Reading Reviews for Beautiful Dawn
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lizmusic45 High

8th September 2011:
Oh my gosh! I was personally never that big of Rose and Scorpius shipper, I didn't disagree with it. I just never cared about it.

Then I read your one-shot, and it's people like you that convince me that this paring is actually good. I love how you wrote this.

For some reason I thought this was just fantastic, you write so well. I love Rose, and I love Scorpius. I love the song, I'm looking it up ask I review.

It's by James Blunt right?

Oh well amazing story, I can't wait to read another one of your stories :)

Lizzie :)

Author's Response: oh wow thank you!!!

it is by james blunt, love that song! glad you like them now, i have another about them called "who has to know" :D


thank you!


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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap High

3rd August 2011:
Oh wow, that was beautiful. I loved it, the emotion was just perfect and the characterization. This is by far one of the best one-shots I have ever read.

Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you so much, I'm really happy you like it! Thank you for reading and reviewing x

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Review #3, by ob sessed High

21st July 2011:
Hi yoouuu! of course it's me, preeah from the forums, duh :) here finally with your review (sorry for the super long delay) and I have to say wow! I absolutely one hundred and ten percent loved this story, the characterisation, the pain, the feelings; they were all so realistic! I can't even began to gush over how much I adore the premise for this story because as much as I love ScoRose fanfics, the cute fluffy ones, this is much more realistic... and if JK Rowling ever wrote a sequel about the next-gen and about ScoRose, I would imagine this would be how their love would have turned out. It makes me want to read your other fanfic too! I have nothing to critique you on and all I can say is thank YOU for writing something wonderful for me to read (and love). Amazing, great job, luv!! xxx

Author's Response: hi! awww thanks so much preeah, what a lovely review! I'm really glad you liked it :D xxx

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Review #4, by BillieCottonhouse High

11th July 2011:
nawww Scorpius!
I think it's absolutely perfect the way you had them breaking up underneath that tree in the rain, and I also loved one of your last paragraphs where you described his parents' emotions as they watched him get married.
Having them 32 years old when they get married also seems to make sense for this couple I love Rose and Scorpius!
Good work :)

Author's Response: awww thanks so much! really glad you liked it that much! :D

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Review #5, by LovelyMioneWeasley High

16th May 2011:
Hi there BrightStar!!

LMW here with your requested review!! I was so glad to see you requested since you’d been sweet enough to leave me such nice reviews. I thought it was only fair to be able to give you one back.
Goodness gracious, the amount of warmth and fuzzy feelings I got from this little one shot; all the way through, I was smiling wider and wider.

First though, I just wanted to address some nitpicky things—you misspelled occurred, suppressed, and forgot a quotation for “Wotters.” Other than that, I didn’t see any other grammatical issues; I’ve seen Wizarding World be capatilised and lower case so that tends to vary by author; I’d go with whatever JKR did though myself. I also believe she capatlised Apparation though.

Now onto Scorpius and Rose. Dangit, they are so sweet; some people are hardcore fans and just predict them being together. I loved that you had them wait AND break up after Hogwarts. You entertained the idea of forbidden romance that so many Scorose one-shots have; I also think that it is more realistic for them to wait so long and mature.

I also liked the fact that you didn’t have much dialogue (only one line if I read correctly). I think that the effectiveness of using Scorpius’ reflecting as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was very powerful and lovely to read about. I also liked the third person perspective and the sweet tone of it.

I think that the song lyrics added to it and were well placed. Overall, fantastic job. And I hope you do well in your challenge!!

LMW

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this!

Great points, epecially on Wizarding World and Apparation - I'll have to watch out for them in future!

Aww thanks, glad you liked Scorpius and Rose. Its tempting to put them together in school and say "Happily ever after", but it wasn't realistic for them, expecially the way i wrote them in "Who Has to Know?"!

I'm not a great dialog writer, so I'm glad the description worked well! And I'm delighted you liked the reflection in the mirror thing.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!


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Review #6, by CrazyForYou High

15th May 2011:
I'm really loving your one-shots! A couple years ago I couldn't stand one-shots because I felt like there was never enough development to make it a story, but I feel like you have the ability to develop characters through individual snapshots of their lives. Well done!

You've got a couple of awkward sentences/phrasing, but not a big deal:
A part of him dawned. - I wasn't sure what to make of this sentence. It didn't really make sense in the way I think you wanted it to. Maybe expand more on what dawned or what that means.

