Very sweet one-shot!
I really like what you did with your assigned tagline. This is such a bittersweet story and I think you did a good job in finding balance amongst the mix of emotions. Really well done!Author's Response: thanks so much, means a lot :3 Report Review
Hi, BrightStar with your review.
This was incredibly touching, and excellently written!
Coherence: It all flowed nicely, in a kind of dreamy way if that makes sense! THe pace was very well suited to the subject matter.
Characterization: Even though we don't know who these people were, you did a good job of protraying THIS characters reaction to the disease, trying to help, and their recovery.
Context: Personally, I love context in a story, it really could have lent something more here. However, the mystery around this was really compelling too!
Credibility: Well done, especially about the disease. I wasn't sure I was completely convinced why the could/couldnt get tha disease but you did a FAR better job explaining it than I could have. Considering jk rowling never seemed to give an answer to this, you did a great job here!
I really like this, and once more I am impressed with the way you can say, switch from someone a bit off-the-wall like Dom or Molly to this! Mark of a really impressive writer!
All formalities over, well done hun! *hug* Great being able to read your stories again x Report Review
Marlaa :'( you made me cry... it's so beautiful :'( i think i'm in love with you Author's Response: you DO love me. and i LOVE you :D thanks Report Review
Here to review swap :)
Aw, that was sweet and sad. I really like how it all began, especially with the view of cancer from a wizard, and the differences between her past life and her life with him. He, the optimistic one, I always enjoy that as well. It's very easy to be cliche in these types of fics and I think you handled it well, especially as he became sicker.
I almost wanted the end to feel a little more bittersweet. It was almost too light. I expected a some more grief though he died happy, before the optimistic note. I think also, that while it reads well now, you could make it even better by playing with some of syntax and varying it throughout the fic more. It's nice and slow right now, which is good, but I think you could emphasize certain points more.
Good read! :)Author's Response: hi!
thanks so much! Im glad that you liked it. I was given the quote for that challenged and the idea just kinda flew out :)
yeah, i guess me too, but the end was kinda written in a rush to get the heck out of the computer. Later then I thought it was alright, but i guessed it could improve. But thanks one everything you said about it being good and all :) Report Review
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