Reading Reviews for I've Already Walked Away
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by notreallyblonde44 I've Already Walked Away

5th October 2015:
Hi MCG, more reviews for this monthís swap :)

Yikes the Scorose tension! You must not be a big fan of this ship haha as this is the second anti-Scorose Iíve read on your page. This is a very short clip, so I donít have much to say here. I think you invoked the emotions well, and Iím curious what Scorpius said to trigger these emotions in Rose. Just having it be based on blood status, at this point, seems interesting. Guess Iíve read too many stories where Scorpius grows out of that nonsense, but itís likely that the family still has some prejudices that manifest. And it sounds like Scorpius treats Rose horribly, so Iím happy sheís getting away and stays strong during this process!

Again there are some missing commas. In dialogue there needs to be a comma before someone is addressed. For instance: ďDonít you get it you stubborn ***?Ē should read ďDonít you get it, you stubborn ***?Ē

xx Ellie

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Review #2, by Gabriella Hunter I've Already Walked Away

27th August 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and it's nice to met you! Thank you so much for helping me feel better by doing this, it really means a lot to me.

I don't really read much Sco/Rose but I'm curious about the backstory between these two and why they're always fighting. What was their relationship like before this happened? What were they arguing about in the first place? I would honestly like that one question in particular answered because the story could use just a bit more meat to it. I'd like to have more information on both of them and gauge what their school/home lives were like.

I do really like though that you have given them some interesting history. The fact that Scor is used to Rose walking away from their fights tells me that this has happened more than once and that their relationship is a complicated one. SO curious about that though and I'd love it if this story went on a bit more to explain it. :D

My only CC's would be that there are quite a few run on sentences (As someone who does this a lot, I understand) but other than what I mentioned earlier and that, it was a good read!

Much love,


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Review #3, by Penelope Inkwell I've Already Walked Away

21st August 2015:
Hey there, Penny here for review 3/3 of our swap!

Ouch. That was some painful Scorose stuff, right there.

I'm really glad that Rose respected herself enough to walk away. It would be one thing if she was always walking away instead of having a legitimate discussion, but this didn't sound like that. It sounded like she was walking away to avoid being verbally ground down to a pulp. Scorpius was no good for her, and I'm glad she decided to break it off and leave him behind.

I was also proud of Hermione. That was totally her. She'd be there for her daughter in a flash and she also wouldn't be afraid to give a Malfoy a piece of her mind.

You did a good job of making us feel Rose's pain. It was hard to see Scorpius falling to his knees like that, calling after her. But I'm glad she stayed strong and still made the best decision for herself. She deserved to be treated right, not verbally abused and constantly berated. If a relationship is toxic, sometimes it just has to end.


Most of the time I would head for the library, knowing that heíd never be caught dead in there he always sent someone to go to the library for him.
--This is a bit of a run-on. One way it could be fixed might be: "Most of the timeI would head for the library, knowing that he'd never be caught dead in there. He always sent someone to go to the library for him."

I would usually wait until just before curfew before I headed to my common room knowing that he would be in the dungeons already but tonight was different, tonight I was staying in Malfoy Manor for Easter holiday, this time he saw me leave and blocked my path.
--This one's a run-on as well. Ex. "I would usually wait until just before curfew before I headed to my common room, knowing that he would be in the dungeons already. But tonight was different; tonight I was staying in Malfoy Manor for Easter holidays. This time he saw me leave and blocked my path."

"I donít understand why you find it necessary to leave whenever you donít get your way.Ē Scorpius began, ď Iím tired of you running away like a baby every time we fight.Ē
--This bit isn't formatted quite right. The quote should end with a comma, since "Scorpius began" is still part of the first sentence. Then the next spoken sentence should be a new sentence. Like: "I donít understand why you find it necessary to leave whenever you donít get your way,Ē Scorpius began. ď Iím tired of you running away like a baby every time we fight.Ē

As much as I wanted to believe him I know things will always be the same no matter what he says, Heíll always be a pureblood Malfoy and I a blood-traitor Weasley.
--This needs to be split up somewhere. I see two good options. 1. "As much as I wanted to believe him, I know things will always be the same no matter what he says. Heíll always be a pureblood Malfoy and I, a blood-traitor Weasley." 2. As much as I wanted to believe him, I know things will always be the same. No matter what he says, heíll always be a pureblood Malfoy and I, a blood-traitor Weasley."

