Reading Reviews for An Incomplete Collection
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Arithmancy_Wiz Completing the Collection

9th August 2011:
What a wonderful one-shot, this story is almost too cute for words!

Truly though, this is very well written. Timothy is a wonderful character, so like Neville yet distinct in his own right. The opening was actually rather heartbreaking. I think anyone who has ever gone to school either has been in that situation or knows their own Timothy. I found the kids teasing him about his collection worse than the boy who crushed his card. It's one thing to get picked on by a bully, but to be laughed at for something he has a passion for by the school at large was so hurtful. Overall, a great opening to the chapter and a wonderful way to make the reader feel connected to Timothy. The only thing to rival it was the very touching ending with the card.

There were some really great standout phrases. I loved the comment he had about the Longbottoms' house being like stepping into his grandparents' home. The alphabet soup brain comparison was also very clever. I also liked that part of the fountain was in the shape mandrake. It was a simple detail but it seemed very Hogwarts-y. Very clever.

I can hardly think of much to offer critique on, but I always try and give something, as I know I really like to receive it. To that end, I'm being really picky since this is so solidly written. First, there was one minor typo I spotted: "Age had graced his round face with wrinkles and given gray hair, and a slight arch in his back." You seem to be missing a word between gray and hair. Also, I thought the letter Timothy wrote sounded a little formal for an awkward, shy boy. I know he isn't a small child in this, but it sounded a little too adult like. Lastly, I think Binns probably have told them how long the essay had to be in his instructions (ie, three roles, or two feet, ect). See, told you I was nitpicking.

Overall, great job. Glad I stopped by to share some Ravenclaw Review Fest Love.

A_wiz (RC)

Author's Response: I'm sorry its taken so long to get back to this lovely, kind, and thoughtful review...and an honor to be coming from ya as well!

I'm actually not a huge fan of OC's, but when I saw the challenge.I kind of got this plot bunny and ran with it, despite my inner voice that usually avoids this situation. The result was this, and reviews like this make me wonder why I don't challenge myself more. So thanks for that!!

I appreciate the critique very much and it is so important, without a doubt. I will take these points into mind...especially the Binns comment. Very good point!!

Again, thank you so much for taking the time!
Best,
Schoenemaedchen


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Review #2, by Flower n Prongs Completing the Collection

6th August 2011:
Wow. This was absolutely amazing. I wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but this was very heartwarming and touching.

I loved the parallels you drew between Timothy and Neville. It took me a moment to realize it, but once it hit me I was amazed at how you pulled it off without seeming forced. I can see why Neville would be so drawn to Timothy at first, once he realized that this poor boy was being picked on for not being the "coolest" kid around. I love how by the end it had come full circle and Timothy was trying to help Neville.

The start of the story made me sad, with poor Timothy being bullied because of his hobby. By the end I was smiling, knowing that Neville finally got the respect he deserves from a young teenager and knowing that Timothy had made a friend, although it was an unconventional one.

Great job. You're a great writer, I loved this as well as The Emerald Brooch.

Flower n Prongs (LilyFlower, Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thanks for reviewing! Yes, the parallels between Timothy and Neville were entirely on purpose :)

I think this story just goes to show how even the "unconventionals" make great contributions to the wizarding world, just as the popular ones have.

Really, thanks for the lovely review and taking the time to read it ;)


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Review #3, by forsakenphoenix Completing the Collection

6th August 2011:
Oh, this was so precious and sweet. I love Timothy so much. I just want to hug him and yell at all those students who bullied him. The sad part is he's so oblivious sometimes and he doesn't even realize they're making fun of him. :(

I am so happy he got to meet Neville and to hear about his similar experiences, how Neville went from bullied to hero. Oh and my heart just about burst out of my chest when I got to see that Neville had a chocolate frog card made about him. He deserved the recognition even if he didn't seem to mind that no one knew who he was. He played such an important role in the war that I'm glad students will know of him. Timothy is just a sweet, polite boy and that last line was perfect. Eugh, I just want to squish him! This was just such a lovely, lovely story. :)

As an aside, I noticed a couple of grammatical/mechanical errors, but nothing super obvious so I wouldn't worry about it. Other than that, grammar and spelling were quite good and it flowed very nicely.

forsakephoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: I think what makes Timothy so strong, sometimes, is that he is able to be oblivious--and not be so bothered. I think it goes to show that he's confident in who he is, even if others give him a bit of a hard time.

And seriously...its about time Neville gets some recognition. Watching the 7th movie again made me realize just how AWESOME Neville is--he deserves every bit of recognition.

I'm sure there are a few small things wrong with this piece, I'll try to get it beta'd soon :)

Thanks for the review!
-Katie


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Review #4, by AC_rules Completing the Collection

22nd June 2011:
Oh wow! This was beyond touching. I think you have a knack with cuteness. I love the time frame - with Neville being an old man - and I love Timothy's ability to ignore the obvious (that everyone hates chocolate frog cards) and to remain blissfully ignorant. Really lovely and touching :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!

Just as it was lovely and touching to read (like your review :) ) it was really lovely to write. I had a lot of fun with it and am glad that I've been able to share it with others.



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Review #5, by Snapdragons Completing the Collection

22nd June 2011:
This was positively wonderful! It brightened up a soggy Wednesday afternoon. :) It was very sweet and heartwarming.

Neville's one of my favorite characters, so I'm glad that we get to see him! I also find it sort of sad that he was forgotten. D: I'd have hoped that he might have been remembered after all his work, so I'm pleased that he was in the end!

