Fab story, Albus sounds so cute XD plese update soon Report Review
Excellent, this story gets more interesting with every chapter. I LOVED the characterization of Hugo and Dom. Hugo is officially my favorite and I have never liked him in any other story, he always seemed whiney or just not important. The Star Wars reference had me shouting at the computer with glee! :D
I was shocked that Scorp would ask Rose for help to get Jo but then again it's another twist in the story. I suppose a double love triangle if you will. Scorp-Rose-Jo along with Scorp-Al-Jo. How confusing! How fantastic! How dramatic! Excellent job. Report Review
I love Hugo, he's awsome!!
Great chapter, very very funny XD
I can't wait to read the next chapter. Report Review
Hehe I love the Doctor! Even if I'm talking about the wrong one...
Ah well on to the review! :D awesome chappio :D hehe I looove your Hugo! Or maybe I just love Al's depiction of Hugo! Hahaha I loved the feminine scream part too, hilaaarious! Oh and both of the ten galleons that went along with that! Hahaha
I caaannot wait to see how this goes! And Scorpius wandering around with bare feet; priceless!! Heheh well don't worry about the wait because it was worth it :D ahh I can't wait for your next one! I think this might be my fave chap so far, actually! I hope we see more of Hugo ;PAuthor's Response: Don't fret, any Doctor is as good as any! Did I get the phrase right o_O
Woot I'm grinning like an idiot when people say they like Hugo. What is it with him, though, I wonder? I wrote this chapter sometime after watching Insidious, I think, so that's probably why he becomes who he is today ha xD
Hugo will definitely be important to Al's cause, and I don't put him in Slytherin with Scorpius for nothing. I shall hint no more. Report Review
IM really liking your story so far and cannot wait for more.
so far Joan seams so nice and being friends with Hagrid has def made me like her sooo much. i am Liking al more than scorp atm mainly becaus i find the shy thing way too cute.
AND thanks for writing! Report Review
Okay, I'm reading this again!
You shouldn't think I didn't like this fic again, because I did. But yeah, your second chapter WAS a bit overwhelming. I think I really didn't like her being a metamorphmagus...it was just too much, you know?
However, I'm more than willing to see how this progresses. You said the character wasn't a good person and I'm Really excited to see how. I love evil main characters. :P heheAuthor's Response: Aaye what would a story be without some constructive criticism, right? :p Ooh, I hope Joan will be evil enough for you in the future *crosses fingers* Report Review
Ah, first I'm on my iPod in the gym so if this comes out all wonky sorry. I can't copy and paste fav quotes but there's plenty! Love scorp and his inner thoughts he had me smiling and laughing. Laughed at scoretta, perfect name combo! Loves al's inability to talk to Jo! Since everyone always has him as the type where girls obsess over him. Excellent job! I'd write more but this is proving to be difficult!Author's Response: ah gawsh so many loves I think there's enough love to create a rainbow~~
To be honest, I love writing Scorpius. I feel like I can let loose with him, be totally nutty while maintaining the prospect that I'm dead serious, and get away with it. Plus I don't have to go into too much details of anything because he's more of a spontaneous, easily distracted guy as you can see (or if. I'm not too subtle in character development I think :/). One second he'll be eating, then he'll think about this crazy theory about how the universe would combust, then he'll start eating again.
I understand if you think my head is as wonky as your iPod after this. :P Report Review
hahaha 'time to assemble a team,' best last line! I think my favourite part of this chapter is probably when Scorpius grabbed for his hair thinking it was the snitch, haha so funny :D and I love Als, 'just oberserving' :P haha this makes me laugh, you are funny, don't put yourself down :D
I can't wait for the next chappie :D and to see what happens with the teams and the plan!Author's Response: yay you think I'm funny :D Most people just think I'm a weirdo for my humor, glad you seem to like it though ;)
Oh look you've brought 2 fairies baq 2 lyf ur so kewll
(cause apparently being illiterate is funny for me nooo)
Chapter 4 is already in the works, btw! Report Review
I'm really liking this story so far :)
*makes a fairy come to life* :P
haa I laughed when Malfoy called them The Frocks,, it will be interesting to see how his date goes...
I can't wait for your next chapter :DAuthor's Response: hehe I honestly didn't think someone would laugh for The Frocks joke :P
And thank you for bringing a fairy to life.
Chapter 3 is out, check it out!
I didn't rhyme that on purpose, tho. ;) Report Review
I like this, I really do.
