Reading Reviews for Fade to Grey
  
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa Three

24th December 2012:
Last one for now, unfortunately, I have actually been conned into watching a movie with the family - the fact that they're using 'we're family, why not?' as an excuse and the whole reason Helena took the diadem was to spite her mother seriously strikes me as really ironic. Anyway. Onto the actual review now.

Like with all short stories, one of the most important things that come to me is how effortlessly the time passes between all of the chapters and this most definitely was no exception to the rule. I've written a short story myself and I know how difficult it is at times to wrap up all of the loose ends (and seeing as I only had three chapters, this was essential) and still leave the reader wanting more or wondering about the story and how hard it is to make sure it doesn't feel like a short story and the time passing isn't too rushed - and yours isn't, trust me.

The introduction of the Baron again brings some more to the ever-expanding plot, and quite honestly I'm interested to see how Helena will react to him coming after her and how and if his apparent love for her shows even when it's obvious that she's not interested in him whatsoever (still writing-as-I-read, so sorry in advance if this is said during the end of chapter). Heck, I'm looking forward to everything and it really is a shame I can't get the time to review the fourth and last chapter before the end of tonight.

The Baron through Helena's eyes really isn't... dashing :p Especially if you compare it to the way she looks at Godric, which amuses me again. Change around the characters, plot and setting and it could definitely pass excellently as any Next Generation story, but even with the romance plot a skeleton of one, somehow 'Fade to Grey' has a voice to it that no other story that I can think of does, and it's wonderful to read because it shows in the way you write.

I don't think you have mentioned whether or not this is the first time that the Baron and Helena meet, but asking her to marry her? Gosh, he really is forward, though I guess this is what you get for reading a story set in the founders era. Especially when you consider the fact that the Baron is indignant Helena didn't fall into his arms and squeal yes while any modern man asking the same question would have probably been beyond devastated if they loved the girl enough to ask for her hand in marraige.

The Baron is beyond creepy o.O "I will return in one week." If I had been Helena, I'm pretty sure I would have fainted dead away on the spot after hearing that - because no means no, surely? He is seriously determined, poor Helena. Now I'm wishing more than ever my parents aren't yelling at me to hurry up with this.

These chapters were absolutely lovely reads and I appreciate getting the chance to review such an awesome story, which really deserves way more reviews than it has now. Once again, merry Christmas Marina, and I hope to see you around for the next round of Secret Santa presents! :D

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Review #2, by Secret Santa Two

24th December 2012:
Back again, lovely! I'm promising myself to give you very long reviews - consider it my Christmas present to you, along with next week's :) Anyway, I have spotted one tiny little flaw in this story - I can't find any mistakes in it! Normally I am ridiculously picky, and by picky I truly do mean that I'm the type of person who can spot spelling mistakes and commas placed inappropriately from a mile away. Kind of ridiculous, but I guess that kinda says something for the quality of your writing.

Helena's thoughts are so... morbid. It's totally a weird thing to point out, I know, so don't mind me but I guess that knowing that she dies in the end and decides not to move on (does it have anything to do with Lord Ravenclaw's death? The thought only occured to me now, admittedly) makes everything she says or does or heck, even thinks, comes off as twisted to me. Though seriously, I think it's just me.

I'm going to bring up the whole period-appropriateness thing again - not to do with descriptions or words this time, but actions! Especially in the first couple of paragraphs, like where Helena describes the messenger boys being easy to bribe just by flashing her ankles at them :p I thought that that was a ridiculously nice touch, not to mention something to add a flash of humour to your otherwise serious story.

I guess I'm so used to the founders being renowned for stuff and that stuff being actually, well, true, that it surprised me a little when Helena mentions that maybe her mother wasn't as intelligent as everyone thought - and there goes you foreshadowing stuff again! Being bitter about Rowena's brains definitely strikes me as being a catalyst for Helena running away with the diadem, not to mention the new reason you mentioned already in the summary and story and gosh, I feel pretty stupid reading this because not even half of the things you have put in would have occured to me if I was writing this. Hmph.

