Reading Reviews for Family Pride
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Family Pride

20th June 2015:
Hey there!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

This was a lovely look at the relationship between fathers and sons and how it affects growth and development. I could clearly feel how badly Draco wanted to be like Lucius in every way. You've done a good job of highlighting that with the actions he took. Even his group of friends was a mirror image of his father's group of friends.

It was refreshing to see Scorpius rebel against that. He seems to have gotten more of his mother's qualities than his father's. I like that he befriends anyone regardless of parentage or house. I like that he's interested in muggle technology and that he wants to go into medicine. No child is a carbon copy of their parent, so it's nice to see Scorpius be his own man.

My only bit of constructive criticism for this is that the formatting is a bit strange. You have massive gaps between each paragraph and it makes this a bit more difficult to read. I think if you get a chance, going through and deleting some of that would help.

Otherwise, good job!


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Review #2, by academica Family Pride

30th December 2011:
Hey! Here from review tag :)

Your summary drew me here -- it's a very heartfelt way to look at how things turned out for the Malfoy family. I really like Draco as a character, with all of his complexities, and I figured I'd drop by and see what you'd done with him.

Lucius's whispering to Draco was really intriguing. It would be very easy to flip most of his comments around and make them the whisperings of a member of the Order to his child or a younger witch or wizard, perhaps a student like Harry. That is, I think it would be easy to make them sound like they were insulting those who followed Voldemort instead. That's kind of a powerful effect, I think, intentional or not.

I also like the part where Draco would walk through the Ministry's halls and hear people whispering about him. We know that their comments were meant to mock him and demean his family name, but it's so like Draco to wear them as a badge of pride and accomplishment. People are quick to dismiss him as a mere sheep, but it's kind of sweet how he wanted so badly to impress his father out of love and respect, and your piece does a good job of illustrating that, I think.

As usual, you've put a deeper spin on the characters we think we know, and I really like the theme of love and admiration that you've written here. It gives Draco a true human side, and the ending, where he was finally able to see his son's opinion in its real beauty, was the most touching part of all.

Wonderful, as always! :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I think you've reviewed just about everything I've written at this point!

I originally planned to center this story around Harry and his children, but then I couldn't figure out a good angle for it- I couldn't see something good that Harry would frown on. Instead, I chose to center it around Draco (a choice I'm very glad I made), so it's very interesting that you thought that Lucius' whispers to Draco could easily be flipped to have the opposite effect.

I definitely think that Draco loved and admired his father, which is why he acted the way he did. I'm glad that you think that this piece did a good job of illustrating that because once I dove into it, that's the intent that I wanted it to have.

I'm glad that you think I gave Draco a human side, because that's what I enjoy most about writing in the HP universe. JK Rowling gave us so many grey characters- no one was perfect in her stories.

Thanks once again for reviewing!

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Review #3, by parashar_harry Family Pride

28th October 2011:
u have captured three people thinking about life in one shot owo , its very difficult to do .
the story was over , then it struck me " hello mr. its over go for review" i was so involved in it ..oh i can't explain
superb, beautiful etc ( u can add any word for ur praise )

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story!

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Review #4, by Rosadora  Family Pride

5th June 2011:
Holy crap...this is so great. AMAZING progression in the story, amazing use of langauge, words, of everything. It's wonderful. Usually I don't go for these kinds of "no/little dialogue" type stories, but I clicked on this one just for kicks. WOW. I'm so glad I did. This is wonderful. Actually, amazing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you liked it!

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Review #5, by charlottetrips Family Pride

29th May 2011:
Char from the Forums here with your review!

I must saw WOW! ! ! ! This was a blow-away assessment and insight in the mind of one Draco Malfoy. I loved how you just took that character and broke him down, piece by piece, so that I could really see how much Lucius lived on in Draco but also how Draco was different and willing to changeóbut only with the help of his progressive son.

Your flow and pacing was wizard and I was just completely taken with the whole thing! I didnít notice any grammatical or spelling errors really but I also wasnít paying much attention to that ^_^ so caught up in the story as I was.

Your story summary completely captured what this story was about and Iím so glad I was able to read it! Write more stories! Now! :)

x Char

Author's Response: Haha! Thanks so much! I'm so glad that you feel that way about the story!
I'm glad you feel that way about the pacing- I was almost worried that I hadn't spent enough time with Scorpius.
Thanks so much for the review- I'm so happy you liked it!

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Review #6, by LilyFire Family Pride

28th May 2011:
It's really great. I love the way you've portrayed Draco and I love the way you've shown how Scorpius is like his father, but also the ways hes different. It's great, it really is.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you feel that way about the differences and similarities between Draco and Scorpius. It was difficult trying to decide how to show that Scorpius would be different from his father.

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Review #7, by marissa lily potter Family Pride

19th May 2011:
LOVVED IT! This was such a cute story. It made me go aw multiple times. I actually felt like crying because I was so happy with it. This was something completely different from what you usually write yet it worked. It was cute, it was emotional and it was of course, incredibly well written. This was such a great story to read. I could definitely read this story over and over again. Everything in here just worked out so well and the way you stick so well to canon without making it seem boring is a skill that is to die for. It's such an amazing skill to have and I am so happy with the way you integrate it into your stories.

One thing is that I wish that this story could go further. It looks like it has the potential to be a short story if it wanted to be but if you don't want to do that, then it's absolutely fine the way it is, as a one shot. I'm incredibly happy with this one-shot. It has to be one of the or the best one-shot I have ever read in my entire fanfiction reading experience. I salute you for writing this so well! :D

Author's Response: I think I'll leave it like this, though I might go back and edit it some more-- stretch it out a bit. However, I currently think it should end here. Thanks so much for reviewing!

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