Reading Reviews for The Wall
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by isjxhnu Teddy.

20th January 2012:
Very good, very well written, i really wish i would gte more of a image of Teddy tho..

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Review #2, by maskedmuggle Teddy.

8th August 2011:
Gah, I loved this! Another wonderful chapter! I thought I would hate Pru, if she was the reason why Teddy was ditching Victoire. But Pru is a very likeable character, because she manages to persuade Teddy to go talk to Victoire! Yay! I love romantic stories, and hopefully this is leaning towards a happy ending!

I also really liked Teddy's characterisation and thoughts in this! Very nicely done. We got to see that Teddy really did like Victoire. The idea of 'the wall' suits Victoire very much. A really lovely chapter!

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

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Review #3, by maskedmuggle Victoire.

8th August 2011:
Oh, I love Teddy/Victoire! This first chapter was really great! You definitely got across Victoire's emotions really well, I could really sympathise with her feeling so hurt. I also loved the conversation she had with Dom - her characterisation was great! I like how Victoire is tough, and Dom is more optimistic in a way. It was nice to see Dom encouraging Victoire in her relationship with Teddy.

I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter! A really well written chapter, very enjoyable.

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

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Review #4, by Akussa Teddy.

23rd May 2011:
Hi again!

Nice twist! It was a good second chapter, I liked it but felt it was too similar to the first one. What I mean is, you are writting this second chapter from another perspective, different characters so it should feel different, more personal or closer to the next main character's personality. But it doesn't. It feels exactly like the previous one and that turned me off a bit.

It was still a good chapter. I like the way you presented the twist and Teddy's side of the story. Also, very nice work on the spelling; I didn't spot any glaring errors! I hope you keep on writting, I want to know how this will end for Teddy and Victoire!!


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Review #5, by Akussa Victoire.

23rd May 2011:

First of all, I love how you present Victoire (and by extention, Fleur), as someone on the colder side of the emotional spectrum; very different from everything else we read. It works well and is very believable.

I like the flow of this chapter; the descriptions dialogue roll together nicely and give a nice, special feel to this chapter. I can't wait to read what comes next after such a great opening !!


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Review #6, by Ms V Teddy.

3rd May 2011:
I like this story a lot. Keep writing :)
The chapters are really short though.

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Review #7, by DobbysSock Victoire.

19th April 2011:
Hello :)

First off, I loved this! I've only read a few Next Gen fics but this one has really grabbed my attention! I didn't catch any spelling or grammatical errors so you're all set there.

It wasn't really long which was disappointing. If it's a short story, then I can understand why but if you're going to write a longer fic, then consider writing longer chapters.

I really don't have much else to say other than congrats on really pulling the reader in within the first few paragraphs :)


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Review #8, by Hyenni Victoire.

18th April 2011:
Hyenni101 from the forums here! :)

first things first: if this story doesn't have a happy ending, i will be very upset. just saying ;)

grammar: this was pretty goshdarn good overall! there was only this one that i found:
"Whatever I decide tonight was not the night to tell Teddy anything" would become "Whatever I decided, tonight was not the night to tell Teddy anything." Other than that, if you just make sure you proofread and perhaps get a friend/beta to read through it too, it'll just iron out any kinks you might have accidentally left in :D

characterisation: hmmm. we've only met Victoire and Dom, but i have to say - Victoire is just a little whiny. oh no, now i feel bad, but it's true. i can't really see any of the Weasley strength in her! if you perhaps just tone down the crying and make her put on a strong front - well, it would also fit in with the whole "emotions behind a wall" thing if she represses her sadness. but i think her resolve to fix everything is a redeemer, as it makes her much more stronger and likeable :D
i honestly dolike her, i just feel a little bit of an edit would help you out :)

flow: i felt the flow was okay - but i think you could perhaps slow it down, just a little bit. it just felt a little bit rushed. maybe you could add in a smaller scene, perhaps some sort of flashback or memory, just to let the reader really feel what it is she's lost. but, i loved your opening! it was sweet, sad and full of regret, and it fitted nicely together. just a little extension, perhaps, and it would be perfect!

areas of concern: you were worried about the emotion and characters; i already mentioned characters so - emotion! you really do get Victoire's regret across in this scene. it's extremely clear just how bad she feels about letting him go. i particularly like this line:
"tracing a trail of regret and guilt as they went."
very clear emotion in this line.

i liked it a lot, well done! and if you need me to review any other chapters or other stories of yours, don't hesitate to ask again :)


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Review #9, by loopyluna Victoire.

13th April 2011:
Hey, I'm really enjoying this so far! I have recently began reading more and more Teddy and Victoire stories, and well I saw that this one was written by you ... well, I thought I'd give it a go :P And I'm glad I did because so far ... this is awesome! :D
Please update soon!
Oh, and I love the banner :D

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Review #10, by WickedMind Victoire.

3rd April 2011:
Oh wow, i loved it so far, can't wait for the next chapter!!! I loved the way you described her, and how she feels, it's just great, and i liked even more, because i like next-gen stories that are not passed on Hogwarts ;D

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Review #11, by BrightStar Victoire.

3rd April 2011:
Hey! Really glad i read this, i really want to know more! please write more on it! i like the huge connection between them - for teddy and victoire, id say they were never apart as children, and as adults this would obviously have consequences! i really liked dom here, i always use younger sisters as the wise ones, dont know why!!! So yeah, really excited about this story! well done :)

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