I really, really enjoyed this piece. When I read the chapter summary, I was intrigued, and your execution of the concept was creative, original, and compelling. I loved the way that you structured the piece: each section flowed into the other beautifully. You started with a character that we're all familiar with and worked a mention of Gabrielle in - it was a passing reference, but it established a dynamic that helped me really get absorbed in Gabrielle's section. You continued to do that for Victoire and Dominique - it was subtle and absolutely expertly done.
The other thing that I liked was that in relatively few words, you really managed to get across a distinct personality for each of the four girls. I got a good sense of who each one was as a person and what their priorities were. I also felt like you characterised all of them well, both in general and in how they, specifically, found love. There are a lot of cliches and stereotypes that exist about the Delacours, but rather than buy into them, you gave all four girls a lot of depth.
In particular, I found the idea that Gabrielle had difficulty with her sister leaving France for England and not really looking back to be really insightful. It's not a point of view I'd ever considered before, but it's one that has a lot of potential, and I think that you tapped into it beautifully. I also loved the way you wrote Dominique - it can be hard to write from the pov of a child sometimes, but you did an amazing job with it. Dominique was quite believable, and for me, that section was the strongest of all of them (though they were all quite good).
Thank you for writing this. It's amazing. :)Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the delay, I haven't been around. It was so lovely to log on and see this, you can't imagine what it means.
I just don't know what to say. i loved this piece so much though wondered had i done the story in my head justice, i hope i did! I tried to do what i could, not having read a lot of delacour fics. I was obsessed with Gabrielle, im glad it showed! at one point i considered a short story starting immediately after this from her pov... maybe ill do it some day! Dom is my favourite, im so happy you liked her!
thank you so so much for this! :D Report Review
Tagged for March Gryffie Review:
I really thought this whole story was so sweet and cute. I loved each little section and felt that each one could easily have stood on its own. My favorite is the fleur and Bill one though. I vary rarely have gotten the chance to read a story with them and how they got together. I really liked this and think you did a great job.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this fellow gryffie! I'm so glad you liked it, i wanted them to stand alone and link so its great it worked. I'm so happy you liked the bill and fleur one too, i thought id find it hard but i liked it too.
Thank you! Report Review
I love how you go through the girls and loves.Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
This was really sweet. Four girls of Veela blood all having love touch them in different ways.
Fleur, the love of a man: Chances are that this is how Bill and Fleur first met. It was also the most realistic; Fleur saw Bill as the first man to look past her beauty and see the witch underneath.
Gabrielle, the love of a child: Out of all the sections, this seemed the most different; mostly because the way you portrayed her is such a sharp contrast from what we know of her from canon. You showed a side of Gabrielle that I think probably would have cropped up over the years after being protected from everything that happened in England.
Victoire, the love of a friend: The friendship that Teddy and Victoire have, I can see where the basis of their future relationship would come from. And, Victoire's want to sneak on the train, not wanting to be left behind, reminds me of Lily in the epilogue.
Dominique, the love of flying: The relationship that Ginny and Dominique have is rather sweet. They share a certain connection that no one else seems to understand.
The fact that each section flowed right into the next only seemed to add to the story. This could have easily been divided into chapters and it still would have worked.
alias093001, Slytherin.Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much for stopping by. You really got the feel of the piece right.
Fleur: Really glad I got this right, in your eyes. I have never read/thought about that pairing apart from this story.
Gabirelle: I suppose we dont know much about her, considering she was only a child in GOF. I hoped this would be a realistic rendering of the character though :D
Victoire: I really wanted to stress the "friendship" part of their love, which obviously developed into more!
Dominique: This was my favourite. I'm glad you liked it. Dominique goes on to share that connection with Ginny and Lily in "Sources" :D
Thanks again, delighted you liked it x Report Review
This was a GREAT piece -- you've managed to write about love very realistically, which is something I don't see too often, and especially around here. Your whole story has a sort of gentle and lovely feel to it that is easy to settle into as a reader. The different storylines kept me reading - it made the story go by very quickly, and I enjoyed it very much!
Thank you for such a great entry! :3Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Really enjoyed the challenge, it was actually a challenge for me to write about 4 characters I didn't know very well! I was going for gentle so I'm glad you said that :D Report Review
AMAZING! get writing! keep it upAuthor's Response: hey! omg thanks so much! I've since written pieves about vic and dom, actually, all my stories tie in together :D Report Review
Hi BrightStar, electricfeel here with your review finally. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get to this, I can only apologise profusely!
This was a cute story. I really liked the structure of it. The way each story linked to the next was cleverly done. I was also pleasantly surprised that you explored the different forms love can take, it wasn't all romantic relationships. This was a really lovely aspect of this story and helped make it a little unique.
