Oh the Lauren jib hurt a little on the pride but I like the story so far. James isn't the typical male whore and Annette isn't anything like a the drawling girls he's usually stereotyped as falling for. It's refreshing to find such deeply complex female teenage characters like her.Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, Birdie. That was what I was going for. Report Review
I love this story!!
It's so nice to have a proper love story, something that could actually happen in real life. It makes such a nice change.
I really can't wait to read more of your work.Author's Response: I'm glad you are enjoying it. It was a fun story to write! Report Review
aaw cute ending! :) and I'm really glad about the way it ended.. the story reminded me of the book One Day and I was scared it'd end similar to that :/ didn't like that at all...
But as I said, great ending, liked it a lot! :) great work :)Author's Response: It was never intended to be anything but a happy and fluffy story unlike One Day, which was still an excellent story.
Thank you for your wonderfully nice review. Report Review
Oh, I can't believe it's over! I have really enjoyed this story, all the way through. I love the skipping timeline that shows all the most significant parts of their lives. And I love love love Annette and James together; they are adorable, even when they fight about rings. :P
The ending wasn't fluffy or overdone, you're right, but it was still gorgeous and cute and "pretty perfect". Thanks, I've really enjoyed this story!Author's Response: I'm very glad you enjoyed it and that the ending worked for you. I tried really hard to find some satisfying ending so this was what I finally decided on. Report Review
Hello, Linds dearest!!
So what I really liked about this beginning was the cliches. You grabbed them by the throat and like putty in your hands, moulded them into believable occurences. The mix-up about the tutoring was an especially clever touch ;). The entire chapter had a really good flow to it, there weren't any jarring bits. You mentioned that you really worked hard on the dialogue and it shows, there's a large amount of improvement compared to your earlier work. The relationships were nicely established and well-defined. I'm still getting a feel for the characters but I like the immaturity you infused them all with. James and Annette had a great rapport going, it was believable and realistic. I won't say chemistry because it'd be too soon but I can definitely see tiny sparks between them. The end caught me off guard, which is great, a little unpredictability never hurt anyone. All in all, a wonderful beginning and I'm excited to see where it goes :).
Hugs and hot chocolate,
MistyAuthor's Response: MISTY!!!
Lo, lo, lo siento for being so late with a response. Christmas time came and it just rushed on by.
D'awww, thank you for your lovely and encouraging comments. I was hoping to jar those cliches and turn them into more realistic occurances. Contrary to the rom-com world, my most successful relationships have been friendships that turned into more. I hope the chemistry grows as you come around to read some more ;)/
I love you.
Hugs, hot cocoa, and Remus Lupin,
Lindsey Report Review
aaah I just had to start reading this story when it ends at a cliffy D: haha Such a cute proposal! I really love this and the relationship that has continually developed between James and Annette! I can't wait for your next chapter! :DAuthor's Response: Thanks dear for the sweet, sweet review. Sorry you got caught up with the cliffie but hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. It'll most likely be the last or second to last. Report Review
awwh. cutest propasal ever! i absolutely love James to bits now. please update soon. i want to see what Annette says!Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it. Creative proposals are my favorites to do! Report Review
aw that was so sweetAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! Report Review
I love this story, for some reason it reminds me of the movie 'Definitely Maybe' I really love it! I hate how you ended this chapter though!! Cliffie much?! Update soon! (:Author's Response: I've never seen the movie but I'll definitely have to see it sometime soon. And it was quite a cliffie, huh ;) Report Review
fhsdal;ghsldfjl YOU WOULD. ah this is so cute. i love it so much. please please please update super soon. i have to know how this goes. i just love james and annette so much.Author's Response: I would, wouldn't I? Report Review
James, James! Marry ME! PLEASE. I'M BEGGING YOU!
This story is too cute!!
I love it! Update soon, I hope they get married! :D
1000/10Author's Response: Bahahahahahaha. I want James myself ;). I really liked writing this chapter and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Aw this is so sweet! They are lovely together :DAuthor's Response: Well thank you so much for your nice review! Report Review
Brill chapter they're soo cute togetherAuthor's Response: Awww thank you. I'm glad you like them. Report Review
Hmm, this was interesting so far. I just want to see a bit more of the Weasleys besides Roxanne and Fred... But otherwise it was pretty good. (:
~KhanhAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your opinion; they will come in as time goes on. Report Review
Whoopsy-do! Never reviewed this story! Sorry :)
Well, I just have one thing to say really. I love it. Honestly, it's a really great short story collection. I never really liked those, but this one is just awesome. And I love James/OC, so that makes it even better ;)
It's fluffy, it's funny, it's realistic, it's cute, it's original, it's REAL, it's great. You've created great characters and you've characterized them all very well.
