Hey! I'm here for TGS Review Challenge #4 :)
I don't think I've been to visit your author page since I read (and loved) 'Amaranthine'. Of course, once again you've blown me away, and reminded me that I really should check out your stories more often.
This was powerful. Wow. I love your characterization of Teddy, assuming he's the husband figure here. I always imagine him to be sort of quiet and broken, because of the loss of his parents, but we've seen in Remus (and Harry, also an orphan) the tendency for a frightening temper. I love how you made use of that and challenged the conventional. You've made him so flawed.
And Victoire! I love her. She's confused and weak and doesn't have the world figured out, and I thought your style here and the use of repetition really made me feel like I was in a tilting hourglass, following her as she tried to make sense of things and mourned how quickly meanings can change. For the record, I think the main Victoire was Victoire Weasley, but I don't know that it really matters to me. My Victoire is a contrasting combination of delicate sensibility and secret inner toughness, both qualities inherited from her mother. You've written her here much like I would.
Wonderful job! I'm glad I got to read this :)
-Amanda Report Review
I don't even know what to say. The structure was amazing, as well as the plot; and of course, the two Victoire's. Asdfghjkl; I swear, everything about this fic was /flawless/. Report Review
I have to say, without being patronising or simpering- you are a very gifted writer. I'd said in my review of Heartache Squadron that your style reminded me of Douglas Adams'. With this piece, I keep thinking of Beckett's plays, Embers in particular (with the repetition and recurrence) and Eliot's poetry (with the flow and words). But I don't mean to be reductive; your writing is distinctly your own and it is incredibly stylish. I am amazed at how deftly you've moved between these two very different ways of storytelling: the humour, lightness and mischief of Heartache; the poetry, emotion and depth of Hourglass. Congratulations!
In this story, you're at your best when you pack complex thoughts into succinct sentences that leave the reader hanging on every word: short bursts and spaces to breathe. For this reason, I'd say that the paragraphs in (i) and (vii) to a lesser degree, did not hit me as hard as the rest of your story did. On a similar principle, I found myself wondering if (xxi) wouldn't be even more unsettling if you deleted from "it is the secret" until "you hear it." But then, I have an unhealthy fondess for unnerving/vaguely unsatisfying/ambiguous endings, so what do I know? :)
And, of course, it goes without saying that these tiny niggles in no way detracted from your wonderful story and skill. Thank you for sharing it! Report Review
Well, the Victoire/Victoire thing kept me reading. I was just like, "WHAT is going ON?" I honestly though Vic had gone crazy and was talking to a reflection of herself at first. So you convinced me :) But then again if you ask any of my friends, that's not very hard to do (I'm a tad bit gullible). But it was good writing, though the brokenup-ness kinda bothered me. I don't know if its explained somewhere or I'm just being totally obtuse, but what's the purpose of the roman numerals? I get there's a point, I just can't find it. just clarifying that last bit was a just question, not a criticism.
All in all, though it wasn't really my cup of tea, I thought it seemed thought out and well-written. Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!
Personally, I think of the main Victoire as being Victoire Bertrand. A lot of that is because I think of Victoire Weasley as being confident, and in control, and far more of an ode to lesser gods than a song of battered angels.
Before I start to get into the real review, I have a quick disclaimer. I am a bad little English major in that I am very picky about where I like ambiguity and unclear non-linear organization. That's not to say I never like it, but it often irritates and frustrates me more than anything. This piece did not leave me feeling irritated or frustrated, but I do want you do know that this style often doesn't work for me, just in case I say something that makes you think, "She really missed the boat."
Okay! So, disclaimer aside, how was the flow and idea?
Well, I love the idea of Victoire/Victoire (though I did briefly wonder if she had a clone or something, and whether getting involved with yourself didn't count for incest), and I think I'd have loved it a lot less if you'd executed it in a different way. It's not the plot as a whole that's unique and compelling, it's the way you expressed it - if you'd gone about it in a more linear, descriptive, conventional fashion, it would have been a well-written story, but nothing different. (I assume. Maybe you would have done something else crazy to it, I don't know!) This was unique, and on the whole, I enjoyed it. The flow was definitely choppy and disjointed, but, again, I think it kind of had to be, and it worked for me.