I also liked how, despite only writing a few paragraphs on each character, you managed to exhibit the characters personality. As you know, I'm not huge on next-gen characters but as a reader I could see the youth in Dominique, the spoiltness of Victoire etc. It's really good writing.
The different storylines themselves were done well too. My favourite was probably Gabrielle. She's rarely ever explored as a character and I love how you made her life so imperfect despite her obvious perfections. It was so unusual to see this and I really, really liked that.
I think as a writer, you obviously have great potential. It seems to me that continuing to write will only refine the skills you already possess. Again, I am so sorry regarding the long wait and I can only hope this review made up for it!Author's Response: Hi! No worries about the delay, it was worth the wait to get this review. It's made me so, so hapy - especially your view that I have potential!
So glad you liked the story, despite the next gen parts. I was nervous about the structure, and about Gabrielle as a character, I was so very happy both worked!
Thanks so much! :D Report Review
This is amazing! I want u 2 do another one about Victorie! peace, from peace2lovepotter xxxAuthor's Response: Hey! So glad you liked this one too! hehe sparks fly is about her, hope you like it if you read it! thanks!! x Report Review
I'm so sorry this took me so long to post! eek! But I did really enjoy readinmg this and was realy glad I did the swap and had the oppertunity ot think of the Delacour girls in a new way!
The whole thing was really well done to where I felt like I saw each in a new light, and it weas just really interesting overall. Definitly smoething I enjoyed and Gabrielle especially was fun as she's not usually explored, and you really portrayed her iun an origonal way. Wonderful story and best of luck in your writing,
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Hi annie! dont worry about the delay! so glad you liked it, really happy you liked gab in particular! thanks a mill for the review and praise! Report Review
I love it. I mean, you have a plot-like thing and it progresses. You have wonderful characters. I’d kinda like to see something with Louis, but I sorta like that this is just the Delacour girls too. I liked your Gabrielle, she was one of the best I’ve read. You’ve done a wonderful job(: This is a great story!
~LilyFireAuthor's Response: Hi! Aww I'm so flattered! Thanks for leaving the review! Louis could be interesting but for me the 4 girls made sense! So glad you liked Gabrielle, I felt i was taking a risk with her! Thanks again, so glad you liked it!
- B x Report Review
I've seen this one-shot a couple of times and I wish I'd read it sooner :). I loved how you described the sisters and the detail you put into it.
10/10 :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much, glad you read it! Thanks again, really glad you liked it and reviewed!! Report Review
This was adorable. I love how it felt so...French. Even in the writing that didn't contain French words, it retained this exotic, Parisian element very well. I could visualize all of the girls as they experienced these different levels of love, and the whole thing was just gorgeous. I especially loved the part with Gabrielle, since we know the least about her and she isn't explored as much in fan fiction. I think ballet suited her perfectly.
:)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for this, so glad the french feel came accross, that was exactly what i was going for but didnt know if people were picking it up. so glad you liked it so much, and that you were interested in gabrielles part - she took on a bit of a life of her own! Thanks again :D Report Review
The concept of this story was great, showing the different occurrences when these four first experienced love. The fact that you did not confine yourself to romantic love, but also used familial love in Gabrielle's and Dominique's cases, enhanced the story's charm.
Fleur was in character enough to correlate with canon. I very much enjoyed the descriptions of her times with Bill. The importance of the moment when they showed each other someone from their family's was stressed with your description and really worked in telling the reader that this moment they shared was a hint that they'd be married some day. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Bill used the picture from Egypt.
Gabrielle's character was great. I love the rebellious sort.
"Adele, her friend, introduced her to ballet, an art she had studied before finding out she was a witch." This confused me for a moment, because I always assumed Fleur and Gabrielle grew up knowing they were witches rather than finding out later in their lives. The fact that she left her wand at home confused me as well, but she was only 16 so I guess that can be attributed to magical age restriction in France similar to Britain's. Her distancing herself from her family after Fleur's absence greatly distressed me, but brought me closer to her character as it was so understandable. The way she was reaching for her dreams to become a ballerina showed that she's determined to get there.
Victoire came off as impetuous. Her switches between being happy and angry towards Teddy were a little abrupt. However, her thoughts and fears of his abandonment of her were very spot on on how anyone would feel towards a friend leaving for a different place. Her desire to be like her "Tante Gabrielle" struck me as very sweet, considering she changed Gabrielle's life. Your description of her twirling around like a dancer made me feel as if when she isn't angry and sad, she's very carefree and happy.
Dominique's character was very sweet and innocent, especially when she had a reluctance to say she could keep a secret. I didn't really like the fact that she told Fleur later because I felt like she was giving away that secret she said she would keep. Her attitude in general towards Ginny was cute. When she called the baby in Ginny's stomach "L'enfant nouvelle" I felt like the random bit of French in there disrupted the flow of the writing.
