Reading Reviews for The Promise of a Universe
  
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart In Flight

19th July 2015:
Hi there!

I know this is getting redundant, but I'm here for House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

I'll admit that I was a bit caught off guard by this chapter. For some reason, I wasn't expecting this to be the end. I was thinking this was more like a middle chapter and you still had more to write, but then I started reading and you talked about a year later and Victoire's blessing and it just all felt so final.

I liked that you portrayed Victoire as a good person. I think often times she gets shown as airheaded or aloof or snotty, so it's nice to see this compassionate, understanding who gave her cousin the blessing to date her long time love. Whether she can tell that Teddy is happier or not, it takes a really big person to make a decision like that.

I will say that I found this chapter to be a bit rushed. All of the other chapters move at such a leisurely pace and then suddenly this one sort of summarizes the result of a ton of different important events. My personal thought is that adding a few more chapters in between to show some of these monumental events instead of just summarizing them here would improve this.

Still, as a whole I really like this story and the way you told it. Great work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #2, by TreacleTart The Fall

19th July 2015:
Hello again!

Back for More House Cup 2015 madness - Gryffindor of course!

So Teddy and Rose are now teetering on the edge of falling in love. There's a lot of pressure on them from a lot of different angles. If they do start a relationship everyone will hate them for it...because if I'm being honest, it is sort of messed up. He was engaged to Victoire and then suddenly, shortly after he's spending all his time with Rose. I could definitely see why that might hurt some feelings.

I adore the idea of the two of them having a muggle movie night, but I did sort of wonder how they knew about movies, since it doesn't seem that t.v.'s exist in the magic world. Maybe Mr.Weasley told them about them?

This chapter leaves me feeling very conflicted. I can't decide whether I want Rose and Teddy to be together and be happy...or I want them to make a noble decision to spare the family's feelings. Either way, it seems like neither choice will result in the contentment that Rose seeks.

Another good chapter!

~Kaitlin

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Review #3, by TreacleTart Teetering Over

19th July 2015:
Hello again!

Back for more! House Cup 2015- Gryffindor!

Oh, so it was Teddy and Victoire's engagement party. I somehow missed that in the first chapter. Well, that certainly makes things interesting. Teddy dumped Victoire for her cousin Rose. Yikes.

As in the last chapter, Rose's very calculated assessment of everything is brilliant. She's very clinical in how she describes everything as messed up and then explains why it's messed up. You've got the voice down just right.

The fact that Teddy and Rose both seem to share the same sort of personality was a cool choice. Usually, I see Teddy portrayed as the uber nice, sweet boy who does everything right, so I enjoyed how your interpretation broke from the normal. It makes him seem so much more human because he has flaws.

At the moment, I'm not quite sure why, but I have this feeling that this is going to end badly for the two of them. (Maybe cause everything else I've read of yours has a dark twinge to it) I'm a bit nervous about reading the next chapters and finding out what that is.

Good work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #4, by TreacleTart On the Brink

19th July 2015:
Hello there!

Here for House Cup 2015- Gryffindor!

Since I've read several of your one-shots now, I thought I'd give something a little longer a try. I was also drawn in by the Teddy/Rose pairing. That's not one that I've seen before, so I'm very excited to see how you brought them together.

For whatever reason, it's easy for me to imagine Rose drunk and rowdy at a family function. I don't know why she always gets picked as the rebel child, but I can't argue that it fits. I also love her observations about how her drunken mind works. Never have I seen such a thorough description of drunkedness. It's almost like you've been inside my head when I'm drunk because I function almost exactly as Rose does.

The comparison of Teddy's eyes and the stars was really interesting. It's easy for "eyes twinkling like the brightest stars in the sky" to get cliche, but you stayed away from that. The way you compared his eyes to the stars was beautiful and different and lovely.

This is a really nice start. I understand what's going on, but I have a lot of questions as I move forward. Guess I'll have to go answer them right now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #5, by Lostmyheart In Flight

9th July 2014:
The final chapter.

It was... nice. I'm not sure what else to call it. It certainly pleased me in many ways, because I got what I wished for - a happy ending!
It surprised me to read that Victoire wasn't mad about it, or jumped into conclusions about him cheating on her with Rose. But then again, it really wouldn't fit the story or the romantic, simple theme you have going.
Everything was so simple, their relationship seemed simple... yet they like storms and thunder. So maybe they aren't simple after all, they just seem like it because of the way you write them. Not in many words, just the ones needed.

I really enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you so much for writing it :)

- Lostmyheart

HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW

Author's Response: I feel like Victoire felt as trapped by all the expectations placed on her and Teddy as Teddy did - she was happy, but she wasn't truly happy or free, and so while she was sad, she wasn't angry. I never imagined her to be spiteful or jealous, in fact, I kind of imagine her to be a nicer person than Rose, despite Rose's judgements of her.
I think, when you strip it all down to feelings, things become much simpler - I could have written it with all the complexities of life thrown in, but really I just wanted to focus on the characters, kind of isolated from their surroundings.
Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews! I'm so happy you enjoyed the story :)


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Review #6, by Lostmyheart The Fall

9th July 2014:
Again, another great chapter.
I like how you keep each chapter this short. The same length. It gives it this sort of balance, and gives it this special vibe to it.
You keep the chapters so simple, not a lot is mentioned - just enough to know how she feels about certain things, the most important things.
I like how Teddy still feels bad about the break up (of course) yet he visits her, gets coffee and they just sit there in silence. They know why he did it, not mostly because of her, but she was the one that stirred something in the situation.
So many sweet details.

I'm going to read the next chapter, and I'm kind of excited about it. I want to know how it all ends. Hopefully on good terms. Otherwise you'll crush my heart after building up such a beautiful story with such short chapters.

- Lostmyheart

HOUSE CUP REVIEW 2014

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoy the short chapters! It wasn't really something I planned, it just kind of happened. They're both such quiet, confined people, so anything more descriptive wouldn't have felt right to me.
This definitely could have ended in disaster, but you make me very happy I didn't write it that way XD


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Review #7, by Lostmyheart Teetering Over

9th July 2014:
Hi again,

This story is so... amazing.
This whole chapter was so beautifully written, and I really liked how you described Teddy and Victoire's relationship - that's what I've imagined myself. They're just too perfect. It was too meant to be, if that's even a thing. But yeah, I really got how you compared it with rainbows - it was just too much.

It's funny how Rose already thinks about them as 'we' when she's hardly ever heard him speak - which I think is rather odd, since I've always pictured him being a big part of her family and therefore they've grown up together. Or not. I'm not sure... there are ten years between them (I think) so he was off to Hogwarts right around the time she was born. But then again, during the summers and holidays, they could have spend time together.

Anyway, I'm off to the next chapter.
Again, I loved this.

- Lostmyheart

HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW

Author's Response: Hello again to you!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who saw Teddy and Victoire as too perfect! Maybe it's because they were part of the epilogue, and the epilogue was, on the whole, too perfect - but since the very first Teddy/Rose fic I came across, I've been hooked on that idea.
I imagined the age gap would have meant they drifted in slightly different circles within the family - after all, they are a very big family now (at least to me, I have a rather small family).
Thanks again for the review!


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Review #8, by Lostmyheart On the Brink

9th July 2014:
Hi there :)

This was a very interesting start of your story. It was so beautifully written, how you mentioned everything could change in a minute, only with a glance. It was really beautiful.

I guess it's at Teddy and Victoire's wedding, and that's why Rose is drunk. What I didn't understand was why she ran away... maybe something happened and you wrote it so poetically that I didn't understand it. But I'll find out in the next chapter, I hope.

It was a very beautiful chapter, and the one who recommended this was right - it was beautiful.

- Lostmyheart

HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW

Author's Response: Hi!
Gosh, it's been a while since I looked at this story - from memory, I think she ran away purely because she embarassed herself over something small, which in her drunken mind seemed like something larger.
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review :)


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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 In Flight

29th May 2012:
I'm glad they jumped. :)
Teddy/Victoire is overdone sometimes, and this fic was original and breathtaking.
Your powers of description astound me!!

