Wow! Great first chapter! This is a great chapter/story and I can't wait to read more!
Emma x Report Review
Scorpius/Lucyyy ♥ Love love love. He actually seems quite sweet underneath it all. I hate you even more now :P
Poor Teddy :(
Famous last words from Scorpius? I think so...
YOU'RE SO GOOD. I'm gutted there's no more for the minute. I love these characters already and we're only five chapters in. You're such a brilliant writer, Kate ♥ Report Review
Eep, I got distracted yesterday and didn't get chance to review the last couple of chapters but I'M BACK.
I love Dom so much. She's a lunatic in the best possible way. Her dialogue is wonderful and I adore the fact that she's been arrested :P
Scorpius lingering with attractive intent ♥ How lovely.
I'm running out of things to saaay. This is exactly my kind of story and I'm really enjoying it. I'm kicking myself for not reading it earlier (I knew I'd like it) and you've got such a knack for the humour side of it.
Onwards! Report Review
I love all of these characters. They're so different and yet so obviously them. I also kind of hate you for hot Scorpius. Again. You have a bit of a knack for him. So lovely though.
I don't like/trust Willow. Or Arabella. Maybe this is a weird jealousy of their fictional relationships with fictional partners...
LOVE EEET. Report Review
DUN DUN DUN. You're so good at suspense. Even in humour. Your talent is so unfair :P
I could just ramble but I want to read on. I feel I have to say that your Dominique may be my second favourite EVER (after Jack's mentalist take on her which is pretty hard to overtake). She just comes off the page, like all your characters, and she's the kind of person I would love to be friends with (though not be related to).
ALL THE DRAMA AND SUSPENSE THOUGH. I've never been any good with mystery etc. but I love reading stories like this. Favouriting NOW.
xx Report Review
Okay, so I know these reviews are (a) months late, (b) meant to be requests but I'm just going to do some loud and short squeeing instead because I'd forgotten how much I love your writing and I just want to ramble aimlessly instead of paying attention to structured reviews etc. etc.
You have no need to worry about the humour side of things. This is brilliant. It's subtle and it did make me laugh, even from the first paragraph. Lucy's character comes off the page and even though quite a few characters were introduced, it didn't feel like I was being overloaded at all. They all sound and seem like their parents' children and I JUST LOVE IT ALL.
Can I just stop and stare for a second? When he appeared, even if he's just a few words on paper, I got all 'AAAHHH, TEDDYYY. WHY SO GORGEOUS?' and wanted him to come to life. Why can't that be possible? :(
This is (and you are) amazing ♥ Report Review
I'm really enjoying this story and all your characters! Poor Lucy always feeling so down trodden, she's more than she thinks you can see it in the small moments. Can't wait to see where you take this! Report Review
Again, I really like Lucy. And I also feel awful for her. She really has no handle on her life at all. Haha. I'm hoping to see her character to progress as the story goes on and possibly become more assertive or something, but I really like her the way she is, you've done a great job. I'm excited to find out where this is going and I liked the little cliff-hanger at the end. :) Report Review
I haven't read a lot of Rose fics until recently and this is definitely my favorite so far. I like the way you write her; it's a lot different than she seems to be usually done. I instantly liked her and I like the dynamic between her and the rest of her family. I also like the way you've switched up Teddy and Vic, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Great job, I'll be reading and reviewing this until the end. :) Report Review
Aaah! I love this story!
I never really read much stories about Lucy Weasley, so this is a new one.
Update soon! Report Review
Greta chapter - the plot thickens even further...
The cast of characters you have are great, I really like how you have developed the next gens.
Write more soon! Report Review
There are really too few Lucy Weasley stories out there, and even fewer that are actually good so I'm glad I found this. Your plot line is really good, and I like Dom as well. :) Report Review
Hey and I'm back!
Okay, I like your story so much that I don't really have anything to criticize on =P Though I'll try to make my review a bit longer now =)
This was also a really good chapter! I'm really liking the story till now. =) All the humour, the intrigue and the family dynamics. Till now you've described all your characters and have let us get to know them and now you've involved her in illegal activities. Haha, i wonder how everyone in her family would take that =P I like how you've twisted the pairings and have paired teddy up with victoire and possibly lucy and scorpius? It's different, original and unique and definitely attention grabbing..
A good job on the story and the plot =) I really enjoyed reading your story so good luck with it =) If you have any problems or questions, don't hesitate to PM me =) and thank you for requesting =)
Good luck and happy writing! =D Report Review
OMG, I did NOT see that one coming! It's brilliant! And such a unique idea too!
Plus, I am loving all the vibes between Lucy and Scorpius now! And the whole undercover operation!
Sorry, it really isn't much of a critique, but that's not even possible for something so intense and good! The thrill in this chapter was literally palpable - LOVED it. :D Report Review
It's me, back from the forums!
My. GOD. THE INTRIGUE!
