Reading Reviews for Frozen Doll
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Capella Black Broken Doll

6th August 2011:
Dark! This challenge was always one I meant to get round to entering, but after reading your entry, I'm glad I didn't try and beat you!

This piece is definitely full of mystery and suspense. I find myself asking all the obvious questions. Why did she die? How did she die? Why did no one care? What had happened in the rest of her life since Hogwarts, that her death wouldn't matter? I love how you evoke these questions, and even more how you purposely don't answer them. By the end, I realised that I actually didn't need to know - the point was that her death was sad and meaningless regardless. No explanations could have made it OK, so having none actually made it all more beautiful.

Really nice idea! Thanks for sharing!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Wait, I won this challenge? Haha did not know that...haha.

I tried really hard to be suspenseful and I am glad that I succeeded. I am not allowed to say how she died...so you will just have to assume things :D. You are welcome...I am glad I shared!

xxpetrapan, Gryffindor


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Review #2, by melian Broken Doll

4th August 2011:
And another evocative story from you. There were a few tense changes in this, where you went from present tense to past tense and back again, and in the first line she should have "jet black hair", but aside from that it was a most intriguing read. I'm dying to know what happened to her, and I think you captured really well the sad reality that people do just ignore people passed out outside pubs, tripping over them, ripping their clothes - it was very well done. It's amazing how much you put into so few words. Again, an excellent job!

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I must say that this is my best story that I have ever written and once I have time I am going to write more wicked awesome stories :D. Yeah, I have a little tense problem...hehe I am working on that though :D Gah, I am so happy with all of these nice reviews...thanks

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Review #3, by CoLorful DreaM Broken Doll

4th August 2011:
This was short, but really well written. The description was incredible, same as the reactions of the people passing here and there, without carrying for the lifeless girl.
She is a beautiful doll, forever frozen in that state. this was incredible as a closing statement; loved it.
A thing Id like to remark is that, once you said Padma was like 24, it cant be Hogwarts Era. You should change it to After Hogwarts.
Anyways, a wonderful one-shot!

Author's Response: OMG...thank you so much! All these comments from everyone make my comback to fanfiction so much better! :D I will change the era...But thanks so much!

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Review #4, by ciararose Broken Doll

17th March 2011:
Hello dear!

First of all, great job with this challenge! You definitely fulfilled the requirement wonderfully. The story is very suspenseful in the way it unfolds, and leaves the reader really wondering what happened to her, but at the same time, it is clear that the focus is more on the lack of accountability and the lack of attention that is paid to her than what actually happened.

I think your description is really well done here. The image you present is chilling, and I really liked the little snapshots of different reactions: the ones who don't care, and the man who sheds a tear for her, they were all very well done and mysterious. There were a few typos, but nothing serious.

All in all, a very good job. I think you could have taken the story a tiny bit further in the future, without revealing what happened, but maybe concluded with someone who does know her recognizing her, or someone identifying the body? But having it conclude where her body is picked up definitely gives some closure, so I can see why you chose that.

great job!!!

Author's Response: Thank You so much!

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Review #5, by shapeshifter98 Broken Doll

13th March 2011:
aw... now im sad.. im an indian

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