This is probably the best thing I've ever read. I can't even.

Author's Response: loool, thank you! ♥ Glad to be of service. ;)

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ERMEGHERD!

This was lyk the mst awesomest crack-fic EVER! And it's so angst and I, lyk, died!

(yeah, I'm trying too hard.)

But, no, seriously. This piece had me in tears (not because it was touching, but because it was so bad.) Just by looking at the summary and banner for this story, I knew it was not one that I could simply just pass up. Pure excellence!

I just love how you butchered Cho so badly in this. I always felt sympathetic for the girl in canon, because she has such a bad rep behind her--but this? I had to throw my sympathies away!

Draco...I had no clue that he was going to be dragged into this. At first I thought it might be Harry with some weird-crack story behind it (like him leaving Ginny to follow some forbidden love, but I suppose you find that more with the Draco/Hermione ship...)

Speaking of Draco, this was my favorite line concerning him:
“You can’t have her, Cedric!” he said, blue-grey eyes fierce and desirable. “We have a long and convoluted history that you somehow don’t know about, and we’re lovers now!”

Good God, I choked on my orange juice. I didn't even know they had any history of even being spotted talking to each other in canon. Ahhh well, Cedric seems to notice it as well.

And the batty lady. I LOVE her. I want to just chase her with a net and keep her in a cage as a pet. My favorite part concerning her would be:
"Fed me," Batty Old Lady crowed, gnawing on her own arms.

She's so adowable, I just want to pinch her cheeks! I love how her character is just there to play as a distraction and has no specefic relevance to the story whatsoever!

And of course, there's the cliched pregnancy! I hate it when people on here write about pregnancies but won't do them correctly. It drives me up the wall! But this, because it's all purely crack, this is bearable! And I love how you named the miracle baby 'Chochina'. Best. Name. Ever. Period.

And the ending is epic win, because tying irrelevant random characters is awesome! I can just picture it, all the Diggorys just siting on one big bed, smiling at a camera and cyniacal Bellatrix just blasts open the door, cackling, and turns Cho into a racoon and scampers away in heartless mirth, grinning like a serial killer. And Cedric would be screaming "NO" at the top of his lungs. Yes! That one short line can depict such a powerful image in my mind.

Anywho, overall, this was just a pure, epic, wonderfully, bad WIN! This story's got swagger, and for those who disagree can GTFO, because they honestly have no sense of humor. (But I can't see anyone hating on this story anyway's so I suppose that crude remark can just be tossed in the bin)

It's just so mind warping that you're the same author who had written 'Run'. You're just capable of writing everything! Totally jealous of ya' dude, but in a good way!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful crack-fic to all!

Author's Response: HOLY, THIS REVIEW. ♥

I'm not sure what you're talking about, this was my most SIRIUSLY SERIOUS STORY LIKE EVERRR. lol. I think I'd like to keep Batty Old Lady as a pet, too, if only for the entertainment of watching her bark at the neighbors, which I imagine she would do while sitting on the back of the couch, wearing goggles and a sombrero. Just because.

Crackfics are the antidote to the heaviness that can be brought on by writing long, serious stories like Run, so I like to get it out of my system every now and then. Good writing therapy.

THANKS FOR THE BRILL REVIEW!

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HAHAHAHA This was FANTASTIC. Excuse me while I wipe away tears of joy!

"He was looking angsty. What makes it even more angsty is that he didn't know what he was angsty about." - Well said.

"Their love is deep... like... the buckets in one of those old vacuum cleaners that operates on water. Yeah. One of those buckets" - My favorite thing about this part is that I totally know what you're talking about! Definitely used to own one of those. That is deep love, there.

So having never been a fan of Cho Chang myself, this was beyond delightful to read, hahaha. Again, here you are writing a parody-comedy and you're just as brilliant at it as you are with your other sorts of stories and genres. It's ridiculous how versatile you are.

