Omg. Just OMG *sob* *sob* *sob* Waha
This is really really sad. I love it. The story is brilliant but I'm tearing. Sorry *Sniff*
Two mistakes I found, one is "Doctor" was that deliberate or did you forget Healer? If it was deliberate no issue :) And I think James and Remus and the other two were together in the Hogwarts express in their first year. So I guess that was deliberate as well so no biggie.
I love the way you've written a whole lifetime in one little one shot perfectly. It's perfect. I mean, everything a novel would have expressed is here, only better written. So go you!
I love the emotional way you've written. I love the phases. Man I'm saying love for everything because I love everything.
Please write more of this. You're a terrific author.
*Hugs*Author's Response: Aaaah thank you so thank you! I'm so glad you liked this so much. I think just James and Sirius met on the Hogwarts Express in first year, but I could be mistaken...? Hm. Going to have to look that one up now.
I'm on the fence about the Healer/Doctor thing :/ I think my mind sees a difference between the capitalized Doctor and the uncapitalized doctor and I was assuming that Healers were all doctors even if they weren't Doctors...if that makes sense? Might have to change that, though. Good catch! :D
Thank you so very much for all of your compliments and your mistake-catching! You are awesome and I really appreciate this lovely review. Report Review
I told you I would be stalking your authorís page :P plus I always love a Remus story. And itís in Second Person! *swoons*
For the first time in your life, your problem does something good; it makes the four of you inseparable. - I got a little choked up on this line because thinking of it from Remusí perspective, after having lived a life of shame and fear of hurting others, the fact that he found friends who he could just be himself around, thatís just priceless.
Gah, I went into this story knowing I was going to tear up. Iím made to cry so easily sometimes, especially on stories about Remus. His life was so hard after the bite and he took everything on as such a heavy burden.
The concept is brilliant, absolutely brill. Iím sure that youíve been told this before in your other reviews, but I just have to say it again. I actually pulled up a chart of the phases of the moon so I could fully appreciate this story without conking out because I didnít understand what waxing gibbous meant. The story starts out with such hope and then sadness and then a bit of hope again until the final moment when itís sad and bitter.Author's Response: Stalking is fully welcome (: I was a little nervous about writing Remus so I'm so so so so glad that you enjoyed this. Yeah, Remus' life is basically one giant pity party here. Maybe I should put a BYOT (Bring Your Own Tissue) warning in the summary hehehe.
Actually, no one has actually mentioned pulling up a chart of the phases of the moon to follow along, but I'm so happy you did. I wish I could've found a way to make the phases more integrated into the story, but oh well. Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! :D You are brill. Report Review
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)
Oh. my. gosh. That was so amazing! I love your writing style so much! The way you conveyed Remus' emotion was beautiful, and the story had a wonderful flow to it. The words you used really intrigued me, and I loved how you used the phases of the moon to separate each part of the story. I thought that was really creative.
The ending *almost* made me cry, how Remus realized he was orphaning his child the moment before he died. And I just felt so sorry for him when the girl he met freaked out on him when she learned he was a werewolf. I'm actually not a huge fan of any stories that have to do with Remus Lupin (or any marauders era stories in general) but this was just too beautifully written to dislike!
All in all, an excellent and intriguing one-shot. Keep on writing, and sorry if I rambled! :P
~RosieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I really wanted to do something with the phases of the moon because they've always fascinated me, and I thought it fit Remus' life really well (for obvious reasons hah).
I know, this story is basically one massive pity party for Remus, but I'm glad you still liked it. Especially glad that you liked it if you have an aversion to Marauder-era stories. I will now attempt to convert you, just so you know ;)
Thanks again! Report Review
Oh, gosh. Remus, poor, poor Remus. My absolute favourite of the Marauders, and yet we have to punish him so harshly. This story almost made me cry. I loved how you said he met James. It was so innocent and naive, then, not knowing about Voldemort yet. Gosh, every single bit of this was absolutely wonderful and a lovely read, so well done :)Author's Response: I know! I felt really bad for him while writing this, but at least he had some happiness. Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if it almost made you cry. Report Review
Okay, I'm going to try and review this without it being just hugs and butterfly kisses (and lots of love if you got the reference).
Now I really love this one-shot. Thing is, I love Remus, I love angst, and I love it when second person is used correctly.
Mash it all up in one with beautiful imagery, and you've got me melting. Yes, melting for a story. Isn't that crazy?
The structure was genius, with each cut, I could feel the story getting darker, and it was almost as a knife cutting the words and making chills travel down my spine with each dark hole carved.