Your writing is really very good all the time, and although I rarely like reading fanfiction in second person, for some reason, when reading this story, I just start to love it :) I wouldn't have changed it in any way :).
I like how you don't completely make James out to be cliche. To be totally arrogant, and completely self-obsessed and perfect. He's got feeling and emotions and inesecurities like every other human being. Seriously, it's great! I also love how Amelia isn't cliche either. Yes, she's pretty and confident, but she has her defaults too. And that's what makes them seem so much more real, to me :)
I would not change one single thing about this story. It's pure fluffiness, and it just makes you smile when you read it, because you just KNOW that everyone will be happy in the end :)
Till next time!
xxx sofia :)Author's Response: Oh Sofia, don't worry about it. I'm sorry for such a late reply! Over a month >.< but I blame school 'cause that always works hahaha.
I'm so glad you are enjoying this! I'm just completely overwhelmed and flattered by your sweet, sweet review. It really boosts my ego as a writer to know I'm doing something right. The thing about this story that I was aiming for was making it more realistic. I'm a fluffaholic to the end and I tend to make unrealistic stories as such so to know that you DON'T think it is cliche is awesome for me!
James has become a fun guy to write and Annette is really a hard cookie to crack-she's sassy yet relaxed and confident yet still self-conscious. It's been a hard balance to achieve and everyone is going to be happy in the end! That's the point--for you to smile once you read it :)
LMW Report Review
YES! They kissed! This is perfect! :)Author's Response: Yes they did. Finally! Hahah it was fantastic--glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
awfjsdkl;gh;saldfj. so good. please update soon!Author's Response: Smashing and I'll try to! Report Review
super cute. i can't wait until they get together!Author's Response: You'll have to keep reading for that to happen ;). Report Review
Gosh this story is just adorable!
The wedding scene was really cute and relatable. I was just in a wedding and I know how stressful they are (luckily our bride and groom practiced their dance). But I love how you brought back Train and made it their song :)
I also enjoyed the conversation between Fred and James. It was a really good way to explain and add depth to the relationship while getting an outsider's opinion of Annette and James' relationship. And it's nice to see how James progressively is noticing Annette more and more. You've been doing an excellent job with that. As the chapters continue I feel like the amount of times James notices Annette increases. And the whole "Jealousy had always been one way to catch the attention of a Weasley or Potter." was one of my favorite lines. I guess it just caught my attention because is was so true :)
And once again James and Annette are just so cute when they're together! Their conversations just flow and are so realistic. It's sweet that James was willing to lose his job (also realistic) for her and, despite being sloshed, made Annette's safety his main priority.
As usual, you have delivered another wonderful chapter! Keep up the excellent work because this is really wonderful!Author's Response: Awww your reviews always make me smile! I'm so glad you liked the song and the dance. It was really one of my favorite scenes to write.
I love that you love that. Thanks dear; your reviews are fantastic and always make it better!
LMW Report Review
aww soo cute xD finally James realised he likes her:)Author's Response: Oh no, he knew he liked her. He just needed to stop being in denial xD Report Review
I just started reading your story. I think is quite wonderful please update soon?Author's Response: Well thank you for the kind review and updates will happen from time to time as RL allows it :) Report Review
i just want to say... oh my god i love that song so much... and i rlly like the way the story is going. carry on the gd work xoxoAuthor's Response: Wow, thanks for the super nice review, lunylucy! I like your penname by the way :) Report Review
hello there! I was waiting for you to respond to see if it was worth reviewing; I hope you understand.
I really enjoyed this one and it was an improvement compared to the last. James is a bloody boss, and Roxanne is amazing, and I realize why the title is called "Button Up"! Because Annette's last name is Button! Once again, it was super duper realistic and you are letting James be a teenagers, not some sex god. Okay, a teenager with a little sex god in him, but it just made the story even better!
I'm still unsure about Annette though. She is hiding something. I don't buy her Tibet story. She just seems too mysterious, too sexy to be human. Under this guise has to be a flaw...the question is, what? Was her family full of death eaters? Did she murder someone? Is...she gay?
I dunno. I'm not a trusting person, so if she's not trying to hide anything, I won't push it. But I'm keeping an eye out :p
James is like a pimp with his women; but Annette is the only one he really likes :( He likes flabby bellies! She was embarrassed that he saw her half-naked! The cuteness was overwhelming. When you mentioned kemps, I booya!'d out loud even though everyone's a sleep. Pretty much, you reached a new level of awesomness...I thought I was the only one who knew about that game :D
I like the vacation question; it does seem out of old Georgie's character, but once you lost a twin and have been settled for a while, stuff happens to you. So it fit.
