OH MY GOD WHAT A GREAT CHAPTERAuthor's Response: i'm back i seem to have lost a bit of my touch but i'll recover it ;)
BTW, when i saw our families i meant their families (oops) Report Review
Haha, that was hilarious, and gross, good job!Author's Response: thxs i'll keep myself here thats for sure Report Review
cool!, Nice good one you got me on the last partAuthor's Response: thank you very much Report Review
next chapter please *pouting* I like it eee it's coolAuthor's Response: updated! i habe to get writting on the next chapter now Report Review
WHOA that's pretty cool I like the charcterAuthor's Response: thank you. i love her to i think i'm going to add her into another story Report Review
Great work! I love how sassy Candela is and how she is able to brush aside the Slytherin's insults as easy as a person swatting away an annoying fly. It's good how she takes everything in her stride and the story is an idea I've never seen before.
It is really compelling to read, as well as being funny and witty at the same time. Really nice job ;-) One or two grammar/continuity things I did spot were;
- "said Luna with a sign" (sign should be sigh)
- Why would the sorting be taking place on the third day of term? (you say she has been there for two days already)
- "professor McGroudle" (I presume this is supposed to be McGonagall?)
- "Blaise Zambini" (Zambini should be Zabini)
- One minute Candela seems to be going to spend time with Luna, then she's suddenly on her way to Slytherin tower
- I'm not sure how you get into the Slytherin common room, but it's less likely to be a riddle (that's Ravenclaw)
- "You know Luna and her father..." (You forget to put speech marks at the beginning)
-I'm not sure how Liberty would get into the common room; it has no windows as it is in the dungeons
But these are very small things; I'm just very picky LOL Loved the part at the end where you reveal the howler was speaking Spanish; hilarious! Overall, I've loved it so far, really good writing; please update soon!Author's Response: you made me laugh and i really needed the laugh, so thank you foe that.
-I was rushing when i was writing this beacuse the idea just poped in my head i just kept going and going!
-i know that i made a bunch of mistakes(believe me i'm picky too), but like i said i was rushing, and apperently miscrosft didn't bother to help me with some of those.
-i know i was pretending the door was open, but i forgot top write that down, sorry.
also there was more on covering how much time she spent with Luna, but i think i erased that accidently when i was pasting it.
-oh, and i forgot that you bully the bloody baron to get in at least that what i'll make it whoops.
-Name corrections i will make.
thank you for reading it. i will write soon. i actually already have the next four chapters finished, but i will update it here on the site tomorrow since they just approved this one today, and it takes about a week for it to be approved. Report Review
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