Reading Reviews for The Coffee Shop
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Thursday

4th May 2014:
Howdy! I discovered your story en route to R&R-ing all the Golden Paw nominees - a quest I'm quite glad to have set myself after reading so many excellent pieces so far.

Your story is incredibly unique! I love that you have given your observer a job I have never seen before in fic (but that must SURELY exist) and I love the way you developed the romance and the characters entirely through his descriptions and recollections. I thought the way you also interjected the comparisons the barista made between himself and the young man and the young woman and his daughter to be well done and occasionally amusing as well.

Throughout the piece your word choice was particularly strong as it remained both consistently in-character for the barista, but also helped clearly paint an image of the goings on of the shop, its workings, and the actions and expressions of those within it.

A delightful read! Good luck in the voting!

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Review #2, by atellam Thursday

22nd July 2012:
Jasmine! I just wanted to let you know that I feel as emotionally invested as the barista, and I do wish to know how it ends... *hint* an update would be lovely *hint*

On another note, I'm so glad this won story of the month. It's brilliant and deserves far more recognition. You're a brilliant writer and your descriptions leave me breathless. I love the lack of dialogue. It just makes it all the more dreamy and as if you're a fly on the wall to their lives.

Wonderful, wonderful job, love. Truly, your writing is flawless.

- Adele. :)

Author's Response: That's lovely that you feel emotionally invested in this! I assure you that you will soon find out what happens - I just need to find the time to write! I really do want to get the next part out very soon. That's a promise.

You're absolutely lovely in saying that. I was absolutely stoked and extremely humbled that I won and I still can't believe it, to be perfectly honest. I'm glad you thought this story was worthy!

Your review is amazing. Thank you!
Jasmine.


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Review #3, by Beeezie Thursday

18th July 2012:
I read this chapter awhile ago, and I kept meaning to come back and review it, but I just haven't been able to find the time. However, once the second challenge was announced, this story popped into my head, and I knew I had to take advantage of the opportunity. :)

I'm continuing to love this story. Your prose was - as always - beautiful. I don't even like coffee, really, but I was drawn into your description in the first few paragraphs in particular even more so than usual. I can almost smell the coffee, and I suddenly really want to be there, typing away to do my part in the House Cup. :P It sounds absolutely lovely.

I also feel like you're continuing to show the barista's character in small, subtle ways. I'm not sure I'd say that you're developing it, exactly, because that isn't really the point of this (or at least, it doesn't seem that way to me), but you're also not just rehashing the same things over and over again. The story doesn't feel stale; I love the way you mentioned the teenage boy who's just started working there and the girl's reaction to him, both because it helped really bring the story and the barista to life and because it helped to segue into Molly again.

Hmm. I guess one way to put it might be that you're developing the story more than the barista? That's the way it's coming off to me, anyway, and I think it fits the story well.

The way you've developing Molly and the young man's relationship is perfect. I feel invested in it. The barista is as well, and maybe part of my being invested is just because he is, but I think that the bigger reason is that you've crafted a story in which there are subtle little things that I can't always even identify that make the characters feel dynamic and alive. You've drawn me into the barista's pov with your writing, so much so that I feel what he feels - that's difficult to do, and not surprisingly, you've done it beautifully.

I loved this chapter. Thank you.

Author's Response: That is so sweet that you thought of this story for the challenge. There are hundreds of stories out there and the fact that you thought of this means a lot. So thank you!

Want to hear a little secret? I'm not a huge coffee fan, either. I love the smell, I like going in coffee shops and there is just this warmth about them that I cannot describe. I have tried my best to encapsulate that here and the fact that you actually wanted to be there and that you could almost smell the coffee is just... wow. I wanted readers of this to really get a feel for the coffee shop and to actually hear someone say that they have is such a huge compliment. You have n oidea.

