I quite enjoyed this story, though normally I go for humor stories.
The only thing that I found wrong with it was, in the last chapter, you said Victoire was born in 2000. She was actually born in 1999, exactly a year after the War ended: sometime in the middle of May, 1998. Report Review
This is beautiful. brilliantly written and I loved the foreshadowing about Ginny and Hermione' daughters! Very very well done. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! And I'm glad the foreshadowing was nice - I kind of randomly threw that in there. :)
Celeste Report Review
First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTE! ♥
You've been lovely and those conversations late into the night (that I have conveniently saved up in my inbox) can practically constitute to a epic novel of things that are only funny/make sense to us. Evidently, Padma and Cho have those moments as well.
I can't tell you how much I love reading the bantering between these two girls and can't help but smile at how much these girls have grown and how much this reminds me of us, and I'm sure, to other girls, it probably reminds them a lot of discussions that they have with their own friends. I love the slice of life aspect to your writing.
I'm grateful have accidentally (and coincidentally) stumbled upon your story on HPFF because despite not being very active -okay, fine- not active AT ALL as an author, being on this site has brought us closer.
And why yes, your world is a quite lovely world to live in. Might as well enjoy your cynicism as much as I can! Oh how I will miss your talks about sliced bread and your contagious condition of comparing guys to various animals once we head off for college. Well, time to go cursing the chair that is actually an AP book for the last time.
JasalineAuthor's Response: THANK YOU.
This was probably the last time you'll review me, and although this response is like...two odd months late, this was a really special story and a really special review to receive.
Thank you for all the support. Thank you for always giving me feedback. Even though this odd HPFF relationship began out of sheer coincidence thanks to the archives, it's always been a joy having my best friend contribute so much to how I write. It's just been a really special and irreplaceable experience.
Now that it's reached it's conclusion, I just have to say thank you so much for everything. Even though you never really got your own writing off the ground as I wanted, all the conversations about writing and you listening to my rants are things I'll always treasure.
- Celeste Report Review
That was ever so lovely...bittersweet?
I really enjoyed it and I cannot wait to read more of your storiesAuthor's Response: Thanks so much :) Report Review
I am drooling, Celeste, over your beautiful use of words.
She had a softer, sweeter voice than he'd presumed and stardust in her eyes. The nights in the dungeon had given her a parched rasp like a cut of the wind, but in reality, she sounded like silence.
Dean hadn't known her. Not really, not much, and never enough.
One step to the left or one look away or one moment where Luna didn't and Dean didn't and so they didn't become.
I love the not-really-but-maybe thing going on here with this pairing. I won't call it a ship, because it's not. This one-shot is so touching and poignant because, as you put it, they weren't even really friends - they were two people thrown together in a terrible time, who just shared each other's company and drew some hope from it.
Luna, while slightly a nutjob, has such a purity and innocence about her character that it's wonderful to see other characters reacting to her, not in the typical judgmental way, and drawing hope from her.
This is so wonderful. I adored this chapter.
MelanieAuthor's Response: I am drooling, Melanie, over this gorgeous review. But your reviews tend to do that to me just in general. ;)
They're not a ship, but I like telling myself that they could have been, though that likely wouldn't have worked out. Dean/Luna have had chemistry since DH for me. And Luna, while still the nutjob, has always been lovable to me, so hopefully she came off that way again. :D
ILY and thank you for the amazing review!
Ah, that's really sweet! It's really funny as well, epecially the personal tormentor Penelope Clearwater bit. I really like it!Author's Response: Thank you! I love Penny as well (secretly, haha). Thanks for reviewing! :D Report Review
It's unbelievable, how well you write.Author's Response: You're lovely - thanks so much. :) Report Review
This is an awesome read! It's really well-written--are you going to be adding more chapters?Author's Response: Hey love! Thanks so much! :D And yes, I am adding more chapters! There's around six chapters in all! ^_^ Report Review
This is incredibly touching. I don't usually actively seek out short story collections but you have weaved breath and life into these moments. The chapters thus far have their own distinct flavour and taste and i adore how you have characterized these people. Everything flows together so beautifully and i think you have really captured the post war mentality of how everything is just hoping and wishing for a better future.
I want to mention a few things from the last chapter as well. I have never read a story as of yet that has captured Percy so beautifully and correctly. I love the characterization and their conversations. Everything is so wonderfully woven together and your style so far is brilliant. I honestly can't see one thing wrong with this! Great job and i can't wait for more.Author's Response: Thanks so much for giving this collection a chance, even if it's not normally what you read. I really love this time period, unpopular as it is, and this cast of characters, underwritten as they are. The post-war mentality was certainly a huge draw for me. :)
If you like Percy or Percy stories in general, I recommend 'Irrational' by RonsGirlFriday if you haven't already read it. Her characterization of Percy was what inspired my Percy in the first place, actually!
