I see a lot of potential with this story.
Huh, I never was into this kind of stuff, but when I saw your author page said you were sad, my heart melted. I remember never getting any reviews. That sucks. Here's my input: Slow down. You have like six stories up, and only one chapter for each one. There are so many people on HPFF like that. I used to be like that, starting up loads of projects, then dropping them immediately after starting. Concentrate on one project and make it awesome. Once you're more than halfway through, and you know you will finish, you can start another project. Mind you, the key word is "can". It is not should. For you, I recommend completing a full short story to start. Leave the novels for later. One-shots are short, but they have to be really high quality, so leave that for later. This story looks promising, and I'll do a short survey of your other stuff. You are not a bad writer. You cannot be a bad writer unless you think you are. Keep working at it, and I am sure you will get better. Some easy pointers for writing
1. I noticed you write small chapters. That is an issue for many novice writers. I used to struggle to reach 2000 words, but all you need is more detail. Detail, detail.
2. Show don't tell. Instead of telling me Fred/George think Ginny are stupid, show me, by using details, such as behaviors (rolling eyes, tutting, snorting), attitudes (sarcasm, haughtiness, etc.), and dialogue (which you do use... yay!)
3. Longer chapters get more reviews and readers and lovers. They are more satisfied with the story.
4. Go to TDA and request a banner, don't be shy. I was afraid of this earlier, but it is simple. Make an account, and follow the instructions on the site. Banners benefit you, because they attract people, and the artist, because he/she gets publicity and reputation. Banners will give you way more attention.
I hope that was helpful. I want to see great things from you.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! That is going to help me so, so, so, so, so much! I'll bear it all in mind. Report Review
Nice start to the fic.
I thought you did good on displaying Ginny's emotions here; especially when she ran into Harry.
The chapter is a bit short, but since I can't think of one thing that you need to add, the length is fine.
Overall, nicely doneAuthor's Response: Thank you! I was a bit rushed for time but I'm glad you like what's there! Report Review
I like the concept of seeing things through Ginny's point of view. This is a good start but still needs some work. I'm assuming this chapter takes place at the beginning of Harry and Ron's first year so it seems a little weird that Harry would already be used to people oggling at him. This is only his first full day in the wizarding world (excluding when Hagrid brought him to Diagon Alley) so everything should still be new to him. Other than that I think this story has a lot of potential. Can't wait to see what happens next.Author's Response: Thank you! I'll fix the continuity problems. Report Review
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