Helena introducing herself as Rowena to Godric made me giggle a little - here I was, reading her thoughts and thinking that she was probably one of those weak-minded people or something until something else gives her a boost to steal the diadem for herself and run away and then she goes and does something as cheeky as this! Just goes to show that you never underestimate any girl, no matter how far in time she's from, especially if you know how her story ends. It always makes me sad, since from reading the books you know the character you're reading about dies.

Ohmygosh, Helena didn't know other people knew about magic *flails wildly* Talk about a bomb dropping! I had assumed from the beginning that everyong used it, thought twice when the Ravenclaws were arguing in the first chapter but the fact that magic (ahem, sorcery) is still pretty hush-hush when it comes to the founder era is definitely interesting. Did I mention that I feel totally stupid every time I read this story?

Long again, I'm sorry - this must be a total pain to read through because I have nothing helpful to offer except gushing over this story. It's too freaking beautiful, hmph. Anyway, onto the next chapter for me, so see you there!

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Review #3, by Secret Santa One

24th December 2012:
Merry Christmas, Marina! :D Sorry for the lateness - I've been out all day today, indulging myself in some books before Christmas Eve, of course, though I could definitely settle for reading any of your stories all day, everyday! For the Secret Santa for the Ravenclaws, this time around I have decided to give you with three or four reviews, depending whether or not I am conned into watching a movie with the family but definitely three at least!

Onto the point. The thing that most struck me while reading Fade to Grey is how effortless the writing is, and how professional it seems - very unfair for the only average writers like me, you know :p Even just by skimming the page you can tell that you have experience in writing and that you probably slaved away over this painstakingly for ages until you found something you liked, and seeing as I'm doing a 'write-as-you-read' review and have barely started the first paragraph, that's definitely saying something about the standard of your writing ;)

YOUR DESCRIPTIONS *dies* I am so jealous. Every paragraph is like one huge chunk of descriptive goodness, and seeing as I rarely, if ever, decide to read a Founders fic, I definitely appreciate it since I have no idea what I'm going in for. Not to mention that everything is perfect in its time - I'm not really sure if that makes much sense (heck, it probably doesn't) - and period-appropriate and nothing feels out of place for the era, even the little things like similes, like this one for example:

"... her mood changing direction like thread on a loom." Even the person who won't quite do so well in history will be able to tell what you mean.

As for the characters - holy graveoli, Helena and her mother are exactly how I imagined them! Even so, Helena has a very original voice, even if the story is told in third-person narrative, and seeing things through her eyes is very interesting, especially since it concerns a story every honest fan knows well - the theft of Rowena's diadem. The premise itself seems intriguing, not to mention that even in the first chapter you're tying up any loose ends J.K. Rowling presented to us and making up your own. Not to mention the foreshadowing or lampshading or whatever you want to call it - I can see why Helena seems so bitter towards her mother.

You even mentioned the Baron and his love! Since he killed himself for Helena, he must have loved her truly but you give us a reason why Helena never loved him back instead of leaving it to our imaginations or just plain out saying that she hated him for no good reason at all.

Yikes, this thing is long :p Still, since I'm only giving you three or four (for now, cough, cough) I'm glad it's long. This chapter was a lovely one with everything you'd come to expect from an accomplished writer and/or an introductory chapter - I'm looking forward to the next!

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Review #4, by coolsilver Four

19th May 2012:
An interesting take on the Founders:
-I question where Salazar and Helga are in this tale, and there are questions unanswered about the founding of Hogwarts, but I assume your intention was only to spotlight this one moment in the history of.
-Helena was not a founder, although she very well could have been involved, and it is that I wonder how she came to mind for the tale.
-your writing style is to be praised, I was able to read at a good pace, and appreciate the portrayal of Helena and Rowena.

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Review #5, by charlottetrips Two

16th February 2012:
Oh! The plot thickens exponentially! That's so devious. Helena is such the rebel child, not really knowing the boundaries but knowing enough to want to toe the line and blur them a bit.

This whole scene with Godric had me holding my breath as I thought she could slip up at any moment! But knowing the Ravenclaw in her, inshouldve known shed be nimble enough to slip her way around!