I'm glad you liked the young boy and young girl! If you squint, the young girl is actually mentioned very briefly in one of the earlier chapters. I'm not sure that I am developing the story more than the barista, I just liked having a tiny subplot developing in the background. I think that it will help me later on in a later chapter, but honestly? I just liked the little story between them. I'm glad you did, too!

That second last paragraph of yours - I don't know what to say in response to that. So I won't say anything.

Don't thank me! Thank YOU for leaving such a thoughtful review. It means so much.

Joop.


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Review #4, by SilentConfession Monday

18th July 2012:
I've seen this story a few times and i've always thought that i should read it, so i've finally clicked on it so see what it's about. It reminds me of this song i head once by Landon Pigg (isn't his last name incredible? :P) Anyway, it's just about a coffee shop love and as i read this i couldn't help but be reminded of it.

One thing i was incredibly impressed with was how this story was told through the barista's eyes and yet it's not really his story, it's happening in his shop, but the story isn't his and i think you've done an excellent job at capturing that. I think that it makes it better actually because he notices things that no one else does and there is this richness in his voice and narrative that if it was from Molly's perspective or the man's perspective that would have been lost.

I really loved Molly here. She's such a great character and i wish there was more stories of her that didn't make her a Percy puppet. But i can already tell that she's this strong vibrance to her that makes her her own person. You've done an excellent job at her execution because i feel drawn to her which is exactly how you've written her to be.

I'm glad i clicked on this because this is fantastic. I'm favourting it because i'll have to come back and read the rest later on! Great job!

Author's Response: Oh, wow. I just looked up Landon Pigg's song (agreed, his last name is awesome!) and as I was reading it, I was blown away. I love it and I can really relate it to this story. And that doesn't happen very often. I'm not a huge fan of finding songs that relate to certain aspects of fanfiction, but this is just incredible. Thanks for referring it to me!

The barista has been well received and I am absolutely ecstatic about that. Originally, this was supposed to be told through the young man's eyes and the barista's character appeared out of nowhere. I'm glad that you enjoy his character and that you feel that he can notice things no one else does - that is a huge compliment.

Molly is very stereotyped in fanfiction. I'm not happy when she is simply thought of as "Percy's daughter" and no more. She is often pushed to the sidelines and I tried to explore her character how I saw her, just a regular girl that you might see everyday in the crowd. I'm glad you like her.

Thank you so much for reviewing, and for favouriting!
Joop.


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Review #5, by ms4aisa Thursday

13th July 2012:
great great story!! :) I love how special it's written and I love the content! and your writing :D
keep your good work up, and update as soon as possible :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for saying so! I'm glad you think this is special, that is so kind of you to say.

I hope that I will update soon! I have the next part all planned out, it's just a matter of writing it down.

Thank you so much for your review,
Joop.


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Review #6, by Jchrissy Monday

25th May 2012:
I think this was a really intriguing first chapter! Your descriptive words really make the scene feel alive. It's not much action, but most first chapters aren't. I'm excited to continue reading!!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for saying so! I was going for intrigue in the first chapter, I didn't want to give too much away.

The descriptions are hard but enjoyable to write. I never know if I'm doing too much or too little so when someone like you tells me that they made the scene 'feel alive', I can't help but sit here in a bit of awe. That is such a huge compliment, thank you so much for saying that!

You're right, there isn't much action in the first chapter. I wanted this story to unfold slowly and it is difficult holding the action back, but it's a fun challenge. And I'm glad that it didn't stop you from leaving a review!

Thank you so much,
Joop.


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Review #7, by Aspidistra Tuesday

2nd May 2012:
I'm sooo glad I clicked on your story.

The amount of detail you've packed into this chapter is phenomenal; I was able to get a clear picture of what was going on. I'm really liking the barista and how he notices/narrates the story without dialogue - it adds a little bit of mystery about the man and woman.

All in all, a very beautiful story; I was smiling the whole time I was reading it :)

On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: And I thought that the overload of description in this was going to be my downfall. It means so much that you said you have a clear picture of what's going on! That is one of the nicest things you could say to a writer - all I ever want my readers to do is be able to 'see' what is going on while they are reading, so I'm stoked that you were able to!

The omission of dialogue is something that I quite like, but I am never sure about readers. I know how daunting it can be to look at a long chapter and see no quotation marks. I'm glad that you thought it worked, though!

This story does have some mystery in it. I hope that you are able to make up your own mind about the young man and woman and fill in the blanks yourself. I think that's half the fun while reading a story.

Thanks so much for your extremely kind review! I'm glad that I was able to make you smile.

Joop.


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Review #8, by ruby_slippers Thursday

13th March 2012:
Yay! Hope! I love the quiet simplicity of this story and how it really lets the characters and the story itself shine.

Author's Response: Yes, there is hope for the two, finally!

I sometimes wonder if I have made this a little TOO slow and simple, so it's always nice when a reader tells me otherwise.

Thanks so much for your review,
Joop.


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Review #9, by Secret Santa V Wednesday

21st December 2011:
Oh, I can't wait until you update this! (Sorry, as an author I frequently get a little annoyed when people say that because grr, I'm doing my best here, but in the least-pressure-est way possible, I am really eager to read on.)

You have such fantastic talent. I hope you know that. I am really looking forward to reading some of your other stories. If this is any indication, you won't even need to ask who I am because you'll say, "Hmm... [username] has added me as a favorite author and has favorited half my stories." I really hope that you don't just mind me annoying.

This chapter was also amazing, and for a few reasons. First, I think that your flow through this has been absolutely fabulous. You slowly but surely build on what's happened in previous chapters, in a way that flows naturally and holds the reader's (or at least, this reader) interest. I just absolutely adore this piece.

I continue to love the narrative of the barista. His philosophy on being friendly, the comment about the boy with the baggy pants, how he hurried to make the young man's coffee... he's a likable and fairly uncomplicated narrator, which is perfect for this story.

I was wondering how using him as the PoV would work out once Molly and the young man began to actually interact, and so far, it works beautifully. I saw your review response, and you said you were worried about whether the focus on the barista's character would distract from Molly and the young man, and I just want to say that... I mean, it doesn't, really, and the ways in which it does don't detract from the story, they add to it. Stories about Molly II (or, well, a next-gen girl, anyway) bumping into a guy and falling in love with him are a dime a dozen. They can be well-executed. They can be amazing. They can be different in their own, lovely, amazing way.

But they're not unique like this.

Using the barista gives you a terrific way of building Molly and the young man's relationship from the ground up. There's no PoV switching, and the fact that the barista is noticing their interactions makes perfect sense in the context of the shop. The choice you made to use his voice has actually in a lot of ways allowed you to explore the beginning of the relationship between Molly and the young man more closely than you probably would have been otherwise, because he's noticing both of their reactions in a way that they themselves probably wouldn't. And then you'd end up perspective switching, and then it would be longer, and not half the story that it is now. (In my opinion. Though I'm sure it would still be lovely, because you wrote it.)

I adore this story so much. Thank you for writing it, and I can't wait for the next chapter.

I am giving this chapter a 10/10. I don't think that I have ever given any chapter on this site a 10/10 before... if I have, it was only once or twice. (I am conservative with my ratings.) And I've reviewed hundreds of chapters, so that means this beats out hundreds of other chapters by other writers.

I seriously love this story. Next month I will strongly campaign for it to be the story of the month. (By which I mean, I will write out a strongly worded reason as to why I think it should win.)

Author's Response: Rather than annoying me, your reviews are definitely pushing me to start writing the next part! I am going to get started on it after dinner tonight. And that, I promise. Hopefully I will have it ready by the time the queue reopens once more!

And you are not annoying at all. To think that you want to add me to your favourite authors is overwhelming. Thank you!

Flow is something I am concerned with this, so it's a relief that you say it works. I have been scared that it is much too slow so it's so nice when a review tells me otherwise.

I am slightly ashamed to admit that I wish I knew the barista in real life. He is just the epitome of someone who has small things but is happier than most people. I strive to be like one day and perhaps that is why I enjoy writing him so much.

Your review has really boosted my confidence with this, particularly what you say about the barista. His POV is so much fun to write from and given the lack of response on this story (which has not taken me by surprise in the least), it is so hard to know whether what I am doing is the right thing. So it's just so nice for you to reassure me that, yes, I am not totally stuffing this up.

I can't believe you gave this a 10/10. I'm horrible at taking compliments but just... yeah. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It means a lot that you would want to nominate for this the SotM and just... wow.

Joop.


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Review #10, by Secret Santa V Tuesday

21st December 2011:
I'm back!

Okay, I still love this story. As a concept, it's sweet and interesting. However, your execution pushes it way over the top from a good story to an amazing and unique story. I can't do it this month because then you might know who I am, but I am definitely nominating this for the Gryffindor story of the month next month! It's just lovely.

I love the way that include just enough information about the barista to really pull us into his world without giving us his life story. I often dislike it when people try to give the "This is who I am" thing in stories, because I end up feeling like it comes across awkward and uncomfortable. You just drop us into days in his life and treat them like normal days in his life, and expect us to go along with it, and I LOVE that style of writing.

I loved the opening paragraphs of this chapter. (Well, and the middle ones, and the closing ones...) Just by describing his reaction to the customers and his employees, you're really getting across to us who he is as a person and how much he likes his job. None of it distracts from Molly and the young man, however - they just fit seamlessly into your narrative. It's so lovely. I love it.

I'm sorry. I'm blathering and repeating myself. You're probably thinking, "My other secret santa is so much better than you, Secret Santa V, they are eloquent and you just fall over your words."

Basically, I really, really love this story.

Author's Response: You would really consider nominating this for the Gryffindor story of the month? Wow, that is just... I never imagined that any of my stories would ever get that honour. I am floored by that. It definitely gives me incentive to get started on the next part, though!

What you wrote about the barista has to be one of the nicest things I have ever read in one of my reviews. It is exactly the type of thing I would say to a writer whose writing I really admire and for someone to say it to me is just... wow. Double wow.

It's a relief that the barista doesn't distract you from Molly and the young man. I think I have gone heavier on the barista part of this than I originally intended, but it's hard not to because he's a lovely character to write.

And, oh, you. You're not blathering or repeating yourself and are every bit as eloquent as anyone who has ever reviewed me.

Thank you so much!
Joop.


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Review #11, by Secret Santa V Monday

18th December 2011:
(I don't just want to be generic secret santa, so I decided to give myself a cool nickname.)

So, greetings from your secret santa! You said that you'd specifically like reviews on this story, so I thought I'd start here - and whoa, am I glad I did. This was brilliant.

Where do I start?

I really loved the way the barista's voice came across. It was little things in your narrative - the way he thinks about customers at the beginning, or his calling Molly "a pretty little thing," as two examples - that really make his voice strong. Despite that, you've managed to make the fact that the story is really centered around two other people rather than him work well. I don't feel like his voice distracts from Molly or the young man - in some ways, it puts the focus more firmly on them.

I also loved your descriptions. They really made me feel like I was there, especially with how cold it's been here this past week. Your description of the scene - from the smell of the coffee to the bell above the door - left me wanting to go into that coffee shop and get some coffee. Or just stand there and appreciate the atmosphere.

Ooh, I am really enjoying this! When secret santas are over I will need to add it to my favorites.

Author's Response: Very cool nickname, indeed. Hee.

The barista's voice has been something I have struggled with. I almost contemplated rewriting the entire thing from his POV so it's always such a nice feeling to read that a reader thinks his voice shines through. I absolutely adore writing him and I like that you picked up on the little things about him that I so love writing about!

I'm also glad that his character doesn't distract you from the real story, the one about Molly and the young man. I was scared about that so it's nice that you think it works!

That last paragraph of your review is just... that floored me. It really did. I don't know how to respond. I try so hard with my descriptions and for you, a reader, to come in here and tell me that you could almost feel the atmosphere is just... humbling. It's amazing what the power of words can do and how they can connect people. Wow.

Thanks so much! God, I sound like a broken record, but it's the absolute truth! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Joop.


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Review #12, by Secret Santa *hands you a candy cane* Monday

17th December 2011:
*SINGS* Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Writing up this review? Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Typing up this review? Well, hello there! It's me again! Your Secret Santa! I hope your enjoying your treats! :D

Woah! Let's start with that. Woah! This was amazing. Seriously! How can you think your stories aren't interesting? I was interested throughout the whole chapter. What a stroke of genius! To use the barista's point of view (sorta) throughout the whole thing. Shall it be his point of view in later chapters as well or will we hear from Molly? I assume the girl was Molly because the story is about her afterall.

I find it very original that it's in a coffee shop, the barista is the one that's going to show us his vision of her and everyone around them. I really liked that! The transition you make analyzing each person was wonderful. It really gave us a good look into a coffee shop. Plus, I donít drink coffee but I frequently visit Starbucks so I understood the images. However, without visiting Starbucks I would have seen everything that you laid out for us as well. You're excellent at pinpointing the tiniest bit of detail so we can delve into the location of the story in our minds or in our rooms and say 'I see Molly, I see this man with his chin propped up on one hand, I can hear the tinkling of coins as she rummages in her pocket for them.'

How wonderful!

The ending captivated me:

The young man's clear green eyes, once so hollow and empty are now bright, filled with curiosity as he stares at the door the young woman exited through moments ago.

What a transition just by seeing Molly. It's like she brings a small light into the world of others. The barista clearly enjoys her company and this man obviously wants to enjoy her company. Or maybe not, maybe he's just drawn in by her beauty. That's the wonderful mystery of this chapter, you have laid it out so I'm thinking 'Is this about an actual relationship or is it not? Is it just one from afar or is it something more?' I really can't wait to find out though.

So, here's my question:
What made you write from the view of the barista and what gave you that idea?

Secret Santa outtt! :D

Author's Response: Is that a rhetorical question? Of course I'm enjoying my treats!

I was scared with this one because it just seems so slow and descriptive so you have no idea how much of a relief it is for a reader to tell me that they enjoy this. I absolutely love writing this and it's so nice that you liked reading it!

The barista was not actually planned. It was originally supposed to be from the young man's POV but I just started writing about the barista and then his character took a life of its own. I'm glad you think that he works! You won't see any chapters from the young man's POV, nor Molly's. I have thought long and hard about it and I'm going to keep it from the barista's POV. Not to worry, you will know what happens to the young man and Molly, though!

Oh, wow. I don't even know how to respond to that. To think that you can actually see what I'm trying to ask you to see is just... phenomenal. I'm absolutely floored by that. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I try so hard with detail and it's just so humbling when someone tells me that they think it works.

The relationship will most definitely progress throughout the chapters. There is a time lapse in between each chapter and I suppose I wanted to see how a relationship is viewed from another person's POV.

Answer to your question: As I said before, the barista was not actually planned! I found myself writing the first part of this story and I wanted to describe the coffee shop. I started writing about the barista and I was initially going to make a transition from the barista to the young man or perhaps have the young man watching the barista, but my fingers thought differently and, before I knew it, I had plotted out an entire character for the barista. I've gotten his entire life story written out in a document, it has more detail than I will ever need but I have really worked hard on his character and I really do love writing him. The reader will never know his entire story but I hope that I can add in small details that make you appreciate him for the man he is.

Thank you so much for your review! So, so, so much!

Joop.


