Another heartbreaking story!
You have a real talent for tapping into sad emotions. I could feel Hermione's heartbreak and stuggles leap of the page; the emotions were just so vived!
When she found Ron's body, I thought I was going to cry for a second. Ron and Hermione are my favorite ship, so whenever they can't be together it makes me sad.
I thought it was nice that Hermione and Draco where able to find comfort in eachother. I'm not really a fan of Hermione/Draco, but this one was different because it wasn't a romantic connection, it was more of a mutal healing process.
I think you also captured the loss of the war really well. You really dug into what it's like to go through something so tragic and life altering.
ps. Happy new year! Report Review
listening to the podcast & lovin' it!!Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to review! The podcast was done so brilliantly, I am completely amazed at GinnyCullen's skills, she read it so perfectly I wished it wouldn't end! Once again thanks for taking the time to read and review AND listen to the podcast! :)
~ Ash Report Review
OMG this was so intense and deep. It made my heart break. It was extremely well written. The pain, the despair, the agony, it came across very strongly. I teared up when Hermione finds Ron's dead body. It was very agonizing. I liked how you wrote Draco though and the strange comfort he provided her meanwhile enduring pain himself. It was a very beautiful fic that broke my heart. I don't know what else to say, this was so perfect in every sense. Amazing writing here, great job.
This deserves a good 10/10.
end of an era review extravaganza: house cup 2011
forum name: AditiDraco95
house: slytherinAuthor's Response: Hi!
First off, let me take the time to apologise how long it has taken me to reply to your review, it's awful that it's taken me this long, but real life has been getting in my way this past few months. Secondly, thank you so much for taking the time to review my story.
I really wanted to create something different with Broken, I love writing something dark and sadness seems to go hand in hand with darkness so I couldn't help but include it as well. Draco/Hermione is something I'll take any opportunity to include, and this really was no exception, but I wanted to include it differently, more along the lines of a friendship than anything else, and I think it's worked.
Thank you so much for all your lovely and encouraging words and for taking the time to review my story as part of your reviews for the End of An Era celebrations! :)
~ Ash Report Review
As I wait for the next chapter of Confinement, I have decided to stalk the rest of your Dramione. I love your writing. Lovelovelove. You get emotions across extremely well. On to the other two now Author's Response: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to replying to all your reviews, things have been rather hectic this past month, but my internet issues aside, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read ALL my Dramione, I have to admit there's quite a lot of it, that's for sure! I think this one is different to anything I'd attempted before, because mainly I'm not usually one for song-fics, and mainly because it's friendship, although I don't deny I see the potential for a relationship lurking about in the depths of this one... The urge to write it is almost too great, but I must remain on my Confinement targets...
Thank you once again for taking the time to stop by and review this and read it based on reading one of my stories! I truly appreciate it! Report Review
Wonderful! I use that word loosely, as this is a tragedy haha, but I suspect you know what I mean. :)
I have to shed light on your opening paragraph: it gave me shivers, yes. Your use of irony really set the tone for the rest of the story.
Hope you don't mind if I share two small technical pointers to help you in the future:
1.) There is a time for passive voice, but it is distracting when it's overused, which I felt you kinda bordered on, though did not take a fatal leap into haha. Ex: "It is that brief period before lives much be rebuilt, and what is broken must be fixed"-->This sentence in itself is fine, but it is a bit wordy/distracting when accompanied by other sentences like it. Hope that makes sense.
2.) I saw a handful of comma splices. Ex: "She had to be strong, there was no room for giving in to her weaknesses, she was a Gryffindor – loyal and brave until the end."--> This is truly three independent clauses. You can separate them by ".", "--", ";", and/or the good ol' "..." :)
Hope these helped. Also, I am in LOVE with this line: "Although they had their differences, they were joined by a fate, one which neither wanted nor desired, but nevertheless tied implicitly until the end their days."
All that said: fantastic job! Enjoyed reading and reviewing. Keep it up! You've got that magical thing called a writer's touch ;).