This was definitely a sad piece, but I was glad to see Rose's strength in it, and Hermione there to represent her supportive family.


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Review #4, by GingeredTea I've Already Walked Away

21st August 2015:
Here with the review swap!

Like yourself, this is definitely not something I would normally choose, but it was fun to read, nevertheless. :) You definitely chose to write Scorpius differently than most people seem to choose to write him; making him like his father. He was certainly a rotten apple here, and I'm not sure why Rose would have wanted to be with him at all. It was an interesting take on things, considering the trend seems to be that Scorpius has grown up differently or even been taught better by his experienced and changed father.

Thanks for the review swap!

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Review #5, by MissesWeasley123 I've Already Walked Away

7th March 2014:
Hey! Wow, this was a really intense piece!

I think you did a really good job on dialogue in this! Everything was really fast paced, and definitely dramatic. I think in the caps lock it was perhaps a bit too dramatic. My only advice to you for that would be to maybe just write some parts normally, and then add exclamation points to the end. A little but more description around the dialogue wouldn't hurt either. Otherwise it was really good and straight to the point, you jumped into the plot excellently.

I think it'd be great if you expanded a bit on both of their characters. Give a bit of background information. It'll really help with why this story took place and make it much more realistic. This was entertaining to read, though I wish it wasn't as short haha! A sequel would be totally cool if you were to write it! I think it's really cool that this was inspired by an original poem! Did you write the poem? :)

All in all, this was a good piece that has a lot of potential. If you work with a beta on developing the story a bit, I'm sure it'll be great! I liked reading, and good luck for the challenge!

Blackout 12/15

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it took so long to get back to you RL keeps getting in the way. Thanks for the review :) Ok so I edited the formatting and removed the Caps and yes I wrote the poem and this might be a cut scene from a story I'm currently working on but we will have to wait and see how kind the muses are.

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Review #6, by love_is_magic_ I've Already Walked Away

7th March 2014:
Hey, just stopping by for a quick review!

So wow, what a different take on Rose and Scorpius, eh? Usually we only see them fighting in their really early relationship stages, then all cutesy later. It was nice to see a different side of them and good for you, being brave enough to risk such a new take!

I love the references to Draco, Ron and Hermione. You're right in saying that Ron would have warned Rose about an angry Draco, and I'm sure that would have been something to be avoided. I also love that Hermione came in to be an awesome mother and protect/save Rose.

Overall, this was done really well! The only little bit of CC was that the all caps probably wasn't necessary. If you had just left it with the exclamation points, I think the yelling would have come across fine. As it is, I think the all caps is a tad distracting. However, this is entirely a personal opinion and you are free to take it or leave it!

I really did this this was a great one-shot and I can't wait to read some more of your other stuff!


Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle 11/15

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I have gone back in and edited the formatting so there is no more all caps. Apparently I don't like happy endings since all I seem to write is depressing pieces. the one thing I have written that was somewhat happy i'm considering deleting since I don't think its good. I don't know what it is but i seem to do depressing well. I don't like fics where everything is all hearts and flowers in a relationship since it doesn't happen in real life.

thanks again for reviewing and again i'm sorry it took so long to respond

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Review #7, by Akussa I've Already Walked Away

7th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle /blackout / Bingo!

Well that was definitly intense and out of the ordinary. I usually read about them fighting before they get together but this idea to have them fight to break up becaue they honestly can't make things work, is good. Accepting that you are too different to ever fit together is very difficult, especially at that age but you make it work. I do have to admit that, when I started reading, I thought that they were adults already because of the maturity of this subject and their introspective qualities.