I like Joan, a lot actually. For one, I like the name you chose - names are important, and Joan is elegant and yet not altogether feminine or unusual. I like that from the start we have a pretty clear view that although she is the object of our other main character's affections, she's not perfect, and maybe not even deserving? Another review mentioned some Mary-Sue-ish ness, which I guess I could see. But at the same time I understand what you were doing in the second chapter - trying to convey to the reader the way the boys saw her, not as she actually was. Humans romanticize people by nature, and when writing a perspective it's absolutely essential to convey their perceptions. I think it was done quite lovely, actually. I love that she plays guitar and likes the Strokes because A) the Strokes are excellent and B) I think it adds a really interesting element to her character. I feel like the interest in muggle music probably, if anything, would make her far less popular at Hogwarts, where it seems like the Weird Sisters reign supreme.
I really enjoyed Lysander and Lorcan as well... I got the impression that their are definitely their mother's sons, though perhaps Lysander isn't so much as Lorcan is? Maybe I read too far into that (that's nothing new, haha).
James was interesting. He seems like he has a bit of a spoiled boy streak, what with mentioning how he always had everything first... but otherwise he's likeable. He seems like he's his father if his father hadn't had the whole 'evil wizard who wants him dead on his back 24/7' thing going on during his school years.
Scorpius are a bit harder to get a sense of, but that's mostly because his major appearance so far was pretty Joan-centric (as it had to be for the exposition). But I'm pretty sure you'll get to that soon enough. Hopefully in the next chapter, hopefully posted soon?! :D
- ElleAuthor's Response: :O
That review is too long and too awesome, my heart shall forever be mushy inside because you're so... wow.
Why are you such a spot-on judge on characters, I read your review and constantly went, "I know! Exactly!"? Except for the James part, because it's actually Albus :P
If you want to read the 3rd chapter (very predictably in Scorpius' point of view), you can check it out on FFN. I go by the name "Skyleidoscope" on it.
It has a sort of cliffy ending to it, though. Just a slight warning. Not that I'm going to edit it in HPFF and make the chapter end in a non-cliffy way. Hehe
P.S.: Yep, the bet/game starts in chapter 3. I'd love to hear what you think about it! :) Report Review
Well, the story is intriguing. But the female character has many makings of a Mary Sue, you know?
Beautiful (even more beautiful than a part Veela)?-check
Metamorphmagus (has special abilties which are exceedingly rare)?- check.
Intelligent(being in Ravenclaw)?- check.
Good at Music(plays guitar)?-check.
Show her flaws, you know..just a suggestion. It would make her more realistic. :)Author's Response: Hi, Woodrow :D
First of all, thanks for commenting and I appreciate your critism, but maybe I can talk you out of thinking her traits have the potential to be a 'perfect' Mary Sue. Personally though, she has the potential of being a 'look-at-me-I'm-so-original-and-unique' Mary Sue. Just hear me out. (;
1. Beauty: You know when someone is in love or has a crush and they tend to exaggerate everything nice about their crush? Every flaw is overlooked and every good thing is accentuated a thousand times over. That's what's happening here.
2. Being a Metamorphmagus: Pretty weak reasoning in this one, that's just because I wanted Laura Marling to portray her and I didn't know if I wanted her to be brunette or blonde, so she ended up being both. Told you it's pretty weak. I don't expect you to change your mind, really. :P
3. Niceness: We're talking about a girl who made 2 best friends fought each other here. Yes, she might seem nice at first, but believe me, she's anything but. Gosh, that sounded lame. Lol.
4. Intelligence: Guilty as charged, moving on.
5. Good at Music: I thought being able to play guitar just makes her all the more unusual (thus creating the potential of being a 'look-at-me-I'm-so-original-and-unique' Mary Sue) instead of cooler, because it's the Wizarding World. She might seem cool for being able to play guitar in the Muggle World, but in there it's different. All she will be getting when playing is odd looks. That's why she plays (and only plays) in Hagrid's place, because he's someone she can relate to, being different from the rest of the Wizarding World and all.
And don't forget that she hangs out with the Scamander twins. She's not exactly the most popular chick in Hogwarts, you know. Why do you think Albus and Scorpius have only noticed her in their 5th year?
But I understand where you got the impression of Joan being a Mary Sue from. Maybe I shouldn't have dumped all those positive traits in one chapter.
Thanks for reviewing, I'll try to my best to minimize the amount of perfection in Joan, perhaps add some flaws along the way too. But it might not be too obvious or subtle. Heck, it might not even be there, because as I've said, Joan has Albus and Scorpius on a string. It's hard to get 2 lovestruck boys to see sense. :)
If there's anything else, don't hesitate to tell.
-Em Report Review
haha very cute and funny! Can't wait to read more :)Author's Response: Ooh! First review! Thank you :* 3rd chapter is in the works, hang on tiggght ;) Report Review
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