Reading Reviews for Crown
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Renfair camels and countesses

23rd July 2012:
Hi! I thought I'd check out this story for the TGS review challenge since I needed to find one where Neville was mentioned (and this qualifies, since "Neville" appears exactly once :D). First off, I think it was brilliant to combine "Alice in Wonderland" with the Harry Potter books since, obviously, they both deal with a fantasy world and have a character named Alice. Silly me didn't even make this connection right away since I wasn't thinking of the HP Alice when I started reading it, but when it finally occurred to me I wanted to smack myself on the head for not thinking up such a great idea myself.

I read "Alice in Wonderland" years and years ago, so I can't really comment on your recreation of that story's wording. However, the way you write definitely seems to fit in with that time period, and I remember the original story reading as pretty darn manic, and you're doing a great job with that here. I feel like I need to take a tranquilizer to slow down my reading since it's so jumbled yet so coherent at the same time.

"Surely they weren't going to sweep the grass? It wasn't very practical at all! There were much better ways to clean grass, Alice knew, and there were certainly better ones with which to clean broomsticks." --It's always interesting to read about an outsider viewing Hogwarts and magic for the first time. As much as we love the HP world, I'm sure all of us have at one point thought, "Couldn't they think up a better mode of transportation than flying brooms? A bike seat can be uncomfortable, so think about sitting on a thin piece of round wood."

I loved the entire part with Dumbledore-Caterpillar and his infuriating use of homonyms. Like the entire idea for this story, you seem really talented at taking things that should be obvious to the rest of us but using them in a new, incredibly interesting way. Like Neville's grandmother being the Dutchess (how fitting!) and all the flower-named female characters in the garden! Wow! It even fits that they're from all different time periods since this is obviously wacky, wonderland Hogwarts.

"I'm a Peeves Cat," said the Cat. "I'm here to appease." --Ah! I thought maybe it would be Crookshanks, but having the character be Peeves makes much more sense. He really IS like the Cheshire Cat, isn't he? The Mad Potter bit should have clued me in right away.

The entire section of introducing the "Black" Queen through this: "And, as it turns out, screaming and loving are not so different. Alice fell for a very long time," was really exceptionally well done.

"God, what a morning." --Can I please just hug you for a moment for ACTUALLY using "God" and not "Merlin" here?!?! The whole Merlin thing is one of my biggest pet peeves reading fan fiction because it really has no basis in canon and the HP characters say God all the time. THANK YOU! That bit aside, the exchange between the two healers was very sad to read, but also very realistic. I think anyone who has ever worked in a social services or healthcare type environment would agree that there are always some people who are just there for a paycheck and could care less about the residents/patients/etc. and a few, usually taken for granted, ones who really care about their work and genuinely want to help others.

Forgive me while I beat myself over the head with a mallet for once again not having the thought that all of this could be in Alice's mind in the hospital. I feel like after reading this story I need to find out what other story could have possibly won the Dobby over yours because this entire piece was just so well-written and fascinating! I truly haven't stumbled onto a fic this well-done and creative in a really long time. I'm in awe! 10/10 for sure!

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Review #2, by tangledconstellations camels and countesses

19th July 2012:

This was so wonderful, it really was. I adore Alice in Wonderland and I love that this is based on that. Everything has a kind of Wizarding twist on it, like the Black Heir and the sorting was really unusual but really creative and enjoyable. I also love that you mirrored Carrols writing style, and the simplicity of it, because I felt as though I might actually be reading his book! This was so fun, though, but then really suddenly grounding at the end when I didn't expect it to be.

You tied in the last part with the rest really well, and it broke my heart a little bit! Throughout this piece there's a sense that Alice is kind of detached from it all, just like in the books, but it all makes sense once you reach the end. Basing this on Alice Longbottom was pure genius - you've made something beautiful and made an adventure out of something that in actual fact is horrible and heartbreaking in truth. It was amazing for Alice to have a real part and adventure.

I really did like this - it's opened my eyes to all sorts of styles and other ways of approaching fanfic. But most of all, this was just touching and sweet, and a really really good piece.

:) Laura x

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Review #3, by Cavell camels and countesses

1st March 2012:
Oh my gosh - this was absolutely beautiful. I love how you managed to incorporate everyone of the characters that Alice probably knew, from Lily the lily, baby Neville the pig, all the way to the Black Heir and Mad Potter describing 'the time of the month', I loved it all! It was a very good story, with an excellent plot, and I really enjoyed reading it. You deserve way more reviews, because this was just excellent.