P.S. I adore Mumford & Sons!Author's Response: Hi,
Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and I know exactly what you mean.
How I absolutely love technical pointers, I have some serious comma love happening these days, so this was really useful! :) Also I see entirely what you mean by the wordiness of those lines, I've always had problems with being a little wordy in my paragraphs, my teachers always used to comment on it, so I know exactly what you mean and I'll have to try extra hard to avoid it in the future :)
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate the time you have taken to do this and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
- Ashlee Report Review
Hi! Sorry for the delay in the review.
I'm just going to say now, very opposed to Dramione, so maybe I'm not the best one to review this! HOWEVER, I was very impressed with how you engaged with the lyric, and the overall challenge of veering away from what Rowling wrote - that must be a little scary!
I thought the language you used was lovely, the start and end were particularly striking. I thought the dialogue was probably too poetic for speech, but it did add to the intensity of the whole scene. Again, though I am uncomfortable with the ship or even the idea of it, I have to say I was very taken with how realistic it was; sure the battle was cause for celebration, but the aftermath wasn't really much better than the war, even if Ron lived unlike here (*sob).
I was really impressed with your mention that Hermione was split between two worlds. I don't read much about Hermione, though obviously she's awesome, but thats always something I wondered about with her. Just thought I'd mention.
Anyway, I really like how you write, very engaging and interesting. I think if parts of it were to be read aloud it would sound beautiful, an amazing gift in any writer.
Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Hi!
Luckily I didn't write this as the complete Dramione romance I had intended on it being, I ended up making it a friendship piece instead, so I think that might have been a lucky coincidence right there. Although I feel somewhat guilty for directing you towards a piece with a slight Dramione type friendship...
I'm glad the way I used the lyrics worked, the more I thought about it the more I doubted what I had done and in the end I just posted it before I removed it entirely... AU and lyrics just didn't mix well in my mind as I wrote, on one hand I had a story from the song and in the other I had this AU idea floating about, although I'm glad they came together in the end, because being honest AU is kind of scary sometimes... Even if it is pretty much all I write...
I always place a lot of focus into the beginning and ending, and I never know why, but I feel they draw everything else together in a way I can't quite explain, so I'm glad they came across as striking as I was really hoping for something of this effect in the words I chose :) Sadly, I wish Ron had lived here too, but it was not meant to be...
I too agree Hermione is awesome, I always felt she would be torn between the two worlds although the idea is rarely explored, or I rarely see it (probably my lack of fanfiction reading recently) and I'm glad you liked the mention.
Thank you so much for your amazing review, (and I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply). I truly appreciate it! Report Review
Oh, the tale you tell is of endings and irreversible changes! Hermione comes across as a true Gryffindor, going on despite the very real threat of having to come to terms with Ron's loss as she searches the battleground. The harsh picture you paint of two people, one who has lost the love of her life and another who has lost his conscience in circumstances not all of his making is something that every war leaves behind in its wake and yet no less poignant despite it being a war's given. I've always been fascinated by aftermath stories and this is an excellently written snapshot of the consequences of Battle of Hogwarts. Yet, you have ended it on a glorious note of hope, with a new leaflet of mending and change for both Draco and Hermione extended in your ending words.
Well done!Author's Response: Hi,
Thank you for reviewing! I really wanted to portray Hermione as the Gryffindor of the situation, as I often feel she is undervalued as being someone of bravery and courage because she is smart and that tends to be a Ravenclaw trait. I really think that there is so much more to her character than really is ever explored in the books so I really wanted to touch on that here, and I'm glad you noticed it.
I really did want to paint a harsh picture of the war, because I don't think the clean up would be easy, I think it would test them and in the end I didn't think everyone would be able to do it. Hermione and Draco always seemed to be the stronger characters in my mind, they are tested and tried and I love using that idea.
Thank you so much for your wonderful review, it's truly appreciated! Report Review
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