LOVE the changing of the tenses and that you pointed it out like it's an okay thing so long as you prepare us for it - we'll survive the changing tenses because it was done with purpose! haha *cringe*

"His darling Cho never cried unless there was an animal being born!" *dying*

She literally loses her head. And I think it's appropriate that she's completely fine. Honestly, I'm sure Ron was just overreacting when he splinched that bit of his arm in Deathly Hallows. He can only dream to be as strong and brave and original (although they do both have the red hair thing going on for them...) as Cho Chang! And good on Cedric for picking up the decapitated head and cradling it - that's true love. I wouldn't do that. I guess my love does not go so deep as a large humidifier.

There are so many wonderful and terrible things about this story that had me cracking up from start to finish! You took so many of my favorite cliche's and just threw them in our face and it was genius. I mean, OF COURSE Draco and Cho have been having a secret fling from way back once upon a time and he's come now to confess his love for her! He's very loving and emotional and will easily change for love! I'm almost surprised that I was surprised when he showed up. I should've known...

""I'm going to forgive you and completely forget all about this," Cedric vowed." - Yup.

Math doesn't matter in AU? I should start writing that, then. As we've learned from my previous review, math is clearly not my strong suit. ;-)

I don't think I've ever read a better closing line anywhere ever in any story that ever existed ever. A little unfortunate that it was preceded by what I believe to be a Twilight reference, but I, like Cedric, shall forgive and forget that bit completely and we'll live happily ever after as writer and reviewer and have babies in just under 17 days because that sounds a lot more appealing than a canon 9 months. And who needs canon, am I write? Boom.

Great story.

Author's Response: Hello again, Tanya! lol, what a story for you to pick. This one-shot is just straight up crack, as I'm sure you found out.

Oh, Ron was totes overreacting about getting splinched. Haha, people just picking up Cho's head and carrying her around like it was no big deal, using her as a bookend. I suppose it's better than making her a Quaffle or something. XD

Math is the devil. Fact. I will do just about anything to avoid having to tally up people's years and ages and all that, and it's been amusing to see just how far math goes down the toilet in some fan fics. I'll see girls finding out they're pregnant immediately after...*ahem*, and then giving birth anywhere between two months to one year later. I've gotten lots of chuckles out of it.

Twilight references, hee. :3 I couldn't resist.

BOOM.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. ♥

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My gosh. That was just all over the place and crazy and weirdly hilarious and very good! XD I can't even recall the number of times I burst out laughing. How can you make bad look so good LOL. 10/10 for an epic good use of 10 minutes!

Author's Response: Bahaha, thank you! Crazy is very good. XD Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Bahahahahaha!

At first I didn't know what was going on, and I was "what-in-the-world!" I just continued to go with it, and now I just can't stop laughing!

Author's Response: lolol. This story was a result of a very boring night and nothing to do, and a friend of mine who despises cedric/cho. I'm thrilled that you got a laugh out of it! :D

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And then Bellatrix burst into the room and turned Cho into a raccoon.
Almost died. So funny! I enjoyed this so much and you are very talented!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for the awesome review. :D

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That was a little odd but funny at the same time.

I like how you've added your own voice into the story and your own style incorporated through it. I'm just trying to imagine Cho's head sitting on Cedric's bookshelf and can't help laughing out loud. And Bellatrix bursting into the room and turning her into a racoon? Very awkward but hilarious.

So, all in all, I like your story and want to keep reading some of your other ones. 10/10.

dobbys_socks

Author's Response: Haa, this story was written as a bit of a joke. It is very much not supposed to be serious. :P

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Baa-haa. This is hilarious.
I have to say though, I am 100% a Draco/Batty Old Lady shipper. They are just meant to be.
I love this story, it made me laugh so hard :D

Author's Response: I will go down with the Draco/Batty Old Lady ship! They were made for each other, amirite?

