WOW! I just loved this one shot! It was short but I liked that in it and it worked really well. I love your description, it is amazing! It was so cute how you described Lily's 'fleeting glances' and I think this worked really well to create the lust but also the laid back fluffy narrative voice of this story! The flow was good, as was the grammar and spelling. I don't think there is anything I would change, well done. :)
Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa xAuthor's Response: Yay! You're spoiling me with compliments XD
Thank you so much:)
Merry Christmas! Xx Report Review
This is cute and seems just so James, I love how he says he won't give up and she will give in eventually. He is so determined even at the age of thirteen.
It was nice to hear why James loved her and to have him mention how his friends have questioned him. It's strange to think that he's loved her since thirteen and knew she was for him when most boys that age, probably don't love the same person when they're a little older.
I really like your take on this and I think you wrote it wonderfully.
Alicia and anne
SlytherinAuthor's Response: Thank you! :') and sorry for taking so long to respond! My laptop broke, so no hpff for like two months! -cries- but i'm back now ^^ And I pride myself on being able to characterise James I so thanks :') thank you for all of your beautiful comments :) -NeverGotHerLetter x Report Review
I just got the chills. This story was absolutely adorable, written so well, and had a great idea behind it! You were perfect in every portion, and the overall story was absolutely great! :D
James's character was perfect. He sounded thirteen, which is something I think people forget about a lot. Characters can sound like poets a lot, but you didn't do that with James. It was still written really well though, and his thoughts came out perfectly!
I loved this! 10/10
NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you, all of those compliments just gave me the chills!
I'm so glad you say that; I totally pride myself on being James-crazy, and getting his character right really means alot ^^ yeah, I thought about writing for the age alot; it really annoys me when some people (as brilliant a writer they can be) write sixteen year olds as being like fifty.. they should go for adult character IMO :)
thank you thank you thank you!
-chloe xxx Report Review
Aaah, this is too freaking cute! Darn my Lily/James shipping heart for geting so caught up in thes fanfics! This is so sweet and James is amazing! *Sighs* why can't he be real? :(
Oh, I also love that you used Gaspard Ulliel (the guy on the banner) as James. He is perfect!
Much love from a fellow Lily/James lover/shipper/writer!
-Hermione x x xAuthor's Response: Hey, what're fanfics for if not to get caught up in ;) Thank you! I know.. if he were real.. uuhh he would totally be mine
Thanks :D he's like james (one and two) reincarnated for me ^^
Much love right back at ya!
Thank you! x Report Review
Loved this! Twas so cute. I love the fleeting glances idea, it's really... cute. I'm sorry, normally I'd have better words, but I'm running on 3 hours of sleep, so I'm a little short on vocab words. It was light, but it had that deep meaning to it that we J/L shippers all adore. 10/10!!! Added to faves :)Author's Response: Don't worry, I don't have an enormous vocab on three hours of sleep either XD thank you, and nice to meet another j/l shipper! thanks! Xxx Report Review
Aww... can you say fluff? No, but this was good. Small, but good. Like those mini m&m packs. I like how you can James is an evil stubborn little beast, with his evil munchkin attitude. He defenitely sounds like a teenage boy, with his launguage. Overall, I liked it. I wish it was longer, but it's that short for a reason.
9/10 (because I wanted more).
~changingfaces, or Ifthiswasamovie.Author's Response: Teehee, thank you :D Yeah I know, he's so stubborn XD I'm glad you like the way I write him as he's my favourite to write :D I might do a little one shot as an after-one-shot? But I don't know yet, I need to update :D
Thank you!! x Report Review
So sweet, I love James. You've really captured the sorts of feelings and thoughts that canon James would have had for Lily.
Then again, she might think I'm just a freak. Being thirteen and totally in love with a girl is kind of freaky I guess: I love these line.
and this line: Who knows how and why they fall in love anyway?
NellAuthor's Response: I love him too :) Thank you :D
Teehee thanks :)
Chloe xx Report Review
It's cute. It's a really lovely story, and I think you've captured James and his affection perfectly. Its so...poetic, almost. It's really cute, but it's beautiful too...Really I think you've done an amazing job.
~LilyFireAuthor's Response: Thank you :) James is my favourite, so I'm glad you think I captured him well :) Poetic? You're the second person to say that! Thank you! ^__^ Xx Report Review
Okay! Sorry it took me a bit to get this, i live on a farm in the middle of no where so we don't get the best internet =D
But onwards with the story, i wanted to say first off that i thought this has a really sweet and poetic tone to it that i really like. It is simple though, the wording and the phrases they aren't flowery or full of imagery and i think it reflects James' personality well. He seems like a direct and to the point person and i felt like that really showed in this story.
I had to listen to the song and loved how you integrated some of the phrases and wording into the story itself, it was very lovely and felt like this was the perfect pairing for that song! Very cute!
This phrase seemed a little awkward when i read it, it may be just me though but i felt like it should either have a comma before the 'whatever it takes' or have that phrase at the beginning.
"But I do know that I have to get her to love me back whatever it takes."
But i really liked the rest of the story and i think you were spot on in capturing James' feelings for Lily at that age. I also liked how you spoke of Sirius' feelings for her and it gave her a less than perfect angle as Lily has always seemed like this elusive perfect character sometimes and with those few words i felt like she was brought down to earth!
One last comment, i really loved your ending, sometimes, for me, it's hardest thing to write a snappy closing sentence but i think you did a wonderful job! 10/10 =DAuthor's Response: That's ok, it was definitely worth the wait! Ooh, I'd love to live on a farm! :D
Thank you! James is my favourite character to write, so I'm glad you think I did him justice :)
Thanks :D I really tried hard to make it quite similar and when I read the lyrics, I knew I had to write a James fic!
Yeah, there should be a comma there, I'll edit it in :)
Awesome, I'm glad you think so! And yes, I always imagined that Sirius wouldn't be too keen on her... plus, I hate it when people make Lily perfect! She's actually quite horrible!
Thank you, I love writing the endings but they are really hard! Thank you so much! ~NGHL Xx Report Review
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