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Review #4, by TheSilverKey camels and countesses

17th October 2011:
I have not been able to get this story out of my head since reading it.
I love how well you have integrated the two stories in such a creative way.

I could say so much about this, but I think this covers it:
Intelligent, Beautifully Crafted, and Amazing!

Can't wait to read more of your work :)

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Review #5, by choufleur camels and countesses

29th September 2011:
That was incredible, one of the best things I have read here. Came here to read the Dobby nominations, and this is fantastic.
I slowly, slowly started to realise...and then I realised where it was heading, and it made me sad :(.
Now going to read the rest of your stuff!
Thank you!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

And I'm thrilled that you're reading it for Dobby noms! I was seriously a bit scared that nobody would give this story a try because it's sort of strange and odd.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Whatever else of mine you may read, I really hope you enjoy it! ^_^

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Review #6, by onestop_hpfan18 camels and countesses

28th September 2011:
I absolutely loved this and how you've entwined Alice's confused, muddled mind into a whirlwind HP-Alice in Wonderland fairy tale. You really did a great job adapting this and bringing out a similar and well-paced style to Lewis Carroll's work of literary genius. I'm always hesitant to read fanfics that adapt and tie in closely with a classic fairy tale because I love all the fairy tales so much that I don't want anything to ruin them for me. But this only enhanced my love for Alice in Wonderland, and I love how you've adapted it to fit Alice Longbottom and how she is remembering her friends inside of her crazed, jumbled up head. It really kind of reminded me of One Flies Over the Cuckoo Nest, just the whole twist you took on this fairy tale and all. It all happens in her head and she's screaming because she can barely coop to contain it, or so is the impression I get from it. But, yeah, I really like this one-shot, it's excellently written and you should be very proud of yourself. (:

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I tried my best to imitate Carroll, but there were places where I got so uncertain about what I was doing. It's so lovely to get some reassuring words about this whole, confusing one-shot.

Eee, I was so pleased when you said it made you love Alice in Wonderland more! I absolutely adore Alice in Wonderland and the last thing I would want anyone to get away from this one-shot is that it made them like the original masterpiece less because I'd adapted it. That's a good interpretation and pretty accurate! Thank you so much for reviewing! ^_^

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Review #7, by Toujours Padfoot camels and countesses

27th September 2011:
Oh my god.

Celeste. /CELESTE/. I kind of want to have a jealous fit and throw things because I know I never could have written anything like this, or thought of it, and I am just impressed like whoa.

So I am lazy. I keep telling myself that I am going to come read Crown, because it's everywhere. And then I saw an Alice in Wonderland challenge on the forums and remembered hearing about this and thought IMMA READ IT TONIGHT. But due to my Draco-esque bitter mutterings whenever I read your writing and begin to develop a complex, I said NAY. I SHALL READ IT TOMORROW.

But I have come hither. Obviously. And I have drained much of my thoughts in skypeland, of course, so this is redundant. BUT I MUST STATE, FOR EMPHASIS, EXACTLY WHAT MAKES THIS SO SPECIAL.

It's not just how you managed to weave Alice from Wonderland and Alice from Harry Potter into one strange, wonderful world where Sirius Black is the Black Heir and Augusta is the Duchess and every question is answered with another question. Which was really interesting to read, because I wanted to see new characters and find out which Harry Potter characters they were shaped into - all of them were flawless choices. I am rambling now. KITTY PEEVES. ♥ BRILL.

The writing style itself was incredibly Lewis Carroll-esque - I loved how Alice would ask herself strange questions, and the puns and wordplay - stairs and staring and heir and hare. It was spot-on.

But my favorite thing, I think, is the dreamy way that it's told. It's like watching Alice tumble through various years of her life, floating from the Sorting Ceremony to her death and wondering what's going to happen next. It's hazy and dreamy and quite like it's all happening behind closed eyelids. And when you came to the part with the Queen and I realized it was Bellatrix - I quite literally held my breath for about five seconds.

The dialogue in the ward, I felt, was realistic and I liked the continuous, realistic flow of it. Just wanted to mention that cause it deserved props. Interspersed through the dialogue of the caretakers were Alice's own nonsensical thoughts, reflecting on camels and countesses and so very close, but not quite all the way there, to an epiphany. And the /END/. -pulls hair- Gahh, that was just perfect. And so sad. But also YAY, because now it's opened this doorway to recovery, to lucidity. So now I'm it permanent? What about Frank?