That said, there were definitely a few points where I had my usual reaction to the organization method - most notably when I saw the second "ii." I'm not sure if that was intentional or accidental, but both the 2nd section and the 9th section (if my count is right, and I'm not just losing my mind) are labeled ii., and after I saw that I spent half of the piece trying to figure out if you were trying to depict them both by reusing roman numerals (which thankfully, you weren't).
I'm not sure what else to say about it (which makes me feel like an awful reviewer). I liked it, and I thought it was a beautifully executed idea. :)Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for reviewing! ^_^
Ahaha, love the whole "far more of an ode to lesser gods" bit you put in there. It's just teasing enough for my taste. XD
I'm glad it didn't irritate or frustrate you! I won't lie - I know it might've irritated others, but sometimes I think that irritating people was just part of its journey.
And haha, I don't think the falling in love with yourself idea would've been incest, but it's an interesting thought! And I do think that the style as you mentioned is the "something crazy" that made this story different. I think you're right; without the style, this story could've flopped into a generic subgenre.
The second ii is intentional. A few other reviewers mentioned it, but it's the only section that repeats because both events occur in a very similar timeframe - in my mind, they're really only a few weeks apart and had the same tone, so it wasn't drastic enough to warrant a separate number. One described their process of falling in love and the other of their wedding. So, yeah, I did reuse the roman numeral, but just that one time!
No, I totally understand what you mean! I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! ^_^
CELESTE!! I am typing as I read so I hope this makes sense!!
Firstly, I have read this about a hundred times and each time, it never loses a thing. this is sheer beauty - perfection even - and I am seething with envy right now. i think i will go hide in my cave and never write again!! seriously. this review will not be overly helpful in any sense - i am just going to flail and gush and squee all over the review box!!
right, THE STRUCTURE!! OMG the structure!! I think I hate you. no, i could never because you are amazing, but seriously?? seriously? just wow. that beautiful and oh-so-tricky repetition, working the lines/phrases/words of the previous section into the next. talk about word play!! like I said, I am ferociously jealous!!
Your ability to create meaning and then change that meaning is amazing! your work really makes me think, and I have read more than I have reviewed *is ashamed*. the second person POV is one of my personal favs and this piece would not have worked in anything else. fics like this just need to be second person.
I just...THE PLOT!! Celeste, see what you do to me? My mind is a bubbling, melting mess at the moment (i've been up since 6am and it's now 10pm...forgive me for the weirdness!). The ship is fantastic - btw I always saw the narrator as Victoire Weasley - don't know why. the voice just seemed to suit her.
I don't know what else to say. you blow me away. you are so brilliantly clever and I wish I had the capacity to even come up with an idea like this let alone execute it so perfectly!!
*bows down to the shrine I have of you in my room*
sorry, that is so totally creepy, lol.
this is amazing. you are amazing. i can't say anything else!!
Kate xxAuthor's Response: KATE. o.O
Oh my gosh, I am speechless. Do you know how much I love you for this review? You're MajiKat, after all! Half my HPFF time was spent stalking amazing authors like you and worshipping you. If anything, I owe you a creepy shrine.
But honestly, this review (and the one for Skyline) blew my mind clean of any words I could form. This was so, so lovely and I squeed embarrassingly loud reading this.
So, yeah...I think I'm now equally creepy to you after publicly worshipping you in this review. But thank you so much for reviewing! Your support of it means a lot. :) Report Review
I've had to read this a few times to really wrap my head around it and even now, I'm still not sure everything that is going on. It seems to be the purpose though, so I'm not too concerned about it, but if my interpretations are wrong in anyway because of said confusion, I'm sorry!
You're right! I do adore roman numerals and their use here is exceptional. The way you move backwards and forwards but still seamlessly weaving everything together is enviable. Actually, everything about this story is enviable. Your writing is something that I admire and well, I am SO jealous of the beauty in your words, your descriptions, everything is perfect.
I love the repetition between the parts, the reuse of the same sentences but in each section, they mean something different, they're interpreted in different ways depending on the situation in which it's read. It's fascinating how well you can do that. I think my favorite example of this is this: "Listen to me, Victoire. Listen to me. Listen, listen, listen to me. Me alone." You love his voice.
And you think of how precious that love is, but then you read it in a different context, where he's demanding and it isn't about love, but about being property and being controlled. Then again with that idea, how she loves his voice and she wonders what it reminds her of and "then it hits her" and it reminds me of a book opening but then it hits her again, and it's really a book being thrown at her and he's hitting her. It gives you a deeper appreciation for the complexities of language, I think.
The repetition of her name too - the rhythm of your life in patterned breath - that's how I read it, like a heartbeat, the pulse of your story. It's got a certain rhythm to it that fits so well with the flow.
I'm not going to lie, when I first read it the pairing Victoire/Victoire, I was curious as to how you were going to write this and then as I started reading the story, it was definitely confusing. I wasn't sure at first if it was some sort of Narcissus complex? Like the "idea" behind her relationship was splintering; it was no longer idyllic or perfect and she was seeking that perfection in herself or something, so it was definitely a surprise when you realize there actually is two Victoires and then I remember lines like, "I'm always compared to you" and thinking it was Victoire shipped with herself, I could understand that comparison. So then I realize it's a different person completely, and it spins that sentence in a completely different direction. But you still bring that whole idea of the mirror-image and Victoire's Narcissus Complex when they're at the train station, and they both reach their hand out to grab the papers and it's like a mirror-image, you know?
I loved this line to describe them though to try and separate them: "She is an ode to lesser gods. You are the lyrics sung by battered angels."
I'm going to say that I think the narrator is Victoire Weasley, just because she was my original thought when I believed she was shipped with herself, but it seems to fit, I think. I don't know. I get this image in my mind of this beautiful, rich woman and another woman, slightly battered and bruised, and killing her husband to be with this woman who understands her better than we can imagine and loving her is as easy, like it was easy to love him, once. But there's no distinction between the two, you know? Like I can't say oh, this one is for sure Victoire Weasley and the other is Victoire Bertand and I think that is what makes the story as ambiguous as it is. It's deliciously confusing.
I think throughout the story we see how both the other Victoire and her husband's relationship affects her which contributes to the shifting of the meanings of the sentences. I love the ending. The idea of being with Victoire at the end, finally free, but then realizing that despite the fact that he's dead, she can't forget him and she remembers the times when she was in love with him and how perfect it was but then it wasn't perfect. I wonder how long it will take for this to splinter too.
I don't even know what else to say. This story is epic and slightly insane, very chaotic, that's for sure. It's easy to get lost in the words, in the constant repetition and the disorganized manner in which it's written (by the way, you have ii written twice, not sure if that's intentional?), but I think that's half the fun of reading something like this. It's meant to be confusing, and to make you think and I think if anyone else attempted this, I might have balked at the idea of reading it. But you, you have a definite gift with words and you make something so confusing into something brilliant and beautiful. I'm sorry for this disorganized review but I figured it suits a story such as this. Just, really beautifully done.
Thank you for asking me to review!Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, forsakenphoenix! I was a bit apprehensive about asking, since I've fangirled over some of your writing for ages, but this made my day! :D
Eeek, thank you! Honestly, there are a lot of possible interpretations to this and I think you did a stellar job, especially considering how intentionally confusing I tried to make this. I'm really thrilled you liked the wordplay; I know a lot of readers found it confusing and repetitive, but it really means a lot that you liked it. ^_^
You're the first person to catch the mirror image thing! I was wondering when somebody would point that out to me! It's a definite allusion to the Narcissus complex which I did hope people would pick up on, without actually being a Narcissus complex. It was an idea of both of them being the same kind of person without it being a literal interpretation.
Nice guess! I love that you said it was Victoire Weasley. :) And Victoire will never forget him or forgive him for all the things they went through together during the course of their marriage.
The ii section is intentional; both those sections are set in the same time-frame, probably within the space of just a few months. One is Victoire describing what it felt like to love Teddy. The second is Victoire and Teddy getting married.
Thank you so much for your thoughts! It wasn't disorganized at all! I loved reading your interpretation and thanks again for giving this story a chance! Report Review
While I liked the story, I found the repeating of words annoying, and found it a bit confusing.Author's Response: Ah, unfortunately, the repeating of the words is half the point of this story. It's supposed to symbolize a rather lot and is basically why the concept of this story was made. And the confusion is also intended! This story is not possible to be understood in one read. It's...different that way. :)
Thank you for reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
Incredible; honestly, this is such an original piece of writing and beautifully written. Evocative and haunting. At first, I thought Victoire/Victoire was almost a Narcissus complex, her falling in love with the perfection that she is, but this had a great twist. I really loved this. ~TashaAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you! Yeah, a lot of people suspected the Narcissus complex, so I went around it and interpreted Victoire/Victoire more literally.
Thanks so much for the review! :) Report Review
Wow. Wow. Wow.
That was amazing. Beautiful. It flowed so smoothly that I couldn't stop reading and, though obviously I was confused as to what exactly was going on, I just let the narrative carry me along. Hooked.
I loved the repitition of the lines and whenever it said "Victoire, Victoire" I imagined it like a heartbeat, rhythmic and I felt as though everything was moving really slowly. Your writing is spectacular - excellent description, compelling. This was almost hypnotic.
I thought of it as Victoire Weasley but of course, now you've put that idea into my head, it could easily be either!
Thoroughly enjoyed this,
Maybe :)Author's Response: Thank you!
This story was probably one of the most difficult I've had to write to date, but I'm so, so happy that you liked it! A lot of it was kind of the product of timing (and carrot cake - mostly carrot cake), so to hear that it had a good effect on readers is just amazing. :)
Thank you so much, Maybe!
Celeste Report Review
This was strange, but in the best way. (: I love, love, loved reading it. It was powerful and it was choppy but in an intentional fashion, and it was just really interesting to read. I imagined it as Victoire Weasley, but now I'm not sure which it was!
Just... wow. Great, fantastic, beautiful story that I loved reading (even if I didn't fully understand it).
-JasmineAuthor's Response: You're lovely, thank you!
It was definitely choppy and chaotic, as it was meant to be. I really adore your reviews - they make me smile. :)
Thanks so much, Jasmine! Report Review
I'm a little confused...??
Really well written though :DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
As I started reading this at first I found it really confusing but as I reached the end I found I really, really enjoyed it no matter how confusing.
xxAuthor's Response: It's meant to be confusing. ;) But thanks so much for reading! Report Review
Whoa, this was quite a story and I mean that in the best sense possible. I really did enjoy the way you shipped Victoire with herself and described how she felt of her family versus how she saw herself as, simply put, being free. Well, at least that's what I got from it, it was a bit of a finding yourself piece. As for which Victoire was the main character, I think they both were as one was more prominent at the beginning until the other took prominence over the other as she found herself, so to speak. Anyway, lovely one-shot! Keep writing, hun! (: 10/10Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I think the most entertaining part of writing this piece was receiving the feedback and hearing everyone's interpretations. It was definitely a find yourself piece, but the finding probably happened a bit more violently than it happens with other people!
Thank you for reviewing!
Celeste Report Review
Hmm. I'm not even sure what to say. What does one say after reading a story like this? Alas, I'll try to form some semi-intelligble words.
It was quite the remarkable story. It was incredibly captivating. I couldn't tear my eyes away once I began reading it. There was something about it that was so intriguing I just had to keep going.
The flow was amazing. You flew through the scenes and snippets perfectly. I loved that even though it had so many breaks, the breaks were all connected. It gave it such an unique air to it.
The imagery was really beautiful, as well. The way everything was described so - trying to think of words to accurately describe this story - wistfully? imaginatively?