These would be the people that would grow up and inherit their world, discrimination of blood and against those who had aligned themselves with the wrong side during the war eradicated, with any hope for good. - I think I understand what you're going for here, but it doesn't really make sense. This sentence is wordy and kind of convoluted because there is no clear subject, verb, object structure.

I really enjoyed this story. I think the back-story to this relationship between Scorpius and Rose is sweet.

If anything I would have liked more of the comparisons to be drawn between the different generations through showing, rather than telling. I liked the part where you mentioned how the kids wouldn't care who had gotten married because they didn't live by the divisiveness of the past, I think that was a powerful indicator of how the times had changed.

I liked the incorporation of something old, new, borrowed and blue, but I wish there could have been 4 things as opposed to 3 (just for tradition's sake) and maybe that it had been described more subtly.

The addition of more "Wotters" was clever, I think it's an additional touch that made the story seem that much more believable.

The James Blunt lyrics were a wonderful addition as well, reflecting a lot about the way the characters were feeling and just the overall mood of the story.

Very well done!

Author's Response: Wow, what a lovely review!

So glad you liked my one shots, and Scorose. Great points on the showing/telling thing, I'll have to watch that, and maybe change the borrowed/blue etc thing!

So glad you liked the new "Wotters", I hoped it wouldnt come accross as irrelevant, the same with the song!

Thank you!


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Review #7, by watchtherainfall High

15th May 2011:
Having not read the other piece, I liked the fact that this could stand on its own without me being confused during reading. I liked how believable it was -you did not make everything into this happy-the war is over and everyone is all sunshines and rainbows which makes things normal. I liked Scorpius and his characterization - it makes him easier to connect to him. There are so many stories where the Malfoys come out looking well and proper, as if they had never done anything wrong and as if Scorpius wasnt affected by anything his family had done. In a weird sort of way, his bitterness shows that his life is flawed and makes him connectable. There were a few grammar mistakes in there but like most stories, there always are. The use of the song was well done and flowed quite well. I dont really know if it was necessary for the lyrics to be in there, but it was a nice addition. It was a wonderful story! 9/10. Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! THanks for this! So glad you liked how I dealt with the aftermath of the war, i hate when its glossed over! so sorry about the grammar! Lyrics were probably unnesscessary, but the fic was inspired by the song and i thought i should pay tribute to it! thanks a million!

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Review #8, by NaidatheRavenclaw High

14th May 2011:
Hello! Naida here with your requested review!

I loved this story! Gah, it was so wonderful! I love fluffy romance and this was fluffy romance done well! It was so sweet! It made my heart melt.

I really liked how you did this from Scorpius's perespective. A lot of people are concerned about the bride on a wedding day, but no one really thinks about what the groom must be feeling. I also liked how Scorpius didn't change at Hogwarts. I'm glad he and Rose got together after Hogwarts, because I think that kept your back story from falling into all the Scorose cliches.

If you had any proofreading errors, they didn't distract from the story, because I couldn't pick any up. Generally, I think that if I don't see errors at first glance, there's no need to hunt for them, because they really only matter if they're distracting, and you had none of those so good job on that.

One small problem with this. I'm a bit confused as to when they actually got married. You didn't have a mention of a ceremony in there. It seemed as though you went straight from pre ceremony to reception. I think just a paragraph in there saying that they actually got married would clear that up perfectly though. You don't necessarily need to elaborate a ton.

Just fix that one thing up, and I think the story is pretty perfect! Good luck with your challenge! If quality of writing has anything to do with it, you have a great chance! Loved the story, super cute, excellent job!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Awww thanks so much! Sorry, that is causing some confusion, they are already married at this point, this is their first dance after the ceremony.

So glad you liked Scorpius and his "journey", I thought that was more realistic. Really, who knows a mature 17 year old? (I'm saying this as a super immature 19 year old...)

Thanks so much, your reviews have been really sweet and helpful! :D


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Review #9, by charlottetrips High

14th May 2011:
charlottetrips from the Forums here with your review!

I did as instructed and listened to “High” by James Blunt while reading the story! :) It was a beautiful soundtrack to go along with this sweet story.

There were a few grammatical and spelling errors which you can catch if you look over it again. A couple specific lines are:

*They had gotten [a] together secretly in their fifth year; though most of the younger [“]Wotters” found out sooner or later.

