This is gonna be god :)Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you enjoy :) Report Review
My heart literally breaks for the two of them, especially Teddy! :( you are so cruel. I sincerely hope that this has a happy ending.
I always find myself having to really concentrate when I read this because otherwise I'll miss something that's super important, even if it doesn't seem it at the time. You have a knack for very slowly formulating the characters and the plot and whatnot, instead of just giving it away all at the same time.
The descriptions of course were lovely, and I loved Lucy in this playing the wise woman role. She seems incredibly perceptive. And the closeness and tenderness between Teddy and Molly is just so cute!
Loved it.Author's Response: -double squishes-
I'm sorryyy. It's so interesting that Teddy's the one you feel sorry for, though :P I increasingly find myself feeling really disgusted by him!
Also super glad you said that. I love it when I read something where I really have to read rather than just skimming (usually fluff because let's face it, that doesn't need any concentration). That's such a huge compliment ♥
Lucy is my fave in this entire story. She's so much fun to write and Molly/Teddy are adorable but also kind of hateable (or maybe that's me being all bitter and single...)
xx Report Review
God Rach, you are SUCH a good writer. Honestly, your descriptions and style are just divine. It's almost as if I've walked into a high-end perfume advert, it's so dreamy. You have a lovely and ethereal way with words that any of us mere mortals can only dream of achieving!
At the end of the chapter it was a little unclear as to why they can't be together (at least I think that's what's happened). Was it something to do with her instinct? I'm still not sure.
Apart from that, it was just lovely. I adore your style of writing!Author's Response: -squishes-
HIGH-END PERFUME AD IS WHAT I WANTED. Only for the Victoire-coming-off-train bit, to be fair, but that kind of style/black+white 30s movie style is what I was after so THANK YOUUU ♥
It's instinct and guilt, I think. He's still with Victoire and Molly's still got some sense of morality at this point :P She knows that nothing can happen unless he splits up with Vic (and even then, there's that level of 'but she's my cousin' underlying it)
THANK YOU OODLES, MY LOVELY
xx Report Review
Hey there, I'm back with your other much delayed review! :)
To start out, my favorite line: "She gave Victoire false hope because she thought her own dreams were too fanciful and now, the way he stares at her with the illusion down, she knows she will never trust her instinct again."
That is so powerful, assuming it's the truth. It really just stood out to me!
The transition between chapters was done great! I almost wish we had been able to see a chapter of the awkwardness after that stolen night, but I think it still works really well!
The characterization is again, wonderfully done, they both stayed in character, no matter how much I wanted to smack Ted for only saying he'd leave Victoire if Molly told him too! But that is who is he is!
Again, I really think the tense you picked for this story supremely adds to it, and in a great way. You do wonderfully with writing it!
~VioletBladeAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you. I love it when lines stand out to people. I don't actually remember writing that one but there are definitely lines throughout this story that I can remember agonising over. I think I prefer the ones I don't think about too much.
I'd love to write that chapter but I've had to be so picky with what I put in this and which moments were going to be key in their relationship. I think I probably made the right choice but there are definitely other moments I wish I could have put it in, including stuff from Teddy's perspective.
He's vile, isn't he? Bless him, I think I've given him a bit of an issue with being alone but can you blame him for wanting some security?
Thank you so much for your two brilliant reviews. I'm so glad you liked it :) Report Review
Hi there! It's VioletBlade with your review after... *looks at the date* nearly a year. Goodness. I deeply apologize! I haven't had much time for HPFF lately at all, and I've just come back after almost a five month hiatus. Still, that doesn't excuse the amount of time you've been waiting.
Well, on to the review then! :)
The tense of this story is really what jarred me, and not in a bad way at all. In fact, I wrote my first novel on the site in present tense! But I don't think I've ever read a story where it was third person present tense, and for that you get props! It was the right way to write it, if that makes any sense. I think with this tense choice, the reader feels as if they are there, with Ted and Molly, and can be witness to everything that is going around.
Characterization: It's interesting, you know, how you've portrayed the next generation characters that feature in this story. I do like the way Ted isn't completely 100% grateful for the way everything has been handed to him in his life-- almost as if instead of that giving him a better future, it actually made him feel obligated then to do what they all expected to do of him. It's something I've never stopped to consider, actually. And for Victoire, though we didn't see much of her in this chapter, I liked her characterization as well. She's not seen as this amazing, gorgeous, perfect person that a lot of stories portray her as in Ted/Molly II/Victoire fics, but actually kind of normal. At least, that's how I felt! And Molly- I think you captured the right amount of angst from her, and the way she kind of separates herself from the family she's always been around because she knows what she feels would be taboo to them.