Basically, this was great! I thoroughly enjoyed it. You clearly have a lot of talent(: I'll have to check out some of your other work when I have time - especially all of your Scorminique.
Erica. Report Review
Celeste, when I first read this, I couldn't review. I really couldn't. I needed time to think. To absorb it all. And also to read it over about five more times. It's funny because each time I read it, I see something new, something I should have seen before to tip me off to the ending, but it never once fails to surprise me when I finally finish reading.
I envy your ability to write this almost without a timeline. It flows in a way that a story told strictly in time could never achieve. Honestly.
When I read this, I keep finding myself going over and over some sentences, lingering on each word, feeling it, smelling it, tasting it, because that's what they do. They capture moments. The way you describe these scenes is the ultimate in sensory input. Memories aren't full pictures. They are the feeling, the touch, the taste, and you captured that so well here.
Normally, I would put my favorite lines down here and then just weep at their perfection, but that would probably have me copy/pasting the whole darn thing, and that's just bad form, haha. Suffice to say, holy god, how on earth did you do this and also thank god you did this. Lovely lovely writing my dear.
Annie Report Review
OMG I WAS MENTIONED.
IS THIS REAL LIFE? *faints* THANK YOUUU ♥ YOU'RE THE BEST.
Anyways, GOODNESS, CELESTE, THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZINGLY BRILLIANTLY STUNNING. Admittedly, I was uncertain at first on how you'd pull off Victoire shipping herself. Actually, I thought that the other Victoire was a ghost of some kind at first or something, haha! I just spent the last 10 minutes scrolling up and down the page, trying to go in order of the numbers after reading it in the order you formatted it first. THAT'S SO COOL HOW IT ALL LINKS TOGETHER LIKE THAT! Agh, you're so SMART. I envy people who can wrap their minds around this kind of stuff...you with this, and I remember Miranda (FannyPrice) wrote a backwards-forwards story once, too, something equally mindboggling, I guess. :P And the organization irritating? NOT A CHANCE. It was so interesting to unravel the story bit by bit!
And your writing is MUCH TOO BEAUTIUFL! I WAS FLOATING ON CLOUDS AGAIN, I SWEAR. You put everything so eloquently and everything is so lovely and just, just.there are almost no words for how much I love your style! *flails madly* DON'T EVER THINK YOU'RE WRITING PURPLE PROSE BECAUSE YOU REALLY AREN'T. It's like that perfect balance that's nearly unattainable, but you've managed to get it right on target. ♥
You ask about which Victoire I thought it was in your A/N...to be honest, I thought the first girl mentioned was Victoire Weasley in the beginning because of the cbox talk. I fluctuated for a bit at the end and spent some time thinking about it, but I think the first girl is Victoire because of the "always comparing us" lines. Victoire's probably somewhat famous because she's a Weasley and her family is chock full of famous war heroes. Plus, Bertrand sounds like those fancy rich names ^_^ Even though I am probably far off, that's my current logic lol.
OH, I'VE GOT ANOTHER ADJECTIVE FOR YOUR WRITING. Really, really just magical. Poof! A one-shot of epic proportions comes out from your fingertips. And dear God, why aren't you out there getting books published already?! *coughcough*you'rewaybetterthanstepheniemeyer,okay?*coughcough*
you're turning into one of my all time favorite hpff authors ever ♥ and btw, i dunno if you saw but i added you as a favorite author after reading TSOS secretly. 8D and i'm adding this to my favorites too. i think i'm going to have to power through your entire author's page soon. *grabby hands* xD
so if you couldn't tell, i loved this. and notice how my grammar worsened as the review went on... *whistles innocently...or at least pretends to because i can't whistle :P * stop with the modesty overkill, celeste! hahaha XD
--jordan ♥ Report Review
How am I supposed to leave a coherent review after this? How am I supposed to write something worth reading once you've played with my emotions and understanding and left me in some kind of poetic, chaotic haze. I don't have the words so I'm blaming you instead, for taking the words. But you do wonderful things like this with words. God, I'm tired and now I've read this and I'd like to leave you a real review and I've ended up making you into a word-thief.