The descriptions were amazing. I really like how you're keeping the writing formal and old English sounding. Though I could find it annoying, I like that it lends credibility and substance to the story in general!

xChar

Author's Response: Helene is such a rebel, but I think she had to be in order for the story we know from the books to ring true. It took me a while to work out how she was going to grow into the rebel and why she wanted to betray her mother, but I hope I did it justice here.

Thanks so much for the review :)


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Review #6, by charlottetrips One

12th February 2012:
I always find stories about Helena fascinating. Then with your premise, I’m just wondering if this is going to be canon or if we’re going to go in some other direction.

As a small point, I thought Helena was dark-haired…

Bringing up her father’s death as the catalyst to strife being introduced into her relationship with her mother is believable. We all know that Helena was a rebel, but the whys and wherefores weren’t really gone over. I can see Rowena becoming an uncomfortable person to be around with her intensity being focused on Helena who seemed a bit of a wild child. But it’s sad to think of Rowena trying to forget her husband but also Helena forsaking her mother’s wisdom and love. But there also must be more than just the loss of her father. This whole argument reeks of long-held bitterness and strife.

You’ve certainly set the tone for this story. Helena comes off as strong-willed and rebellious as well as resentful. Rowena, despite her wisdom, seems at a loss as to what to do with her daughter. I have observed that those who are intelligent and clever sometimes find it hard to understand or deal with people as opposed to their books and equations. Something that I think they tend to forget is that people aren’t always logical.

Author's Response: I can't remember if Helena's hair is ever described, I just knew that Rowena is described as "fair" so I went off that. I'm never too bothered by canon haha.

People aren't always logical, and I reckon Helena's found that out for herself more than a few times.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #7, by LittleWelshGirl99 One

5th December 2011:
Hi hun! Oh how I love well written Founders eras. I think this was a wonderfully refreshing and indeed enjoyable read.

You captured the era rather nicely, especially with the simile 'like thread on a loom.' I love that! The language you write with also suits the era; not too complicated but sophisticated and quite serious. But when you say 'Daughters were seen and not heard' it just jars the flow slightly, almost as if you were perhaps trying too hard to fit the time period and prove it's a founders.

Rowena is characterised very differently to the stereotype which I love! The only thing is that occasionally you describe her personality contradictively. You say that she has started focusing on sewing and household abilities rather than imparting wisdom, then when she walks into the room you describe her as rational, strong-willed, independent before she has a massive fight.

Please don't take this as criticism, I love the story so much! It's wonderfully written. I'm just trying to up my reviewing capabilities slightly!
Hope this was helpful (ish!)
LWG :)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll Two

1st December 2011:
Wow.

I really admire Helena and loved her trickery in this chapter. Her confidence never seems to amaze me, I'm not sure how old she is supposed to be, but she carries herself with a maturity beyond her youth. Godric seemed delightfully characterized and I really enjoyed reading him. I'm so anxious to read the next chapter and hope to do so very soon. I cannot wait to see/read Rowena's response to her daughter posing as her to such important company.

Well done once again,
Melissa

Author's Response: In my head, Helena is in her early-mid twenties, the same age as Godric. I'm glad you enjoyed, thanks for reviewing, Melissa! ♥

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Review #9, by WitnesstoitAll One

1st December 2011:
I've been meaning to read this for ages, Marina, and I'm so glad that I finally got a chance to!

I really love the dynamic set up between Rowena and Helena. The later seems like an admirable character. She is strong in her sense of self, and that if refreshing to see. I feel like living under the shadow of Rowena Ravenclaw would not be easy to do and still stand with your chin held high.

I like the style of this piece. It's not so descriptive that the story gets diluted, but descriptive enough that I could see the era... the manor, the room. It all painted a really lovely picture.

Lovely job!!

Author's Response: Writing Helena was so fun! I bet it would be rubbish having Rowena as a mum, seeing as she has such an awesome reputation, yet no one ever mentions that she has a daughter. I bet it was tough. Thanks for the review!