I spotted a small sentence structure mistake that I wish to point out to you you write :

" matter what he says, Heíll always be a pureblood Malfoy and I a blood-traitor..."; first, 'he' shouldn't be capitalised (Scorpius isn't THAT important, I mean, he isn't a god or a king no matter what he may think of himself) and later, I personnaly think there should be a coma around the ending when you say "and I, a blood-traitor".

Overall, great little piece, good job!

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the review!

Speaking from personal experience I've learned that a large amount of teenage relationships and even some adult ones will never work and it takes a lot to admit it to yourself that no matter what it will never work no matter how hard you try. As a matter of fact this is something I'm just now realizing in one of my relationships. Also I like reading stories where there is no happy ending.

Ok so I'm in need of a beta but it takes me so long to update that I'm not really comfortable with asking for one right now and grammar is not my strong suit but I'm working on it.

Thanks again for the review and I'm sorry it took so long to respond. Real Life keeps getting in the way of my obsessions.

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Review #8, by TidalDragon I've Already Walked Away

7th March 2014:

Though I've barely read any Next Gen at this point (a few chapters basically), I think you have the groundwork for something different here with a darker take on the phenomenon that Scorpius/Rose seems to have become.

As you develop it, I think you would benefit a lot from just staying patient with the story and taking time to develop emotions naturally from your character's actions and more extended dialogue. Remember too that you can make the way the characters are speaking clear from just the dialogue tag. For example, when you say Rose yelled after she first unleashes her anger on Scorpius toward the end of the chapter, you no longer need all caps to drive it home. If you want to make it a particularly loud yell, look up some synonyms for yell which are stronger - like roared or screamed or consider using an adverb like loudly. Even though a yell is already loud, an adverb like that makes clear that it is louder than normal and that way you don't have to use all caps.

Just some food for thought. I think you have a good idea challenging the typical Scorpius/Rose plot that will work better as you practice executing certain things a bit differently.

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for reviewing!

So due to an overwhelming amount of CC about the caps lock I have gone back in and reformatted to remove it.

I wasn't planning on developing this further but due to the amount of encouragement i have received and the requests to do so I think i may have to or at least to turn this into a cut scene maybe from someone else's point of view where they go back to school and everyone knows they broke up but no one knows why. Hm now i have an idea for yet another new story. the madness never ends I have several other projects I'm working on in addition to going to school full time and being a newly single mom so we will see where it goes.

thanks again for the review and i'm sorry it took so long to respond

Peace Love and Tacos

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Review #9, by nott theodore I've Already Walked Away

6th March 2014:
Hello there! I'm here reviewing Slytherin stories for the Blackout Bingo and I just realised that I've never read any of your stories, so I thought that I should come and correct that :)

This was really interesting! When I saw that this was for the No Happy Endings challenge, I knew straight away that it was going to be different from most Rose/Scorpius stories, which as one-shots are usually fluffy and romantic. I enjoyed this take on their relationship and found it really different and quite refreshing because of that.

It certainly seemed a little dramatic at times but it does sound like the two of them have been through a lot and are really struggling, so in a way I can understand that. Rose is just at the end of her tether and they can't see a future together, but in spite of that it's hard to watch a relationship crumble.

I could see some parts here that definitely seemed inspired by a poem - some of the narrative felt lyrical, and I enjoyed that contrast.

I liked the way that Rose was determined not to cry or show weakness - it reminded me of Hermione, and the way that she didn't want Harry or other people to see when she was upset about something (usually Ron :P).

Great job here!

Sian :)

Review 15/15

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the review!

I wanted to do a different take on most of the fics I read which are usually full of fluff and romance. I was depressed when I wrote this and some of the stuff Rose realizes in this fic is some things I was trying to figure out with a past relationship of mine at the time. I've come to realize that no matter how much I wanted it to work we were much too different and were at different places in our lives. That is was I wanted Rose to figure out.

Thanks again for reviewing and I'm sorry it took so long to respond.

Peace, Love, and Tacos

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Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing I've Already Walked Away

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

This was a little dramatic! Poor Rose sounds like she has a really tough time with Scorp. It's so different from most of the Scorose you read.