In reflection, "Delacour" is a bit of a misnomer for the name of this story, as Dominique and Victoire are Weasleys, but it doesn't bother me, it's just something that occurred to me now.
Overall, it was a very good story that kept me interested. I'm glad you suggested it in the review swap. The length scared me at first, but the story rushed by very quickly and I hardly noticed the time passing by while reading.
Liberty (libby103)Author's Response: Great review, thanks! I'm really glad you liked Fleurs part, i was very nervous about that. in regards to Gabrielle, I meant that Adele was muggleborn, I should really clear that up! Thanks for pointing it out! You're totally right about Victoire - I chose to do this because shes young and very spoiled, though overall a good person. in later stories i write her as a little naive or sheltered, though that isnt important here! I'm so glad you liked Dominique. True, she did say she'd keep it a secret, though I imagine by that time Ginny wouldnt have cared, perhaps she's there too but we just dont see her. Good point though! Also a good point on the title, perhaps I should explain that I chose it because, even though the younger two are "weasleys" by name, i think fleur would have been keen for them to identify with the delacours. in addition, i wanted to forge a surface connection between them all. thanks again for this, i hope i answered everything! and sorry about the lenth hehe! So glad we did the swap, this was a really helpful review and I enjoyed your story :D Report Review
Awww, this is lovely. When I started it, I thought it would just be a standard love story - it was only when I got to the later sections that I realised how much broader your scope was. I love how you've captured the different meanings of love - romantic, familial, soul-mate/friendship, and a love of something, of a concept. It's a really beautiful way of telling it, how each girl tells the next, and how each one knows of love in a different way.
I also love how you've incorporated French into the story - the section numbers and certain concepts that don't have a simple translation, but not an excessive amount that would have distracted from the story. Subtly done, and that's why it works!
So yeah, all in all I like it a lot! Nothing much of use in terms of constructive criticism... just bits to definitely keep!Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! I'm so glad you liked all the different ideaas of love, I hoped that would come accross well! also so happy that the french worked and you liked it overall! thanks so much! Report Review
i thought that was really good
all of it was really well written
and i liked that it didnt all just focus on romantic love
it focused on all types of love
i really liked how each story was somehow linked to the next
that was really cool
=]Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for your review, I really appreciate the time you took :D So glad you liked it, delighted you thought it was cool!
- B x Report Review
Aw, this was so good! My favorite was for sure Fleur...mostly because I love Bill/Fleur. Like that part in HBP when he was attacked and Mrs. Weasley thought she would leave but she didnt.so precious! Anyway I really loved how you interpreted the quote and integrated it into the story! Awesome job!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a million for this! So glad you liked this! Ive never read bill/fleur in my life and so i was really nervous! glad it came accross well! and i love that bit in the book too! thanks so much again!
- B x Report Review
So sorry I got logged out and was too lazy to log back in again. Anyhu the review.
Wow this was great, I said that I have loved your stories before and I am still sticking by that statement, you really do have a way with words. I really enjoyed the four girls perspective and ADORED how you wrote 'when love first touched me' at the end of each one.
This is soo cute and the way you wrote their charcteristics I thought was spot on. Really good job =D and I look forward to reading more from you
Silverstarletworld89=DAuthor's Response: Hey! haha i understand, I do that all the time.
Aww Im so glad you liked it, honoured you like my stuff on the whole!!! So happy too that the characteristics came true, I was worried about that!
- B x Report Review
First of all, that was incredibly adorable! All five stories!! I especially liked your use of French. I read some of these stories and I feel it can be a tad forced... but you incorporated the language perfectly and simply. Your use of the quote as well fit every part of this story to perfection. It was beautifully told and adorable overall. Okay I'll talk about each section cause I want to :P
Fleur/Bill - I have never read a story about them before... or at least how they met. You made it so realistic and I felt like that is really how they met. It makes so much sense as well. I loved their little exchange and your description of how Fleur perceived Bill. It's wonderfully simple. Characterisation-wise, I thought you did a great job with portraying a different side of Fleur. I always found that other stories made her out to be so... snotty and Bill wouldn't marry a snotty French woman. He's a Weasley, he needs someone like the Fleur you described here :)
Gabrielle - I think this is my absolute favourite. I like the twist you put to Gabrielle and how she ran off to be a dancer. That's so different and cool. I also really liked her anger.. well not like, but totally understood her anger at her sister and her family. It just seems to fit perfectly, especially for a girl at her age. Teenagers, so angry at the world, haha. But why I love this one the best is because the end with her watching little Victoire twirling about... then realising that this is her niece. Again, so simple yet beautiful.
Victoire/Teddy - Adorable!! Haha sorry I need new adjectives, but it was adorable. I really like how they're best friends and how she's angry at him then when he's near her, she lights up despite herself. It's sweet to see young love blossoming even when they don't realise it.