As for the general flow, I thought it was actually just fine, as long as I remained 100% concentrated on reading! Sometimes my mind likes to wander while I'm reading things (especially online) and in this case I had to go back and re-read to make sure I got everything, but that just means you wrote in a way that I couldn't take everything to be surface-y (I realize that's not really a word!). I will comment on the chapter progression on the next chapter, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do more than two. If you can imagine- you posted your request in April 2011, and it's 2012, there's a lot to get to!
Thank you for not coming after me with a pitchfork for not getting to this sooner. It actually would have been deserved. ^_^.
~VioletBladeAuthor's Response: Oh gosh, this has been ages but because of the sheer size of this wonderful review, it's been hard to find the time to dedicate to sitting down and giving it the response it deserves.
Thank you, firstly, for actually getting to it, regardless of how long it has taken. Many people would just pretend their old thread doesn't exist and give up on it so I really appreciate the time you've given to do this.
I use third person present quite a lot, actually. I really like writing like that and it's more natural for me than past. I have a bit of an aversion to first and second person so I've limited my options a bit, really :P I'm so glad that you think it works, though. I've never given it much thought but I suppose if it didn't work, I'd be in trouble! Thank you for pointing that out.
I definitely wanted Teddy to feel a bit bitter - not completely ungrateful but a little like he's being moulded into this person rather than becoming it naturally. I think, as a teenager especially, that's an issue that may crop up quite a bit and I wanted to continue that thread.
She's normal. They're all pretty normal. I didn't want to set her up as some kind of elite, which may be helped by the fact that I've made her and Molly quite close in age. She's really not that different from Molly, underneath it all.
Haha, that's something people say to me a lot. You really do have to read every word of my writing or you'll probably miss something: less so in longer writing but definitely in one-shots.
Don't be silly! Thank you for actually taking the time to reply to my request and for giving such a wonderful review. Report Review
I've read it. Uff.
Well, I can't say I didn't like it, but I can't say I did either. At first it was interesting and I thought: "Oh, this is something". It IS well written after all, but there's too much pathos. Too much to enjoy it, because after about 1/4 of it I was almost tired. There were pain and a lot of negative emotions (and what is more important: only negative emotions). I understand that they were unhappy, but showing them all sad, desperate and stuff wasn't right decision. It made the whole story unreal. People can't be sad all the time. If you write only about sadness without any (even little and rare) happy or funny moments, you make it improbable. It's not that they should laugh all the time, make jokes and live happily - I really understand that they can't, but what about little happy moments? Something to laugh about from time to time? There always have to be a balance. Like it is in life.
And that's all I have to say, I suppose ^^'.
Hope you're not angry at me. I just think that even if I'm not right, it's always better to say what I think - different points of view are always needed for writers :).
If I made some errors, forgive me, English isn't my native language and sometimes I make very stupid mistakes (like, for example, I almost wrote that I "do" mistakes).
NadiaAuthor's Response: I'm sorry you didn't like it but I think you got completely the wrong end of the stick with this story. They have their happy moments but the happy moments aren't for this story. They're referenced throughout, perhaps just one line here or there, but the entire point of this was to show those seven moments that defined them, not the fluffy ones. I never say in this story that Molly has friends that she goes out and enjoys herself with but they're obviously there, just not relevant to the story.
I'm beyond proud of this story and whilst I appreciate your honesty, I disagree with what you said because I think you missed the point somewhat. My writing implies more than it states and obviously it's not quite as well written as I'd hoped if people aren't getting the right message from it. Report Review
I LOVED this. It was a beautiful, totally incandescent story. I adore your writing style, it's so sweet and uncluttered and somehow you manage to perfectly convey the unsaid truths. This was an utterly gorgeous story, congratulations. Honestly, you're one of my very favourite authors because your writing is so succinct and wonderful.
Thank you for writing this story
- Free_Rhapsody :)Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for such a lovely review. I hear this a lot about my writing but it never gets boring and it really makes my writer's block ease when I hear it.
I really cannot thank you enough for reading this story and leaving such a lovely review. Report Review
I am flailing beyond flailing here. see what you have reduced me too? fangirly squees and arms waving.
i adore this chapter. i think it is one of my favs. we see a different molly in this - she is so sad and empty and lonely and i hate that she is not prepared to smash the preordained fairy tale and have what she knows is right. and i hate that teddy will not do it either - that he plays the role and is prepared to marry a girl he does not love because that is what he is meant to do.
gah. so angsty. i feel like slapping them both.
can i say how much i adore lucy? i love the way you write her - such wisdom beyond the years of the child, and lucy's words to her sister are so filled with meaning i can't even comment on how amazing you are at dialogue. seriously.
im sorry if these reviews make no sense or contain nothing useful - i am filled with nothing but squees and love for this amazing piece of work.