Author's Response: I'm glad they did too :)
Thank you so much for leaving all these lovely reviews! -hugs-


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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 The Fall

29th May 2012:
Again, wonderful chapter.
The cliff metaphor is a striking one, and though it can be cliche, yours is not.
Onward to the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: I seem to be completely unable of writing a story that does not contain a cliff - I just love the imagery of it too much. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 Teetering Over

29th May 2012:
More sheer brilliance. :)
The continuation of the imagery of his eyes and the "shatter[ing]" of the "illusion" of Teddy's fairy tale fancy of Victoire were splendid.
Oh yes, and I realize now who the characters are. Silly me. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! You're far too kind -blushes-

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Review #12, by UnluckyStar57 On the Brink

29th May 2012:
Wow... With this beginning, you've really got me hooked!!
Your diction is amazing, and though I can't exactly place who the characters are (which may be your intent!), the descriptions are brilliant. :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't actually have any intent to mask the characters in the first chapter - I do have a tendency to avoid using names quite often though XD

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Review #13, by marinahill Teetering Over

22nd May 2012:
Another time, another place, we stood atop a cliff. The wind howled around us, and the skies opened up and proceeded in an attempt to drown us.

Oh my gosh -dies- That... that is so gorgeous. What beautiful imagery! I can just imagine the scene like it's a painting, you've created SUCH a vivid image. Wow.

I just... the descriptions are perfect, the tone is perfect, the dialogue is... spot on! I can't tell you how much I love this.

Brilliant.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! The fact that I envisaged that scene in my head really vividly seems to have come through, which is wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! -hugs-

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Review #14, by marinahill On the Brink

21st May 2012:
I love me some Teddy/Rose ♥

I found this story whilst perusing the archives for potential featured stories and I'm so glad I did. It's both beautifully written and cute and light and romantic and I really loved the tone. I don't know much about either character yet but I don't feel like I need many more details. Their eye colours and middle names aren't going to make a jot of difference to the tension and interactions between them. I've got a feel for their lives already through these few words.

Fabulous start!

Marina

Author's Response: Teddy/Rose is probably my favourite pairing at the moment, they're too adorable and amazing.
I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this! I feel awestruck and somewhat speechless at being reviewed by someone as amazing as yourself. Thank you so much for taking the time to review, and deciding to feature this!


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Review #15, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap In Flight

11th May 2012:
I just thought I'd write it all down. So I can mock myself later, of course. Don't you always find reading the things you wrote when you were younger the strangest experience? Half the time you simply can't figure out how you were once that person.

^

I think as writers we do this all the time. I hope when you read this back a few years from now you never mock it because it was truly beautiful.

I like that you kept it up to us to decide what would happen for them in the future. It's happy and then it's...not at the same time (if that makes sense). What I mean is...maybe they never get that gingerbread house and maybe they do, who knows?

I think they do. Only because I feel like a hopeless romantic right now.

Author's Response: I hope I don't read back and mock this as well. I haven't thus far, at least, though I certainly do to stuff I wrote at a much younger age.
I did want to leave the ending ambiguous, because not every thing in life works out, and I didn't want the typical fairytale ending. Though, I tend to picture them happy as, like you, I'm quite the hopeless romantic.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave all these lovely reviews, they've completely made my day -hugs-


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Review #16, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Fall

11th May 2012:
I'm truly amazed by your writing and I'm a bit miffed that I never fell on this before. Thank goodness for the featured stories feature, right? (Woah, that's a lot of 'feature' in a sentence)

This journey you have me on is quite amazing. The way Rose's thoughts swirl in her head. It was interesting to read how she felt guilty but then she didn't at the same time. I feel like we have binds to our families, you know? Sometimes, when those binds (or bonds) are strong, we feel bad bending them or just making them ripple a tiny bit even though it would make our life happier if we did.