*angry [and] the father who didn’t fight back - [at]

The part where you describe how Rose healed Scorpius was beautiful. The emotion contained in such simple words was astounding.

I think that there should be a little bit more description or acknowledgement of the wedding ceremony as I was a little confused if they had gotten married or not as you mention the engagement ring as “something new” and don’t mention the married part until the last few paragraphs. I hope that was understandable but if not, then just PM me.

I really liked how you took up the viewpoints of the lingering effects of the War on the NextGen as well as the Trio-era adults. Sometimes, I have seen in stories that this bit of reality is just honeyed over when really it is like you describe it: old ones not wanting to change, the parents sort of okay but not really and the NextGen having to deal with these prejudices. Your point of the kids of the NextGens not really caring about any of that was something that I could totally see and agree with.

Overall, this summarizes the Rose/Scorpius relationship marvelously with the pressures of the young to deal with the effects of their elders’ actions but the overcoming of such obstacles to reach for the love and happiness they know is there. The back and forth of his memories was very smooth to me and flowed quite well. And of course, the song was perfect!

x Char

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for listening to the song, i think it does lend something to the fic! Thanks, I'll make sure to edit those mistakes! The wedding cermony, when it took place etc is causing a bit of confusion, sorry. They had JUST gotten married, this is the reception after the ceremony :)

So glad you liked how i tied it into the war and everything, that was really important to me in writing this!

tHank you!! :D


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Review #10, by In The Shadows I Dwell High

13th May 2011:
This one-shot has captured everything I love about Rose/Scorpius and more. You've also achieved this in a way I've never seen done before - with a wedding! Perhaps what I love most about this particular one-shot is the sense we can gather about the continuing issues which arose with Voldemort's rise to power, and the divide which formed between many of the characters such as Draco and Harry based upon this and how in time this has mended somewhat. It is interesting in a sense that you've portrayed three different levels of this, firstly the grandparents being unable to accept Rose and Scorpius together, their parents, who are on relatively good terms with each other and then Rose and Scorpius themselves who are essentially beginning a whole new era. I cannot even begin to describe how brilliant this insight into the minds of these characters, particularly coming from Scorpius's perspective is, as he really seemed to be a great character to see this scene through the eyes of.

Another thing I loved about this was the mention of Draco and how Scorpius had never thought of his suffering. It seems as though to me that he wouldn't have simply been able to move on from everything without another thought, I always imagined his actions as something that would haunt him for the rest of his life and you've really managed to capture one of the possibilities as to how exactly he might have dealt with his own demons. I also love how Scorpius himself reacts to others, in particular Rose and I have to say his love for her is very sweet.

Your writing was excellent the entire way through, the story flowed nicely from paragraph to paragraph, particularly with so many characters being introduced, so well done! It was also brilliant how you've tied in the Battle of Hogwarts as an ending, and the wedding itself as a new beginning, this really captured my attention right from the very beginning!

I loved this, and keep up the excellent work!

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, what a review!

You really got what I wanted to say here about Scorpius/Rose and the wider society in heneral! I honestly don't know what to say to this lovely review, except that it really meant a lot!

Thank you!! :D


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Review #11, by leannemariesnape High

13th May 2011:
Awww. I love this. It is so adorable!
I think I am basically in love with your one-shots :D
I think that you characterise the whole end of the "post-war" really well and It's also good that Scorpius and Rose weren't still together from Hogwarts- that they had time apart, making the fic seem realistic.
The song was well incoporated into the fic.
I honestly can't find anything to suggest for improvement. I did have to re read who some of the characters were, but, I think if you've read your other fics, it wouldn't be a problem... Plus it adds to the whole feel at a wedding of having all of your loved ones in the same place, so it's not an issue. :)
Leanne

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this!
Haha I'm so glad you liked them. The post war thing was really important to me, so I'm glad that worked out! It was hard breaking Scorpius and Rose up for even a little amount of time, so I'm glad it was worth it in that it made it realistic :D
Yeah Eva is in others, still just aminor character but in future fics she gets the spotlight. Sorry for the confusion! :D
Hehe thanks a million! :D


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Review #12, by peace2lovepotter High

13th May 2011:
Aw, this is so cute! I love Sco/Ro their amazing together, aren't they? 10/10 :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! Yeah I love them so much! Really happy you liked it :)

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