I totally thought I had already reviewed this chapter! Good thing I checked back to see if you had updated! Well one thing I can say for Vira is she is not one to be pushed around. I like the fact that when others try to intimidate her she turns it right back around on them, even Ginny who makes most people run and hide! Good job! Hope you update soon!Author's Response: Thanks. ^_^ I'm definitely hoping for enough free time soon for that. I have many updates I want to do. :] Report Review
Talk about a curve ball! First we find out that Vira and Lucius are intimate and now we discover that Draco and Vira had been/are intimate as well! At this point I am a little unsure of what I think a Vira. She is obviously strong willed and very much her own person. This is definitely getting more and more interesting.Author's Response: Haha yes. Vira is definitely unusual. It's hard to tell if she does it on purpose of if she just can't make up her mind.
I'm glad you're finding it interesting and I love reading your reactions to what's going on. ^^ Report Review
I find Vira's connection with Voldermort interesting. The fact that he 'speaks' with her is even more intriguing. Also I thought at first that the man that came to her room had been Draco not Lucius, that defiantly adds a twist. Is Draco upset because he thinks his father left his mother for a younger woman? Or does he like Vira?Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I love reading what you're thinking as you go along. It's nice to know what kind of effects events have on what you're thinking and on the questions you ask. Very helpful. ^^ Report Review
Very interesting beginning. You give the readers just enough information to know that she is part of a large plot and involved with a man, but other than that the reader knows nothing, but wants to find out more. I am looking forward to seeing where this story goes!Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. ^^ Report Review
Hello there :)
I think I've said this before, but creating an OC that isn't necessarily the hero and that we know causes trouble just for the fun of it, is hard for the reader to grow fond of, though I think you're pulling it off nicely. I even chuckled slightly at the argument she caused between Harry and Ginny!
Perfect characterization with Draco, he seems very realistic and with Harry too. At first it was a little hard for me to believe that Harry would be fantasizing about his enemy, but it does work into your story.
Once again, I didn't seem to spot any grammatical or spelling errors so bravo to that. This is a very good chapter and it flowed nicely. That's about all I can say, other than you're doing a great job with this :)
--DobbysSockAuthor's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it--and that I got you to laugh! :]
I love how devious she is--something that I could never do even if I wanted to, so writing her makes me giddy.
I know what you mean about Harry; I had a few reservations about it--the explanation is actually part of a prequel I'm writing, though it's nowhere near ready yet. I will try to find a way to explain it in a later chapter though. :]
Thanks so much for your reviews; they are very helpful. ^^ Report Review
Hello again :)
First off, I'd like to say that you are creating a really good OC here. You're showing the reader that she gets what she wants, and even though you've described her as not the feminine, she still attracts a lot of the male population.
Like I said in another review, I think you should add more to her thought process and what she's thinking about while she does what she does. She must have some thoughts on sleeping with both of the Malfoy men.
I didn't spot any grammatical or spelling errors and you had a good flow going with the story. Everyone seemed to be in character, though I never thought Harry was one to sneer. Other than that though, I enjoyed this chapter :)
--DobbysSockAuthor's Response: Thanks. :] Again I agree, it would be good to tell what she thinks about her actions. I'll definitely have to do that.
I also agree that "sneer" doesn't quite fit Harry. I'll have to think up another word. hmm.
Thanks again! Report Review
Hello there :)
First off, I was quite shocked to read that it was Lucius and not Draco who was in her room that morning. Bold move, though I thought it was a nice little twist. I love stories that have twists in them :)
Flow seems to be moving nicely and I'm not having trouble realizing which POV it it so that's good. As for characterization, try adding more to what Vira is thinking. We know slightly about her past, but what are her feelings about it? It'll help make her seem more real.
--DobbysSockAuthor's Response: :] I'm glad it wasn't difficult to understand the POV, I was a little worried about that. Thanks for the suggestion; the chapter is so long that it was difficult to read through and figure out what I could add. So it's appreciated. ^^
It's also nice to hear that you were shocked. ;] Report Review
Hello there :)
First off, I'd like to say I like how you hid character names in this chapter, it leaves the reader wanting more. The length isn't to long, which is good when it comes to a first chapter, though you might want to consider longer chapters as you get further into your story.
I didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors which was a plus :) I like how unique your OC is too. Not many people write an OC who isn't the hero.
So far the flow is fine, I'll know more though once I continue reading. You've started your OC off nicely, no complaints about characterization so far, it all seems to be starting off nicely :)
--DobbysSockAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad it has started off well. :] Report Review
i like the strong female lead. she takes what she wants. go vira.Author's Response: Thanks. :] I definitely love that about her, too. Report Review
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