Reading Reviews for Memory
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Memory

16th February 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

I liked this vignette a lot. I have to confess that I didn't look at the summary before reading it, so I didn't realize it was Harry viewing Snape's memories until the very end. I thought it was Snape looking back and wishing that he could stop his younger self from making Lily cry. The really cool thing is that it still made sense, and the story works just as well either way! :)

I like that both Lily and Snape are in-character, that he takes the chance to tell her he loves her, and she still rejects him.

The only critique I have is that Snape and Lily not speaking for seven years before her marriage wouldn't have fit with the timeline in the books. They stopped speaking at the end of fifth year, which would have been in 1975, and Harry was born in 1980. It may have been four years since they last spoke.

I agree that Harry would definitely grab the opportunity to get to know his mother better, even if he had to do it through Snape's memories. The revelation that Harry has been sneaking off to Snape's old house to relive them all lends the story a bittersweet ending that I really like.

Kudos! :)

Author's Response: That's interesting, how it can be read both ways. I'm glad you think they're in character; it's something I struggle with a lot in writing. And you're right about the timing! Thanks, I'll definitely change that. I really appreciate you taking the time out to read & write a helpful review for this! :)

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Review #2, by hedwigs_theme Memory

28th June 2012:
Hey it's me from the review thread.

This is a really beautiful story, with great romance and angst. Well done...

Flow~ I have know idea why you are worried about flow, it's absolutely fine, great in fact.

I think that it would be a good idea to possibly put a line of some sort (even if it's just ...) between Snape's memories and Harry's real life.

I really love how you managed to get your message across to the reader without using 2000+ words. Though keeping it short can be a risk because I find that sometimes, when the author makes it too short, I am left with a empty feeling, kind of wanting more. I did not get that feeling with your story!

Thankyou for the great read!

9.5/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'll definitely take your suggestion into account. :)

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Review #3, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 Memory

17th May 2012:
I've never read anything quite like this before. it was interesting to see snape's memory through harry's point of view. I think you have an interesting concept here you can actually turn this into a longer story with more memories such as why exactly Snape and Lily stopped talking there has to be more to it than just house prejudices and the fact that snape called her a mudblood (oh and the whole death eater thing). Great story and an excellent read.

Author's Response: Thank you! I love your suggestion about making it into a story, but I think I'm just going to keep this as a sort of little snippet. This plot bunny just attacked me one day so I just had to write it. :)

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Review #4, by academica Memory

11th May 2012:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review :) Thanks so much for requesting a Snily; I love reading them but I don't always have time to scour the recently added list for them.

I LOVED this. I think the idea of Harry going back through Snape's memories is fascinating. It's clear from canon that Snape's love for his mother had a significant impact on him, seeing as he gifted Snape's name to his youngest son, and yet we don't get but a glimpse of what Harry did with the information following the conclusion of the main canon plot. I can imagine him sitting in Snape's home, devouring these memories as he tries to get to know the mother he never really had and the man who loved her enough to act in her stead, protecting a boy who looked like the man he hated. I'm in awe at the precision with which Snape documented and kept each and every one of these memories, but considering his precise nature and the fact that they were most likely his most precious possessions, it really shouldn't surprise me. I think this scene could very well be canon. His storage of the memories seems to mirror his stores of his precious potions ingredients at work. Imagine what it would have been like if his co-workers had seen this shelf instead!

I didn't notice any problems with grammar, spelling or punctuation, so I really wouldn't worry about that. The story appeared to flow well, and I liked how you introduced the story by dropping us right into the middle of a memory with Harry. I liked the ending, too -- it shows us that Harry isn't obsessed with the memories, but he's still dedicated to them, just as he is dedicated to his wife and children at home. I wonder if he'll ever show those memories to his family?