Kate xxAuthor's Response: I find it very strange when people pinpoint this chapter as a favourite because it's definitely my least. This is a huge part of my love of writing and the feedback that I get here: it's nothing without the interpretation of a reader.
You know, in those three words you've summed her up so well. Even though it's obvious, I never really thought of her as lonely but she so, so is.
Teddy. You know, I wonder sometimes whether I actually like him and Molly. As time passes, it becomes less about the duty he talks about now and more about being alone and not knowing how to cope with it. He has Victoire because she's there and willing; I think being alone really scares him.
Lucy is undoubtedly my favourite in this. She wasn't meant to be like that. She kind of just happened :P I do completely adore her and I wish I could get back into writing her like this for 'Learning from Love'. It's very strange seeing her vulnerable.
You are now definitely the first person ever to say that about my dialogue! I try and keep it to a minimum; some people think it's an impact thing but the reality is that I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm reallyyy bad at it!
They make perfect sense and they're actually really useful as well as very, very kind! Thank you so much, Kate. Everything you've said has meant the world.
xx Report Review
my god. this is still so beautiful, even the second,third, maybe fourth time i had read it.
"He touches her like she is spun from silk and beneath her, he feels like gold."
stunning line hunny - such a glorious picture. i love molly, i love teddy. i feel hate for victoire even though she has barely made an appearance yet. that is how invested i am in molly and teddy and how right they are for one another.
again, your descriptive writing is stunning and i am seething with jealously right now. i never feel like i am drowning in your words, merely floating, and that is perfect.
Kate xxAuthor's Response: I spent absolutely ages on that line :P It changed so many times, the phrasing and the words and everything. It was a bit of a throwaway and it's never been picked up but I'm so glad you did!
Oh Victoire. I really did hate her in her first incarnation. I edited later to make her more naive and daft than aware of the nature of Molly and Teddy together but I do still feel quite annoyed at her at times!
Thank you so, so much. You have absolutely no need to be jealous of me :P Your writing is so unique and...just amazing. Thank you anyway! I'm so glad you liked it ^_^
xx Report Review
I have been meaning to review this fic for ages darling. I have read it all and I only think it's fair to give you a review for each chapter, cause i love this so darn much!
your writing is so visual - i could see everything! and you write molly so well - you have such command over her and you know her and through that, you let the reader know her, become her. even though this is third person it has the feeling of first for me - i am drawn in and i am molly as i read this.
your description is to die for, your poetic language even more so. i would quote but i'd be quoting half the chapter!
off to read chapter 2 again! this is such a beautiful fic darling - you should be really proud of it.
Kate xxAuthor's Response: Oh you really didn't have to! It's enough just to know that you liked it :D
I can't get over the feedback I've had for this story, I'll be honest. It came to me fairly naturally when I wrote it, especially the first few chapters, and I didn't really...think much, if that makes sense? Sometimes I think that's why people call my description fairytale-like; I was in a daydream myself when I wrote it :P
Drawn in is a feeling I love when I read anything so to know that you felt that when reading it is one of the biggest compliments possibly ever! This Molly is someone I think about a lot because like someone mentioned before, she's very much a background person. She's nothing special and I think people maybe feel an affinity towards her because of that, her lack of confidence and general...nobodyness. There's something quite ordinary about her, anyway, that I hope people identify with!
Thank you so much, Kate. It means so much to hear it from you!
xx Report Review
I think that this is perhaps the most beautiful, well-written, heartbreaking and descriptive story I've ever read. I've been reading it in small pieces because I really wanted to digest it and take the time to marvel everything you've put into each and every chapter. Honestly, I'm amazed at your talent. The depth you've given to every single action of your characters is mindblowing, and this piece is so incredibly gorgeous. The description is the best I've seen. You're such an incredible writer! You really inspire me to write and push myself to try to make my characters into something more than narrow and flat. Sorry if this is a little rambly, I'm just in awe of this piece ^_^Author's Response: I absolutely have no words to answer this with. I'm going to do my best but I really do just have to say wow. I am completely undeserving of this.
Anyone who comments on the depth of my characters really makes my day. They always come very naturally to me and I do worry that I don't think about their actions enough, so it's a comment that does mean a lot to me when I hear it.
My description is my strength, I'll admit, but by no means the best. The vast majority of TGS put me to shame.
Thank you so much. I really am rambling because you've made me speechless with this. Thank you!
xx Report Review
I've just tried to start this review about six times and I don't know what to say. I feel like crying and laughing all at the same time, because it was just so beautiful! TEDDY, why are you so adorable! It finally worked out! I'm just so pleased for them and completely overwhelmed at EVERYTHING. UGH. I look like an idiot right now.