This really is taking it to a new level. I love the way you use second person. It's a tense I'd forgotten about in a way, and now you've rekindled the love. The connecting words, the unchronological parts. It's like a maze and I love how it all seems strung together in parts like that, it makes it have this delicate feel. Speaking of together, 'to get her'. Wow.
I love how exploritive you were with this piece. How you messed with the reader's mind. I first thought this was some kind of ship between Victoire and herself. Especially when she said 'For me?'. But I like that even if it wasn't Victoire with herself, the suggestion was still there and so it was there in a way. It was such a lovely twist. Victory, Victory. The mirror imagery at the end as they reach for the papers too... they are a reflection of each other, but very different too... it's perfection.
I suppose as we are only introduced to Victoire B at the end I always presumed it was Victoire Weasley, so I read it as her. But also the characters just seem to fit that way. The thoughts and feelings seem to belong To Victoire Weasley.
I loved so much of this. 'The Peals of the past never truly leave us.' One of the most inspired and delicate things I have read in a while. The word that strikes me is 'composed'. You have composed these words and the result is beautiful. You are so extroadinarily talented, I think I might give up except you are somehow extremely inspiring too. Report Review
Let me start with some things I want to say very specifically to you, without even taking into consideration the strengths of this piece:
1. I hate you. I absolutely hate you.
2. Before someone deletes this review for abuse, I love you too.
3. You better cower the next time I come across you moaning about your writing, criticising your style and all that because I am going to rage beyond your wildest belief.
4. I still love you.
Now, I'm actually going to leave something somewhat resembling a real review. Or, rather, I'm going to try because this knocked me for six. I even turned off my music and made Marina sssh and flapped my hands at my mother to get her to shut up because as soon as I started reading, I was 1000% sure there was something special here.
And that is the understatement of my year thus far.
The only person I think even mildly capable of finding the right choice of words to describe this would be you. Ridiculous, that's a good one, actually, but in the best possible ever. Like a Gubby ridiculous. And now you'll tell me I'm being ridiculous but I can wholeheartedly promise you that I'm not being over the top or overly nice. I hate writing too much at this moment in time to lie to other people about their writing; I genuinely think this is stunning.
Everything from the very idea - trying to make it look like you're shipping someone with themselves - to the way you've written it is the genius of a writer destined for a professional future in this domain.
Most of it stuck out to me but I have to point out my favourite section:
Him, you. Together.
To get her.
asdfghasdfghjkl - that just about sums up the noise I made when I saw that bit. You just twist and play with and mess up words into something infinitely more beautiful than most of us could even imagine to be possible. There was something haunting about the repetition throughout; it kind of got beneath my skin, made me shiver a little. It was breathtaking.
In terms of which Victoire, I read it believing it to be Weasley and I'm still fairly convinced that was the case by the end. I don't have much reason for believing that, just do! The organisation and ending weren't irritating in the slightest, either. They were clever and stunning and I think this is your best ever. Genuinely.
I'm stopping now because I'm getting angry at you for ever considering deleting things in the past or from saying those things about your writing the other day. You have absolutely astonished me with this. Brilliant doesn't cover it.
xx Report Review
Celeste, this was stunning. Truly, truly stunning. I really have nothing else to say but well done on an utterly fantastic story.Author's Response: Georgia! Thank you so much! I really don't know how to respond to this, so thank you, thank you! ♥ Report Review
This is... insane. Really. The whole concept is crazy but brilliant. And you pulled it off so wonderfully. I had to read it about a million times to understand it, and I'm still not sure that I get all of it (but that's probably the point).
Really, I don't know all what to say to you. I am speechless in shock. Your language here is superb. This is almost like a very lyrical sort of poem. " She is an ode to lesser gods. You are the lyrics sung by battered angels. " This line is so beautiful, probably one of my favorites. I also love the " Victory, Victory " part- so fitting!
Strangely, this story reminds me a bit of the Great Gatsby - with one Victoire as Daisy, the other as Gatsby and the husband as Tom. I have no idea if you'e read it or not, so I won't say anything that might spoil the book, but the part about having " eyes like money " reminds me a lot of the Great Gatsby, where Daisy has a " voice like money. " Also, the part where one is trying to get the other to leave her husband seemed familiar. I'm by NO means saying you plagiarized this. I just happened to have finished the book and saw a couple of similarities.
As for which Victoire...I'm not quite sure...I guess I'm leaning towards Victoire Bertram for one reason. In the end, the papers are for "Victoire Weasley" and I'm assuming that if she was/had been married, her last name would have changed (to Lupin or whatever). So because of that I say it's Victoire B. However, I only that that bit through after reading it several times. The first time I sort of assumed it was Victoire W and Teddy.
Seriously, I am in awe of your writing skills. I have no more words to describe how wonderful this work of art is.Author's Response: Ah, insane is a good word for it in hindsight. It's a very small and very big one-shot at the same time; it's obscure, chaotic and abrupt, but I honestly hoped it would be like that. I wanted something that couldn't be read or understood in one read.
I actually have read "The Great Gatsby" and didn't write this story with any kind of intentional parallels to it. But I do adore Gatsby, Daisy (not so much Tom, haha) and F. Scott Fitzgerald. The leaving your spouse theme is quite familiar in writing, especially if one person is having an extramarital affair. But I am very flattered by the comparison! :)
Well, that is a good point, but if the second person narrator had been Victoire Weasley, after Teddy's death, she may have chosen to return to the last name of Weasley. Either way, if the second person narrator was Victoire Weasley, putting Lupin as her last name would have been as good as identifying her! For all we know, she may have married another man and Teddy could've been Victoire Bertrand's husband! I was trying to go for the obscurity again. :P
Thank you so much, Aderyn! For the review and also for the constant support! :)
You make me want to die.
I should leave this at that, because I really have nothing else coherent or 12+ to say at this point, but I've never left you a legit review and that makes me sad, because Merlin knows you deserve it (Merlin also knows I'm an idiot for never having done it before). So.
Can I just say, I never believed the Victoire/Victoire-ness. I imagined in a Narcissus type of way and you just gave it a crazy name to attract attention. So this twist -- hsgzk.dj. Why didn't I think of this. What is wrong with me. I don't understand. GAH. So simple, so creative, so WTFJUSTHAPPENED. And yet it makes so much sense. It's so obvious that I just -- I can't even.
Since I assumed the "you" was Victoire Weasley (it's been so long since I read second person and you've rekindled my love of it with such effective use of it), I can't really imagine it being the other Victoire. The line about "I'm always compared to you" just seemed to point to that conclusion. But I appreciate the ambiguity because it didn't hit me until your a/n that you never actually said which Victoire is which. Subtlety is your middle name, isn't it? I thought so. Celeste Subtlety. It flows nicely.
And holy crap, the technicality behind this story drives me insane. I don't know how you did it, and I get now why it took so long to get right and gosh, it's so impeccable and clean and eek how did you do this. I can't even. Seriously. Out of order fics drive me crazy because at some point it doesn't matter that they are out of order; they're ostensibly constructed that way so that it doesn't strictly matter, and I think you did that brilliantly. I had to read it over again just to process it.
The first read, of course, was just to luxuriate in the language. Like, holy orguhxd, really, Celeste? Are you trying to make us all crawl back into our holes to dominate the archives with your freaking amazing diction? So much evil jealousy, I don't even know how to explain it to you. I would go back and comb through lines to show you how jealous I am and how much I hate you right now, but even now there are just concepts and expletives roaming through my mind and I can't pin anything down. There are a few I vaguely remember, specifically the dreams and steel lines and then the one "Her eyes were like money." The second one stuck out because money is such a mundane word, you know, and I thought it just brought the whole thing down (in a totally good way!) from the sort of abstract, existential fog of beauty and melancholy that you seem to perpetually live in.
And I obviously think in weird ways, so let's ignore that and sum up: I hate you. So much.