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Review #10, by HarrietHopkirk Four

19th September 2011:
Aaw, the last chapter! And beautifully written, as always. I loved the interaction between the Baron and Godric and Helena – really well written and intense. I could really visualize all of it, so well done! Once again, I love how you use description and all that other stuff. And once again, I’m really eloquent and coherent.

I loved the ending, because it is open-ended, seeing as she goes off to Albania, hides the Diadem and then the Baron kills her. I was wondering whether you’d go that far, but I think it works – that you have just captured just the perfect moment, especially with Godric.

I now love Founders fics.

Without the diadem, her mother was nothing. Helena possessed magic and intelligence beyond what her mother could conjure. It was hers and hers alone. Wit had set her free; knowledge would let her soar.

She’s so crazy. I love it though!

I love this fic! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Author's Response: EEE THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your reviews are so awesome. Thank you so much for the wonderful review and also for the Dobby nomination!

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Review #11, by HarrietHopkirk Three

19th September 2011:
I love, love, love your characterisation of Helena. She's so cool and a little evil and ambitious and awesome. She has her flaws and it makes her all the more realistic - it's strange how connected I can feel towards someone who is fictional and also lived so long ago.

And happy birthday, congratulations!

And your writing is just spectacular, as always, your word choice and descriptions are just awzum. I also love Rowena – I always pictured her as this cold and aloof lady, shrewd and beautiful, and her dealings with her husband’s death and Helena just confirm that. I suppose she would be affected by his death… but I can partly blame her for Helena’s cray cray.

HOMG THE BARON! I WUB! He’s so cool and intense and disgusting at the same time.

I LOVE THIS STORY! And the last line.

Author's Response: thanks so much :)

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Review #12, by HarrietHopkirk Two

19th September 2011:
EEE! BIRTHDAY FELICITATIONS!

AND WE CONTINUE ON!

I'm really getting this rather sly, manipulative side to Helena - she is clever, like her mother, but she uses it unwisely. She can read people and their reactions, whereas her mother reads books and whatever. WHY DA HELL IS SHE PRETENDING TO BE HER MUM? DAT WEIRD AND CRAZY.

The description of Godric... hnggg lnggg gaah.

I love, love, lurve the dialogue. It's so old school and lovely and cool. Eee, I'm so coherent.

THE BEGINNING OF HOGWARTS. AND HE'S GOT DA WRONG RAVENCLAW! Oh my, I love this story! I read very, very little Founders era stuff, so the characters are totally new to me - but this seems so canon! EEE!!! WELL DONE! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you :D

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Review #13, by HarrietHopkirk One

19th September 2011:
Aaah! Marina! Happy birthday to you.

You know how much I love your writing. Like... so much. It's like totally fetch and awesome. Let's hope you don't lose all your talent just because you're super old and that.

I love how your description flows - it works so well that I can picture everything: Helena's father's study, Helena's emotions, her relationship with Rowena. You've really got a way with words. The balance between over describing and under describing is perfect, and you're able to give the reader the perfect amount of backstory - enough to allow mystery but give us enough to actually understand what is going on.

I love your characterisation of Helena - it is really perfect! How she switched from giving knowledge to simply teaching her daughter to sew and stuff really sets up for Helena's estrangement from her mother. Helena wants to rebel - hence the stealing of her mother's diadem. Your dialogue is also spectacular and really in character – really believable and naturalistic!

GAAAH I LOVE THE CHARACTERISATIONS AND THE WORDS AND EVERYTHING!

EEE MARINA!!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #14, by CharlieDay One

16th September 2011:
Hi! It's me here, for the swapping of reviews! I chose this story because i love the title. I don't know if you meant it this way, but it's an interesting play on the idea of house colours, fading away in a togethery way.
I'm not so sure about the summary, though. It would be nice to make it a bit more mysterious, and help it hook the reader in.
This is absoloutly beautifly written, though. It conjures up such a picture, i just.. Ohh, any way, I love :D
Also, can I just praise you for the way you've written the dialogue? It sounds realistic to the time period, but still not silly.
The plotline's awesome too! The way you've written Helena and her mother has such a dynamic, it's not just chucked in there, and it's really believable!
I do love this story, and i shall review the other chapters soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for the summary advice, I'll have a look at it :) Thank you so much for the awesome review :D