WHY have you reduced me to this. Hahaha. It was just all so perfect! They said it, dammit, they finally said it! And Vic, oh lovely Vic, I'm so glad you let him go because you've been in the freaking way for seven whole chapters and its about time you let them have their time together without guilt smothering them. I love how this ending just feels so right, because it HAS to be right, because they're right, and their feelings are right, and everyone who thinks different is WRONG.
Basically, a lot lot lot lot of love for this. Really really beautiful (: Laura xxxAuthor's Response: I just clear out my unanswered reviews and bam - this one too :P Not that I'm complaining, of course, because once again it is stunning.
Teddy ♥ I shouldn't really heart him since he's not an overly good person (though to quote Sirius, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters). You don't look like an idiot at all.
You hit the nail on the head. It was all about her and her blessing and her forgiveness. That was what they both needed. Of course, it's all Teddy's fault really :P
Thank you so, so much lovely! I'm really glad that you liked it :D
xx Report Review
Hey! So I got round to reading this after all, and, gosh, it really truly is something special. I'm just sat here pretty much astounded, amazed, impressed...and 50 other words on top of that. You're such an incredible writer. I'm not even kidding, you lovely lady, you. I am just...just wow. I'm not even being overdramatic, this is just so amazing, and heartwrenching, and passionate.
I felt like I was Molly, and I was so completely there whilst reading this, and I could hear the silence of the room, and I could feel Teddy's hair, and, oh. All of it was so, so beautiful. I wish, wish, wish I could write like you! I can't even pick out individual bits, and I hope you don't think I'm blowing you full of hot air, because not one sentence, no, word, was out of place.
This is a bit of a useless review really, because I don't think I can give you any constructive criticism, any advice, any vaguely sensibly formed thoughts. Just, wow. I can't wait to read more. Don't you ever, ever stop writing, because you really do have something special here. I'm so glad I stumbled upon TGS and found this, because otherwise I would be missing out so much. /ramble
Laura xAuthor's Response: Hi Laura! You really didn't have to come and read it. I'm sat here completely dumbfounded after this stunning review. I don't even have WORDS to answer that first paragraph :P
That's really what I strive for, actually. I really want readers to feel some form of affinity with a character, to open up a human side to them, and with the setting and description to give just enough that it's there but not so much that it overbears and stops your imagination from running with it.
It's not useless at all! It's absolutely gorgeous and I just can't really formulate coherent sentences in reply. I have no plans to ever stop writing, even with this horrible block I've got at the minute making me feel like I should.
You've got so many more treats to come from TGS. I could recommend more than a dozen authors far more talented myself. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this, though.
Thank you so, so much, Laura.
xx Report Review
AND THERE IT IS. NOO WHY.
Okay, I can't commentate a lot because I needed to see what happened. And the meeting with Victoire, okay hearts breaking and tears coming again. I would quote that whole thing if I could. You paint every conversation so perfectly. I thought I saw a thread of animosity between Victoire and Molly until everything started to shift as all these revelations -- my heart can't take it! But homg, unselfish Victoire ;_; I love how each character has grown. Everyone, everyone's just perfect.
DO I GET MY HAPPY ENDING?
AT LAST! And it was a touch tenuous at first and you've got me holding my breath again, but the way you described how they finally can be, after being so many things urgent and secret and passionate and deceitful and now, they have been perfect. Gah!!
Rachel! ♥ This is such a good love story. I just asdfghjk. All my creys I didn't read it sooner. P.S. THIS IS MY MOLLY/TEDDY CANON FOREVER.Author's Response: I LOVE THAT YOU CONSTRUCT YOUR REVIEW AS YOU GO ALONG. I wish I could have a chapter seven that was JUST that first line to get reactions. Of course that's not allowed but it does get forgotten sometimes :P
Meeting with Victoire ♥ It definitely starts with some tension and Molly especially is unsure about her cousin's motive, even after Victoire tells her to go for it. This is the moment I feel most sorry for Vic. She loves him. She absolutely loves him and she 'does a Molly' and puts everyone else's happiness in front of her own.
OF COURSE YOU DO.
I contemplated the angst and something ambiguous or bittersweet but it wouldn't have been right. I wanted Molly and Teddy to finally have their happy ending in my writing.
Thank you so, so much, my lovely. I'm so happy that you liked it :D Best birthday present ever.
xx Report Review
Oh reality comes back as Molly returns home. Okay, I got my math going and my time bearings down.
Molly always thought it was amazing how all except the darkest of secrets came out in her family. I really do love how you worked that in.