Author's Response: Wow, I only just noticed this was a featured story at the moment! I'm thrilled it led you here to leave these lovely reviews. I agree, with families you tend to be more tentative about stepping out of place, more than you would be with others. Thank you for the review!

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Review #17, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Teetering Over

11th May 2012:
It was the eyes, you see. Those promises of a wonderful future we both glimpsed in each other. The inexplicable call of fate had captured us in its web, two individuals stranded in a storm.

^ I really like how you connect the 'eyes' into the story. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? I think that's how the saying goes. The way you tell us of these small glimpses and the way they break apart it just...it reads so much emotion. It's powerful. It's breathtaking. It's heartbreaking.

It's beautiful. Truly beautiful.

Author's Response: That would be the saying. I find eyes so fascinating that I simply can't resist writing about them. Thanks for taking the time to review.

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Review #18, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap On the Brink

11th May 2012:
He had the promise of a universe in those eyes of his, swirling nebulas and twisting galaxies, spinning solar systems and burning stars.

^ Woah...

I am breathless by your imagery. When I close my eyes I see the burning stars and the swirl of the Milky Way. It makes me want to stay motionless so I can remember this moment and these words for days.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for leaving me such lovely compliments -blushes-

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Review #19, by Violet Gryfindor In Flight

9th August 2011:
This was a very sweet ending. I wasn't sure what you were going to have happen as there were so many possibilities - both for complete success and complete failure - but I like that they were successful, that they could be happy together. The idea of the "happy storms" between them is just wonderful, perfect for the two of them and also perfectly romantic. It shouldn't have to be a fairytale to end happily, though those pet unicorns... XD That Rose.

I think I was as worried as Rose when it came to Victoire's reaction, and it's more than a bit cruel for Rose to think her an airhead, if an admirable one. That line said a lot about your Rose - it's a fantastic portrayal of her, reminding me of both her parents, yet still her own person. She has a strong voice for this kind of story, not only the first person narration, but the kind of leading role it required.

This story is interesting in how it relies so heavily on the narrator's voice rather than events and dialogue - it sets this story apart, making it more of a character study. Rose reveals a lot about herself, often without meaning to (like that remark about Victoire). The style also enhances the beauty of this story, how the words just flow so perfectly. I'm really very jealous.

Fantastic work on this! It's been a joy to read, and I look forward to whatever new things you write. ^_^

- Violet Gryfindor (Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: I wanted to write a story that was neither happy nor sad particularly, because I always tend to go to the extremes of either end. But I always knew I wanted a relatively happy ending, though not a fairytale one. Though the thought that it could be slightly fairytale-ish is slightly ironic, considering how much Rose mocked Teddy and Victoire for it XD
I didn't actually think about that phrase before, of Rose thinking Victoire an airhead, but now that you mention it, it does say a lot about Rose. You seem to pick out a lot in this that I didn't particularly pick up on while writing it XD I never thought of it as a character study, but I agree that is largely what it is.
Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews on this, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. Hopefully there will be new things soon, to the detriment of my uni work I'm sure :D -hugs-


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Review #20, by Violet Gryfindor The Fall

9th August 2011:
This was fantastic! The way that you got into Rose's mind and revealed her circular thoughts, the combination of confusion and knowingness that she experiences, it all came through brilliantly in the style and language here. It's like listening to her tell this story to someone - a friend or a shrink, or even to Teddy himself afterwards as part of her confession to him. It's a realistic style, but it's also very carefully measured, each word bearing great weight. I love it when authors are able to do all of these things, and in this case, it makes Rose a flesh and blood person with thoughts and feelings, not just a character in a story.

It was interesting to see how Rose did and didn't feel guilty - it was an understandable reaction because some people would expect her to be the "cause" of the broken engagement, that "other woman" who has "stolen" Teddy away, and it's like she's taking on their expected reaction herself. Though from the way that she described her relationship with Teddy, it was a strong friendship, nothing more - had she been male, I doubt that anyone would have blamed her, which is a sad revelation, but a realistic one. It's amazing how much of Rose's mind you're able to explore in this short piece, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do in the finale.

You've done great work with this story, and it (as well as your work as a whole) deserves a lot more attention. You're an excellent writer!

- Violet Gryfindor (Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: I'm not even sure how to go about replying to these, you're just far too nice -blushes-
I'm so glad you enjoyed the trip through Rose's mind, and that you thought it worked so well. I was a bit iffy about this chapter, it was a bit of a struggle to get out, so it's good to see you enjoyed it.
Your point about had she been male, she wouldn't have been blamed, is so true, sadly. Thinking about it with that in mind makes it more interesting to understand the various reactions and Rose's feelings and such. It's almost been programmed in her by society to think she's at fault, though she did nothing wrong.
Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #21, by charlottetrips In Flight

4th May 2011:
Wow. That was beautiful. Your descriptions were evocative and profound and really I just had to pay attention the whole way. The story itself was real but your words took it to another plane altogether.

I think that's one of the best stories. One that just takes you out of yourself for a while and able to enjoy the majic that is love.

x Char

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! You're too kind -blushes- I'm really happy you enjoyed it, I'm quite proud of actually finishing a longer story. Thanks so much for the lovely review! -hugs-

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Review #22, by iheartzuko On the Brink

24th April 2011:
This is a good start. And your banner is beautiful (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I love your penname :)

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Review #23, by Violet Gryfindor Teetering Over

20th April 2011:
It was great to see another part to this story. I had not thought it would be more than a one-shot, so it was a very pleasant surprise - any excuse to read more of your poetic style. ^_^ And this chapter did not disappoint.

I like what you're doing with the snapshots into their relationship, and you build nicely off the previous part, showing how things have changed, particularly for Teddy. My favourite lines were in the beginning, though, in the way you set the scene with those images of the clifftop and the waves crashing beneath. It was a violent backdrop for their "silent friendship", but I think it reflects Rose's thoughts and emotions, reflecting her continued desire to flee, but this time, she can't - she's at the edge of a cliff, the edge of her future. Beautiful!

Fantastic work! I look forward to seeing more of this story as you go. You write Teddy/Rose so well1 ^_^

Author's Response: I'm determined to prove to myself that I can write something other than a one-shot, I have an unhealthy addiction to them XD
My favourite bit is the beginning too, I actually had some trouble finishing it off from there. I'm a sucker for violent weather and cliff scenes, I can't seem to help myself. I'm glad you think it fits in with Rose's emotions, and her life at this point.
Pfft, and I don't write Teddy/Rose half as well as you! Your gorgeous 'The Touch of Someone New' still trumps all others in my mind :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review! You really are too kind -hugs-


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Review #24, by Violet Gryfindor On the Brink

5th April 2011:
As soon as I saw the notice for this on the forums, I ran here to check it out. I enjoy your short stories (ficlets?) because you have such a fantastic way of words, saying so much in so few words, and beautiful words at that. So oozing with jealousy do I write this review because, once again, you've done it, stuffing 500-or-so words with more images than I thought possible - the result is stunning. Gorgeous, even. I never thought that drunkenness could be so poetic. Ack, when she sees the universe in his eyes, I melted. Not fair at all. :P

Sorry for the rambling review. It's been a while since I last wrote one and all I would do, if I continued, would be to melt further in going over all the fantastic imagery again. Like the whole brain "sections" paragraph - in reading it over, I was struck by how crazy an idea it is, but it was revealing about Rose in an odd way. It's nothing short of brilliant. Just like this story. :D

Author's Response: You are far too kind! -blushes-
I don't even know how to begin responding to this XD I'm so glad you enjoyed it, it's a piece I wrote ages ago but I only just dug it up again. I never realised drunkenness could be overly poetic either, but then I do have an odd mind XD
This feels like an inadequate response to such a nice review, but thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it. :D


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Review #25, by hooligan On the Brink

5th April 2011:
Bravo. I loved this.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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