This really was a tragic story! From a story standpoint, it was amazing. The emotions and descriptions flowed well with the song, and I really got a sense for what Harry was going through. So if I look at it from just a story, I really do like it.
But these characters all have established traits. And I really can't see Lily or Harry doing that. Lily, at least from what we know of her, wouldn't just cheat on her husband like that, and she would never betray her son like that. In canon, she gave her life for him. And I don't think Harry would be that cold hearted either.
You definitely know how to write, because this story was very good :D I just think it isn't very realistic with the characters you chose. If you just changed those, the story would be perfect! I hope this wasn't rude or harsh, because the story was great!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: I can agree on the point of the characters being out of canon but on the subject of lily do we really know what she could have done if she had lived? Yes she gave her life for Harry but that definitely doesn't make her an angel that never makes mistakes.
The same with Harry really, we don't know how he would have been had he been raised by lily and James and this Harry could have been a spoilt little brat.
I thought id mention I have written other fanfiction under the penname Fallenangel700 on other sites. The only reason I haven't put them up on here as well is because I'm not sure about the rules on posting the same story on different sites.
you were not harsh just the right mix of good and bad and I likewise would like to apologize for what could be interpreted as a rude tone in this reply and also for the possible wait you may have had.
Thanks for the review
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