Reading Reviews for Crow
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pretense Of Perfection Corvus

8th July 2014:
Hi there!!!

I'm not going to lie, I was super confused by this at first. I think maybe that was your intention in the beginning, but as the story went on the circumstances and situation did indeed, become much clearer.

I'd honestly never really given much thought to the earlier death eaters, the ones that were around when Tom first started gaining power. I guess it makes sense that he would try and choose followers like Corvus, who were too bruised, broken, and used to being manipulated to know any better. In the beginning, at least, he needed to have some mindless followers that would be loyal to him so that he could gain popularity, if that makes any sense.

You definietly got your point of sympathy for the devil across here, and quite well I might add. In the beginning I was sort of repulsed the Corvus, but after finishing the story I can see how broken and beaten down he truly was. The physical and mental abuse he must've been subjected to over the years are simply heartbreaking, and while they don't justify all of this actions, they do certainly explain how and why he became a death-eater.

I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, and the plot moved along quite nicely. Excellent job.

---House Cup 2014 Review---
Pretense of Perfection, Gryffindor

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Review #2, by MajiKat Corvus

14th May 2011:
my love, i am so so sorry that it has taken me forever to get here!! forgive me? (i offer chapter 16 of morocco in penance, which will be up very soon...)

anyways, darling, i really loved this. what a tragic character and what a story you created for someone we know nothing about!! it was brilliantly crafted - gosh this challenge was hard to judge!!

the crows...so very well used throughout the whole piece. corvus being the crow constellation and the scientific genus, and the crows in the garden, the birds of death, harry the crow man (the master of death)...beautiful. all of it created this strange swirling image in my head of feathers and wings and black and i really loved that!!

your characterisation was simply wonderful. corvus was very real and through your skill as an author i could believe he existed, that he had life and history and pain and that he now is where we find him. it is all believable - you have great authority over him and you weave in and out of his memories flawlessly. i was never confused or lost at all.

harry and ron were wonderful. totally in character!! ron shouting for the nurse made me smile and shake my head at him!

i don't know what else to say. the imagery was stunning, the symbolism even more so and you made me believe it.

LOVE YOU!!
Kate xx

Author's Response: Kate!!! Well thank you for reviewing. It's no matter to me when you get over and make time to review. I'm just glad you got over here to read AND enjoyed it ^_^

I'm so glad you enjoyed this. It was one of those stories that the story just came together on its own; I wish I could take credit for it but I feel like I just penned it. It took a life of its own with everything from the crows symbolism to Harry and Ron to the ending. I didn't struggle with it.

The crow has always been a symbol I wanted to play with. In more ways than just the idea of them being symbolic of death et etc.

Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like Corvus. Sadly, his weaving through reality and the past is taken from an example in my own life. It's sad when people get like that regardless of what their life was like. That was how I found sympathy for this particular guy. And Ron and Harry just wrote themselves. Thank you so much, Kate.

And I loved the end of Morocco--though I'm so sad to see it end!!

xx Linds


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Review #3, by blueirony Corvus

24th March 2011:
Hey, blueirony here from the forums with your review.

Firstly? Wow.

Secondly? Double wow.

I've never read anything like this in HPFF. So, already that is a huge plus point for me. I absolutely adore things that are original and unique and this was such a strange but brilliant idea. I adored it.

So your areas of concern were: believability, likeability, grammar, characters and anything else. I'll address each on in turn.

Believability. You know what? This is believable. It made sense while I was reading it. I can trust you, the author, when you tell me that Corvus Avery was mentally unstable and had been institutionalised. I don't need to know the why, the how or the when. But I understand it. And I believe it.

Likeability. Well if my word is anything to go by, I loved this. Yes, it may not be as popular in HPFF as, say, a new James II/OC novel, for example. But that doesn't make this any less likeable. You write well and I found myself very intrigued while reading this.

Grammar. Your grammar is fine, however I would caution you about one thing: always make sure that a reader will know who is talking. And when you say "he", make sure the reader knows who you are referring to. The only flaw in this is that I often found myself a little bit confused as to who was speaking, to whom they were speaking to and who you were referring to when you said "he", particularly at the start. I think you just need to add in a few more sign posts like "said Harry", for example. It won't diminish the mood or feel of this story, I just think that you to guide the reader a little bit more.