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dklfjghfdkghjdkljhlfkj FLAIL! GAAAH this is awesome! :D
You have a wonderful, wonderful way with words. You word wizard. This was beautiful. So at first I thought that Victoire was having a little bit of a mental breakdown (after killing Teddy? Or Teddy dying? Right?) and the 'other' Victoire was simply an inside voice. But no! The ending was a twist that wasn't expected, that she was having a relationship with another Victoire. Victory, victory. Awesome. Plus the repetition of Victoire, Victoire made it sound like the dying words of Teddy and was particularly effective.
So here's some quotes that were particularly fantastic, especially the way you repeated them, like a mantra:
- 'He wore sunglasses, you ran to the ocean, the sand arced the air, soaking the oxygen of daydreams and once, it was so easy to fall in love.'
- 'This is the rhythm of your life in patterned breaths.'
- 'The delicate constitution of words mangle in the chaos of kisses, the description of the abyss of desire fades and you hear the never ending sonata of his voice.'
- 'It is a night screaming stars.'
It could be on Victoire Weasley, but I think it might be on Victoire Bertrand. She was jealous of Victoire W's relationship with Teddy, and because Victoire W's some sort of Veela beauty, she had entrapped her and driven her to kill/hurt Teddy or something. I'm probably completely wrong.
Awesome one-shot. :) Report Review
Oh my god.
OH. MY. GOD.
-mind is officially blown-
In 21 parts! Out of order! And with the first line of each section matching the last line of the preceding one! How do you do it? It must have taken you forever!
The repetition of various lines throughout, all mixed around in different arrangements with other repeated lines, is positively gorgeous.
I was extremely tempted to go and read this in chronological order, and then I heard you chastising Gina and throwing soft objects at her for doing so, so I won't read it chronologically...for now. XD When I do, I won't tell you. But it flows so wonderfully the way you have it written, and even though a couple of times I was like, "Wait...what part is this? What's happening?" that's obviously a part of the reading experience, figuring out what's going on.
As to which Victoire this is about, I really have no idea. The fact that the third person Victoire says, "I'm always compared to you," sort of makes me think the second person Victoire is Weasley, because it seems like, with her family and all, she'd be the "primary" Victoire everyone knows, and any other Victoire would have to endure the, "Oh, you're Victoire? Just like Victoire Weasley!" But on the other hand, the pouty bit made me think maybe the third person Victoire is Victoire Weasley (not that I'm one to typecast her or anything). :-P
But aside from that, I have to say this: I know you had some fun making it sound like Victoire/Victoire meant some kind of weird psychological self-shipping, when in fact it turned out to be Victoire shipped with another Victoire. But a part of me is always going to read this as Victoire loving herself. I think it's a brilliant double meaning. I think YOU are brilliant.
And now for some favorite quotes!
This is the rhythm of your life in patterned breaths.
She is an ode to lesser gods. You are the lyrics sung by battered angels.
Before you meet, you are lost in the idleness of a world spinning in an axis of already justified means, constructed of imaginary axioms. You let the pandering crescendos of thoughts unwritten wander the cracked landscape of your adolescence and blew life into decayed dreams. This world is set in its rules, bent to the expectations of the men and women of a time before it. They offer your ears the flayed skins of bicentennial wishes and you listen, but when you meet him, he makes their law the liquid of poetry.
However, I think my favorite thing to read, and the part that really blew my mind for the first time in this fic, was: "You wonder how to describe it - and then it hits you - it sounds like a book opening" - and then backwards!!! Oh my lord, it was lovely and chilling.
Seriously, dude. You are inhuman. Stop making us all look bad, won't you?
MelanieAuthor's Response: Oh my god. I put this review off forever because I have completely given up responding to something this big and beautiful and entirely undeserved.
Just know that this review kind of put me on a writing high and literally changed some things about the way I write. I'm lame enough to say that if I had a fanfic dream, this review is as close as I'll ever be to accomplishing it.
Really, Melanie, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you, thank you. Report Review
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