Reading Reviews for Sometimes It Hurts Instead
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by severus_lover Hugo

9th November 2011:
This was beautiful. I loved it! Scor gave Rose the same ring?! That's messed up. Nice though, the best eye- opening moment I've read in a while that made me pause lol. A bit more description would've been nice. Faved!

Kay~

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me. It's my favorite fic that I've written ^_^ I'm really glad you like it. Thank you for reviewing :D

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Review #2, by leannemariesnape Hugo

22nd July 2011:
5/5

This is such a sad fic, too. Very well written and interesting. I liked the characterisation of Scorpius and Hugo, and the lyrics were incorporated very well. Gramatically and spelling- wise perfect! :)

Author's Response: Thank yew for your review :D And the sweet comments.

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Review #3, by Coley Hugo

12th May 2011:
Hi there! Nicole here from the forums for your requested review. I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been absolutely swamped.

So first off, the song was perfect. I loved how you used it and how you incorporated the lyrics into the piece. I'm not very partial to song-fics, but this one really worked and I really enjoyed it.

Although, in the first paragraph you do seem to have a little bit of a problem getting into the story, with your flow I mean, things seem a little staggered and they don't flow as well as the rest of the piece. For example, you could have done something like this instead;

'Hugo's face was nearly as red as his hair, his eyes puffy from crying. He slid his hands over his face, letting out small sobs. In his hand was a picture of Scorpius and himself; Hugo's small arms were wrapped around the Malfoy's neck and the two were staring into each others eyes.'

However, this is just a suggestion. You don't seem to have this 'problem' with the rest of the piece, the rest is fine, and apart from a few tiny grammatical errors, everything was really good.

I would like to also point out how well you used the flashbacks. I thought they were used brilliantly and really added to the bittersweet effect of it, very lovely. Also, I really loved how you described Hugo and Scorpius in the picture, it was really cute and you done it so well.

Overall, it was very enjoyable, I'll have to have a look at some of your other stuff on the archive. It was short, but sweet - or should I say bittersweet - but it didn't seem rushed at all which can sometimes happen in one-shots of this length. I can really see why it one first place, well done! Apart from working on the flow and little grammatical errors, I really can't find anything else to critique.

Nicole

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to critique this =D

First, I want to say it means a lot that you like this. Most people say that it's not a good pairing, but I'd have to say it's my favorite :) I'

Thank you for pointing those things out, soon i'll go back through it and make corrections ;) I'll be requesting again =D


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Review #4, by Curiosity is not a sin Hugo

27th April 2011:
Hey there! curiosity is not a sin here from the HPFF forums. So sorry for the delay with the review - RL got in the way :/

Ahhh I love the artist whose made your banner's graphics :D

This is such a sad story :'( My heart is torn - Hugh is so cute, but I'm such an avid Rose/Scorpius fan too D:

I think your summary can definitely be improved. The grammar for it isn't particularly effective, and you've also put 'hurt' twice in the space of four very short lines which makes it seem a little simple in terms of writing. Maybe a snippet from your story as the summary instead? And congrats on this fic winning first place!

Your writing is beautiful. I love the emotions that you've put in to this character because it makes it so much more real, and I love how torn Hugh is as well.

The song fic was incorporated perfectly in to the one-shot! Well done on it! Very impressive :D I think maybe you should try to reduce how much spacing you have between lines; there seems to be a double 'enter' between each line and it breaks up the fic more than it really needs to :)

Characterisations are great, as is the plot :D 'That horrible woman, that stole away the love of his life.' That line seems a little harsh and ooc to me? :/ Would he refer to his sister as 'that woman' because it essentially makes him an outsider?

But a great fic! A few minor improvements, and you've got something brilliant for your collection :D Keep up the super work!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. To the 'that woman' line: Hugo was feeling hurt, and he felt like she'd just torn him apart. He didn't want to know her as his sister anymore, so this is why it says 'that woman' -sadface- D:

:) I'm glad that you liked it. I'm more of a Hugo/Scorpius fan than ScoRose :D Anyways, thank you so much :)


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Review #5, by ToReleaseMe Hugo

24th April 2011:
Hey, this is ToReleaseMe from the Rainy Day Challenge. I'm happy to let you know that you've earned 1st place in my challenge, so congrats! I quite liked the story, although it was very different from the usual pieces I read. The Hugo/Scorpius pairing really caught me off guard at first, and when Rose was then thrown into it I was completely blown away. The grammar and spelling was nearly perfect (thanks for that haha) and overall it was a nice change from the normal stories on this site.
As promised, I will review 5 chapters of your choice, add 3 stories of your choice to my favorites and add you as a favorite author :]
So choose which stories I shall review/add and you're all set! Thank you for entering this wonderful story!

Author's Response: :D REALLY?! I won? Aww, that means so much to me. And I'm sooo glad that you liked it, because it's my favorite one-shot that I've written in a long time. :) I hope it made you happy(even though it's a sad fic) I'll messange you soon on the forums, because I'm leaving soon. Happy Easter, love, and thank you for the WONDERFUL challenge :D

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Review #6, by BrightStar Hugo

12th April 2011:
Hey! BrightStar here with your review.

Really touching piece, I really felt for Hugo. I love the song, and though I am not into slash, I think this pairing is really interesting.

Grammar and spelling seem to be in order, no worries there!

One main bit of cc - I would have liked some context. Even if not about their entire relationship, but how their relationship interacted with the world around them - what they were like as a couple and how they were seen, Rose's relationship to the couple, etc. Basically - how this all came about, in a broader sense than "Scor loved someone else". Still great fic.

THough I felt for Hugo - i didn't feel as if I knew him. Maybe that's my problem, but I'm afraid I dont know anything about him other than the fact he was hurt.

One other thing - you said Scor was the only person who loved him. I really would have loved to know why (coming back to context), as Ron and Hermione always seemed they would be very caring ,supportive parents.

Otherwise, well done on the really enjoyable (though it was sad) fic.

Thanks for requesting!

- B x

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I guess I didn't put much into introducing Hugo because I know him very well. When it said that Scorpius was the only one that loved him, he meant in an physical relationship :) Thank you veryyy much for your help ^^ I really appriciate it! ~Sev~

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