I completely understand her not wanting him to see her cry, I know I don't like to be crying. I wonder though, if she did give him the chance would it work or are they doomed? There must have been something there for them to be together in the first place! You leave a lot to the imagination... have you ever considered writing a follow up piece?

That being said, I think this was really interesting and I would be interested about the poem that inspired you.

I also like the fact you had Rose call her mum not her dad - lets face it, Ron wouldn't have reacted calmly in this situation!

This was a good and interesting one shot! Well done :)

Lauren :)

Review 10 of 10

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for reviewing!

I was trying for different so I'm glad you saw that. The reason Rose didn't want Scorp to see her cry is because if he did he would try to comfort her and she would wind up changing her mind. Due to the amount of requests I am considering writing a follow up but I'm not sure when I will make the time to do so or when it will be posted.

Speaking from experience, sometime a girl just needs her mom so that's why Rose called Her and not Ron at least in my head thats why she did anyway. Her mom would have understood more but maybe that will be part of the follow up.

Thanks again for reviewing and I'm sorry it took so long to respond.

Peace, Love, and Tacos


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Review #11, by TheGirlOnFire I've Already Walked Away

1st March 2014:

This is for the blackout challenge:)

I'm a little confused as to what Scorpius and Rose's relation ship is. Are they dating? Or are they enemies? Also, the dialogue and the description is mixed up. I advise that the dialogue start on individual lines.

I hope this doesn't come of rant-y-ish. I did enjoy reading this and it was good but I feel like it could be better.


Author's Response: Hi and Thanks for the Review!

This is suppossed to be a break-up scene between the two and I'm intending to go back and edit and maybe do a complete rewrite.Also thinking of deleting this and adding it as a chapter in another story.

Thanks again for the review and I'm sorry it took so long to respond

Peace, Love, and Tacos


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Review #12, by Broken Butterfly I've Already Walked Away

15th July 2013:
Thanks for your submission to the no happy ending challenge. I wish this wasn't so short, ans believe me that is saying something for a next-gen to me, because I liked it. I liked the plot , but I would have liked more description to visualize the scene in my head. Otherwise I think Characterization is a strong highlight in this. Good work.

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for reviewing!

I'm working on going back and editing this to add more description and possibly doing a complete rewrite and deleting this as a one-shot and instead adding it as a chapter in another fic

Thanks again for reviewing and I'm sorry it took so long to respond

Peace, Love, and Tacos


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Review #13, by 800 words of heaven I've Already Walked Away

19th June 2013:
Hello, there! Here from the Slytherin review tag!

Ooh! I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this. I must admit to being a bit of a sucker for Rose and Scorpius, and I guess I always like a happy ending, but this was really cool!

I really liked Rose in this. She was mature, and honest, and true to herself. Her actions made sense, and I totally understood why it took her as long as it did to let Scorpius go.

I must admit to wanting some more stuff on Scorpius, though. He felt a little... incomplete, like we weren't getting the full story. Obviously, this was from Rose's POV, so we weren't gonna get a detailed description of his thoughts, but I would've liked to read why he acted the way he did around Rose, or why he hated the library, or why they were together in the first place!

The short length didn't bother me at all - I thought the way you just outlined one scene and didn't really dwell on details out of that particular moment was a neat trick, although I did want more background on their relationship.

The way you ended this... is there a sequel in the making, perhaps? I hope so! I want to see how everything turns out for these two!

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the review!

So there might be a sequel in the works or there might in fact be an entire story where this becomes a chapter instead of a one-shot.

I didn't want to really dwell on the specifics as I was picturing them as in a non physical abusive relationship as that was the type of relationship i was in at the time. I will have to find a different way to visualize and describe their relationship since abuse violates the TOS but we shall see what the muses have in store. I can say that their relationship won't start out all hearts and flowers or full of fluff but it might turn out that way in the end if i can manage a happy ending.

