this a powerful pieces on voldie's thought! next, i'll be listening to the podcast..Author's Response: Hi!! Thank you so much! and yay!!! you're listening to the podcast :D don't mind my voice too much ;) Report Review
Firefly here with a review that you requested a month ago *hangs head in shame*
I know it was called Powerless but that one shot was so powerful.
Your writing style was very haunting, it had an almost rhythmic, hypnotic feeling.
You portrayed the feelings of anger, powerlessness and hunger for revenge that Voldemort would have felt brilliantly.
'A murder to feed my vanity' That is an amazing phrase, it fits Voldemort's reasoning for nearly all of his murders perfectly.
I also loved your description of the Death Eaters:
'the powerless who seek to prey on the gains of the powerful'.
Voldemort see's himself above everyone and that phrase emphasizes that brilliantly.
You said you were worried about flow. . .
It works, especially without dialogue, I don't think Voldemort would have had many conversations during those years.
All in all it was a very powerful, haunting one shot, perfect as it is about Voldemort.
Well done :)Author's Response: Hi!
Wow! thank you so much! ! !
I struggled a bit getting Voldemort's emotions right, so I'm glad they came out right. and I love those lines! Thank you so much for the review! It made me really smile :) Report Review
i really, REALLY like this. it's so hard to write from Voldemort's perspective, but this has that bite to it--that thing about it that lets you sink your teeth into the words enough, really think about it.
the tone, although very universal, really works.
i'm slightly speechless. doesn't happen to me often.
it's hard to offer any criticism towards something that just stuns you, so let me just say, this is really, really good and i like it so much that i can't even say how much i do, or why. it's one of those things where you just go, "i love it, it's awesome, it's so good" and that's enough! :)
very well done.
--lilyAuthor's Response: Um...wow. I really didn't think it was that good! LOL!!!
thanks Lily, now I'm speechless. I think this is the best compliment I've ever gotten. You're awesome, and I really value your opinion since your such a great writer, an english major, and cool poet ;)
we science nerds don't really get much compliments on our writing ^_^ Report Review
I wouldn't usually read something like this; something which has no dialogue whatsoever but this was really good and managed to keep my interest.
There was a lot of imagery and description that worked well with this.You used an interesting variation of vocab and managed to sum up a decade of his life in 1300 words which is pretty good :)
To be honest, I actually thought it was from Nagini's POV at first before I realised it was actually Voldemort!!
'I felt powerless'. That is the most perfect line to end this. It encompasses everything he usually isn't portrayed as in three words.
Well done for writing this. You did a good job. :)
-Sophia xAuthor's Response: Hi Sophia!
Thank you so much! I can see why it you'd think it was Nagini's POV. That might be a good idea though, writing from Nagini's Pov. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for commenting on the last line, the whole story, for me, seemed to just be working up to that line.
Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Hi there! This was a really interesting view of Voldemort's exile and the steps back up. The last line really hit the nail on the head. Naturally Voldemort would be hugely afraid of a powerless feeling. Even more when it's sparked by a toddler, then a gangly preteen.
It felt a little rushed at times, you certainly could have drawn things out more and taken advantage of all the possible imagery included. However, there were a few key spots that were still well done. The malleable Death Eaters, for one, was a good a point. Also the way Voldemort focused on his goal to get through the days of nothingness.
As I mentioned, there was plenty more to be said here. However, you did get a nice start, and it was a clever one shot. You did a brilliant job of getting into You-Know-Who's head, at the very least, and I could see that you put a lot of thought into it. :)Author's Response: Hi lllb!
Yeah, I can see that I did rush through some spots- thanks for pointing out! Some of the descriptions need to be expanded on, I kind of reached a standstill with some parts though and found it hard to draw it out longer.
I love the last line! I'm glad you commented on that :)
and that I've at least succeeded somewhat in getting into voldy's head.
Thanks for the wonderful review! Report Review
Oh well this was really good, I loved it!
I liked your characterisation and i could really feel the bitterness and the anger just seeping of him.
I thought you wrote this brilliantly!
I loved your narrative and i thought you dealt with the thoughts and feelings well and realistically.
Your ending was brilliant, those three words were all you needed just to finish that off.
Hannah xAuthor's Response: Hi hannah! thank you so much! I glad you liked the ending- the whole story was working up to that last line and I wanted it to have the most impact. Thanks for the review :) Report Review
I love this! This is such a - ironically - powerful one shot. It's beautifully written, just be careful about repeating words. I get that they are meant to be mantra but sometimes it just feels a bit odd and disrupts flow, for example: 'My world was drowned in darkness, an abstract darkness harder to penetrate than any other darkness' Perhaps you could replace one of the 'darkness' with shadows or gloom or another synonym? I love the characterisation of the piece. It works really well, just like one of the massive monologues at the very end/the denoument when Voldy reveals all. I like how you wrote about each year, it proved very effective!