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Review #15, by Phoenix_Flames One

4th September 2011:
MARINA! I'm finally here to review this fic! I had been meaning to for so long, and it had been on my list for ages. And now I finally got to! YAY! And first off, I want to say thank you so much, you ridiculous girl, for that compliment in my review thread. :) I am no where near an expert in the area, but I will take the compliment. Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed my founders fic. :)

Anyways. Onto the story! :P

I thought this was a brilliant opening chapter. While not much is going on, you used the plot to cleverly set up the basis of the story and Helena's relationship with her mother. That was so clever. I love the way you have characterized them and set up the story. And Rowena's character is perfect I think! Absolutely perfect. Just when she said "No man will see my tears, Helena. They will not be privy to my weakness," it only added to her character, and I think she's just right. You've set up a brilliant basis for them to being disagreeing with one another to push Helena on the verge to steal her mother's diadem.

Your descriptions in this chapter were brilliant. I always love your descriptions. They are the most beautiful and vivid I have ever seen. You always have a way of pulling the reader into the story, and it just feels so alive and as if we're right there. Gah, beautiful descriptions! :)

This was wonderful! I can't wait to see the other characters and just how you will do this story. Absolutely wonderful!

I will be back soon for the next chapters.

ILY, MARINA! :)

Author's Response: ILY MORE, DRUE ♥

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Review #16, by firefawn Four

22nd June 2011:
That is hysterical! She almost gets Godric and then fails at the last instant! And then in act of true childish petulance steals her mother's diadem! Absolutely fantastic story! I love it, and shall attack the other chapters with reviews later! :) I "might" have enjoyed it so much that I just read it straight through. The only constructive thing I could say (I always try to come up with something for stories) is that each chapter the paragraph formatting is the same, and it can seem almost blocky at times whilst reading. The content, however, is astounding. Great job on this!

Author's Response: Haha, thank you!

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Review #17, by firefawn One

22nd June 2011:
First things first, your attention to detail and emotion is excellent. The scene and emotions practically drip off the page, and one can picture exactly what type of room, location, etc. that the conversations are taking place in. On the flip side, you do not provide too much detail, so it is not overbearing by any means, and still allows the reader to have some imagination in regards to setting. Essentially you struck the perfect balance here so great job!

Secondly, the interaction between the mother and daughter is excellent and realistic in a very refreshing type of way. Not every family gets along perfectly, and quite often there is a peace keeper in a family, and as soon as the peace keeper is removed words can become more heated and harsh, which you have shown perfectly. As far as the grieving processes go, you have shown the PERFECTLY. I work in a hospital's hospice/terminally ill unit, so have seen a LOT of families grieve in different ways, and you have exemplified two grieving types and just how horribly they can clash together with excellent precision and style. Fantastic work on that!!! 10/10

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #18, by thehyacinthgirl Four

14th June 2011:
This was beautiful! I absolutely adored the story.

I liked the way you ended it, too. Not with Helena's death, but with her flight. I really enjoyed that because there are so many stories that simply focus on her death, as I mentioned before, so it's refreshing to see one that focuses on her life.

I wanted to hug Helena in this chapter, I really did. I felt bad that she and Godric couldn't be together because I feel that she did truly care about him.

It's a pity he couldn't have forgiven her.

Your characterizations, as always, were brilliant. I loved Helena and Godric, and even the horrid Baron (which I assume is the soon to become Bloody Baron?). I loved to hate the Baron, he seemed so enchantingly nasty that I think that he would give Rita Skeeter a run for her money. -shudder-

Your descriptions and word choices continued to make this piece flow quite nicely. Not to mention I didn't pick up on any grammatical or spelling errors - so kudos there.

I have always appreciated stories with that polished look.

I think that my favorite part was when Helena told Godric her heart never lied and he pauses yet carries on. It was so sweet whilst at the same time so heart wrenching that I wanted to punch the Baron in the face (even though he's a fictional character) for infringing upon her happiness and intruding on her meeting with Godric.