Thanks again for reviewing and I'm sorry it took so long to respond

Peace, Love, and Tacos


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Review #14, by EnigmaticEyes16 I've Already Walked Away

11th January 2013:
This was an interesting snippet into the lives of Rose and Scorpius. I kind of liked not knowing the back story or what's gonna happen next. I like how you just focused in on one specific moment, a specific fight--the final break-up, and left it at that. It's very refreshing. I also liked how Rose finally took charge, instead of her walking away being futile again, she made a point of it and left him for good, no more second chances and so on. This was lovely, really. And very well written, I didn't notice any mistakes. I think you did a wonderful job with this.


Author's Response: Hi and thanks for reviewing!

Sorry it has taken me over 2 years to respond but real life has gotten in the way.

I'm glad you liked it and I might develop this further but then again I might not A lot of people have asked for a follow up or a sequel so I might post in the forums and see what the rest of the masses think.

Thanks again for the review and again sorry it took so long to respond

Peace, Love, and Tacos


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Review #15, by adluvshp I've Already Walked Away

19th December 2012:
Slytherin Tag xD

Hi there! This made for a good & quick read. I liked how you wrote Rose & Scorpius, it was quite different from how they're usually written. The plot idea was nice and the scene description was good.

I would have liked to see more emotion & angst in this piece though, as I felt like it was a little too direct & short. You could have gone a little deeper into the emotions if you had wanted :) Also, the bold and capitalizing was a little annoying to the eye - I would suggest to just either bold or capitalize the words.

Apart from that, I liked reading this. It definitely has room for improvement though. I like that it was inspired from a poem, quite innovative. I hope I wasn't too harsh!

Good work! 7/10


Author's Response: Thanks AD!

I have gone back and reformatted to remove both the caps and the bold so hopefully this makes for an easier read.

I'm actually considering doing a complete rewrite and/or deleting this one-shot and adding it into a novel but I will have to wait and see what the masses have to say.

Thanks again for the review and I'm sorry it took so long to respond

Peace, Love and Tacos


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Review #16, by roseweasley_03 I've Already Walked Away

8th September 2011:
This one-shot is set up perfectly for a sequel. Please write one, your such a good writer! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank You :) What I might do is attempt to write a novella/novel as a companion to this and mabye have this oneshot as a missing scene or something but im not sure yet. It all depends on where my muse leads me and how much spare time i have on my hands. Thanks again for the review :)

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Review #17, by TenthWeasley I've Already Walked Away

22nd April 2011:
This was a really interesting premise to a fic - it's not often that Scorpius and Rose stories end on a note that isn't all Cinderella-esque and happily-ever-after. It's a rather refreshing change, actually. I have a lot of respect for authors who don't make everything all neat and wrapped in bows and ribbons, because life isn't like that, and it adds a really nice depth and realism to your work.

It was a short piece, but the emotion you conveyed was really good - my heart went out to Rose, and even to Scorpius, although he was a bit jerkish to make fun of her tears. :D Some of your sentences, however, ran on a bit, and could have been separated:

"I would usually wait until just before curfew before I headed to my common room knowing that he would be in the dungeons already but tonight was different, tonight I was staying in Malfoy Manor for Easter holiday, this time he saw me leave and blocked my path."

This, for instance, could have been broken into two or even three sentences. :)

Overall, though, I really liked your story, and I must commend you once more on not ending the story where everything is all rose-colored and pretty and happy. It impressed me quite a bit.

Author's Response: Thanks :) and ya most of my stories wind up without a happy ending...and i talk to myself when i write and actually tell my self the story as i write it down so run on sentences are bound to happen. (i talk really fast and can get two or three sentences read or spoken in a single breath) I'm working on trying to stop doing that but so far no luck.

Thanks again for the review :)

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Review #18, by LadyMalfoy23 I've Already Walked Away

18th March 2011:
Aw, poor rosie! And poor scorpius! Im not sure who i feel worse for!! But indeed all the same it was a very believable story, from the eyes of a teenage girl like me it was just very believable! Great story! :)

Author's Response: AW Thanks!

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