Characters. Well I certainly loved Corvus. The way you described him was perfect, exactly as I would imagine someone in his situation to be. I could feel, as I was reading it, that he was going to burst soon and that is something really hard to pull off! You built up the tension well and it was weird because he was so unresponsive and then he just... explodes. But it made sense and was very believable. Wow. I don't know if you know anyone in a similar situation to him but I sort of do and you did so well, it would be hard for me to believe that you don't know anyone!

I also loved the crows. I almost feel as though I want to start analysing their siginificance as if I am back in an English class or something! And that is kudos to you for writing so well. I love how you took the crow and made it like a theme of the story and you did it so well.

Overall, this is an absolutely fabulous one-shot and one you should be very proud of.

Joop (blueirony).

Author's Response: Joop! Oh my goodness, you flatter me so. -Blushes-

I'm so glad to hear its original; it was an idea that was playing around my head and had been for a while now. I think that it just came out well; clearly Corvus wrote himself, I feel like I can't take much credit for him.

Okay, I'm so glad its believable. There is a bunch of background to it and I think that if I had included it, it would have taken away from the believability because ambiguity was a bit of the main part of this story.

Wow, thanks for that compliment Joop. I understand that these sort of things aren't typically popular amongst HPFF-ers but this is the kind of writing I like to do. It's fun for me.

I see what you mean by the grammar, I may go back and re-evaulate but ambiguity was a big part here and I didn't want to make is super easy for the reader. I wanted to have them paying attention to see if they could catch bits of foreshadowing that may have popped up.

I'm really glad you like Corvus because he was this very real character in my mind, and I'm glad he translates well. My job in the challenge is to make a Death Eater sympathetic. He is modeled after characters from movies I've seen as well as my own grandmother. My grandmother doesn't have the strength for the violence or the rage, but where she stays, I've seen people with such attributes before. So I do know someone.

The crows were the driving point; I'm big on allegories so this one was weaven throughout the story.

Thanks so much Joop! I always appericiate your reviews.

Lindsey


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Review #4, by adluvshp Corvus

24th March 2011:
Hey there!

This is AditiDraco95 from the Forums with the review you requested.

I am sorry for the verryyy late response to your request, really, but i was just veryyy busy!! sorry!

Anyway, getting on to the review,

your story was pretty good. I liked it. The emotions and the "craziness" is depicted quite well and its very realistic too. It was a good piece of work all in all and I don't see the need for any changes =)

The story was of good insight, and you have really brought out the character, which was definitely needed here. The story flow, grammar and writing style was also quite good.

All in all, good job!

9/10

Cheers!
AD

Operation: Green with Envy

Author's Response: Thank you so much for you review; its okay. I understand how RL can get because it is quite demanding.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and it was fun to write.

LMW


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Review #5, by TenthWeasley Corvus

22nd March 2011:
Hello! It's TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, finally stopping off with the review you requested from me a while back. I'm so sorry for making you wait this long, and I have no excuses, which just makes it even worse. Nevertheless, I am here now, and hope that this review finds you well. But enough idle chit-chat!

Well, you're certainly going to be tough competition to beat in this challenge, because this story was ABSOLUTELY stunning. I admired you even from the beginning for having the guts to tackle such a character - it takes some serious talent to do that, but what's more, to do it as well as you have. ^^

I'm going to commend you majorly on your imagery, though, because that was honestly the bit that blew me away the most of this entire story. And the way you used the crow as a symbol - that's something that just flat-out impressed me, because it takes a real talent to be able to work something like that into a Harry Potter fan fiction, of all things!

Sorry for the rambling mush - I do hope it even makes some semblance of sense. ^^ I really, really enjoyed this story, and I hope you do very well in the challenge, because you definitely deserve it! Thanks for popping by and making a request - and again, I'm sorry the review was so long in coming.

Author's Response: Hi there lovey,

Thanks so much for your lovely review. And its okay; I'm just glad you got around to reviewing it :D

Awww wow *blushes*. Thanks for the absolutely lovely compliments. When I get into a challenge, I rarely like to change simply because its a challenge. Inspiration eventually hits so...and Avery Snr was too tempting not to write about.

