Hi, BrightStar here with your review!
I really like this and can't wait to read more. Hugo and Scorpius are so cute!
Just one thing, I think, its tiny. Just normally one would say "three quaters! instead of "Three fourths". That's it really though. Well, apart from the fact Scorpius is supposed to be two years older, but obviously that's up to you.
Elizabeth - lovely name, I like how Lily defended it. I don't have much to say since you're only starting this up, but I think it could be a really interesting story. I liked how both the parents and children were given a voice.
Good luck with the story, and i'd be happy to review more :)Author's Response: Technically...It doesn't say how much older Scorpius is than Hugo =D Only Lily. Hehe. I find loop holes like that. I'm glad that you liked it, though. And I have no clue why it says Three-Fourths, hehe, I must have messed up in there and didn't fix it. Anyways, thank you so much for your review :D Very much apriciated and loved! Report Review
So, I really liked this. Hugo is just so cute and absolutely made the chapter.
This was not the way I expected you to go with the challenge haha. I was dreading a Dramione about them getting a kitten or something like that haha.
The flow was good, there are some grammatical errors you may want to look into though. Just read your story aloud and you should catch them :D
I love it and I cant wait to read on. Put a comment on my profile or post the the challenge topic when the next chapter's validated.
This was great :D
ErinColleenAuthor's Response: Of course =D Thank you! I'm glad that you like it!!! Very glad :) I can't wait to upload the next chapter. Report Review
Ok, I think that the idea for this plot is quite a sweet one so far - Hugo and Scorpius, who normally would have almost no connection, bond over cat love :) It's really cute, and I think that it does make you want to read on to see how they will go about the whole friendship thing when they are ao different.
Hugo's character hasn't got much of a look at yet, but so far, he seems quite like his mum, with his cat love and more gentle side. I hope we get to find out more about him, through his thoughts and actions.
Draco and Hermione's short conversation seemed very polite as well, but almost friendly, as if they saw each other quite often. I don't know if it was meant to be like that or not, but y'know :)
The details, when they're put n, are really nice, and I think you should have more description in future chapters too.
So good job!
~TGKAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review. I wasn't sure abouthis one. I wrote it all out on paper, and it sonded so much better there. But, I'm guessing it was just me? Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection