Wow, this was fantastic!
I love the idea of this story, it's so completely unique and unlike anything I have ever read before.
Really, really wonderful-update soon! 10/10 Report Review
Wow. I don't think I can ever live up to the lovely reviews you've left me, but I'll make a sorry attempt. I think "Wow" is a good starting point, don't you?
What you have here is something one hundred percent, totally, gobsmackingly (why yes, I did just make up a word) original. We've all wondered what magic can do for big things like life or death, but even with this huge potential sitting right in front of us, we don't stray much farther from resurrection stones and ghosts. So even if the writing was terrible, the characters OOC, you would still have me right there. Luckily, you displayed talent in those areas as well.
I am genuinely excited by all the flaws your character displays this first chapter. It's nerdy of me, but it's true. To have someone saying that they did it for the money, that they aren't grossed out or shying away from the moral issues of creating a person that's not a person. . . It's extremely appealing, to me. Gives the story and the character a zest that will make it that much better.
And then there's the twist of these last three sentences: "I did it for the dying people and their families. I did it so I could help those of us that can feel. I never realized that you’d be able to feel too." Ok, so, a lot of morality there! What a character. What a character.
Brilliant opening chapter, by the way. You mentioned enough details to convince me you're serious (Neovitite, selling musical instruments!) but didn't throw information at me. And all the while, you dangled enough in front of me (Aurelia!) to make me want to read more, badly.
No critique, no suggestions, nothing really extraordinary here. . . You're going to have to take me for my word that I NEVER get this excited over the first chapter of a story. Or even a story, period. This has a lot of potential, no doubt about it. You mentioned on your author's page that you're focusing on two other stories that aren't this one, but I hope it's still somewhere in the back of your mind! 10/10. Report Review
It's amazing. Never read anything like this before. Very unique and addictive. Once you start reading, nothing can't stop you. Except the end of the chapter, of course.
Aaron seems to be a smart boy, I mean, he IS a smart boy, coming up with an idea like this. But he doesn't think about the consequences, like most of us don't.
And as you probably already figured out, I love your story. Can't wait to read more. :DAuthor's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much! I'm glad it's unique! The concept came to me randomly and I'm so happy the story that ensued is getting good feedback!
As you said, most of us don't even consider the consequences. Aaron is like most of us, just a bit more of a genius, considering he created life and all. ^_^
Thank you again for both the review and your flattery!
Liberty Report Review
I really thought you did well with this prologue. You gave enough detail to give us a feel for the character and to intruige us. I like the idea of a Wizard trying to 'Play God' it is not one I have ever considered before.
I thought this was well written and I really enjoyed it! Well done :) Trust me, it is better then my entry for the banner challenge :)
Hannah xAuthor's Response: Hey Hannah!
I'm glad it's good for a prologue. It's certainly seems to be working as a hook. The plot bunny was a bit random, but I'm glad the idea came. I was just thinking about human nature when the concept came to me.
I'm so glad you liked it! And your entry for the banner challenge isn't bad! It's a good concept, and I'm sure it'll be a great one-shot...once you edit it. ^_^ Sorry if I'm being cheeky. I'm tired, if that's an excuse..
Thanks for your review and the flattery!
Liberty Report Review
Oh, you know what? I think I was reading about this story on the forums. I like it! I hope it will continue on soon because this is actually a very interesting read. I usually don't like first person, but for this story, it works!
Great job, can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Hi!
You probably did, teehee. I've been asking for help with this plot bunny forever. Mostly about titles and such. I'm glad you like it despite the first person, and I'm even happier you plan on reading more!
Thanks so much for the review and the compliment!
Liberty Report Review
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