If there was one thing to work on, it would be description. I really liked this chapter, but everything happened in such a short amount of time it was overwhelming. But I still liked it !
Ciao :DAuthor's Response: Hi there again, I'm sorry for the SUPER late reply. It's been a crazy few days-- RL has gotten quite in the way but I definitely respond to my reviews! And I totally understand!
Hahaha I'm so glad that you like and enjoy this story because I think that it's just supposed to be a fun story for everyone to enjoy and for me as a writer to improve upon dialogue. I will definitely taking your advice into consideration though!
Hahaha Annette isn't supposed to be so mysterious or anything...she's just supposed to be somewhat confident in herself and secure in that.
Hahahah keep your eye out ;).
It wasn't just George that came up with the questions; he, in my mind, works with other collaborative partners who help him with experimental stuff.
Thanks again! Ciao! Report Review
Hello there :) I'm here to review your story- and I know this is late, so I'll make this review as helpful to you as I can, alright?
I really enjoyed the beginning. I enjoy the cousin relationship James and Roxanne have and as the chapter progresses, although I don't know anything about them, it is incredibly clear that they love each other. You also set the mood by making them the foils of each other. Rosanne, the smart cynical one; and James the absolutely clueless.
Your wording in the dialogue was a big box of win. I enjoyed the banter between all three of them; especially Roxanne's siren comment (brought me back to Freshmen year when I was reading the Odyssey). The two girls unintentionally ganging up on him about not knowing what sirens and Annette were/was. And I thought it was absolutely adorable how James doesn't like his momma's temper!
There were a few moments when I had to stop and check to see who was talking, and moments when the story was verging on cliche. The Ball and the Evil girlfriend, for example. But I understand you were using these elements to progress your story, so disregard this comment if you want.
The way James was thinking about Annette was sweet and a little unexpected. It was a teenage way of being infatuated with a girl. No, he didn't proclaim his love for her...but he was definitely interested. Not sure what to think about this: as nice as Annette seems, there's something not right about her...but I can't quite place my finger on it. It's just there.
Freddie was adorable as well! Overall, fair job, although I think it would be better if you clarified who was talking and stayed away from cliches.
1. Enrique will tango his way to Annette's heart, and behold! A love triangle :)
2. James' girlfriend will dump him.
3. Love interest for Roxanne?Author's Response: Hahahaha. I was so excited by this review. It was very awesome. I really liked it and I'm so glad to see you get so involved with the story. I'm so glad you liked the beginning; I thought it would be kind of fun.
Oh wow, I'm so flattered that you like the dialogue...that is actually one of my weakest points and its something that I have been challenging myself with for this story.
I actually didn't want James's girlfriend to come across as evil only because she really hasn't done anything...she is just with James, that's all.
Annette isn't supposed to be not right, just not close with James yet hahahahaha. And I'm so glad you like Freddie! Fred is definitely one of my favorites to write.
Oh good job on predictions; you'll see ;) if you come back.
LMW Report Review
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested.
Okay, so right to it then. At first I thought this was a novel, but I figured out it was a short story collection. Even though this is a collection of short stories, I really felt that the flow was a bit off. For example, James and Roxanne were dancing, but it seemed so short. I was hoping for a bit more - I wanted to see their relationship as cousins and how close [or not] they are. I like your dialogue, but I was getting a bit confused at times. The dialogue tags didn't seem to match up with the character talking. At one point, Annette was nodding, but the dialogue was James asking if her partner knew how to dance well. When things like this happen, it's best to make the dialogue tag a new paragraph [even though it isn't a full paragraph] so that who is speaking is clear. I like your characterization of James and how he runs away from Lily when she gets a bit like Ginny.
Overall, I would have liked if you would have really fleshed this out a bit more with some good sensory details and description. I believe in doing so would bring this chapter around tremendously and really connect with the other stories within the piece.
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Hi there, I'm glad that you could kind of catch out the difference and I'll go back to see about the flow. And the bit with Roxanne and James was supoosed to be short but I'll definitely go back to read. I'll also check out the dialogue.
I've been hearing about sensory details, but my personal challenge was dialogue for this simply because that is something of a weak point for me. But your review was definitely helpful and I'd love to have you read something with more sensory details maybe. Thanks again!
LMW Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection