I love your narrative style here. It's quick and to the point and it works so well for what you've got here. Your tone's very good throughout this piece. The scene you're writing is very interesting, since you have the perspective on one character, and the uncertainty over what the other character is thinking. It's a dramatic scene and very interesting. I think you've done very well with love and war. I really don't have any criticisms, only that it's short and I'd like more. : )
Thanks for entering the Femslash Challenge.
-HoulestarAuthor's Response: Hello Houlestar!
Thank you!! I'm glad you liked this, and that it won your challenge (great challenge btw!) ;) sorry this took me so long to reply to. It's a lovely review and I'm glad you felt the magnitude of the piece. Very dramatic indeed. Truly a love in time of war piece. I'll let you know when there is more!
--NRB Report Review
Wow. This was a really powerful story. I loved the briefness of your sentences and how it really pushes the story along, making it a quick read. You really get a sense of her feelings and her worries about what they will do to her friendship with Lavender. And of course she's terrified her feelings with scare her friend away, which can be a very true fear for anyone who likes someone they're friends with. I'm curious as to what will happen next. Overall, though, this was really well written and really emotional. Keep up the good work and good luck with the femmeslash challenge, that's where I found this btw.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Wow a review from posting in a challenge? Awesome! I'm glad this caught your attention and I really appreciate the review *hugs*
I'm glad you got the emotions and the power. It is quite an intense scene in my opinion and I'm glad you felt that the language reflected that. I'm curious what will happen next too haha.
Thanks again, EnigmaticEyes!
--NRB Report Review
I figured out one of them had to be Lavender maybe halfway through, and the other is Parvati, yes? An unusual pairing which I haven't read or seen before, but it could have happened. There's just little enough about them to imagine it, even though LavLav at one point went out with Ron.
I liked how you used those five words here, as a pick-up and to wrap the chapter up; a nice circle. Lol, I didn't stop to look whether this is a one-shot - just a peek into the narrator's mind and the outcome to be left to imagination - or whether there's more to come.
Either way, nice chapter, and well done on all accounts!
xox LeoAuthor's Response: Hi! Sorry for being bad and not respoding to this sooner :(
Yes, that is the pairing haha. at one point it was a one-shot, but I hope to one day continue this story and delve into the LavLav/WonWon aspect of the story. I particularly like this pairing and stand behind, it's a shame there isn't more on HPFF with them.
The five words were actually written a LONG time ago, but somehow to me they really expressed a coming out occassion and bam! this war scene popped into my head by chance. Nothing planned or organization...anywho rambling done, thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you found it well-done ;)
--E Report Review
Hey! I'm here with your review :)
This was entertaining to read. I have always thought Parvati/Lavender was possible but this is the first story of this ship I've read. You've made it sound believable, especially as war is a stressful time with emotions all over the place. Also, those two have been best friends over quite a few years so it's natural that one may have developed feelings for the other.
You've put such a lot of thought into the description in this. It provokes amazing imagery and really kept my interest throughout. I particularly liked how you kept their identity hidden until the last couple of paragraphs.
Spelling and grammar was good; I didn't find any problems with that! :)
Good work! :)
-Sophia xAuthor's Response: Hey Sophia!
Thank you for reviewing, and so quickly haha, thanks hun! I'm glad you found this entertaining and believable :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the imagery and description too.
This review was very sweet; thanks so much!
NRB Report Review
I must say that this has caught my attention. I liked how you wrote this first chapter. I am curious to learn who is talking, who the person in love with Lavender is.
I wonder why you don't have any of the usual characters in the description of the fic... will we not be seeing Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco or anyone from that lot in this fic?
Anyway, update soon. I would like to see how this goes on.
Lots of love,
KateAuthor's Response: Hello Kate!
Thank you for taking the time to leave a review; I really appreciate it :) We will be seeing a number of the usual characters in this fiction, but it will primarily focus on Lavender and the one that loves her ;) Can't say when I'll update next, but I certainly hope you enjoy the ride haha.
NRB Report Review
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