Timothy and Neville did seem very similar in a good way. I could see traces of young Neville in Timothy, and I hope that Timothy will get to grow up and have more confidence in himself, which I think we see starting to happen here!

The idea of the Chocolate Frog cards being used to connect the two characters was lovely and original and I enjoyed it greatly!

A very, very sweet one shot that made me feel happy at the end and was uplifting. Loved your characters, loved the plot. A great job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! All the reasons you listed really were exactly all the things that made this story so great to write. It was one of those rare plot bunnies that comes along that you just can't ignore.

Appreciate the review and the lovely compliments!


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Review #6, by theelderwand Completing the Collection

21st February 2011:
Wow!

What a wonderfully inspirational tale. Absolutely loved the ending. Brilliant.

Your OC, Timothy, is superb and to have him make the connection with Neville was excellent. Nice touch that the Chocolate Frog cards are out of vogue and, maybe a bit out of step, just like Timothy and Neville. It was a magical (pun intended) flourish to join Timothy and Neville over a span of 60 years.

Great work,

Eldy

Author's Response: Hello there!! Wow!!

I'm honored to have you leave a review here. I've loved the work you've put in with Farmgirl on Healing...Huge fan...

Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review. Its the first time I've written either Neville OR an OC (and I usually am a bit weird about OC's) so I'm happy that it came across so well!

It was really a joy to write Neville, though, and give him some of the credit he deserves.

Again, thanks so much for your feedback and kind words. I appreciate it.
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #7, by HarrietHopkirk Completing the Collection

21st February 2011:
Haha! Bronze hits back.

You have such a perfect vision of Neville's characterisation! There are so little Neville fics out there, and you have him spot on. Well done! It was a very endearing story to read, I love it! I love the idea of the chocolate frog! You have a good grasp on grammar and spelling and your writing style is really good!

Neville is an utter-babe! He is SUCH a legend! ♥

Overall, a real treat. Uplifting, heart-warming, sweet, Neville-y. Well done on writing a really, really good Legends story! :D

Author's Response: Yay :) I can see you Bronzes ready to pounce :) It's cool.

I'm having fun, it's made the reviewing very, very active this evening!! ;)

So I'm still so shocked at all the extremely positive feedback I am getting. It was one of those stories I was writing where I'm going "I don't know..." the whole time, but THANK YOU for the lovely compliments. You've given me a bit more confidence in this story.

Now I must go grovel for a banner to top it all off :) Thanks for taking the time to review ;)


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Review #8, by TallestTower Completing the Collection

20th February 2011:
Hello!
I don't know if you know this but Neville is one of my all time favourite characters. This story was so touching. It was creative and unique and the idea was wonderful.
The beginning was so emotive. Neville's characterization was perfect, and Timothy was very endearing. This was so heart-warming to read, I absolutely loved it. Brilliant work!

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm so happy you reviewed this. I love your reviews anyways because they're so incredibly insightful and helpful and friendly...but I had no idea you loved Neville.

I have never written anything like this, I had no idea if I was approaching this from the right direction. I'm happy to hear your comments though, you've put me at ease. Thanks so much...such a lovely thing to hear.

I appreciate the review and the time it took, as always.
-Katie


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Review #9, by ciararose Completing the Collection

20th February 2011:
Your story is wonderful! I really enjoyed it. It was an original idea, and so uplifting and sweet in the end. I loved the connection between the bullied main character and Neville. Actually, your main character reminded me of my little brother, a little. I mean that as a compliment, he was very realistic and natural. And the bullying was just so sad.

The idea for the Chocolate Frog in the end was my favorite part, it was so original, and so very fitting for Neville. He never expects to be great, and then in the end he is a real hero, who should be acknowledged for his acts.

It was all very well written, with excellent spelling, grammar, and general writing technique to match the great idea for the story. This story really made me happy, it has that same uplifting quality as the actual books do. Wonderful work!

Author's Response: What a review to make me grin from ear to ear!! Thanks so much for taking the time to write.

It was one of those rare days where I read the challenge information and a bunny came rushing in through the front door, just begging to be written. I have a soft spot in my heart for Neville, and especially for those kids that were always teased because they didn't fit in with the rest.

I'm glad you enjoyed the writing. I wasn't sure of a lot of things when writing this story and I was a bit skeptical about how it would come across. So I'm happy to hear you liked it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!


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Review #10, by Chimom Completing the Collection

18th February 2011:
Wow, what a fitting tribute to Neville. I always liked him.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you think that as well. I wish it would really happen. I think he has a card on the video games, but as for the official deck, I'm not so sure.

Thanks for taking the time to read and review!!


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Review #11, by Kaida_Snape Completing the Collection

17th February 2011:
Oh, that was adorable! Goodness, I almost feel like crying. Haha I haven't read many Neville fanfictions, and seeing that this one was part of the Writer's Duel challenge, well, OF COURSE I had to come check it out. It is really well written and sweet. Your style is good, and the plot was really nice. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you sooo much for reviewing. I've never written with an OC before and I usually am pretty adamant about not reading OC's...but then this plot bunny came to mind and I ran with it.

I'm so glad to hear a positive response. Thanks again so much. I appreciate you taking the time to review!!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #12, by awwwwww Completing the Collection

16th February 2011:
OMG THIS IS SOOO SWEET. i loved it

Author's Response: Phew. This is a relieving first review. I wasn't so sure about it. It's not something I usually write. Glad that you loved it. Thanks for reviewing!!

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