What are they up to? Who is the fourth person? Who is Daniel involved? How are all the others involved? Why is Teddy so harassed half the time? What does he want from Lucy? Why did he and Victoire break up? SO MANY QUESTIONS! :/
So glad I didn't have to wait for chapter 3 though...hehe ;)
I REALLY liked this chapter, though! It maintains it's air of girly, dry humour, but it still ups the ante and makes for a VERY interesting read. Anyone with an ounce of brain cells would want more! :D
Miss Apocalypse approves. -nods appreciatively- Carry on the good work, hun. :) Report Review
Hey, it's apocalypse from the forums, finally here with your review! :)
Alrighty then. Can I just say I loveloveLOVE this? It sets up the perfect beginning for a story; is highly amusing; and lifted my fml-and-OMG-college-will-end-up-killing-me-one-of-these-days right up! :D
About the characters? I LOVE how you've portrayed them! You've stepped away from the norm of painting over Percy's children to be exactly like him and Rose to be a perfect image of all the best qualities in both parents combined and I LOVE that! Also, Dom and Lucy's girlfriend moments and Teddy are terrific!
DEF ranked among cool chick-lit! :D
10/10 for the perfect chick-lit kick-off! Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Sorry for its lateness...
I'm really enjoying reading your story. I think you've definitely created realistic and lovable characters, Lucy especially. It's interesting to read from the perspective of someone who's not great at everything, or even anything. She's struggling to find her way in the world and is constantly being unfavourably compared with her cousins.
The family dynamics are interesting- Teddy was going out with Victoire, who broke up with him, and is now going out with Rose- only he might not be because Lucy has never seen them kiss or do anything "romantic". Lucy's best (and possibly only) friend Dominique (sister to Victoire) stalks Teddy out of unrequited love. Interesting and a little confusing (in an hilarious and good way). The way you're weaving this huge backstory in is really well done- you don't have paragraphs describing it, instead you show it in little comments in the regular dialogue.
As well, your plot is original and one that I have no idea where it will go. I certainly wasn't expecting when I started reading this story for Lucy to get involved in an illegal potion-making business... Your beginning was great- you set a foundation for the rest of the story instead of jumping right into the action. It gave me the chance to know your characters before you put in the first big twist.
As for your humour, I liked it. It's not the laugh-out-loud, constantly cracking jokes type of humour, but instead a more subtle kind- funny observations and the daily upsets of life- Lucy is a funny narrator and Dominique adds another dose of "funny" to the story through her own particular brand of love, her rants and her stories of her past. You've done a great job with that.
Your story flows really well from chapter to chapter and it didn't drag at all. The only thing I noticed was in the forth chapter- wouldn't Scorpius already know what Lucy had bought, since he had given her the list? Though perhaps he said it to give himself a reason to apparate Lucy away...
Overall this was a really enjoyable read and it looks like it will only get better! I hope my comments are helpful and thanks for requesting a review! Report Review
Again, this is great! I love your characters and how you've set every thing up. Your plot seems interesting and the way your writing this makes the reader want to keep reading. I really have no complaints to mention. You've even done well with the caracters. They're so well rounded and believable :)
~LilyAuthor's Response: hey lily
thank you so much hun. i'm so pleased you're enjoying this - it's such a bizarre story to write. i am still undecided about how this will all end! I'm so pleased you like my characters!
xx Kate Report Review
I think you've set everything up nicely with this chapter. You've given the main plot points and left me wanting to know what's going to happen next. Lucy seems like a great character and I love her. The story flows well and I think its great!
~LilyAuthor's Response: thank you so much lily. i'm pleased you're enjoying it so far and everything seems to be working out!
Kate xx Report Review
Wow, so now that some more has been revealed...just wow! You've completely made me do like, a u-turn! What they're doing is really rather good, inspiring, in fact. And you made them out to be bad! :P
I think its fantastic the way you've brought OC's in, and they feel so natural, too. Like Willow. I mean, I can picture her so clearly, just from the way you've described her. Her hair, falling 'majestically', her slim shoulders, the way she tilts her head...almost childlike and very delicate. And that was within, what, two lines? Your writing is literally magical. And, its not even just the OC's...all of them have so much to them, its something I'm quite enviable of! :P
Every character has so much depth to them, and I'm kind of getting an eerier edge to this story, despite the honest first 2 chapters. The 'lurking', the dark room...its all very mysterious. You build the atmosphere so effectively; its something you've got to be proud of :) I feel like I can really see every scene, and so I'm swept up, just like Luce is.
A wonderful story :) L xxxAuthor's Response: thank you so much! i find OC's terribly difficult at times - i never quite know what to do with them, so your comments about willow are really appreciated.
i am so happy you are enjoying the characters - i am having such fun writing them! thank you so much for all your wonderful comments and i hope you continue to enjoy it!
Kate xx Report Review
Ahh! What is going on! How and WHY is Dan involved in all of this? So many unanswered questions!
I thought this chapter was really lovely. I think I am forever in love with the way you can just about handle any genre, but also because this fic is so carefree, and yet...soo tense, too! Lucy is adorable, because she just kind of mediates the whole atmosphere of this. While Dom is a little nosy and likes to know whats going on, Lucy kinda calms her down...or gets swept up in it :P I guess that's debatable!