It's just so sweet. She's his journey. :( :( :(

Such a bittersweet story, but also really really charming. Delightfully charming. It deserves that Dobby. ♥

This review is a train wreck. I PROMISE I AM NOT ILLITERATE.


Author's Response: SARAH, I seriously don't understand how you can stand such high volumes of my writing. I'm worried you may grow a tentacle or something in the next few days just due to over exposure.

Ahaha, thank you! I'm stunned, among other things, that you found the HP characters translated properly into their Alice counterparts. The Black Heir was my favorite, personally, because I was seconds away from typing in 'Black Hare', before the idea of more wordplay came.

Yes, the Queen is Bellatrix! I also made her the Queen of Clubs instead of the Queen of Hearts because the Hearts symbolism honestly did not suit her situation. And thank you for the dialogue bit! Writing the dialogue made me nearly pull all my hair out as I read Carroll's and tried to keep it in the same vein. None of it made much sense and it tended to go in circles so I got kind of close to exploding all over the dialogue at times. :P

Urgh, I don't know how to answer your question on permanency. I think that's dependent on JKR's canon of Alice. I do think it's probably permanent, since she never "woke up" during Neville's childhood, even though she vaguely seemed to recognize him. I don't know about Frank - he's probably in a similar state himself.

Yes, she is. :(

And thank you for the continuous support! You aren't illiterate, I promise! You're just about the sweetest reviewer I could ask for!

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Review #8, by peppersweet camels and countesses

25th September 2011:
Celeste! Eee, I'm gobsmacked. This was so beautifully written (just like Lews Carroll! You captured his style so well!) and poignant too. I suppose I should have realised at the start who Alice was, but I didn't - so I started off reading this thinking it was just a whimsical little piece about Hogwarts, and then I twigged at the mention of Marlene and...ooft. On the surface, it's funny and whimsical and pretty, but there's so much beneath it and...can't even describe how heartbroken I feel after that ending. You did such a good job of handling Alice - I can't tell you that enough. I've read fics about her mental state before, and more than a few authors handle her quite crudely, but this was I said, gorgeously written with a lot of depth. Pretty sensitive. I just love it, love it love it love it.
This line I remember being a particular favourite - 'Things tore, though this time there seemed to be very little observations to be made. Skin, as it turned out, was as delicate as a breath and so easily pierced and so very breakable.'
Amazing job, Celeste ♥

Author's Response: Gobsmacked? Oh my god, how I love that word, Julia.

I squeed pretty hard when you said it was like Carroll's. Because you're British, so I'm holding you as the higher authority between the two of us! Thank you, thank you for the lovely things you said here. Reading this review made my week!

Thank you again, Julia!

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Review #9, by MajiKat camels and countesses

14th May 2011:
okay my dear i am going to go curl up in a ball of nothing and die now because that WAS AMAZING!! truly the most stunning and clever thing i have read in a long time, perhaps ever to be honest. i adore absolutely everything about it i don't even know where to start this review.

the way you wove canon into Carrol's world is just astounding and in the mind of Alice, my god does it work. As i was reading i was shaking my head in sheer amazement at just how well you handled the intertextuality. i am seething with jealousy right now because a) i could never do this and b) why didn't i think of doing this even?

this is like a dream, a nightmare, a bedtime story told in the middle of the day. it's left me feeling slightly dislocated, as i always feel after reading Alice in Wonderland, which i adore mind you. i think you did an amazing job using the elements of the original story by the way, and in such an ingenius way.

the tone was perfect, absolutely perfect. this light almost ridiculousness about the piece that was wonderfully paced and bright until the emergence of the Queen. and god! that gave me shivers. the part where she smiles at Alice...GAH. so perfectly Bellatrix and so purely dark without being overstated. all you needed to do was put bella in that role and nothing else had to be said because we know Alice in Wonderland and we know canon.

the casting of everyone was wonderful, loved dumbledore the caterpillar, loved the Black Heir (again, your ability to play with words and themes is staggering!!) and Peter the dormouse! brilliant. also loved the flowers - the characterisation of Lily in that moment i found very very interesting. i don't really know why, only that it seems to suit. she is too perfect a creation - the perfect woman, perfect witch, perfect mother - that she is hyper real and you took that away somehow and i love that.

i don't know what else to say. ive read this a few times now and have only just made it to the review box, only because i have had no idea what to say. strangely, i am feeling academic today so i felt like reviewing and deconstructing. actually, i could probably write a whole paper on what you have done here it is that good.

this fic needs more attention. i am going to scream about it wherever i can.

you are amazing darling. i have to stalk your page.