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Review #13, by LilyFire Wednesday

6th July 2011:
Aww.I love it still. It's increadbly cute. This can't be the end, I want to know if anything happens!
I have a question for you: Are the young mans eyes green or brown? In the first chapter, you have them as green, but in the others they are brown...
Keep writing Joop!
~Lily

Author's Response: This isn't the end! I just haven't had that much time to write lately - I am aiming to get something written in the next few days, hopefully something by the weekend. I have this story planned out so it is just a matter of finding time to sit down and continue to write. I have started Part 4, though! It just needs to be finished.

Sharp eyes on your part! His eyes should be brown, the green was a mistake - I have corrected it in my notes but I haven't updated the changes to the archive version. I will soon, though. Thanks for reminding me!

I can't believe you gave me three reviews, that is so sweet of you. Thanks so much!
Joop.


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Review #14, by LilyFire Tuesday

6th July 2011:
Oh my goodness. I love this story! I love how it's from the barista's point of view still. It's lovely and cute and sweet and...yeah. I don't even mind that no one really even has a name, this story is just so adorable.
I love how the young man is just watching her in a non-stalkerish way, though I do hope he at least says hello to her soon.
Anyway, I love this story!
~Lily

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you don't mind that no one has been named! I really debated over whether I wanted to include names and more backgrounds on the characters but I like the way it is and it's such a relief to know that someone else does, too!

He does say hello to her soon, don't worry. He may be shy but he is smitten and I think love does always triumph in these types of situations.

Thanks again for your lovely review!
Joop.


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Review #15, by LilyFire Monday

6th July 2011:
I've finally made it to read this, and I love it. I love the characters too. I'm going to assume the carefree girl is Molly, since this is a story about her :)
The barista is great too. Is it all from his point of view? I must know what was wrong with the young man! I hope you eventually say.
Anyway, this is a great start to the story!
~Lily

Author's Response: Lily! Thank you so much for the reviews that you left me!

I'm glad you like the characters and, yes, you guess right - the girl is Molly. I'm not sure why I didn't include her name but it just ended up being that way while I wrote it.

The entire story is going to be from the barista's point of view and I'm glad you like him so much because I had a lot of fun working with his character.

I'm not sure if I will reveal what is wrong with the young man - I think it is more about the story between him and Molly, but I will think about it.

Thank you so much!
Joop.


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Review #16, by fuzzylogic Tuesday

29th April 2011:
Naww, that was sweet. I love how you've made this so original; it's going nice and slowly too. I hope the 'young man' gets the courage to talk to the girl soon :) Awaiting the next chapter excitedly!

Author's Response: 'Sweet' was what I was going for, so it's good that you thought it so!

It's nice to know that this hasn't bored you. I was initially really scared to post this because I thought it was a bit too abstract and too slow. But it just begged to be written down and I don't regret posting it all. It is reviews like this that give me the confidence to write more and I know that I made the right choice in posting. I'm glad I haven't lost you so far!

Our young man will speak to the girl soon. The girl is Molly II, by the way. It isn't mentioned anywhere but in the summary. But you are allowed to believe she is whoever you wish her to be. She is Molly II in my head. I also have first names for the young man and the barista but I have chosen not to disclose them. You can imagine them however you want.

The next chapter should be up in the next few weeks! It's about halfway done and I'll post it as soon as I am happy with it.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Joop.


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Review #17, by fuzzylogic Monday

29th April 2011:
Wow. I really like this. I liked seeing the world through the eyes of the barista, it was a welcome change and a nice perspective. Some sentences are a bit awkward though, like:

As she walks away from the counter towards the door, the barista greets his next customer with a smile, a young mother whose young daughter stands quietly beside her mother, her young, wide eyes taking in the posters on the walls of the coffee shop.

I think the word young is used too many times. Sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh, only helpful :)

So far I'm very interested in this story, and will continue reading. I like your characters a lot :)

Author's Response: I like writing the barista more than I originally thought I would, so it's nice to know that the readers like him, too!

And don't apologise for giving me feedback! Every little bit is helpful. That sentence IS awkward. I don't know how I missed it. Maybe I just read over this too many times. I definitely agree that the word 'young' is used too many times in that.