“You’ve brought it on yourself.” Lucy, wise as always. Sigh reality, why so harsh?
Oh Lucy, LISTEN TO LUCY, MOLLY. SHE KNOWS THINGS. IT'S KIND OF CREEPY HOW MUCH SHE KNOWS. BUT THAT MEANS SHE'S RIGHT. I adore their sisterly bonding. It fits and I can relate (I hold the sense when compared to my older sister :P) And it is exactly what Molly needs to do. Stop running. Stop trying to be Forrest Gump!
Homg that meeting was so perfect and everything ♥ I can see how Molly feels like nothing has changed, but there has been so much that's changed. A different sort of maturity that comes with her worldliness. But the guilt is still there. The indecision, her smallness is still there. It's not all gone.
I can feel something bad about to happen. D:Author's Response: If you've worked out how long has passed between chapters, please let me know. I really ought to get it down in a doc (for the Lucy spin-off) but never quite get round to it. The timescale is hugely confusing throughout.
One of my favourite lines. Actually, both of them are.
SHE SHOULD LISTEN TO LUCY. I love her so, so much. If people just listened to Lucy, their lives would be far easier.
I much prefer that meeting to the one in the last chapter. More has changed than Molly would ever care to admit and Teddy's an idiot for letting himself slip into their past again. They're both very weak people and as has been said before, I'm not sure I like them at moments like this.
Wait and seee, my dear. Wait and see. Thank you!
xx Report Review
OH NO THEY'VE CROSSED THE LINE. All my creys. I do adore that they did though, because it's a line that few choose to cross. I don't think it immediately taints everything; these things happen and with their recklessness from before, I was thinking they would actually begin an affair of sorts.
And silly Teddy, of course Lucy knows.
VICTOIRE. AHH. THE WHOLE SPEECH. YOU TELL HER MOLLY! BUT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. Why are conflicts so complicated ;_; I didn't even noticed until the very end that I had my hand at my mouth and there were tears TEARS I SAY coming out my eyes.
Holding my breath.Author's Response: THEY HAVEEE. I couldn't put it off. To end this without them knowing what it's like to be in some form of relationship, no matter whether it was known or clandestine, would have made it far less convincing - whether they end up together or not.
Of course she does. Lucy knows all.
I ADORE THAT SPEECH. It's pretty much why I like this chapter so much. It's a huge turning point for Molly; it's the background girl coming into her own and realising what she wants, even though she still can't bring herself to admit it.
Thank you again, lovely.
xx Report Review
Oh my god, I think this might be my favorite chapter yet. You've done up Teddy as this perfect dream, but with obvious cracks (indecision, Molly) and I was just waiting for the cracks to show. And this is like a fault line. It is such a bad idea but I want this to happen so much.
Eep! Victoire! And I feel bad for her, I really do, a bit guilty too because I want Molly and Teddy together so much. It just makes me pull at my hair, SOMEONE TELL THIS GIRL THE TRUTH! D:
The ending breaks my heart so so much. Your words, the very last line ♥Author's Response: This is my third favourite. Five and two come top but you've hit the nail on the head: this is the moment when those cracks start to show and it was the point for me that I knew what the ending had to be. It was a chapter that really carried itself when I was writing.
Victoire :( I never intended to write her sympathetically. I wanted her to deserve it but I just couldn't. She's so naive, so innocent and also a little arrogant and selfish, to begin with anyway. I must admit I don't feel sorry for her until chapter seven.
THE TRUTH WILL COME.
The end of this chapter is a highlight of this story for me. I can't remember the last line but the last couple of paragraphs almost made me take this down a darker road - I just couldn't bring myself to make Molly into a(nother) psycho :P
xx Report Review
Hee, I love Lucy. I immediately envisioned that blond girl from (500) Days of Summer, although a lot less caustic of course. Just as awesome.
Tension! Clawing at my face tension D: DON'T MARRY VICTOIRE, TEDDY. All my creys. Molly can't see a future with him! TELL HIM MOLLY. Okay, I need to smack her, like now.
“It’s a damn sight harder for me to watch you with my cousin,” Oooh, burn.
OKAY I MUST GO ON.Author's Response: I love her too! I'd never thought about that girl (Rachel...? Might have made that up) but you raise a good point :P
DON'T SMACK HER! Please! Although to be fair, she probably thoroughly needs it... I think Teddy needs one too. LEAVE VICTOIRE, YOU PRAT.
Mmhmm. Love that line.
ONWARDS YOU GO. Thanks, darling.
xx Report Review
"There is only her and her entire life is packed into the trunk by her side, a few clothes and books and photographs; replaceable, breakable, unimportant." I don't know how to express my proper flailing over words, but here it is. What I love about Molly is that she's probably that quiet background type of girl, but not a caricature of that. She feels so real I can't place her in a category.
