i was looking through my favorites one day and i realized that this was saved in my favorites. so i decided to read it again, and i remembered why i favorited it. then, i decided to leave a review,, so here we go.
i truly loved it. i loved the way you portrayed ron's character. i also enjoy reading about "missing moments" in the books, its really cool to get another potterhead's depiction or interpretation of these missing scenes.
once again, i loved it, and thanks for writing it!Author's Response: Aw thank you so much for favouriting it and leaving me such a complimentary review :)
I also love reading fellow potterhead's missing moments. It's always interesting to read another person's interpretation, even if it differs from your own.
Thanks again! Report Review
This is really brilliant. Ron is a complete prat for leaving, but this story makes me want to give him a hug. :*
I think you captured his character perfectly. Ron has a definite inferiority complex. I mean, he's got five awesome older brothers who he is always trying to live up to. Then he goes and makes friends with the boy who lived and the brightest witch at Hogwarts. It's kind of easy to see where these feelings come from.
I like that even at his most disloyal, Ron is still loyal to his friends. He keeps their secrets and refuses to talk about anything. I think that says a lot about his character.
You stopped in the perfect spot as well, so major points for that!
I love pretty much everything about this story. Ron's one of my favorite characters to read (and write) in fanfiction, and you did amazing with him. Thanks for sharing!
~SingularityAuthor's Response: Hi, thank you so much for your review :)
Yeah, I got that from Ron too. It's easy to see why he feels inadequate. In the book it mentions briefly how Ron tried to make his way back to Hermione and Harry and I thought guilt and regret would have driven him to do that so I played on that a little.
I'm so glad that someone who loves Ron enjoyed this and thought his character was believable, that really means a lot to me. So, thank you :) Report Review
:O The amazing depth that was in this little piece os absolutley gob smacking... Just wow. :O I am completely blown away.
This was so just wow. :O Ron's character was spot on, considering we didn't hear much about when he went to Shell Cottage in the book, I think you really took a natural spin on it ^_^
I like how you described how bad he felt for leaving, and when he had to close his eyes at the thought of Hermione, that was a really good touch :D
You have a great story here, and i ma glad I read it *inserts heart here* xx
Love ~Karni. xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it. I don't write Ron very often, so I'm glad you thought his character was spot on too :)
I really appreciate your kind words, thanks again! Report Review
Utterly amazing. one of the best that I'v read.Author's Response: Aw thanks so much :) Report Review
Well, I must begin by saying that this absolutely deserved to win its challenge - this was VERY well written, and what is more, it was just enjoyable to read. :) You have a very nice and easy writing style that doesn't cause the story to feel forced, but instead it flows seamlessly. I love it when authors can do this.
This seems so in-canon as to almost be exactly what happened (if THAT made any sense!). I can see this flowing so well with the events as we know them. Moreover, Ron is very in character, and I feel that is sometimes difficult to do, because most people just see Ron as a jokester. But his emotions and internal monologuing were all spot-on, and that impressed me a lot. My favorite bit:
"What was Ron? Comedic value? The tag-along, hoping to do something cool to be like Harry or to impress Hermione? No. He was the disappointment."
That made my heart twinge. (Also - you ended the story at a perfect place, I thought. Really well done!)
No grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes spotted. :D This was a really great piece! I am so glad it won, it truly deserves it. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! It was such a lovely surprise to win :)
I've never written Ron before, so it definitely did feel challenging for me to delve into his character a little more than I usually would. I also hoped it would come across as realistic, that was my main aim when I started writing. I didn't want something that was ok, but not plausible.
I'm glad you mentioned the ending actually. I always write really angsty pieces with rather sad endings. This is the first one-shot I've ever written that still had a sense of positivity at the end. That's why I called it Voice of Hope, I aimed for it to end on a more hopeful note.
Aw, you're too kind! Thank you so much for such a lovely review :) Report Review
I want to begin my review by thanking you for entering my challenge!
I enjoyed your story a lot; I found you explored this moment in a very original and believable way. This was a very emotional and true to character moment. You really captured Ron's personality and all through the read, we could see his maturity growing in a very painful (for him, I mean!) way.
I liked the rythm of his piece; going back and forth to little moments with Bill and Fleur, no need for real time references. The detailing of this story was really interesting, it was really like being inside Ron's head and heart.
Two little things of sentence structure stumped my reading though and broke the flow a little, in my opinion. You can chose to let them be, it's up to you but I wish to point them out to you anyway!
"He hoped that the external noises from outside"; seems a bit redondant to use 'external' and 'from outside',
"He knew that if Harry and Hermione had been caught, Ron would read of it."; I personnally think you should change the order of 'he' and 'Ron' (go with : Ron knew that if Harry and Hermione had been caught, he would read of it.)
Overall, you wrote a great little story, very emotional and a real definitive moment in Ron's developement. Great work!
AkussaAuthor's Response: Hi, thanks for reviewing! It was a really great challenge, I really enjoyed trying something new :)
I'm glad it was believable and most of all original. Originality is a bit hard to come by here on HPFF so it's nice that you thought this was original, thank you.
When I had originally wrote it, the flow of it was really awkward, I had to rewrite the transitions from past to present a couple of times so I'm glad that it flowed fine.
Now that you've highlighted "the external noises from outside" I'm just in awe that I missed that! Haha. I will edit that asap, as well as the other sentence. Your version definitely reads better.
Anyway, thanks for such a lovely review and a great challenge :) Report Review
This is really good! I remember the banner from TDA, I was looking at the posts and i saw it. Anyway, write more about Ron/Hermione!Author's Response: Thank you very much! This is the first time I've ever tackled Ron/Hermione but I might try it again in the future. Report Review
Oh this, this is what I have been looking for. Really, I mean it. I've been desperate for a good take on Ron, prior returning to Harry and Hermione, and by chance, I found this! And when I was just lazily going through the most recent stories, too.
And it is, believe me, absolute perfection.
What I love most is the persona of this, it encapsulates Ron so well, so perfectly, that I can't see anything wrong with it at all. Not many people can get that real feel of Ron's character, but you do, believe me.
'...like a phoenix from the flames in his chest, filling him with golden hope.' That line is wonderful, I just thought I would let you know.
Well, anyway, I'd best stop my rambling. I just wanted to leave a short review saying that I absolutely adore this, and that it is excellently written and all that jazz ;)
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much for such a glowing review! :)
It's the first time I've ever written Ron so it really means a lot that you felt I captured him well. Maybe I should write him more often haha!
Thank you again! Report Review
I was only browsing around for a Ron story about two or three hours ago, before this came through validation, yet found nothing new. Lo and behold, as soon as I go to recently added, I find one. Typical.
Anyway, I thought you did a really good job with this. I like how you got into Ron's head - it felt very much as it should, I think - and you characterised him really well. I felt a lot of pity for him; you brought across his urge to find his friends again and his guilt brilliantly. I've never given a great deal of thought about what happened with him after he left the others, beside what we knew from canon, and I think you fed off that minimal information really, really well.
Wonderful job :)Author's Response: Aw, such a lovely and unexpected review. Always the best type of review :)
I've never written Ron before so I'm really so glad you thought his characterisation was done well. I've also never thought about it either, but I entered a challenge where we were given a quote and had to imagine that missing moment. It was something new and I'm glad you felt it was well done.
You really made my day! :) Report Review
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