Heee. Thanks for reading! XD

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This just made cry. I mean, wow, it's so original and emotional and you totally keep in character and... :'(

Duh I'm kidding :P It's still plain epic despite the intentional crappiness. Totally reminds me of some fanfics I've read, though. Crossover/ooc/ideastealing etc.

Rock on! |,,|,
I like mustard

Author's Response: I'M SO OFFENDED, THIS WAS MY MOST SERIOUS STORY EVER AND I POURED MY WHOLE SOUL INTO IT.

Lol. Not really, of course.

Thank you for reading the epic tale of Cedric/Cho/Draco/Batty Old Lady!

P.S. Mustard is awesome

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*sobs into hankerchief* It was *gasps* SO BEAUTIFUL!

Author's Response: INORITE?!

My best work eva.

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I am in love with the Batty Old Lady *Don't worry, I'll feed you!!*
Oh and this story was just so bad but SO good from start to end. Yay for you :D X

Author's Response: Batty Old Lady is epic. I think I would like to write a harrowing novel on the ups and downs of Batty Old Lady's life.
Day One: I ate some prunes today.
Day Two: My soaps aren't on T.V. I'm going to call up the cable company and give them a piece of my mind.
Day Three: The mailman is late. Booo.
Day One: Because I have forgotten that it is supposed to be Day Four.

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Love your 'angst'. And Cho's head. And foray into 'enemy lines' *cough* Twilight *cough*

Author's Response: haa! SO MUCH ANGST. IT MAKES MY EYES BURN.

*cough* Renesmee *cough*

:D

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW!!

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OH MY GOD BEST ENDING I'VE EVER READ

Author's Response: I KNOW, RIGHT? SO AWESOME.
Thanks! :D

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OMG, I mean, this is SO TOTALLY BAD! XDXDXDXD For laughing out loud!I think less descriptions or even WORSE descriptions would have made it even better-worse. And WTH did Draco had to be in this story!!!??? XDXDXD LOL!

10/10 For how bad it was!

P.S. I really would have liked to do your challenge, only I am SO not good at this! XD I mean I can't even write a GOOD story! XD

Author's Response: Thank you, dahling! I spent months on this story - no, YEARS - trying to make it the brilliant piece of poetry that has graced your eyeballs. It was an arduous task, and it has forever changed me, but tis all worth it now because I am certain it is the best story of all time.
:D

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Ok, that was brilliant!!!I loved it =D =D You should write more like this =P =D

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you!! :D

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“But I totally got here first!” Cedric insisted. “Why are we all so out of canon?!”
Best. Line. Ever!

I wonder if the baby was born with Draco-like features...sequel?
This was wonderful! All you needed was an indepth study on how magnets function and some lasagna. :)

It's odd how you can write bad...good. :P You're a freak of wonderful nature. Lol. 10/10 for this. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: If you look closely at Chochina, you will notice that her irises have a ring of silver around them. They are angsty and orb-y and very pureblood.

*mysterious eyebrow wiggle*

Thank you for reading and reviewing, lovely. :)

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So much win, Sarah. So. Much. Win.

I don't know how many times I laughed out loud while reading this. Please allow me to quote the various lines that made me crack right up:


He was looking angsty. What makes it even more angsty is that he didn't know what he was angsty about.

^This is one of those lines that I'm going to be in an hour-long strop about because I didn't come up with it. XD


We have paused for about fifteen minutes to explore their appearances and back-stories in too much detail, but they do not seem to notice.

^I love breaking the fourth wall. I love it.


We are suddenly in present tense. Prepare for lots of switching.

^I truly love you.


Despite the cold grey eyes and cold white-blond hair and incessant use of turtlenecks, he was such a warm individual.

^OF COURSE. -___-


"Cannons go 'boom boom'," the batty old lady next door shrieked. Until that moment, she had been hiding in the chimney.

^This actually made me laugh so hard that Mr. RGF looked at me like I'd lost my mind. He's still looking at me like I'm a nutcase.