You chose the moments really well. The family's love, which I believe to be essential to a werewolf or someone going through any difficult situation, the first friend, the first love, the first broken heart and the first tragedy. It makes it all so realistic it's magic ;)
And then poor Remus thinking it is a punishment. I think I would have actually had him think of death as his liberation, and then be guilty by this feeling because of Teddy and all, but that's just a personal preference anyway.
So, did I mention I loved this? The coldness and warming, the beauty and the monster? The innocence of childhood and the outcasting of a poor soul? It's full of contrasts and it was great!
Really good job! Really enjoyed reading this Author's Response: Woohoo lots of love for me! I'm so glad you liked this so much. I've never had anyone melt for my stories, but I fully appreciate it. And I've never had anyone write such a poetic review for my story, either, so thank you for that (: Honestly, I never even considered that Remus might see his death as a liberation, but that's a really interesting idea! I think his life did get a little better at the end, with Teddy and Tonks, though, so it might've been too much angst for me to handle if he felt that way.
Hooray! I'm so happy. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Wow. This fic is... wow. I'm impressed, as you can tell from my lack of coherent language.
I'm not usually a fan of second person, but you manage to make it work and it really puts us into Remus' mind. And speaking of Remus' mind - of course he'd feel like he was being punished. His characterisation is spot on. The structure is a fantastic idea and works well too, and I could keep gushing but I'm embarrassing myself so I think I will shut up now and hope that you get actual decent reviews.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I struggled a little bit with second person, but I wanted to try something new, so I did. I'm so happy that you liked it enough for it to be gush-worthy :D And no worries, you didn't embarrass yourself at all. Thanks again! Report Review
Oh geez, I forgot how much I loved this one-shot. Remus is one of those beautifully tragic characters that just made me hope and hope and hope throughout the entire series that something good would happen to him. And you, my friend, have captured that feeling perfectly.
Every single one of these moments of his life left me with chills at the end. And even though I knew how his life ended, I still kept hoping for good things to happen.
Such a beautifully written, incredibly depressing story, haha.
(p.s. In the last sentence of Waning Crescent, the "no" should be "not". I am an awful beta for not catching that the first time. Dx )Author's Response: And I forgot how much I loved you and that awesome thing you do where you write really nice reviews for things I write :) Thank you for being awesome.
On second thought, YOU MISSED A TYPO? I take it back. Your awesomeness is revoked ;)
(I fixed it! thx) Report Review
This is...wow. It's amazing. That's all I can say. It's the first time reading second person has not bothered me or seemed strange! Good job!
~LilyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I think second person is a vastly underused point of view. Report Review
WOW! WOW! WOW! That was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC! I actually read it twice, just to make sure I took it all in properly. I love how you gave nine little stories to go with the moon phases, it was a very imaginative and well done idea! Really clever. The piece was so moving, so sad, just aboslutely perfect, I nearly cried, and I don't normally do that! This has now taken my favourite Lupin fic slot. I read loads of Lupin fics and I write them myself, but this one was really something else. It really moved me and it was just so good. You write very well and achieved so much in such a sort fic. I loved how you wrote it in the second person as well, I've never read a fic like that before, but I think that made it to be honest, made it more real and sad and cruel. 100,000,000 out of 10! Absolutely brilliant, I can't praise this fic highly enough. I take my hat of to you!!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much, but I'm sorry for nearly making you cry! I've always thought Lupin was such a difficult character to write without turning him two-dimensional, so I'm extremely flattered that you liked this so much. And no one's ever taken their hat off to me before, so thank you for that as well ;) Report Review
Wow! That was really good! I almost cried! I liked the whole concept with the diffrent phases of the moon, that was a great idea, really original!
10/10!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Report Review
This was quite beautiful! I really enjoy your works and this was no exception.
The imagery and description you manage to convey almost has a poetic feel to it, and it makes the story all the more enjoyable to read.
As far as characterizations go, I think you were spot on with Remus. There are so many times in this piece that I just wanted to hug him, but I think that's reminiscent of Remus. His life was filled with so much angst that you just want to hug him and tell him everything will be all right.
I also particularly enjoyed the fact that you made him have a girlfriend before Tonks because it seems a bit more realistic than a thirty something male never having a girlfriend in his life before he ends up married.
As far as grammar and spelling goes, I didn't pick up on any errors; but I didn't really expect to. Your pieces are generally devoid of errors, which is nice.
So, overall, I would like to say - good job!
You may have given us only snapshots of Remus' life, but when they all come together you have a clearer picture.
Not to mention, I like how you've used the phases of the moon to describe what was going on in his life, at the time. It's an original idea that I don't think I've seen anyone else attempt it before.
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I was really nervous about writing Remus so it means a lot to me that you liked my characterization of him. His life really was unfairly angsty...poor bloke ): As for the lack of errors, I have an amazing beta to thank for that, but thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed this so much! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection