I don't review fics anymore, but I really really liked this and had to leave you a review :)
You wrote the characters really well and I loved your take on this scene. I always wondered why the Dursleys never got questioned by any of the teachers about Harry, and I liked how you made them afraid of the family, it seems so plausible. lol.
But, poor Harry :(Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Yeah, I always wondered the same thing, because if I was a teacher and I saw any of the students get mistreated, I would surely say something. However, I grew up in a school that was very political, and I things like this happen all the time. Teachers being told to look the other way with some students, but more harshly to others. It's unfair, and I can only imagine that's how Harry wound up so mistreated. Report Review
First of all, thank you for entering my challenge! I wasn't sure anyone would be willing to tackle this 'Moment' when I put it in the list and was very happy when you did!
I really enjoyed this story. I love how you went further than the obvious for this situation; bringing in the point of view of a teacher instead of only focusing on Harry's perspective.
The characterization of Harry was spot on. His reflections and dramatic imagination was just perfect and made me laugh just like it did when I read the first book.
Ms. Turner was a great, great OC. I love how bitter she is about her life - something we see in too many adults, I must say - and how she just gave up a bit, not being willing to take a stand, just waiting to follow someone's lead. She was very believable and fitted in nicely with this story. Her point of view was different and original.
The story flowed very nicely; even considering the breaks between the 'scenes', it all went together effortlessly. I did notice a couple errors through the piece that made me stumble a little. I wish to point them out to you, should you wish to improve your already great story.
"The children did not simply show respect anymore"; I think you mean 'simply did not show...' it doesn't give the same meaning to your sentence.
"Besides, he belonged to the Dursleys and one messed with them."; feels like a word is missing in this sentence..
"with the energy of a thousands chimpanzees"; either 'a thousand' or 'thousands'.
Overall, this was very original and I had a great time reading it! Great work!!
AkussaAuthor's Response: thank you! I'm not going to lie, when I got the challenge I was very discouraged. I didn't give up though, because it wouldn't be called "challenge" if you could just back out. I'll fix the grammar mistakes when I'm not working on hundreds of projects. Thank you for the challenge, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
That was AWESOME!!! I liked how you blended the two characters (Ms. Turner and Harry) together to make an extremely enjoyable storyline!Author's Response: I think your username is pretty awesome as well. Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
OMG! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!Author's Response: :) why not? Report Review
Very good story, I hate the Dursleys, you need to write a story of them really getting it.Author's Response: thank you for reading and reviewing! haha, I don't exactly hate the Dursleys. There's something about them that makes me pity them (but then again, I've never had to meet them). They are foul and terrible, but they are missing something essential in their lives. I do have a story idea where Dudley has a daughter whose a witch, and I think that would be a wonderful idea of them "getting it". If I ever have time to write it, I hope you'll read it! Report Review
This is very well-written, I just love your style. I love the entire thing. It's all just perfect. The characters and the events and everything fit just right. It was enjoyable to read. In fact, it was probably the most enjoyable thing I've ever read about a haircut. :)Author's Response: haha, that last part made me laugh...yeah, when I drew the the scene, I was like, "well, shoot...that was rotten luck", but I just pushed through it and hopefully created something that was fun...I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for reading&reviewing! I think I should deserve the title of "Best Story about a Haircut"...I'll place myself in the running Report Review
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