Wow, this was really good. And I usually don't go for this paring, but this was just so beautiful and well done. Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Hi again :)
Honestly, I wouldn't realistically think Tom/Minerva could happen, but speculating about it is fun. There's that forbidden romance thing going on that's interesting to explore.
Thank you for the review ♥ Report Review
WOW! I just love the imagery of this story! A unique paring, and wondeful sense of mystery an just, wow...
You had a good mix of plot and fluff, so good job on that.
I really liked the way you characterised Minerva... It was really subtly beautiful!
This is GrangerDanger76 for TEAM BLUE! :)Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it!
I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the imagery and the characterization in this story. :)
I don't even know what to say. I feel like a broken record when I review your work, but it's hard to review such beauty. I remember you saying that your style of writing was a bit different for your one-shots than Vital, and that's obvious here. This is just...poetry. The rhythm, the word choices, the imagery...everything is just mind-blowing. I can't get over this.
There's something beautiful about the beginning, how you describe her having feline qualities like her Animagus. It's fluid motion and a grace that you convey so easily with your words. I love how at first she is frightened by the darkness, but then when Tom is with her, the light is attracted to them. The introduction of him too was excellent, first with the picture, and then him in the flesh. I can't picture Minerva acting so coy, but it works here.
The repetition of the beginning lines and then how it all sort of crumbles - the bit about her broken grace and the parody of a ballerina...just guh, so perfect.
I really don't like Tom/Minerva's because I have a hard time understanding the ship but you explore it so beautifully here; so heartbreaking and bleak. Lovely, lovely job. Report Review
I don't even know where to begin. I'm literally sitting at my laptop thinking where to start - your language? the imagery? the utter bleakness of this story? the beautiful rhythm pounded out in text? It was so symmetrical and it flowed seamlessly from one moment to the next.
I find Tom/Minerva stories to be OOC and I guess it's because none of us really know what Minerva was like when she was young, capable of falling in love so quickly and so fast. I think you've got the young Tom, the soon-to-be Voldemort captured neatly. He's never warm and gushing here with Minerva. He's cold, like he always would be. I like that you took that approach because it allowed me to really get into the story.
The Language! I can't get over it!
xCharAuthor's Response: Hello!
-blushes- wow, I'm glad you liked that much of this piece. :D
Honestly, yeah, I have no idea what Minerva was like as a girl. But it's sort of fun to imagine "what if?" I'm glad that Tom seemed aloof enough, though, to be believable.
Aww- thanks so much!
And I appreciate the review :D Report Review
Another fabulous story! I have a complete soft spot for Minerva/Tom, it actually kills me sometimes. This was really quite heartbreaking - not devastating, but bittersweet and almost resigned. I felt that Minerva has this sort of acceptance about her - she knew it was the end, and she had submitted. Beautiful fic, I adored it!
Your Secret SantaAuthor's Response: Hello again!
I know, Minerva/Tom is one of my favorite pairings because there can never be a happy ending for them.
Thanks for the lovely review! Report Review
I really like this, it's so descriptive and the last sentence made me want to cry it was so beautiful! The characterisation was brilliant you know how you captured her perfectly without her needing to speak at all. The technical vocab was a nice touch too! I liked the way that although you could tell she loved Tom that she couldn't kiss him and it was like she was avoiding committing herself to him. It was lovely. I'm so sorry that this is so late and the challenge winners will be announced shortly!
-LpF123 xAuthor's Response: I'm glad you like it. And thanks for the sweet review!!
You really saw the subtleties of what I was trying to convey, which is great!
Let me know when you announce the winners! Report Review
Hey Aderyn, notreallyblonde44 here from TGS! Doing and little reviewing ;) 0 reviews? Must change this immediately! Hmm the summary is intriguing and I'm curious what little Minerva got herself into. I might have to go look up what your title means...just kidding, I like "An Exercise in Silence" :P Onto the review!
Things I noticed:
'She steals over, each step measured taken with the same measured fluidity.' -measured is in the sentence twice and I think the first one doesn't need to be there.
'feminine lashes and neatly coiffed of ebony tops his head.' -I think I understand that you mean his hair is coiffed, but this line was confusing.
'She freezes, her hands tremble a cloud passes in front of the sun, darkening the room.' -comma after tremble. Haunting line!
'He wears a tarnished gold ring on one finger so their fingers cannot lace completely.' -Brilliant line! It symbolizes so much -an intimate gesture, but one that isn't full and can't be complete!
More often than not there should be a comma before 'but' in sentences. There were a few times this happened, but it didn't detract from the story too much. This is just me being super nit-picky :P
Ok. Wow. I loved the ending. You completely turned it around on me! I think the parallels yet distinction. And the creepy to reality with the cloud that dissipates over Tom was great. I personally am I huge fan of little to no dialogue, so I appreciate how well you handled no dialogue. The descriptions and imagery were all pretty nice. Sometimes I found myself confused and having to re-read certain lines because they didn't come together so smoothly. An example would be: 'Rays of light refracted through glass fall in slivers of gold onto the floor, turning the nocturnal into a gleaming dawn paradise.' The diction here for some reason, and in a few other places, seems so forced and overworked to me, sorry :/
Overall, I think you handled the ship well and I liked the shift in physically characteristics, especially the image of Minerva being a sloppy ballerina. Considering how graceful she was in the beginning that line really showed he fall, which is so important, you definitely mastered show don't tell in this fic! I enjoyed that element the most. Also, I love this ship and I liked that you used imagery instead of like "Minnie and Tom dated for 3 years and it had its highs and lows' -that would have been so boring, but this certainly wasn't boring! Thanks for the read & hope this review helps ;)
Lisa/NRBAuthor's Response: Wow! Thanks for such a nice long (and very helpful) review.
I'll try to fix those grammar (or clarity) things you pointed out, good eye for catching them. I'll also go and try to fix some of the diction.
Oh, you like no dialogue? Yay! I think that it can be really fun to write and read but I know a lot of people don't appreciate it.
Thanks again for reviewing, definitely helpful. :) Report Review
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