I know that other sentences aren't perfect. This is pretty raw and I know it has imperfections. So, again, please give me as feedback as you can! You're not being harsh at all.

I'm glad that I've managed to capture your interest! And thank you for saying you like my characters.

Thanks so much for your lovely review.

Joop.


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Review #18, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Monday

4th April 2011:
This was so, so lovely ♥

The number of times I scroll through 'recently added' and actually find what I don't realise I'm looking for isn't great. Sometimes the Ron/Hermione missing moment appears amidst everything, sometimes the guilty pleasure of Remus/Sirius and sometimes, a Molly II story that I can actually stomach.

I go into reading every one that I do with the utmost caution; it's hugely arrogant and selfish but people who write her in what I consider the wrong way grate on me. You most certaiiinly did it in the most wonderfully right way.

To start, I love how all the dialogue is reported. When I was younger, I used to be good at it but over the past three years or so, I've lost the knack so anyone who pulls it off as you did here goes right in my good books. It really helped emphasise the simplicity of the moment, of the barista and his world and this snapshot of his morning.

Using his perspective (kind of) to tell this is also a stroke of genius, by the way. I really, really enjoyed the way you did that and how this neutral set of eyes saw everything. His character was wonderfully shaped and the way he perceives the other two characters is equally as well crafted.

I adore the way you've characterised Molly. Almost as soon as you'd started to describe her, even from the line of her almost tripping up the step (been there so many times), she became really vivid to me on a visual scale and in terms of her character itself. This isn't especially long yet I got a real for her and the OC, who I felt a real jolt of pity and wonder about.

Oh gosh, rambling. I do this when I like something. I'm a really annoying reviewer so I'll stop. Favourited - I absolutely adore it and I hope other people will come to see how lovely this is set to be. I'm really interested to see how and where you take this from here. It was absolutely lovely and I'm really rather jealous of you for thinking of it first :P

- Rachel

Author's Response: I'm so glad that this lived up to your expectations! I know exactly how you feel. I often go through stories and find one that looks amazing but I approach it with trepidation because I know how easy it is for a story to look good on the surface but not deliver. And then the stories that do deliver leave me in awe. To think that you thought this story was one of those stories is amazing. Really amazing.

It's interesting that you mentioned Molly II stories that "[you] can actually stomach". I have not read too many but from what I have read, I know that a lot of authors just label her as "Percy's daughter" and don't really give her substance. I wanted to change that when I wrote this.

I didn't even realise that I had no dialogue in this until I finished the first chapter. So I don't know if it was a conscious decsion to not explicitly write the dialogue out and, instead, describe it, but I'm glad that you thought it worked!

I had a lot of fun with the barista. I loved crafting him and I know that my image of what he looks like will be very different to yours and I doubt you would be able to guess his first name (or, at least, the first name that I envision him to have), but I don't think that matters. It's more what he sees, what he thinks and it's nice to know that you enjoyed him! Using his perspective was not part of the original plan. I originally was going to have this from the male OC's character's perspective but once I started describing the coffee shop, the barista came from nowhere. I really enjoy writing from his perspective!

Thank you for saying that about Molly! It was hard to characterise her without the aid of dialogue so I was a bit worried. I also was worried that I made her a bit... idealistic, I suppose? I mean that in the sense that she was a bit too carefree and too flighty, so it's so reassuring to know that you liked her!

I'm glad that you pity the OC. (From a writer's perspective, that means that I have you invested in this which is awesome!) I do, too. I don't know what has made him so sad but something tells me that he won't be too sad for very long.

And you are definitely not an annoying reviewer! This is probably one of the nicest reviews I have ever gotten. And I'm blushing at your closing comments. I often read a story and think, "Now, why didn't I think of writing this before this author did?" and to think that this story is one of those for you is just... there are no words for it.

Thank you so much for your review! Hopefully my next chapter won't disappoint you (it should be up soon!)

Joop.


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