I really like your unique take on the family relationships, as I said before. The way theres this pre-existing friction is really cool, especially with Rose. I'm not sure if I like her or not. Teddy, too, seems utterly flawless, but then there's that edge to him, too...it's really cool to have all of this going on at once, maintained by your awesome writing style, your kind of care-free breeze.
Despite the tone of it though, its obvious big things are going to happen. This is very realistic and down to earth (like, the way you keep us updated on the Hogwarts interview haps, and the way Lucy is linked to Dan through that blummin' awful date!) and so through this, I kind of get the impression that for all of these people to meet, like Scorpius, Ted, Louis etc, its all very coincidental, but not naffly done either. It's as though Lucy and Dom know its weird (I'm sure you've read fics too where everyone seems to be miraculously up to speed...), and so that so brushes off on us!
I love the tone, atmosphere, humour of this story. It's all just brilliant, and makes it such a good story to read. Can't wait to see what unfurls! L xxxAuthor's Response: i love questions. questions are gold. i think if a reader doesn't have questions - big or small - by the end of a chapter then i have messed something up.
carefree and tense? that just about sums up how i feel when writing it, cause it is so different to anything i have done before.
i love writing lucy and dom together! dom is such fun! she is sort of the girl lucy wants to be, but without all the drama, lol.
thank you. i like writing family dynamics and sometimes it can get away from me, especially with such a family as this. it's kind of good that you're not sure how you feel about rose and teddy at the moment.
thank you darling. i am so happy you're enjoying this and that everything seems to be working out so far!! i really appreciate the lovely reviews!
Kate xx Report Review
Hey! I'm ever so sorry about the long wait for these reviews - real life, back to school etc etc, has been so hectic!
My first impressions of this chapter are like, pretty much 100 percent positive! It's quirky, funny and really fresh, yet there's this intriguing edge to it as well. I love the way you've introduced every background to the characters really well, kind of in passing, but in detail enough for it to stick in my mind. One issue I always feel like I have when reading next gen stuff is that a lot of the relationships are different in every one I read, so keeping up is a bit of a problem, because there is such a large scope of creativity that goes hand in hand with the era. But with yours, I wasn't at all daunted. Right from the beginning I felt like I knew Lucy and so the things, the encounters with other characters, they kinda made more sense :)
I love the way Lucy has really obvious flaws but yet somehow, through your writing and the way you still describe the little things, giving a lovely bright picture, you can see she has a heart of gold. She's kind of just a witness to everything that's unfolding, just like we are, and I think this perspective is really unique. Another touch I really liked was the way the whole layout of the fic is kind of rough-edged, not quite perfect. The title, in lowercase, is really cool, as is the chapter numbers, the way you've just got '1', y'know, not 'One' or anything. The little things :)
I really really loved everything about this, right from the first paragraph...it was all so unique and enjoyable. It's gonna be really cool to see where you take this, because every character is ever so detailed and there's so much more you can explore with, so many possibilities whirling around in my head right now!
L xxxAuthor's Response: wow, what an amazing review darling! i hardly know what to say! i will start with a big THANK YOU!!
next, i will tell you not to apologise - i feel bad that it has taken me so long to respond!
wow, what an incredible compliment! thank you so much. i am awed by that! i agree with you about the next gen thing - i love reading it but i can get lost in all the characters too.
you have lucy pegged! she really is just standing by watching life go past at the moment - she is a witness to the craziness of everyone around her and just happens to be completely accident prone at the same time, lol.
thank you so much! i really appreciate this wonderful review!!
Kate xx Report Review
Seems interesting so far... I'm excited to read the rest. (:
~KhanhAuthor's Response: thank you - i hope you continue to enjoy it! thanks for reading. Report Review
:O :O :O :O
Did not see that coming.
I LOVE IT
and maybe it's just the action movie type music playing in this coffee shop right now, but this chapter had such a great tone to it! All very illicit and exciting.
I can't wait to see what comes next!
I'm adding this to my favourites. RIGHT NOW. Because Kate - this is brilliant. I adore it.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
request more reviews as you update. Because I'll never remember to check back on a regular basis.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
ShilohAuthor's Response: yay for action music, lol! this chapter was fun to write, as was the next one actually! i am so happy you like it!!! i don't know what else to say darling except for thank you for these lovely reviews!! i really appreciate it!
I shall throw some more requests at you!
Kate xx Report Review
I'm glad there's another chapter up :D
And I'm hoping it picks up right after this one because I REALLY want to know who the fourth person is.
THEY'RE DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL AREN'T THEY?
I approve :P
Again, Kate, so well written. You've captured your characters and their lives so well. I think what makes this story so awesome is the interactions between them. You make it complicated, as life is, without word vomit/abuse. And it's so well done. LOVE IT ♥
ShilohAuthor's Response: hahahahah illegal? they might be...
thank you sweetie! i'm so pleased you're still enjoying it, especially the character interaction. i'm trying for something a little different with this, not so much gloom and doom, lol.
so happy you like it!!
Kate xx Report Review
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