, just can't get out of anything.
I love her obsession with food, as always. And the little tidbit about her grandmother, Molly, and food solving all problems. I love the little things you write about her family, like Hermione not being a Weasley and being able to hold her liquor, and Hermione and Ron being so in love.
Molly II is a bit of a Debbie Downer, isn't she? I feel like she treats Lucy with kid gloves and it'd get frustrating if I was Lucy to have to deal with that. But I kind of giggled when Molly said Lucy's pretty bad with remembering date, and then she proved that with Lysander and forgetting to owl Charlie about Romania.
Oh my god, Lysander is so adorable, being all despondent when he asks Lucy if she's okay with the dragons in their project. And her being all like, "I'm a Hufflepuff! I can't make him sad!" It's precious.
I'm sorry this review isn't anything more than me being all like, omg, I love Lucy and Lysander, but it's true. I love this story, and I'm sorry I didn't get around to reading this chapter earlier - totally meant to get to it over break because I had seen it was updated.
Update soon! :)Author's Response: haha, oh, Lucy. ♥ She's consistently one of my favorite characters to write, so it means a lot to me when people like her!
I firmly believe that food does solve all problems. It's definitely a fact.
Molly IS a bit of a Debbie Downer, it's true! She's definitely a bossy older sister, but she does mean well. She'll be coming up again in a couple of chapters in Hogsmeade and will prove to be a not-entirely-awful big sister then. (I hope!)
Lysander is really, really excited about this dragon thing! Lucy definitely couldn't let him down.
Quite all right- you're more than aware that most of my reviews end up being rambles anyways haha. Thank you so much for the review and I'm glad you liked it! :)
(and the next chapter should be up in a week-ish or so - I have a few things that have to go in but this is right after that!) Report Review
Well, here you are again with another chapter, and here I am with another review (I meant to R&R sooner, but RL has been a pain). But just to let you know, the only tomatoes here will be tomatoes put on a salad or made into soup. Or maybe tomato sauce. Or ketchup. . .
Right, so what I really enjoy about this story is how you sprinkle tidbits about her Weasley relatives into the chapters. At the beginning of the chapter, I thought it would be cool if Arthur was my own grandfather. Then the bit with Harry, Ron, and Hermione made me smile. I just love that family, and you help make my love grow stronger with the cuteness!
Another thing I love is Lucy's ramblings. She's really talented at saying a lot of words and yet conveying no clear message, isn't she? You have a good talent at making her nonsense seem so natural and making it flow well with the story.
Ooh, I'm currently torn on whom I want to win for this class. We have Lucy who is perfectly fine being afraid of animals and would like to keep it that way. I want her to stay happy. Then we have Professor Wallace, who is only trying to be a good teacher and help Lucy overcome her fear. I want both of them to be happy, but they both can't get their way. Grr, I'll just have to wait and find out how it ends, I suppose.
I suppose I'll end this review by saying that I still love this story, and I hope you come out with more chapters when the new year comes! And if I could trade places with Lucy and do the dragon project for her, I would in a heartbeat! I would love to study next to a wonderful guy like Lysander any day!Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review and sorry I didn't get a chance to respond earlier! D: (Food always seems to sneak its way in, doesn't it? ha)
I think Arthur would be the coolest grandparent ever! A total sweetheart. I love the family too, so I'm glad you do as well!
;) You'll just have to wait and see! dun dun dun
New chapters should be on their way soon as the queue opens up again! I've got at least one written in advance. Thank you so much for the review! ♥ Report Review
Fa la la la la, la la la la! (Goodness... that's a lot of 'la'!) ♥
I'm so glad this story updated in time for me to review it -- and here I had JUST been moaning about the chapter shortage, too. :D And now I get a nice round 5 reviews in, which is such a nice and crisp and even number of reviews that it makes my little obsessive-compulsive heart sing. :3 Everybody wins!
So Lysander is perhaps one of the most adorable things ever, and I am so calling out his crush on Lucy right now. Precious! The way he is so concerned, and so enthusiastic about dragons and the project... Baww, Lucy, wake up and see how head-over-heels this boy is for you. :D ♥ You're turning me into a Lucy/Lysander shipper before I even know which way's up! My next generation preconceptions have all been dashed of late, and this story helped majorly with that -- so good to know good authors can write next generation. :)
I love your characterization of Percy, too -- he is EXACTLY the sort of father I imagine he probably ended up being. Forcing Lucy to take two extra classes, poor girl. :P Although if she hadn't, this story would be moot, so I don't feel too badly for her, of course.
I just cannot wait until we get to the bit about Romania. THAT IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME. And Charlie! Percy and Charlie are two of my absolute favorite Weasleys, and getting them together is just... There is so much excitement going on over here. :) I hope you get another chapter up without too much delay, because I'm really looking forward to an update! Excellent job, as always, and I hope you have very happy holidays! ♥Author's Response: That is quite a bit of 'la'! :) And five is such a nice number. (makes the OCD part of me happy!)
Success! ;) Is it weird of me to say that I think writing Lysander is really fun? Because it kind of is. I'm glad you've ended up not minding next gen - there can be a lot of cliches, but I do like how it provides the most freedom.
It's for her own good! :P (Which is pretty much exactly what my father told me when he forced me to take Latin.) (Then, of course, I promptly attempted to fail out of the class. The point was taken. I did not have to continue.) I don't want Percy to be a total git... but I could see him being a bit pushy in some regards!
I'm actually super excited to write about Romania. And Charlie. It's going to be fun, I hope! And the next chapter is written and should be going into the queue once it opens again.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews! ♥ they've been so lovely! Report Review
Have a holly jolly Christmas... ♥
Lucy's characterization just gets better and better with each successive chapter, and it's just so much fun to read about her! All of her little bouts of internal monologues and descriptions and dramatic flair really make me want to get to know her better. And that's really something that's admirable, because for some reason, a lot of people write next generation characters off to be completely rude on purpose. Which just doesn't make sense to me. BUT THE POINT IS. I think you've got Lucy characterized here extremely well!
I sense there might be a bit of something eventual between her and Lysander, and I do hope I'm right, because I think that would be adorable as all get-out. :D They are so the unlikely couple with their names written in the stars, and now I am totally shipping them. They can, I don't know -- bond over a dragon, or something.
This review is probably of no help to you, because in looking back over it I realize it's sort of a ramble. Honestly, this was a fantastic first three chapters, and I really hope you'll update soon so I can leave you a (proper) review! But no matter what you write, fluff or otherwise, you're very talented, and you can pull it off so well. :)
Have a lovely holiday, and eats lots of delicious food, of course! ♥ Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Thank you! Lucy's one of the easiest characters to write for me, and I think I'm pretty happy with her all around, so I'm glad you think that. :)
heh ♥ Maybe they will ;) You'll just have to wait and see!
Your review was lovely! (also, I found it funny how the next chapter was validated right after this, heh) Thank you so much and I hope your Christmas was lovely! Report Review
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