sorry this took so long!!
I really really loved this. it has all the things i adore - lovely description, subtle poeticism and a deep deep sadness that you captured beautifully.
some readers might say it was confusing in the beginning but i trusted in you to reveal the story by the end, and you did wonderfully. i could never have predicted the ending though and i really love the way you did not dwell on his death, rather stated it simply and plainly, as i believe pansy would have in this case.
i liked the way you wrote both characters - ron is someone i find hard to write to so don't worry, but you did an excellent job with him. he was older, sadder, torn, and pansy was brilliant. the memories and her thoughts were wonderfully displayed and the pacing of this was excellent darling.
this is a lovely one-shot. pansy/ron is actually a fav pairing of mine so thank you for asking me to read this. i really enjoyed it.
Kate xxAuthor's Response: Kate,
Thanks for getting to this. I don't mind the wait. I think I honestly forgot who I was waiting for a review on this fic.
Ron/Pansy is one of your favourite pairings? that's awesome that you really liked it then.
Given that I'm not a huge fan of Ron, I found writing for him quite difficult. But this plot was so much fun to write. It was actually meant to be confusing at the beginning and then sort of work itself out in the end. It was how I wrote it.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, Kate. Thanks so much for the lovely review. Report Review
Hi! I'm here from the review tag thread from TGS, and funnily enough, I had opened and began to read this earlier today, whilst I was getting ready to go out and I had rushed through it quickly, favoriting it as a reminder to read in more in depth.
First off - love the Ron/Pansy. Love love love. I'm writing a Ron/Pansy novella but it's completely different - crude humor, a complete hatred of one another. That being said, I am a huge fan of the ship, so I loved going onto your page and seeing this.
It's just a well-written piece, is all I can really say. It had a depth of emotion that isn't commonly seen in the ship and in most one shots, to be honest. But it's not too much, because it's combined with lush imagery and a good amount of dialogue. It's balanced.
I know you said Ron wasn't one of your favorite characters, but his characterization is great. He is how he would be about those he loved - fiercely protective, as caring as he could possibly be, and if it really was all real, he would never have forgotten or given up on Pansy. You portray his loyalty as something he cannot fight (intentionally or otherwise), just like it is in the books. As for Pansy... we don't know much about her and I think everyone that writes Post-Hogwarts Pansy takes her liberties with her, I certainly do, but her character is believable as well.
I quite like this line: "Moonlight and starlight flooded the room as if the universe was crying alongside her, because in that moment just before she realized where she was she remembered with stark clarity why she was there. Her mind was shattered. Her heart broken." Ends everything nicely. Overall, a really solid one-shot.
-NishaAuthor's Response: Coming from a person who is a huge fan of Ron/Pansy, this is incredibly flattering. I am not, as you know, a huge fan of this ship.
I always enjoy putting a bit of emotion into everything I write, regardless of if it is a 50,000 word novel or a 3000 word one-shot. And I'm glad you enjoyed the depth of the emotion that came across.
I tried to stay somewhat true to the books in terms of his characterization. Granted, he would probably never end up with Pansy, but I can't imagine messing up his personality just to fit my fic. As for Pansy, I find her fanscinating to write. I rather like writing for her. And yes, you are right we do take liberties with Post-Hogwarts Pansy.
That was one of my favourite lines, and I'm glad you enjoyed it too.
Thank you so much for the lovely review and for enjoying my oneshot! Report Review
Oh my goodness, I was close to tears upon finishing this.
Great one-shot; very intense, and very emotional. Good pathos; I was able to feel the confusion Pansy felt, the heartbreak, the love, the terrible grief. I only have two concerns, and they're nitpicky at best; change isn't necessary because this is tremendous as is. My first is about the paragraph at the top that starts with "Quickly". Have you ever heard of anaphora? It's a scheme of repetition, a stylistic manner in which you repeat the beginning word or phrase at the start of each sentence or clause in order to make your prose flow more easily. The way in which you use different forms and combinations of "passed" makes that paragraph seem a bit scattered. Maybe you could say, "Quickly, she walked down the cobblestone streets of London, past bakeries with their fresh pastries, biscuits and bread; past the bookstore with its newest editions of tales from exotic places like India or Brazil; past the butchers and blacksmiths; past the seamstress's..." But again, just a nitpicky suggestion, not a do-or-die revision.
My second concern is when you say, "He’ll be here to pick up the pieces, she mused. He’s always here." This is before Ron comes and fills her in on what has happened, and at that point Pansy doesn't remember anything. It's almost as if at this one part, she remembers, then forgets it all again in a split second. It doesn't really seem to make sense within context. Unless it's Pansy's subconscious breaking through, giving her some insight? A form of foreshadowing, perhaps? If so, then forget my criticism.
All in all, I must say: this was pretty darn amazing. :D I've read like, one other Pansy/Ron story, and I hated it. So I must admit, I was a bit weary when you posted this in my review forum. But I'm glad you did, because you're a strong writer who knows how to spin together a good story. :)
~ SheilaAuthor's Response: Really? Close to tears? That's lovely. I'm glad the emotions came across so well. I don't much like this ship, but when I started writing this, I absolutely loved the storyline that began to develop.
As to your second concern, it is more her subconscious slipping through than anything else. Like she just knows he'll be there but doesn't quite understand why. This is more of a 'shattered mind' type deal than anything else. It really has nothing to do with short term memory loss. It is just how Ron explains things to her. It's a little easier to understand that you can't make new memories than your mind is addled because you witnessed the one you love die.
Thanks so much for the lovely comment, and I am so glad you enjoyed what you read. :D Report Review
No! You killed off Ron! That's a bummer. Anyway, this is totally amazing, and I think you wrote Ron wonderfully. As for Pansy, she is always such an interesting charecter. Wonderful story!Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and yes, I killed off Ron. Unfortunately, Ron/Pansy irks me something fierce and to make it realistic to me, I had to.
Thanks again! Report Review
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