Homg, how you write fleeting moments! I just asdfgh over every one of them. Adorable innocent Lily, if only you knew!
AHH. SOMEONE MAKE A DECISION D: CHOOOSE. CHOOSE EACH OTHER. But I suppose there are 5 more chapters to go. -holds breath-Author's Response: She is that kind of girl. She's nothing special. It's a bit like she's the personification of what she is in fanfiction in general: overlooked, boring, in the background. That's part of why Victoire doesn't see her as a threat; who'd pick Molly over her? Molly's thinking that too: why does he want me when he's got her? I think, really, she's what every girl feels like at some point in their life.
Fleeting moments are the most important ♥ I wholeheartedly believe that. It's why this and One Day and that Teddy/Rose floating about somewhere work so well, I think. I'm skipping over the boring bits in between and pulling out the parts that are most important in the shape of the characters' relationships.
I WISH THEY JUST WOULD HAVE DONE SO THEN. Their terrible indecisiveness comes from me as a person, I think :P
Thank youuu ♥
xx Report Review
O_O ASDFGH WHY DIDN'T I READ THIS EARLIER. I like how with one sentence, I give away who I am.
Anyhow, -throws arms up and flails- THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. Something about these sorts of romances, slightly forbidden and unexpected by others, but without the annoyingness of say, R&J. And as soon as you wrote Teddy warming up Molly and then discussing his all-planned-out life and THE HAND. THE ENTWINED HAND.
I am swooning.Author's Response: GINAAA. You're so obvious ♥ Actually, so is almost everyone :P I love you so much for coming to read this. I don't know whose idea this reviewing business was but I'm very grateful.
I hope to god this isn't annoying. It's a bit...long-winded and convoluted but I'm not sure I could cope with annoying :P
HANDS AND KISSES AND WARMTH-SHARING. It's practically my deluded idea of a perfect romance with a horrible Victoire shadow cast over it. I want me this Teddy.
Thank you, lovelyyy.
xx Report Review
I do hope you'll forgive me for not leaving a review on the previous chapters of this story, but I honestly couldn't bear to stop long enough to leave them! I was too enthralled in the story!
You have an absolutely beautiful style of writing - just gorgeous!
Honestly I think this is my favorite story I've found on this site.
xoxoAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so, so much. One review is always better than none. I'm so glad that you liked it and your last sentence is absolutely the biggest compliment anyone could wish to receive.
Thank you. Report Review
Hi Rach! It's me :D I'm just gonna review this first chapter for now.
Well, there are SO many plus points for this fic! Your description is beautiful and the prose creates a wonderful, dreamy atmosphere. I alsmot felt as if I was imagining the whole thing. The inter-relationships between the characters was subtle, leaving the rest to the reader, which is always a great thing. You've set the grounds extremely well for the rest of the story.
I love love love the sparse amount of dialogue, letting your description and Molly's POV do the talking. It's probably something I can learn from you, haha!
My one criticism is that the kiss (or was it?) between Molly and Teddy was a little confusing - I wasn't actually sure if it had happened. I had to re-read the section once more and I'm still not entirely sure whether I've interpreted it correctly. However, I didn't feel that it interrupted the story too much because you've set out this structure which allows the reader to use their imagination, as mentioned.
I also thought that you raised a good point about how Teddy feels as if his life is planned out for him because he's an orphan - I'd never looked at it like that before. Excellent characterisation!
Overall Rach, this is a very beautiful start. Feel free to re-request the next few chapters :wub:
xxxAuthor's Response: OH LOOK. IT'S JENNY ♥
Thank you, my lovelyyy. This chapter's been edited within an inch of its life and we know how much I hate editing. I even got rid of that radiator line after you LAUGHED AT IT many moons ago :P
The idea that someone who's reading it feels like they're imagining it fits perfectly with what I wanted. Other people have said it's quite fairy-tale like and that's basically the feel I wanted from it. I don't want to bog anyone down with details that they don't need when their imaginations can do the work for them. We'll pretend it's that, anyway, and not just my laziness ;)
This is because I'm hopeless at dialogue :P I think any more would probably detract from the tension. I very much wanted this to be something of a simple read, yet with something more complicated underlying it.
Okey dokey. I have edited this so much that parts probably don't make sense so I'll fix that up soon to make it more clear :D Probably in a minute, actually. Or after a biscuit break.
I think that was one of the only ways I could maintain the Teddy/Victoire relationship for as long as I had to. If I made Teddy feel like he owes his surrogate family, it would make things even harder for them. Of course, as things go on you'll see that he should really have just bitten the bullet and told the truth here but where's the story in that? :P
Thank you so much, darliiing. I will pop in again soon.