Symbols are kind of my big thing; in my English classes, I'm the girl notorious for making a symbol out of too many thanks. Thanks so much for the review again.

~Lindsey


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Review #6, by ravenclaw_princess Corvus

20th March 2011:
Hi, ravenclaw_princess from the forums

First of all, wow. This is a stunning piece of writing. It is so full of imagery and symbolism that is is just lovely to read.

I love how you used Crow's through out and even referred to Harry as the 'crow-man'. It was interesting for Harry's hair to be his defining characteristic. I have read up and understand the symbolism of the crow and you have used it very well throughout the story.

Avery is nicely characterised in his institutionalised state. You weaved in and out random thoughts and actions really well so that they seemed so believable. Sometimes he was away with the 'crows', other times he was a little more in the present, especially when he grabbed Harry as he was about to leave. I really liked that part about telling 'death' it wasn't his fault. Another good use of the crow and it's symbolism.

The part about the red hair and his memory was nice. I like how it was just a fragment of a memory that he had, a small link to his old life which he now can't quite touch. I also liked how you don't know who it is who he remembers, it just remains a mystery which suits his current frame of mind.

Harry and Ron were also well done and in canon with Harry being understand and patient and Ron just wanting to give it up as a lost cause. Their dialogue was also spot on.

Grammatically, I didn't really notice anything, except in the last sentence. I believe Voldemort's should read Voldemort.

If I was to offer any advise, it would be to make the ending slightly stronger. I felt like after the scene with Avery, the ending felt a little flat (esp when combined with your authors note about going for the absence of a role model. It was like you were apologising or something). After being slightly annoyed at Ron for his impatience, the final report seemed a little lacking in detail. I kind of feel like it needs something else going back to Avery's current state of mind and something about death once more.

In saying that though, your story is really well written and the use of symbolism is amazing. I felt sympathy for Avery too so from my perspective, you have achieved the aim of the challenge. Awesome job and all the best.

Author's Response: Hi, there, thanks for the LOVELY and LONG review as well as the compliments.

The crow was very key to this story; Harry's hair being like a crow has actually been a reference point I've wanted to use in writing for a long time.

Avery is inspired by some real people in my own life; it wasn't hard to weave. I'm just so glad it came across so clearly. And the long term memory can be far better than the short term almost all of the time.

Harry and Ron are some of my favorite to write about; I'm also grateful for the grammar point. And I'll take the advice to heart; I'm rather partial to how it is now but I can definitely see where you are coming from.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm glad to hear it achieved its goal for sympathy. :)

LMW


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Review #7, by Misty_Rey Corvus

17th February 2011:
You're right, it does go deeper than that.

.

Sorry, how rude of me to not greet you first. I was just so into the story. Anyway, hello hello Lindsey love! I think this may be the first time I'm the first reviewer of one of your stories, correct me if I'm wrong (go me and bad me for not doing it sooner). But oh, what a story it was.

I wasn't sure what to expect. I saw the title, summary and your penname and that was enough for me. I dove in headfirst and very much like Corvus, I was submerged in this magnificent story of yours.

It was an interesting and bold choice to explore the character of one of Voldemort's earliest followers, whom we know nothing about except his last name. From there, you gave him such incredible depth and made him so real, I'd have no trouble believing he was a solid character from the HP series, personally written by JKR herself. But at the same time, I particularly liked that you didn't put him entirely in the clear. Yes, he did have clear, concise reasons for doing what he did but they were reasons that, I think, most of the Death Eaters followed Voldemort. A hunger for power, dominance and control, things he didn't get within his own family. He wasn't crazy or evil (that honour belongs to Bellatrix and maybe even the Carrow siblings), which would have been an easier but far less satisfying excuse. It was also great touch having him be the one to provide funds to the cause, there's something very unique about it that I think most would not have thought of. That's another reason I loved this: the amount of detail and care you put into this was astounding, that's where the depth comes from. There's one thing though that confuses me. Why has he only been institutionalized for five years? What was he doing before that? Oh, and another thing. The red-haired woman. I'm trying to figure out who that is but drew a blank. Enlighten me please, Linds? I know they're both rather minor points but I'd love to hear your explanation.