Kate xx

Author's Response: Kate, I can never, ever properly respond to this review. I'm not really even going to try, just knowing how miserably I'll fail to give this review the response it deserves.

First off, I squeed from here to the moon after reading this. You do know what an inspiration you are to authors like me, right? It was absolutely inspiring and incredible that I got such a fantastic review from such a talented author.

I'm stunned you liked this one-shot. It's obviously not that popular, but really, after you and Susan both reviewed this, it's already far exceeded any kind of expectations I set for it and made the effort of writing it worth it many times over. This review had me spouting a lot of happy sounds/general gibberish, so before I add on with more gibberish, I'll end by saying THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING.

- Celeste

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Review #10, by obliviated camels and countesses

25th April 2011:
Oh wow. This was really amazing. Truly.

First of all, this is the first story I've sat down and read in it's entirety without skipping through for about ... I don't know .. at least awhile now. I have been incredibly jittery lately, but amazingly, this story has been the one to glue me to the screen of my little laptop.

I really loved the way you've twisted the entire world of Harry Potter and entwined it so cleverly into the world of Wonderland. The way you've used words is just so wonderful. And that ending - unexpected on my part, but such an amazing end to a great story.

Really wonderful job! 11/10. ;)

Author's Response: I'm majorly blushing back here behind the virtual wall.

Really, thank you so much. I'm also a jittery reader who prefers to skim rather than actually read, so I can totally identify with what you said. And I'm incredibly happy this story kept you reading!

Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you liked it! :D

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Review #11, by Violet Gryfindor camels and countesses

2nd March 2011:
Oh my gosh! That ending! What an ending! Wow!

I'm absolutely stunned. I could see that it would be complicated from the beginning, which is why it took me so long to read, and finally review, this, but the connection between Alice Longbottom and Carroll's book is rarely touched upon, though you'd think it'd be natural, both of them being in major fantasy books; JKR is making a definite reference to Carroll's Alice. Yet this story includes the first extended connection between the two, and wow, does it make a connection!

I loved everything about this story. I was going to list all the things I loved, but then I realised that it would mean rewriting your whole story. The intricacy of this story is astounding, how all the pieces of Alice's life come together slowly - and I can't even start to discuss ALL of the canon elements you snuck in throughout this story - then exponentially faster until the moment she meets the eyes of the Queen. It was fantastic how the style suddenly changed at that moment from the playful, though frustrating fantasyland to that dark void that is Bellatrix, whose description was brilliant because it captured the feel, the essence of her rather than her appearance. Reading it made me shiver with cold.

The ending made me tear up, it's just so powerful, so incredibly sad. First there was the language as Alice began to fall, which was beautifully poetic and poignant, then the harshness of the dialogue, which is set in such contrast with Alice's voice - it was fantastic how you slipped in her thoughts there, bringing the threads together for the readers, though failing to do so for herself. She hasn't forgotten her life, but she can no longer make sense of its details, and that's what makes her story tragic.

This is really brilliant. I can't say that enough. This story deserves so much more attention - it's the best story I've read in a long time, perhaps ever.

Author's Response: I'm not sure if you saw my post in the 'Reviews that made your day!' thread in TGS, but this review made me incredibly happy. I'll admit that seeing the pen name was a shock, especially seeing as though this story's really not very popular. But this completely made my week!

Okay, I'm unsure of how to respond to all of this undeserved praise. You're very, very kind, and as you're one of my favorite authors on this archive, I'm overjoyed you liked it. Writing this story was highly irritating and simultaneously thrilling, just due to the details and the characterizations.

Also, I'm so glad you got the HP canon and Carroll references! It was one of my chief worries that nobody'd read 'Alice in Wonderland', since when I asked the residents of the TGS cbox, a grand total of 1 person had read the original book. :P

I wrote most of this in one go and all of it within a day, (though the editing took another two days) so I had a lot of insecurities about this piece as a whole just because it sprung up all very suddenly. Reading this review's been incredibly reassuring, so thank you for that.

