Reading Reviews for Blood lines
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lizmusic45 Cecily Ailís Doherty

27th May 2012:
I kind of like this, just one suggestion, Your paragraphs while really well written, are super long, and there is nothing wrong with that, but some readers tend to skim paragraphs because they prefer a little space in between, just a thought, because I sometimes do the same thing too.

Anyway, I thought for a moment you were going with Olive Hornby for a moment and I thought that would have been cool, but I liked this a whole lot more, it's nice not to have it be done by Rose's POV, but someone else's so kudos to you.

I liked it very much.

Lizzie

Author's Response: hi liz! i'm glad you liked the story :)
i know i have formatting issues with pretty much all of my stories..
i'll figure out -eventually- how to do it ;-)
thanks so much for reading/reviewing!!

~marlita


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Review #2, by daliha Cecily Ailís Doherty

21st May 2012:
Hello so TAG!

Lol sorry I had to do that before I start I have to say that line about her wanting to sparkle, that was pure gold!

Besides that I like this we really get into her head but I feel like it reads too much like a monologue. Maybe a little but of description here and there?

But beside that I'm glad we found out a bit about her past but I feel like the last line smacks you in the face! Like I wish you would have explained the event a bit (in a flash back perhaps?)

All in all I liked it to see a normal student is refreshing. :)

Author's Response: hello:) thanks for taking the time to review my story! i looove cliffhangers and the last one is about Cecilia's past. What i want to do is have each chapter from a different point of view and fill the puzzle of their lives and their "dark" future..
right now i have a lot of things to do so i have left the story..but i'll definately write more:)
~marlita


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Review #3, by Moonyxluna Cecily Ailís Doherty

4th April 2012:
Review Tag!

You have a very intriguing start here with Cecilia's past, especially with the little cliffhanger at the end.

I have a suggestion as far as formatting. Actually two.
First, is your use of the italics. Using it puts an emphasis on the word, yes, but I almost felt as if you had used it too much here-- it got to the point that it was distracting, if that makes sense?
Also, make sure you are putting double spaces in between your paragraphs, it makes things a lot easier to read ;)

This was an interesting start, and even with her past it seems that Cecilia is able to stay mostly positive, and that she has a good couple friends that support her. I laughed when she used a silencing charm on her snoring friend! I wish I could do that to my boyfriend sometimes. :p

On the forums, there is a topic called "The OC Workshop" that is amazingly helpful when you are writing an original character. ((Story help/information -> writer's resources -> WR Archive -> OC Workshop)) They have a huge form that you fill out all about the character you are writing about. It helped me immensely with really getting in-tune with the oc that I am writing about, and I can tell that my writing about her improved a lot thanks to it. I'd suggest taking a look at that!

You have a really promising start here, keep at it!

Author's Response: i'll def take your suggestion as this is my first story with so many OC's and i could use all the help i can get :)
thanks so much for reviewing! i really appreciate it :)
~marlita


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Review #4, by Christine_Nighting Cecily Ailís Doherty

17th April 2011:
I felt like this was a little rushed and you jumped between ideas alot. Sometimes it was as though she was writing a diary and other times its just the normal telling.

When you wrote " All.the.cauldrons. Without.magic" you should have put spaces, like "All. The. Cauldrons. Without. Magic." or you could have had "ALL the cauldrons. Without magic" and have the without magic part italisized, it would have gotten the point across better.

Overall this seems to be a good girl story. Just be sure to add more detail and not rush it :) Good job!

Author's Response: thanks for the feedback..!:)

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