Harry and Ron were very much in-character as well. Harry the eternally patient and empathic leader while Ron's tactless and impatient. At the beginning, when he said "Oi" to the nurse, I thought it was Harry for a moment and thought 'wait, Harry would never say that'. Then it was revealed Ron's there as well and then it all clicked. You defined both their characters really well, I had no trouble distinguishing which line of dialogue belonged to which of them. Also, very interesting that Corvus distinguished Harry by his crow-feathered hair rather than his emerald eyes. I can't recall anyone else ever having used that type of description for Harry before so yay for being ahead of the curve!

I can't leave without mentioning the crow. Fantastic use of symbolism there, Linds. Symbolism is one of my favourite plot devices so I'm happy it featured so prominently here. At the first mention of the crows, I was thinking of a murder of crows and thought that was meant as a nod to the Death Eaters. But as I read further, especially at the end, I thought that there had to be more to it than that. So, like the nerd that I am, I googled crow symbolism and found what it meant, which took this story to a whole new level. It fitted in perfectly with everything that happened here, especially in Corvus refering to Harry as the crow. Very apt, since Harry is the 'Master of Death' after all ;).

Stunning, stunning story, Lindsey. My favourite by you yet. An easy 10/10.

*Bone-crushing hug*
~Misty

Author's Response: BAH!!! Misty, I am pretty sure I could heat the sun right now because my. Face. Is. SO. RED.!

And its so fine of you to just be so into the story that you don't greet me. Phew, please, I love it that you were so into the story!!

Well this was actually a challenge entry and I got Avery Snr in the "Sympathy for the Devil" challenge prompted by MajiKat (the every lovely Kate). And truthfully, I was really nervous about getting a character with so little history.

But since he was a character with so little history other then the fact he was one of the earliest followers of Voldemort, I had some major decisions to make. I envision that the first followers would either had been a) stupid admirers b) power hungry c) curious or d) picked by Tom himself. The first and third wouldn't work for me; a curious man would not have survived and stayed so long. And an admirer would have most likely been killed off. So I took a combo of the last two. I decided that Riddle was not known for his fortune and money would be a necessary ally. So, the Averys, would be a family of fortune akin much to Malfoys in this scearnio in my mind. But he would also be lustful for so sort of power because in the Pureblood world, they are cornered into what the families expect.

All that being said, I'll answer your minor questions. The red hair woman is actually supposed to be a hint toward the Weasleys. Its supposed to signify that he knew the Weasley at another time, maybe when they were still prominent in the Pureblood society. And he knew the familiar redhair of Ron and a redhair woman (aka a previous Weasley wife). Its a stretch to make; it could also be a nurse on the hall where he worked. He, at one point, was in hiding from the Ministry and stuff after the round-up of the Death Eaters. At this point, Harry and Ron are mid-twenties so its been a while since the Battle. Corvus was found, crazy and losing his mind. So instead of putting him in Azakaban, he was sentenced to a facility to handle crazy wizards. Its an institution started by the Ministry post-war because Azakaban would be cruel for someone so mentally unstable. At least that's how it goes in my mind ^_^

Yes, yes, well I thought I could get the dialogue to speak for Ron and Harry. They are very disctinct especially in Auror styles (in my mind) so their parts were not hard to write. JKR does pretty straightforward outlining for these characters.

The crow hair. -shakes head- I've been trying to use this description for years now. I just didn't have a story to put it in, and I finally found one. And the symbol of the crow really helped ^^

Yes, the Master of Death; he is also a symbol of freedom, of flight in Corvus' mind. Some part of Corvus recongizes who Harry is and what he did. So the crow was a major part; Corvus is also the name of the crow constellation. That's actually how this whole thing started--me trying to pick a first name for Avery. And it developed from there.

These are some MAJOR compliments coming from you, Mist. I much appericiate all the feedback. This story holds an unusually warm and close place in my heart because I think this is my true calling of prose and such. Dark but not totally dark and heck, there was even room for Harry-Ron exchange near the end.

Your hugs rival Molly Weasley's hugs!!
~Linds


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