Michael's fine I think. I think you can show lots more about how he gets along with Al and his sister and use that to indirectly advance Michael/Dom (or not?). You are already using a lot of different POV's, so why not Michael?

Author's Response: I tried writing in Michael's POV and it was just boring for me. I need something to spruce him up...

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Hi there!

This was a really great chapter as well. I think you have a lot of room to work with the host of characters that you have here. I think that it would be interesting to see things from all of their points of view especially how one may envy the others relationship or a look into what the girls were discussing. I like how guys always talk casually, but girls have to talk in private. It is almost like a code.

I am not exactly sure where you are with the story line. Only because I started with the last couple of chapters here, but I think in the next few days I am going to go back an read the first four so I have a better understanding. I can PM you if you'd like about anything that I think maybe helpful.

I would like to see what kind of crazy chaos occurs with these characters on the Hogwarts Express and during school especially since it is an important year for them.

Overall, I think you did a great job with the chapter and everything flows well. It is believable and unique. I love the characters and the way that they come to life in the way that you portray them.

Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: I have trouble writing the girls when its just the girls. Frankly its because girls are still a mystery to me. What do they talk about besides clothes and boys? Haha I'm kidding! I have lots of female friends who I have wonderful conversations with. But I still have trouble writing teenage girls.

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Hi there!

I really liked this. It was interesting to see the Next Gen. characters interacting with more muggle type electronics that are altered with magic.

I really liked the vibe I got from all of the characters. I felt that you portrayed their personalities well and described the scenes well too. I thought it was funny when his parents were snogging. I love it when parents (not mine) embarass their kids.

I did notice some minor typos/spelling errors, but those are an easy thing to fix. The flow of the chapter was really great. I think it was well balanced with the pace of the chapter as well.

I really liked the interaction between the kids. I think it is fun to see an I am interested in seeing more of it. Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Typos are the bane of my existence. And writers block...

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Hehe. this is so awesome... as is dr seuss...! :) 10

Author's Response: Dr. Suess is pretty cool!

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written pretty weirdly/averagely. don't like it so much sorry

Author's Response: I suggest you read the later chapters. It becomes more uniform and less choppy.

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hahaha love this!! I liked the part with is parents kissing that was soo funny!! Update soon! :D

Author's Response: Glad you thought it was funny!

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Awesome! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Well it's written! I'll post it soon!

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Ah, overprotective older brother. Love those stories! I can actually believe that Julie would have loads of boyfriends, I'm around the same age, and LOTS of people in my school year have had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend! I have actually enjoyed reading this that much I'm going to become a regular reviewer, I can't wait to find out how many more boyfriends Julie gets, wether Rose and Scorpius get together, and the same with Albus/Beatrice and Michael/Dominique. Well done for winning my challenge! Love Livvy x :)

Author's Response: Those stories are good usually! I don't think that will be a major issue though in this story and will be kept to a side-plot at the most.

YAY! That's so awesome! And I can't wait to find out those things either as I might be cruel and kill of Michael or something. Maybe...

Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to enter Set Fire To The Rain. I thought it was a great challenge and I'll definitely look out for more of yours!

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Ooooh, this chapter was even better than the last! Rose finally admitting she likes Scorpius, and Hugo gettinga girlfriend! *aw!* Ron must be so proud! I also loved the part where it says Julie had a boyfriend and how we should have seen the look on Michaels face, trust me, I could picture it! I also liked the ending! Overall, it was a very good chapter! Reading next chapter now! Love Livvy xxx :)

Author's Response: Oooh yay! I'm glad you thought it was better! I'm also glad that you like the part with Rose talking to Beatrice. I thought I might've been rushing it a bit, but I guess not then.

If you like the character of Hugo, my story How To Survive Being Friends With Lily Potter features the same Hugo. I like Julie a lot too! I think she's a good foil to Beatrice.

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Hi! I'm here with my first review! This is a good start to a novel/novella, and I can't wait to read more. The sorting hat song is very good by the way, did you write it, or is it somebody else's? I think this can get very interesting, with Beatrice and Albus liking each other, and the Dominique/Michael situation seems like one to keep an eye on too! I'm going to read the next chapter now! Love Livvy xxx :)

Author's Response: I did write the Sorting Hat song! I thought it was good but no where near as good as Jo's.

Oh yes you should definitely keep on eye on Michael and Dom! I'm up to chapter seven right now and there's some good stuff coming up!

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Awesome! Update soon! Please!

Author's Response: Soon! Be patient!

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Haha this chap was funny! Update son!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Another great chapter! I really like the character of Hugo. He seems to be very mellow and different from some of the others.

Author's Response: I think Hugo will have a biggish part, so I'm glad you liked him!

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I like this quite a bit! I even lol'd at parts!

8/10

Author's Response: Glad you liked it!

Thanks!

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Haha I love Beatrice! She's really funny!

Author's Response: Glad you like her! I like Beatrice a lot more than Michael actually.

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I'm liking this so far. You have a good amount of humor and deep...ish stuff at the same time!

Author's Response: Thanks!

I'm glad you like it!

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Hahaha! I love this story...especially Beatrice. Oh by the way Happy Birthday! Woot! Woot! it's your Birthday! *Ahem* nice story. :D

Author's Response: I know you love her!

And thanks for reviewing and the happy birthday!

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This is good! update soon!

Author's Response: Sure thing

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