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Ok, the last chapter. I couldn't just leave it off after reviewing most of the story and I knew I'd feel bad if I didn't give you this last one.
Then they spent years sinking slowly and painfully into their holes of self-destruction, allowing the guilt to gnaw at them by keeping up this charade! There was nothing about this that had to be so complicated...at all!
I find it funny when she told Valerie 'That's up to him.' Again, how I wish I could slap her.
This chapter was the best out of the lot, I think. I continue to be in awe at the use of language you present in your stories and this one, obviously, is no exception. I really liked the metaphor (? - sorry, I speak mostly science now and it doesn't use figurative devices :P) with the clock.
I'm glad you showed us Victoire's side of this twisted tale, how she admitted she was unhappy as well. I think I mentioned in an earlier review that there's always some part of it all that we don't see. I'm glad that she was the one who came to Molly in the end and they had a conversation of sorts where looks spoke much more than the words did, even though the latter was the catalyst.
'He loves you. You love him. Is it that difficult?' - It really shouldn't be but in reality it is. Shame, really.
After 6 and a half chapters of angst and unfinished business, they finally got their happy ending. It really was a nice ending and I really like that when they talk to each other, they say so little but it means so much.
I'm really glad I got this story for the exchange. Not only did I enjoy it but it really made me think.
LiaAuthor's Response: Hi lovely!
Nothing at all! I did wonder sometimes whether my choice of making this 7 chapters - as implied in the summary - was drawing it out a bit but hopefully it was pretty successful :P
Oh really? I still have a very firm attachment to the 2nd and 5th chapters and would probably say they're the best. This one gave me a lot of trouble and I was just glad to get something that I could post and that would give me a solid ending. I will chase up that metaphor as soon as HPFF starts behaving itself for me again because I can't remember it :P
I think getting Victoire in was always going to be the most important thing in the believability of this. I didn't want her to just be the meek one who stuck by him even though he didn't love her. I wanted to give her a story too.
She proposed and she stayed with him but it was out of her own pride and selfishness that she did it. She had her own affairs, less serious than Teddy's because they were just flings, testing the water. I think she loved him and eventually she saw what Molly, Teddy, Lucy and the others had seen for ages: he wasn't happy and so she wasn't happy and she knew that it was really up to her. She had to give her blessing for this to work and she could sit through the endless arguments and the fighting but at the end of the day, it wasn't going to make it any better.
That is one of my favourite lines. I kept trying to get it in earlier but it just wouldn't work and I finally found the character that needed to say it. I would love to give Victoire her own one-shot but I won't overdo it :P I'm kind of intrigued by what her thought process was after she found out about Teddy and Molly and when he went back to her. She's an interesting character too.
They did and I was so tempted to make it ambiguous or leave it hanging but I didn't want to feel that I had to write a sequel about it in a month or two's time, to satisfy my own imagination. They got their rather cheesy ending and now I can explore the other characters.
Thank you so, so much, lovely. You really did not have to review all the chapters but they have been a joy to read. They've made me think and sit down and analyse my own writing and characters. I simply love when a review makes me do that and seven of them...well, I'm lucky.
Thank you, again.
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I honestly have to agree with Lucy, she (Molly) did bring this all upon herself. The thing is, in the early days, he asked her. He said 'just say the word and we can run away together' or something but she didn't want to be selfish, she didn't want to break her cousin's heart or disappoint her family. Then, it's his fault too for being with someone he didn't like all that much.
Lucy has to be my favourite character in this story as she continues to amaze me with the mass of knowledge she's gained from simply being observant. She reminds me of myself in that regard. That scene with her and Molly in the bar made me smile because there's just that one person who knows more about it that you'd care to think.
While I get why Molly tried to be defensive of her plight, it made me wonder how well Molly really knew her sister. Lucy, the all-knowing sage, may have had some secrets of her own. She strikes me as a sort of person who knows how to keep things hidden.
'...and for the first time in years, her stare is focused only on Molly.' - Loved this. I thought about why she never looked at her before then now, she does. To me, it's way more serious than before.
Molly's visit to Teddy was quite interesting and it was something I wanted to read slowly just to take it all in. It's not like before, with the shyness followed by tension then the inability to hold it in any longer. They're just two people who are tired - Teddy, mostly. The mere sight of her was equivalent to rubbing some salt in his wounds and whenever she leaves, he goes back to Victoire to lick them (the wounds). Makes me wonder if he has this fear of being alone - he can't be with the one he wants so he settles for someone else just to fill the void.
Lovely chapter, as usual. I'm sorry this one came so late.