Not to mention I felt a twinge of annoyance at Rowena for being such a nosy, obnoxious cow. Everyone seems to assume that Helena was a brat - but I think you proved in this story that sometimes it's like mother like daughter. I really hated Rowena in this entire piece.

This story was highly original and very clever and I really adored every moment I spent reading it. Wonderful job! I really, really adore this.

Wonderful job!


Linders

Author's Response: thank you Linders :)

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Review #19, by thehyacinthgirl Three

14th June 2011:
I have to say only six reviews thus far? That's insane! This story deserves more attention. It's certainly a well crafted tale and one that is rather original. It deserves to be read.

I love your descriptions and your word choices - they seem to compliment one another quite nicely and don't seem too dense or too wordy. They really do flow together quite nicely, in my humble opinion.

As far as your characterizations go - I love them. They all seem to be rather canon, and I nearly laughed at the Baron's reaction to Helena's statement. It always surprised me how readily some girls married the people that their parents chose for them.

I suppose they didn't have much of a choice, but I would be inclined to take a path much like Helena's. I wouldn't have been a very 'good' daughter - much too stubborn and strong willed much like your Helena. I think that's why I quite like her, I can certainly relate to her.

She has her flaws, but one can feel sorry for her because of the tremendous pressure her mother is bearing down on her and because of the expectations that were thrust upon her by no choice or wanting of her own.

The plot is unlike anything I've seen in Founder's tales which is refreshing. Most people seem to focus on Helena's death if they talk about her, at all, so it's nice to get a glimpse of what she was like whilst she was still living.

You seem to make the characters and the places in this story come to life, and I can picture this all so vividly as if it's really happening. That's another quality I adore of this story.

I can't wait to see how this all ends.

Great job!


Linders

Author's Response: thank you so much! what a wonderful review :D

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Review #20, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Two

26th May 2011:
...
Have you changed this significantly or is my memory failing? :P I do not remember any of this in the previous version, except the arrival of Godric and Helena's lies.

Regardless, it was yet another beautiful chapter. I love everything about this. It reads as elegantly as the characters come across; it's so smooth and fragile. I love it.

I can't wait for the next chapter ♥
xx

Author's Response: I LOVE YOU.

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Review #21, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme One

26th May 2011:
Lovelyyy ♥ I'm so glad you decided to rewrite this. I've only skimmed it to see the differences and I know you said that you thought it didn't make sense, but it definitely did.

I really like how you've changed the role of the Baron. It makes him so much greedier and more Slytherin-y than in the previous version. He hasn't even appeared yet but I can really see the darkness in him.

Wonderful start
xxx

Author's Response: ily! ♥

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Review #22, by thehyacinthgirl Two

26th May 2011:
I started reading this last night and intended on leaving you a review then, but mother nature kicked in, so sorry about that. I'm here now, though, so I guess that's all that matters.

This was charming, though, I suspected no less from you. Your works are always beautiful. However, I did spot on grammatical error as I read through this: What her seemingly innocent smile and charming words had gleamed from the boyish messenger was that her mother's guests were indeed rather important. - gleamed should be gleaned, I believe. Other than that I didn't pick up any other errors.

As far as flow, syntax, and spelling go I didn't pick up on anything that needed mending not that I suspected I would. You're pretty good at picking over your things.

As far as your characterizations go, they are to die for! I absolutely love your Helena. She is ambitious defiant, she is clever, she has no regard for the rules. I would have definitely pegged her down as a Slytherin (though I think it's rather apparent in the books that she's a Ravenclaw - did mummy influence that or what?) if she attended Hogwarts. Clearly, that didn't happen in this tale.

Your descriptions were beautiful, too. I really liked this line: Batting her eyelashes a few times, she admired how handsome he appeared, his head haloed by the sunset, eyes sparkling in her presence. It's just a gorgeous thought to behold in one's mind, and very true to life.

I like seeing people haloed in light, myself. It's just very picturesque, if you will.

Helena is such a devious little sprite, but I find that I really like her despite the fact that she can be a bit of a brat. Maybe it's because you've her mother such a loathsome creature in this piece.