Overall, I really loved this, and I'm glad you requested it. I'm sorry if you were looking for more critique, because I can't find a whole lot to point out (and not just because it's a Snily, I promise). This was a lovely look at an intimate moment that could have been pulled straight from canon, in my opinion, and the details you explored within the memories made it especially enjoyable. It kind of makes you wonder how Lily would have felt about everything Snape did to try to make things up to her, even after she was gone, and you handled the ship in a very touching way. Very well done!

I hope this review is helpful for you (or at least nice) :)

- Amanda

Author's Response: This review really just made my day. Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Snape and Lily through Harry delving into Snape's memories. Honestly, I can really see Harry doing just that. And I'm so happy you're a Snily shipper too! His unconditional love for her just completely astounds me and breaks my heart.

Thank you again!


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Review #5, by wenderbender Memory

3rd June 2011:
Hiya, wenderbender here from the forums with your requested review!

Wow, what a tearjerker. I'm no Lily/Severus shipper, but I was nearly crying after reading this fic. If that isn't an endorsement of your ability to write an emotional, atmospheric oneshot I don't know what is. The characterization in this is great, especially considering how short it is. I really liked that everything is from Harry's perspective, and you get an excellent view into his character as well as those of Lily and Severus.

Severus seemed, in my opinion, relatively clear cut: he loves Lily. Lily, on the other hand, raised a lot of questions for me. Her tears made me think that perhaps she had once been in love with Severus, and maybe that she even has some lingering feelings for him. I even wondered whether she regrets her decision to marry James--the part where Lily announces, "I love James" seemed almost as much an attempt to convince herself as it was to convince Severus. As a definite James/Lily shipper, I found the scenario disturbingly plausible, even likely! I love to imagine Harry's parents having a kind of perfect relationship after sorting out their differences at Hogwarts, but reading this I was forced to reconsider...and I'm glad I did.

The way you provide insight into Harry's character as the first person narrator is inventive and skillfully executed. I especially liked the little asides about how Harry wishes he could stop Severus, dry his mother's tears, remain with her rather than following Sev from the room. These little comments show the depths of Harry's own regrets and desires--possibly that he, rather like me, would rather not see his mother crying over a man other than his father before her wedding day.

It seemed to me that Harry's relationship with his mother is to be very intense--almost a little too intense, especially considering he has almost no memories of her himself. Maybe that is just the problem: seeing his mother through other people's memories, especially Snapes. I was struck, for instance, by Harry's continued reaction to Lily's beauty, which seemed a bit strange...but yeah, most people don't get to see their parents when they were young and attractive.

Wrapping up the fic with Harry going home to his family was a nice touch. For some reason, I got a strong mental image of Harry, crouched over a desk in a cold, dank room in Spinner's End engaging in his guilty pleasure of watching his mother through Snape's memories. Finally he awakens and, despite the seductive call of the dead, he realizes that the warmth of the living--his family, his home, his job--is so much more important. And all is as it should be.

It seems a little ungrateful to ask for more when this fic is already so good. My only suggestion would be to bulk up the memory a little--I personally would love a bit more dialogue between Lily and Severus, and some more detailed narration about the positions, gestures and actions. This would give the story time to develop a slightly more pointed plot (at the moment, I would call this more of a snapshot of life, rather than a full story). But this is really optional...it's very good as it is.

Congratulations on a lovely oneshot!
xoxo wenderbender

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review!

I wholly did not expect for you to like it so much, but I'm glad you did. I've always wanted to believe Severus and Lily almost had something more together, because I'm just weird like that and like Severus better than James (shame on me, I know). But I do believe that Lily really did love James, despite whatever may or may not have happened with Severus. Lily belongs with James in the end, no matter how Severus (or I) wish otherwise. Thanks for the suggestion on detailing the flashbacks more; I'll definitely take it into consideration. Dialogue's not my strongest point, so I don't like putting a lot of it in my stories. But hey, you know what they say: practice makes perfect. If I can get it to sound just right, I'll add some more in there.

Once again, thank you for the review! :)


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