I'm really unsure of how to convey how lovely this review was, particularly after the past few days I've had, without repeating 'thank you' over and over again. This was a really wonderful review. :)

- Celeste

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Review #12, by RonsGirlFriday camels and countesses

26th February 2011:

Ok, Celeste. We need to have a talk. Seriously, every time I read something new of yours, for a moment it makes me want to admit general defeat and delete everything on my author page.

Why are you so amazing? Why so clever, Celeste, why? And what the devil goes on in your head that you're able to come up with things like this?

I realize a lot of this was based on the original Wonderland and the movie - but the way you wove in the HP characters was so clever and charming. Can I tell you how much I loved the (Sirius) Black Heir and the Mad Potter and Peter the mouse? It worked so perfectly. I don't think I could ever have thought of something myself, i.e. turning the Hare into an Heir (because Sirius is the Black heir - at least until he's disowned, anyway). And using all the female names from the book that are flowers, making them into the actual flowers in Wonderland - so charming.

You really brought to life the peculiarity and inanity of this girl's time in Wonderland - turning everything into riddles, and creating a general mood of confusion and wonder.

So when I first heard you say this was mainly humor, with horror at the end, I admit I was like, "How exactly does that work? It can't be done!" But it works here, because we start to realize what's going on, and when you finally hit the part where the Queen enters, and we realize who the Queen is and what she's done to Alice, knowing how Alice Longbottom was driven insane by Bellatrix - having that point of reference, it retroactively casts a horrific feeling over all the humor and oddness we just read, because what was a bit of lighthearted madness is now, we realize...just madness. And it's very sad.

So there are a couple of paragraphs towards the end - one where Alice is observing the Queen, and one talking about the mind breaking - that, first of all, I want to say they're beautiful. Everything you write is beautiful. But they're very lyrical and full of your infuriatingly gorgeous prose, and they are so very different from the tone of the rest of this story, which reflects Alice's naive, curious, bemused, childlike thoughts. Now, you being the excellent writer you are, I figure this was probably done intentionally, and if it was, you should ignore everything I'm saying right now. But even as I was realizing you must have done it on purpose, it did make me a little disconnected from the story for a moment because the shift in the tone of the narrative was the slightest bit jarring. But that is my only critique. ♥

I love - I repeat, I LOVE - that you tied in the part about Neville and the wrappers. I almost died. Seriously. And it's just some inane musings of Alice, about pigs and chocolate and wrappers being more nutritious - but taken in context with what we know, it's so sad.

So...humor and horror? You have achieved it. I kind of hate you, slightly. This is the kind of thing I read and I sulk afterward for half an hour wishing I could come up with ideas like this.

And seriously, man. Stop writing things I'm going to have no choice but to recommend on the forums. People are going to start think you're paying me off.


Author's Response: - gurgles -

Um. Okay. How does one respond to this slew of undeserved flattery, Melanie? Is this because we're TGS-engaged? Hmm? Because no amount of flattery is going to let you off the hook from future nagging on Percy/Penny and such. :P

The Black Heir and the Mad Potter! I had so much fun writing them and the flowers, of course. :) I'm unsure of how to respond to this wall of wonderful comments, so I think I'll resort to doing what I usually do in such situations.

* plays tuba *

Those paragraphs near the end were intentional and meant to be jarring; they were a transition into the next concept of Alice's real madness, which couldn't've been done with Carroll's style (I tried - it wasn't as effective, unfortunately, and it didn't do much justice to her madness). But critique is good! It stems from a closer reading of this, which I'm beyond thrilled that an author of your caliber even bothered to do for someone like me. XD

That part was so last minute, haha. I'm glad you liked it though; I literally tacked it on as part of the final edits as I was rambling on.

You might hate me (though you have no reason to, I assure you; by that logic, I'd have been lurking outside of your house, ax in hand ready for swinging every time I read a chapter of Irrational or TMW), but I LOVE YOU and this review!

I so AM paying you off, though, Mel. I'm not sure how I'm doing it, but obviously I've poisoning your mind or using voodoo dolls or the like (perhaps it's the tuba playing) because I am utterly undeserving of your recommendations or your kind words, but I adore them and squish them and save them in a little box forever.

That sounded creepy.

But nonetheless, ILY!

- Celeste

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