From the moment I first read her name in the first chapter, Rowena had already grated on my nerves - so great job poking around Helena's mind. I would definitely say you have her pegged down to a T.

Marvelous job!


Linders

Author's Response: thank you so much Linders!

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Review #23, by Mintleaf One

23rd May 2011:
Hello there!

I absolutely love stumbling across good founders fics! It's such an interesting era! :)

I love the dynamic you created in the Ravenclaw family. Helena's father acting as a mediator between mother and daughter creates an excellent premise for the deterioration of their relationship when he dies. You've set the scene so well there!

I noticed one or two little typos. 'that could possibly outside the door' - I think maybe you're missing the word 'be' (I'm awfully tired at the moment so I could be reading that line wrong though haha). Also, 'How does removing ever memory of him' - every memory?

The dialogue was also fantastic! It seems appropriate to the era, which is probably quite difficult when writing Founders. I also thought all the little details you included (like Helena gripping the table/spreading her fingers across the table) drew out so much more emotion, which was lovely, and made the story much more enjoyable. Also, the little details like Rowena wearing blue were subtle and gave the story more familiarity, which I guess is another thing that's hard to do with Founders fics.

I presume the 'young baron' is the one we're all familiar with? Anyway, I'm very interested to see where this progresses! Great chapter :)

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #24, by DarkLadyofSlytherin One

22nd May 2011:
Marina, I absolutely love this new beginning! It's so indepth. I love it!

While I want a review that is worthy of such a lovely fix, I doubt that'll happen. I'll end up being all fangirl instead. This fic was amazing before you took it down, it's fantastic now. I can't wait to read what happens next.

Though, I'm curious, the following line seems to suddenly be in first person. Is it Helena's thoughts? Just curious.

I knew what she was telling me and I knew she was right; but I hated her for being the one to tell me.

Can't wait to read the next chapter! Hope your muse stays with you for awhile.

Len

Author's Response: oh damn, I corrected that in the first version but obviously didn't change it in this one. I'll run off and edit that now, thanks Len!

thank you so much for the lovely review :) I'm glad you like the new version!


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Review #25, by thehyacinthgirl One

18th May 2011:
I read this before, I just didn't review it yet. But now it seems that you've started anew. Sorry, I didn't comment on it before, I'm not really sure why I didn't. Maybe I was strapped for time and didn't get a chance to and it slipped my mind afterward? Not sure, I don't really remember and it's not really all too relevant; anyway.

I absolutely adore the idea of Helena having siblings. I don't know why, but I do. It's never said in the canon if she had any or not, and I think it's assumed that she's an only child simply because it's never stated otherwise.

I also love your characterizations of both Rowena and Helena, and how they contrast so sharply with one another. She's certainly her mother's child, but she's sick of living in the confines of what her mother considers 'woman' or 'Ravenclaw'.

I really rather liked that because it makes their relationship seem much more realistic. Of course, I always got the impression that their relationship was a bit strained in the canon, so this just seems to align quite nicely from what we know of them.

I really like Helena, though. Usually, when I read through stories with Helena I have a tendency to loathe her because she's such a stuck-up little brat and seems to have a high horse for absolutely no reason and she's so slap worthy that it's not even funny.

However, in this story and first chapter alone you've seemed to humanize her, and I really like that. It seems a bit of a role reversal from the norm - Helena is humanized and Rowena seems remote and distant.

I also like the notion that Helena won't allow anyone to control her emotions, and why should she? For being so wise, Rowena certainly made a mistake in trying to control her so closely.

This is just mind blowing good. I absolutely adore it! The language, the wording, the conversations they're all so well done. That in addition to the no spelling or grammatical errors, it's just fantastic. I just want to squee all over the place in a happy puddle.

The plot is rather original, too. I've never seen anyone attempt a Godric/Helena story before so I'm a bit excited to see how this turns out.

Great job!


Linders

Author's Response: thank you so much Linders! It means a lot to me that you came back to read this again and left me a review :) This is going to be a weird one for me, because I'm not posting this after it's been completed. I hope you'll enjoy the rest! :D

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