And two months later (because calculation doesn't matter in AU), Cho gave birth after a series of words describing how much it hurt. It was a little girl (of course), and she was twelve pounds (holy crap), nine ounces, and had very long hair and brown eyes and smelled like rainbows/orchids/waterfalls/Brazilian plants because she never had any dirty diapers. She was a miracle child.

^Snerk.


So much humor. So much satire. So much love. Beautiful, glorious Cedric/Cho/Draco/Batty love.

♥
Melanie

Author's Response: Oohhh thank you!

I shall write you a poem in response to your gorgeous, mysterious, beautiful, intoxicating, shimmering, weeping, elephant review:

If you sat in a lampshade,
Would it tip over?
Is a nickname for Darth: "Vade"?
I have a four-leaf-clover (not really)
This soup is oily.

-fin-


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Urm. Don't you think this was a little OOC? I mean. Cho's not really like that. And Cedric's lips are clearly like peanut butter, not honey. Sorry, I just don't feel like this story went well. At all. Besides, you didn't even use the word 'orbs' to describe Draco. Fail.

TEEHEE. SARAH. I LOVE YOU. AND THIS STORY. AND ANGSTY CHO AND ANGSTY CEDRIC AND ANGSTY DRACO AND ANGSTY CRAZY NEIGHBOR.

Also, I about died at 'Chochina'. Just saying.

ERICA.

Author's Response: I AM SO OFENDED CUZ THIS IS LYK MY MOST SERIUS STORIE EVER AN I WORKED SO HARD ON ET AN ITZ LYK A MASTERPEESE.

bahaha.

I LOVE YOU, ERICA!

LYK TOTALLY THANX 4 THA REEVUW AN STUFF LOLZ! :D

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I really don't know what I just read, only that it is full of WIN.

This really needs to get entered into your challenge. It would win hands down. Fo sho.

Haha... I really have no words for how epically awesome you are. Maybe I'm just tired. Who knows? Do you know? I'll bet Cedric knows. Let's ask him.

... Whoops. Got distracted by his honey lips and manly chest hair. Now we'll never know.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS. You, my dear, have mad skillz. With a 'z'. That's how mad they are.

Author's Response: To Cedric: "Why am I so awesome?"

Cedric: "Because I have left Cho forever and I am running off into the Forbidden Forest that is Jane's heart. Where I will claw my way to her love."

Me: "You don't have to claw for long, I'm sure."

Cedric: "I must be brave and knightly! I must fight the wilderness! I must use shiny swords and lots of armor that makes my muscles look even more defined and beautiful!"

Me: "You might want to stop the clawing, now, Ced. I'm pretty sure you don't have to convince Jane to love you."

Jane: "Ow."

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I asdfgh adore you with the passion of a thousand suns. I caught this right as it came out and linked it in Skypeland. WE ARE ENJOYING IT MUCHLY.

Cat tears. Tense switching. Humidifier similes. DISEMBODIED CHO.

Can Draco get with the Batty Old Lady? Can he can he? And then it's secretly Hermione under a curse and he has to realize her inner beauty and then when the curse breaks, she transforms into Megan Fox and they ride off into the sunset on a unicorn with Voldemort (because he can party).

♥

Author's Response: BAHAHAHA.

Megan Fox! Hermione falls asleep in a tanning bed filled with hair-straightening potion and permanent lipstick and there is a timeturner and she makes out with Sirius a little and then she and Draco have lots of witty fights and then she gets pregnant and Ron roars like a lion and Dumbledore makes a move on Cedric and they all live happily ever after. In a tree. With a family of koalas.

And then Megan Fox realizes she's in love with Voldy (because he can party, of course), and they make an Unbreakable Vow to be lovers forever. But then Draco's orbs suck her back through the space/time continuum and everything explodes and there are Dark Marks everywhere and Muggles sip meatballs and spaghetti and filter-feed oxygen through their pores.

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