LiaAuthor's Response: She did, she did but you have to apportion a bit of the blame to Teddy. Perhaps if he'd had the strength to split up with Victoire earlier, to prevent her from having to make what really is a horrible choice - her family or her lover - he really could have convinced her. As it was, he was too afraid of being alone. She was too scared of what it might mean and here they are.
She's absolutely my favourite. As I said in my reply on the spin-off, she's not someone I imagined people to be able to understand. On an emotional level - especially in this story - she's quite detatched, far more so than her sister.
She is exactly that kind of person, and that's what Learning from Love will explore. She's not quite as cold and unaware of love as Molly seems to think she is. Molly's quite an openly emotional person. Lucy's not; she keeps it private. She's not one to blurt it out to her friends, and even her telling her close family would be a strain.
I think this is both of them growing up. Molly's realised she has to stop running away but also that she's barely seen her family. Lucy's been at school and she's been out of the country and suddenly her baby sister's an adult with a job, almost out of her adolescence. It's a shock for her. This is also around the time that Lucy has lost that teenage arrogance and is probably beginning to understand, somewhat, what her sister's been through, even if she doesn't relate to it.
It's a bit of a pace change for them. They're not used to this awkwardness that's come from her absence. He's not sure what she's there for, and I don't think she is either. They are tired - that's a brilliant point. He's definitely got a thing about being alone and I think that probably stems back to his upbringing. I'm not sure what he'd do if he didn't have Victoire as this constant fallback.
Thank you so much, lovely, and I'm sorry this reply took so long. It really deserved far more urgent attention. I just needed to get into the right mindset for it :)
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Most stories that I've read which feature Teddy and Victoire describe them as this perfect couple but your story here has turned that notion completely on its head. There, obviously a lot of dysfunction that we as readers don't see, for Teddy tends to drift in Molly's direction.
One thing that stuck out to me in the last chapter is that she didn't ask him what happened that he was drunk and in tears. Yes, she didn't want to ruin the flow of what could've happened but seriously? What's also interesting is that it's the girls who are in tears and vulnerable and eventually find themselves in those sorts of situations. (Well, in what I've read anyway). Not one of her finer moments but I suppose it was a catalyst of sorts. Sorry I didn't mention this in the last review, I only thought about it when I read this chapter.
Now they've pretty much jumped in to the middle of the pool and the forbidden nature of the entire situation hasn't at all lost its appeal. The thing is...people always find out, as they learnt later. It was a bit funny how he walked in with the words dying on his lips while several expletives probably rolled through his mind.
I really felt bad for Victoire because she genuinely didn't know. I knew they found it a bit funny that she was so naive but really, no one wants to think that these sorts of things would happen to them. I was a bit disappointed too that she really didn't have a clue. I agree with her though, Molly was a bit of a coward. At least it's all in the open now.
She knows he made the right decision. She just isn't sure who it was right for. - I like this line. It makes me get all philosophical...who determines what's the right thing in any situation? As it turns out, his decision (Yeah, I read the other chapters before I reviewed this one) wasn't right for either of them.
- LiaAuthor's Response: I definitely agree with you on that. I didn't want this to make Molly into the bad girl for being the third wheel. I think quite often the sympathy comes for the girl (or guy) who is cheated on rather than the one who cheats and sometimes, just sometimes, there is justifiable reason to support the other party. Whilst Molly isn't entirely blameless, I think much of it falls on Teddy in the course of his story. If he was stronger, if he just finished it, it would all work out much quicker.
That's a really good point and I'm glad you raised it. I think that's a turning point in Molly's character. Where before, she would probably not have taken advantage of him in the way she did, now she's getting to a point where she recognises what she's feeling. She knows that she could be in love with him and there's this emptiness and loneliness and horrible lust towards him. She completely takes advantage here of a drunk, upset, almost manic Teddy and for me, it balances the two out as...well, not very nice people!
Absolutely! I could hear Teddy's brain whirring as I wrote it and reread it. It's a very vivid moment for me, when he walks in on them. Where Molly didn't lose her cool at Victoire's apperance in the previous chapter, Teddy absolutely does here. She's a far better liar, ultimately!
She didn't and she is terribly naive (I know someone just like her, in that respect). I'm really not sure that she's too observant or even that she'd contemplate her cousin being the one that he seeks solace and company in. Perhaps she had concerns about there being another woman but I'm not sure she'd ever have considered it to be Molly. That's the main shock.
I like that line too. It came very naturally to finish off the chapter and it always makes me think. Again, he made the right decision in terms of what he is supposed to do but completely the wrong decision for all three of them now that they're embroiled in this situation.
Thank you so, so much for five such wonderful reviews. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story, lovely. It really means the world.
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