Dom - I really liked the favourite aunties thing you have! I think it's so unique and original. I really liked that Ginny is her favourite aunt and I giggled when Ginny evaded the question of where the baby came from. Very clever ;) I think the flying and Dom realising who she was and wanted to be in that moment was very well done.
Overall, beautifully written story. Adorable. Sweet. Endearing. Great job, luv. xxxAuthor's Response: Awww I nearly teared up when I read the review, you're so sweet, especially to go into such detail!! It's only fitting that I would reply in great detail too :D
Fleur/Bill - I was so worried about this one, I was never sure what i thought of fleur, especially since. for some reason im absolutely certain this is how they got together!
Gabrielle - This and dom are my favourites, I'm so glad you liked it! I thought the idea might be a little weird and AU, so im glad it worked! And so glad the anger (hehe i think were the same age preeah!) came accross well, and the love at the end :D
Victoire - i thought this one was so silly, but hoped it would be in a nice way! they're 10 and 11 after all :D
Dom - Haha I'm so glad you like the aunt thing, its secretly like that im my family! hehe glad you liked that! I have great plans for Dom in the future!
What a lovely review, thanks again!!! Glad you enjoyed pet x Report Review
Hello! Here for your review!
I quite enjoyed this story. I really like the concept and the parallel parts. I also liked that you didn't always discuss romantic love, which was nice. You also gave each Delacour (or Weasley, for Victoire and Dominique) an individual voice, which I think worked well.
I saw two errors in spelling and such. First, when Fleur says "moment when love first touched me" line, she says "loved" instead of "love." Also there was one sentence that didn't make much sense to me, I don't know if you left off a word, or what, but I was confused: "She stopped by the café whose coffee she deemed good enough to drink her and bring to Bill"
Overall, I really enjoyed how these stories flowed together and were interconnected. They also seemed to be the right length, not too short, but not too drawn out either.
Oh, and your French seems to be in order as well.
Bravo!Author's Response: Hey! I'm really glad you liked this! Youre right, it does need to be edited, I sent in the non - beta'd draft! Thanks for picking up on it.
So glad they flowed and it didnt seem to long! So happy the french worked!
- B x Report Review
Hello! RandomRed here from the forums!
Each section is really sweet and wonderfully written. It seems like you put loads of effort into each setion and they work together.
The one thing I would say to add to change is seperate them into chapters. Going through it the Une, Deux etc was a bit distracting stuck in between them and if they were seperated into chapters it would seem like seperate events more.
LIke I said though, each section is really sweet and portrays each girls thoughts and actions. They were characterised well and each one was different which I really liked. You didn't just do true love with someone you did it with other things, it was a great spin.
OPERATION:Green With EnvyAuthor's Response: Hey! thanks a million from this!
I'm so glad it came accross well. I would consider making this into a short story collection in the future - I decided to upload all at one, it's for a challenge and I wanted it all up :D But excellent point, one I should follow theough on.
Thanks a million for the great comments, so happy all the girls came accross differently and the story was a little different itself!
- B xxx Report Review
I loved this, Especially Dominique's section, but i like Dom, so i am kind of Biased. From what i know, the french was pretty acurate. I think there is a word which means 'Auntie' more than 'aunt', it was quite a while ago i did that bit of french, so i checked on a translate website, according to that Auntie can be said as 'Tata' rather than Tante, which means 'Aunt.' So yes, i hope that was helpful. I also loved Gabrielle's bit about the Ballet, it was good, i like the way you talked about her modelling.
So, a snipped from the mind of,
xxxAuthor's Response: Hi Charlie! Thanks so much for the review, it was very helpful, also it put a smile on my face! Just heading to yours now! If I edit (which i'll probably have to do!) I think I'll put Tata in for Dom at least! Haha I like Dom too, she's my favourite in this story. I'm glad you liked that, I liked the idea but I dont know a lot about ballet!
- b xxx Report Review
Well I loved this! I think Doms and Fleurs were my two favourites. I loved the way you had different types of love, love for a child, love for flying, love for a man. You made each character different despite how they were all from the same family. I really enjoyed seeing the variations. I though Gabrielle's one was brilliantly done, I loved her rebellion! I loved the smatterings of French through it as well, it really made it believable!
Overall I really enjoyed this, well done!
Hannah xAuthor's Response: Hey Hannah! Thanks a million, I'm really glad you liked it! And that you thought they came accross differently! Doms was my fav, I HATED fleurs for the first while then i really got into it :D YEs Gabrielle is bad to the bone! I like victoire but i write her off as a silly girl half the time! Hehe glad the french worked! Thanks for the review pet x Report Review
This is so great! I was considering not reading this story when I first saw how long it was but now I'm so glad I read it :) it's so sweet and so good :)Author's Response: Hey! I hope it wasnt too long for you! So happy you read and enjoyed! Thanks so much! :) Report Review
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