MORE PLEASE! I love this story! I hope to read more of it very soon! Report Review
Please write more! I love this story! Report Review
I really like this story! Please update soon!!! Report Review
I really hope you keep writing this story, it's really good. The only criticism I have is maybe to proofread over it, but otherwise it is fantastic. Report Review
Please post more soon! This is fabulous!!! Report Review
Oooh it has a cliffhanger type ending. You want to know what the room is, why it's there.. why he asked her not to go to that part anyway.. so much drama.
I really enjoyed this story. :) It's opened up a possible interpretation of a side to Scabior that no one could ever have even considered before. He just seems to be a heartless snatcher in canon, but you've developed it into something
I still loved Hermione's ultimate sacrifice, going off with him to save Harry and Ron. The fact that she asked Dobby to save Luna as well and not herself was very poignant.
I go on about last lines in a lot of my reviews, because they really are the last thing you read, and usually tie the whole piece together. In this case it leaves us on a cliffhanger, and it makes you want to read more. I'm not sure if you're going to end up doing another chapter, but if you do I'll have to come back and read it.
Thank you so much for submitting this story into my challenge, I had fun reading and reviewing it. Good job.Author's Response: thank you i have the story done i just have to get it all validated now Report Review
Well I didn't see that one coming.
Good for Hermione though, basically sacrificing herself to save Harry and Ron. It's definitely something I could see her doing, so it's not OOC.
I couldn't help but really feel for Ron though, to suddenly feel that she's been helping them when she hasn't, just just wants to save Ron and Harry.
Also are we possibly seeing a more caring side to Scabior? It does open up new possibilities. Report Review
All makes sense now.
I've only just remembered that he wouldn't have been able to hear her.. I'm a bit slow today.. so definitely ignore part of my review on the previous chapter. :)
I like how he claims the scarf as his own sort of.. because he can smell her on it. The description of the smell also is brilliant, we sort of need that so you can imagine what he's smelling.. or try to anyway.
Brilliant work yet again.. my reviews are getting shorter, I feel awful. I'll try and give you a much longer one in the final chapter though. :) Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter also. :) There were a few spelling mistakes or typos throughout, but I don't want to go on about them too much, I just suggest you look over it and edit them.
Yet again I like the perspective switch. Seeing it from both Scabior and Hermione is a good idea, makes good reading.
I liked Hermione facing the werewolf too, from behind the magical protections. It's the sort of thing you could imagine happening with Greyback floating around, and I imagine it would be a pretty frightening experience, even if you knew it couldn't get to you.
I have one teensy tiny little point though.. which would probably throw your whole plot out of the window so ignore me if needbe.. I just feel as if I have to raise it. :D But would Hermione really tell Scabior who she was? I mean he's looking for the girl.. he wants to find her so they can get that nice amount of money, she's basically just confirmed that's where they're hiding.
Anyway just had to bring it up.. if it's completely central to your plot which I imagine it is, ignore me. It doesn't ruin the chapter, it makes it interesting all the same. :D Onwards to chapter three! Report Review
Just to let you know, I'm WolfieAli from the forums :) So as you see my name popping up on reviews across the chapters in this story, it's me and I'm writing the reviews I owe you for entering my challenge, sorry it's taken so long.
I've not actually ever bothered to read a Scabior story before, even if his character is one I find relatively interesting. I guess I've never looked at him in particular detail before, but this story is changing that, as I'm having to. :)
I like the perspective switch, going from Hermione to Scabior. You get both sides then which makes far more interesting reading.
Sorry this review is so short, there are more chapters however and it was more of an introductory one. :) Can't wait to read the next chapter. Report Review
This story has potential. There are not many stories about the snatchers and they seem to be an interesting group to look into. I like the idea behind this story. However, it does need a little more work. The first thing I noticed was the numerous grammatical and spelling errors. Many of these errors are just a simple slip of the finger on the key board. When it should have been “he” is was “she” or “her.” Whenever I write something, I find that writing it on paper and then on the computer helps me find mistakes. Using spell check can also help with finding and correcting these mistakes. Other times, these mistakes slip past spell check or re-reads, having someone else read your work really helps with correcting mistakes. Another prominent error I ran across was punctuation. Most of the time it wasn’t there or the wrong punctuation mark was used. When Hermione was pacing her room, the questions she was asking herself ended with a period, they should have ended with a question mark. Once again, re-reading or spell check can help a lot with finding these mistakes. There were also times when a random word in the sentence would be capitalized and there was no need for it to be. By fixing these mistakes, your writing will sound and look better. Not everyone is perfect at writing, best-selling authors make mistakes all the time. Keep writing. The more you write, the better your writing will become. As I said at the beginning, your story has potential and would like to see more of it. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection