I'm glad they jumped. :)
Teddy/Victoire is overdone sometimes, and this fic was original and breathtaking.
Your powers of description astound me!!Author's Response: I'm glad they did too :)
Thank you so much for leaving all these lovely reviews! -hugs- Report Review
Again, wonderful chapter.
The cliff metaphor is a striking one, and though it can be cliche, yours is not.
Onward to the next chapter! :)Author's Response: I seem to be completely unable of writing a story that does not contain a cliff - I just love the imagery of it too much. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
More sheer brilliance. :)
The continuation of the imagery of his eyes and the "shatter[ing]" of the "illusion" of Teddy's fairy tale fancy of Victoire were splendid.
Oh yes, and I realize now who the characters are. Silly me. :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! You're far too kind -blushes- Report Review
Wow... With this beginning, you've really got me hooked!!
Your diction is amazing, and though I can't exactly place who the characters are (which may be your intent!), the descriptions are brilliant. :)Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't actually have any intent to mask the characters in the first chapter - I do have a tendency to avoid using names quite often though XD Report Review
Another time, another place, we stood atop a cliff. The wind howled around us, and the skies opened up and proceeded in an attempt to drown us.
Oh my gosh -dies- That... that is so gorgeous. What beautiful imagery! I can just imagine the scene like it's a painting, you've created SUCH a vivid image. Wow.
I just... the descriptions are perfect, the tone is perfect, the dialogue is... spot on! I can't tell you how much I love this.
Brilliant.Author's Response: Wow, thank you! The fact that I envisaged that scene in my head really vividly seems to have come through, which is wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! -hugs- Report Review
I love me some Teddy/Rose ♥
I found this story whilst perusing the archives for potential featured stories and I'm so glad I did. It's both beautifully written and cute and light and romantic and I really loved the tone. I don't know much about either character yet but I don't feel like I need many more details. Their eye colours and middle names aren't going to make a jot of difference to the tension and interactions between them. I've got a feel for their lives already through these few words.
MarinaAuthor's Response: Teddy/Rose is probably my favourite pairing at the moment, they're too adorable and amazing.
I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this! I feel awestruck and somewhat speechless at being reviewed by someone as amazing as yourself. Thank you so much for taking the time to review, and deciding to feature this! Report Review
I just thought I'd write it all down. So I can mock myself later, of course. Don't you always find reading the things you wrote when you were younger the strangest experience? Half the time you simply can't figure out how you were once that person.
I think as writers we do this all the time. I hope when you read this back a few years from now you never mock it because it was truly beautiful.
I like that you kept it up to us to decide what would happen for them in the future. It's happy and then it's...not at the same time (if that makes sense). What I mean is...maybe they never get that gingerbread house and maybe they do, who knows?
I think they do. Only because I feel like a hopeless romantic right now.Author's Response: I hope I don't read back and mock this as well. I haven't thus far, at least, though I certainly do to stuff I wrote at a much younger age.
I did want to leave the ending ambiguous, because not every thing in life works out, and I didn't want the typical fairytale ending. Though, I tend to picture them happy as, like you, I'm quite the hopeless romantic.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave all these lovely reviews, they've completely made my day -hugs- Report Review
I'm truly amazed by your writing and I'm a bit miffed that I never fell on this before. Thank goodness for the featured stories feature, right? (Woah, that's a lot of 'feature' in a sentence)
This journey you have me on is quite amazing. The way Rose's thoughts swirl in her head. It was interesting to read how she felt guilty but then she didn't at the same time. I feel like we have binds to our families, you know? Sometimes, when those binds (or bonds) are strong, we feel bad bending them or just making them ripple a tiny bit even though it would make our life happier if we did.Author's Response: Wow, I only just noticed this was a featured story at the moment! I'm thrilled it led you here to leave these lovely reviews. I agree, with families you tend to be more tentative about stepping out of place, more than you would be with others. Thank you for the review! Report Review
It was the eyes, you see. Those promises of a wonderful future we both glimpsed in each other. The inexplicable call of fate had captured us in its web, two individuals stranded in a storm.
^ I really like how you connect the 'eyes' into the story. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? I think that's how the saying goes. The way you tell us of these small glimpses and the way they break apart it just...it reads so much emotion. It's powerful. It's breathtaking. It's heartbreaking.
It's beautiful. Truly beautiful.Author's Response: That would be the saying. I find eyes so fascinating that I simply can't resist writing about them. Thanks for taking the time to review. Report Review
He had the promise of a universe in those eyes of his, swirling nebulas and twisting galaxies, spinning solar systems and burning stars.
I am breathless by your imagery. When I close my eyes I see the burning stars and the swirl of the Milky Way. It makes me want to stay motionless so I can remember this moment and these words for days.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for leaving me such lovely compliments -blushes- Report Review
This was a very sweet ending. I wasn't sure what you were going to have happen as there were so many possibilities - both for complete success and complete failure - but I like that they were successful, that they could be happy together. The idea of the "happy storms" between them is just wonderful, perfect for the two of them and also perfectly romantic. It shouldn't have to be a fairytale to end happily, though those pet unicorns... XD That Rose.
I think I was as worried as Rose when it came to Victoire's reaction, and it's more than a bit cruel for Rose to think her an airhead, if an admirable one. That line said a lot about your Rose - it's a fantastic portrayal of her, reminding me of both her parents, yet still her own person. She has a strong voice for this kind of story, not only the first person narration, but the kind of leading role it required.
This story is interesting in how it relies so heavily on the narrator's voice rather than events and dialogue - it sets this story apart, making it more of a character study. Rose reveals a lot about herself, often without meaning to (like that remark about Victoire). The style also enhances the beauty of this story, how the words just flow so perfectly. I'm really very jealous.
Fantastic work on this! It's been a joy to read, and I look forward to whatever new things you write. ^_^
- Violet Gryfindor (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: I wanted to write a story that was neither happy nor sad particularly, because I always tend to go to the extremes of either end. But I always knew I wanted a relatively happy ending, though not a fairytale one. Though the thought that it could be slightly fairytale-ish is slightly ironic, considering how much Rose mocked Teddy and Victoire for it XD
I didn't actually think about that phrase before, of Rose thinking Victoire an airhead, but now that you mention it, it does say a lot about Rose. You seem to pick out a lot in this that I didn't particularly pick up on while writing it XD I never thought of it as a character study, but I agree that is largely what it is.
Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews on this, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. Hopefully there will be new things soon, to the detriment of my uni work I'm sure :D -hugs- Report Review
This was fantastic! The way that you got into Rose's mind and revealed her circular thoughts, the combination of confusion and knowingness that she experiences, it all came through brilliantly in the style and language here. It's like listening to her tell this story to someone - a friend or a shrink, or even to Teddy himself afterwards as part of her confession to him. It's a realistic style, but it's also very carefully measured, each word bearing great weight. I love it when authors are able to do all of these things, and in this case, it makes Rose a flesh and blood person with thoughts and feelings, not just a character in a story.
It was interesting to see how Rose did and didn't feel guilty - it was an understandable reaction because some people would expect her to be the "cause" of the broken engagement, that "other woman" who has "stolen" Teddy away, and it's like she's taking on their expected reaction herself. Though from the way that she described her relationship with Teddy, it was a strong friendship, nothing more - had she been male, I doubt that anyone would have blamed her, which is a sad revelation, but a realistic one. It's amazing how much of Rose's mind you're able to explore in this short piece, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do in the finale.
You've done great work with this story, and it (as well as your work as a whole) deserves a lot more attention. You're an excellent writer!
- Violet Gryfindor (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: I'm not even sure how to go about replying to these, you're just far too nice -blushes-
I'm so glad you enjoyed the trip through Rose's mind, and that you thought it worked so well. I was a bit iffy about this chapter, it was a bit of a struggle to get out, so it's good to see you enjoyed it.
Your point about had she been male, she wouldn't have been blamed, is so true, sadly. Thinking about it with that in mind makes it more interesting to understand the various reactions and Rose's feelings and such. It's almost been programmed in her by society to think she's at fault, though she did nothing wrong.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Report Review
This was absolutely Beautiful.Author's Response: Thank you! -hugs- Report Review
Wow. That was beautiful. Your descriptions were evocative and profound and really I just had to pay attention the whole way. The story itself was real but your words took it to another plane altogether.
I think that's one of the best stories. One that just takes you out of yourself for a while and able to enjoy the majic that is love.
x CharAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much! You're too kind -blushes- I'm really happy you enjoyed it, I'm quite proud of actually finishing a longer story. Thanks so much for the lovely review! -hugs- Report Review
This is a good start. And your banner is beautiful (:Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I love your penname :) Report Review
It was great to see another part to this story. I had not thought it would be more than a one-shot, so it was a very pleasant surprise - any excuse to read more of your poetic style. ^_^ And this chapter did not disappoint.
I like what you're doing with the snapshots into their relationship, and you build nicely off the previous part, showing how things have changed, particularly for Teddy. My favourite lines were in the beginning, though, in the way you set the scene with those images of the clifftop and the waves crashing beneath. It was a violent backdrop for their "silent friendship", but I think it reflects Rose's thoughts and emotions, reflecting her continued desire to flee, but this time, she can't - she's at the edge of a cliff, the edge of her future. Beautiful!
Fantastic work! I look forward to seeing more of this story as you go. You write Teddy/Rose so well1 ^_^Author's Response: I'm determined to prove to myself that I can write something other than a one-shot, I have an unhealthy addiction to them XD
My favourite bit is the beginning too, I actually had some trouble finishing it off from there. I'm a sucker for violent weather and cliff scenes, I can't seem to help myself. I'm glad you think it fits in with Rose's emotions, and her life at this point.
Pfft, and I don't write Teddy/Rose half as well as you! Your gorgeous 'The Touch of Someone New' still trumps all others in my mind :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review! You really are too kind -hugs- Report Review
As soon as I saw the notice for this on the forums, I ran here to check it out. I enjoy your short stories (ficlets?) because you have such a fantastic way of words, saying so much in so few words, and beautiful words at that. So oozing with jealousy do I write this review because, once again, you've done it, stuffing 500-or-so words with more images than I thought possible - the result is stunning. Gorgeous, even. I never thought that drunkenness could be so poetic. Ack, when she sees the universe in his eyes, I melted. Not fair at all. :P
Sorry for the rambling review. It's been a while since I last wrote one and all I would do, if I continued, would be to melt further in going over all the fantastic imagery again. Like the whole brain "sections" paragraph - in reading it over, I was struck by how crazy an idea it is, but it was revealing about Rose in an odd way. It's nothing short of brilliant. Just like this story. :DAuthor's Response: You are far too kind! -blushes-
I don't even know how to begin responding to this XD I'm so glad you enjoyed it, it's a piece I wrote ages ago but I only just dug it up again. I never realised drunkenness could be overly poetic either, but then I do have an odd mind XD
This feels like an inadequate response to such a nice review, but thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it. :D Report Review
Bravo. I loved this.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Report Review
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