Thanks for reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
Oh I love it it's really wonderful :)
Thanks for a nice read :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so pleased you liked it :) Report Review
I love the raw feeling of this chapter. It describes the reality of the post-war era so well-- both of uncertainty and situational in-betweens like "not yet"s and such. I can really see the evidence of change in your style, but those lines of description weaved into Angelina's thought process are traces of your style from last year that remind me of what is still distinctly yours! :)
Looking forward to reading your next chapter!
JasalineAuthor's Response: I love you! That is all! :D Report Review
First off I have to say that the story title and summary are simply amazing. They like jumped out at me and kicked me in the face and said "Hey you, read this story." Anyways, the scene was emotional. I like emotional. I like how you added bits of humor in the story but not overdoing it to much.
It's sad how people change like you portrayed in this chapter. I think this is the type of change that is emotional for most.
Reading this story got me thinking about how I would handle a situation like this or how I would feel in real life and I think when a person can relate to a story in real life, or starts thinking about how things like this could play out outside the story, then you've written a good story.
I found nothing wrong with this story at all. While there was really only once scene, the plot itself was very smooth and detailed.
I give this story a 10/10 and shall be adding it to my favorites. Please update soon =]
blackthoughtsredwritingAuthor's Response: This was such a lovely review to receive.
The story title was one I was saving up for another story for ages, but I saw the banner and the concept formed and I was like "Eh, why not?" so on it went.
People changing is sometimes sad, but in this case, I really suppose it was for the better. Percy/Penny wasn't fated to happen and they both eventually find other people.
I'm so happy that it applied out of the story! It was just a really lovely review to receive and I'm thrilled you enjoyed the little story!
Celeste Report Review
Oh, right, Miss Celeste... you go and write this... this... this wonderful THING, and you expect me to try to post one now? I would be so embarrassed. This is LOVELY.
Percy is charming. I mean, I already knew this, but YOUR Percy is charming. I'm just going to bypass asking your permission and steal him now. -stuffs Percy in pocket-
I really like your interpretation of Penelope. She is divine. She has been evading me for the better part of a year, and now I know why - she has been living in YOUR brain!
You know what? I'm going to steal this line, too:
We'd have been perfect together, if it hadn't been for us.
That is gorgeous. A simultaneously simple and profound statement. When you asked me my thoughts on why this ship didn't work out - that's it right there. You came up with the right answer, not me. :-P
I also liked "a thoroughly embarrassing lack of any sort clairvoyance." That's him to a tee. Someone very smart, and yet so very unperceptive.
As always, your writing is so real and natural, and elegant and ethereal at the same time, and flows beautifully. As always, you bring an extra layer of meaning to what is, on its face, just a random little scene between two characters.
As always, I am that envious creeper lurking in the shadows, trying to figure out how to steal little pieces of your brain...
I love you muchly. But no, I'm not giving him back. Penny can shove it. And Audrey, and the trail of other unnamed broken hearts lying in the wake of his supreme ginger perfection.
But no, really - every time I read something by you, it feels like my heart has swelled to five times its normal size. By that I mean, your writing doesn't just make me think - it makes me feel.
Well done, my dearest!
MelanieAuthor's Response: MELANIE. You are softly killing me with these amazing reviews. Honestly, I'm wondering if a team of ninja elves skillfully kidnapped your keyboard and typed this out with you gagged to a chair or something, because that's the only logic I see in THE RonsGirlFriday writing such nice things to me.
YOU CAN HAVE PERCY. -pushes-
He irritated me very much when I was writing him and didn't at all feel like being cooperative until Penny and I absolutely made him! I did like Penelope a rather lot though, even if Percy/Penny was kind of doomed from the start.
Envious creeper BAH. Not true as I would pay my weight in gold to swap brains with you (in addition to versatile genius, I'd also know spoilers and whether or not Fred/Tibbs actually does happen...I'm still suspecting it, fyi. :P)
Whaaat? You must write yours! That was the deal! The concept was, "If I can write it, Mel can definitely do it better!" not whatever silliness you're saying. :P
With all that said, I am STILL on the look out for said (Audrey/)Percy/Penny, Casablanca style. Do it before I come after you with my horde of ninja elves to force you to submit.
But really, this review made my day, Melanie my love. :D
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