A very good one-shot, well done!Author's Response: Hello!
Thanks dear! I get what you are saying about too much repetition- I will see what I can do about that. Voldemort's character was surprisingly one the easiest I've written- its kind of disturbing actually :)
thanks for leaving a review! Report Review
Ooh! This was pretty powerful. I think it's striking that you had Voldemort sustain himself on spite and malice instead of power. I always picture him as this power-hungry, other-worldly thing that is incapable of real emotion. The fact that he can feel spite indicates that he can feel envy, and confusion, and that unlocks the door to Voldy's secret emotions no one knew existed. It makes him more real and complex, rather than just a symbol of evil and greed-gone-wrong. With this story, I can get a sense of how ignorant he truly is in his view of the world, but it's in a subtle, well-written way. I see it in the mood of his thoughts. Oh, goodness, I just feel a bit creeped out with this image of a Voldemort-thing slithering around on the ground through the leaves. Makes me want to go sit in a chair or something so that I'm not touching the floor anymore (as I am doing at the moment). Brilliantly creep-tastic, my friend. :)Author's Response: hello!
I've actually always pictured voldemort as secretly insecure- and seeking power to make up for his insecurities. I know the books kind of paint him as just a symbol of evil but I rather feel that JKR always left room for readers to go beyond that. I'm glad this story unlocked those emotions!
Hehe! the image of you running for cover and lifting your feet off the ground is a funny one ;)
thanks for the review! Report Review
Ooh. Dark and mysterious and a little bit creepy. I like it.
This is kind of a weird compliment but I just really have to mention that your use of vocabulary is really good, haha. It's kind of beautiful. It's not over the top, but just right.
Anyway, this is a really interesting tale. I like that you didn't just come right out and say what was going on, it was way more interesting finding out as it went and making guesses. I liked the way you described the things he went through and the way he felt going through them.
This is definitely one of the more interesting things I've read in awhile! Very clever. Nice job(:
Erica.Author's Response: Hi erica!
thank you so much! I love that you picked up the vocab, I worked really hard on getting that just right and I'm really glad you like it and found it interesting! :) Report Review
Wow. I must admit, the topic of this story I haven't really considered. I never thought much about about Voldermorts time in exile; other than that it wouldn't be a good time. I mean, being a shadow and all, hardly a party. I love the fact that you've written Voldermort. I don't really read fics about Voldermort cause I tend to stay away from things like that, cause I adore humour but I found this story really enjoyable. I may go and hunt out stories like this now, you've given me a brilliant taste for stories like this.
I think you've captured Voldermorts mind brilliantly. I can understand him somewhat, for once. I slightly feel sorry for him, and this is a murderer we're talking about so that is awesome.
I hope you do well in the duel. I really enjoyed this. You have a vivid writing style and the flow was excellent.
- SexyDoorFramesAuthor's Response: Hi!
Yeah, I've never considered writing a dark fic (or reading one) before this- I rather like humor and romance better. This is really different for me, so I'm glad it came out somewhat convincing lol!
Thank you for reviewing, and I'm happy that you've gained a new taste for dark fics like this :)
Woah, this was so cool! For some reason I've never much considered Voldemort's time in exile as a fic, I'm not sure why - it certainly is interesting for me to hear a theory as to how he spent those years as little more than a shadow. I also really commend you because this pretty much exactly fits the category you've entered - span of a decade, Voldemort being exiled for a decade? Brilliant, brilliant stuff, I never would have thought of it. =]
You wrote Voldemort's inner thoughts in a very interesting way - it almost makes one empathize (if not sympathize) with Voldemort as a character, and that's extremely hard to do. Major props to you for that!
I thought this was a very cool and interesting story, and I hope you do really well in the duel! ^^Author's Response: hey! thanks for the review! yeah I'm glad the writer's duel came up, or I would've never thought of this. I kinda sympathize with voldy too, although that wasn't originally my intent in writing the story. glad you like it :) Report Review
Oooh, tackling the tough you-know-who himself. Very hard to write him, I know. I think you do a good job of imagining yourself in his shoes (metaphorical, anyhow. Can you imagine Voldy with shoes?). It's not every day you have to think like the Dark Lord.
I can see what you're trying to get across and you do a good job of explaining and describing. Some of the syntax and vocabulary could change to emphasize his thoughts. I like to think that there's a lot of power in implications rather than explaining everything. Sometimes less is better depending on the scene. Such as: "There was a moment of struggling and then he was no more" could just be "He struggled and then he was no more".
You also don't need to explicitly say the emotions. The whole showing not telling bit. Like in here: "filled me with so much hate, so much spite", a lot of this can be implied.
Good job! I hope this helped some :D Definitely props for doing a Voldy oneshot!Author's Response: Hi!
hehe! voldemort in shoes ;)
Yes, I can see what your saying about syntax. I tend to be a bit too wordy sometimes- I'll be working on it more, thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for the wonderfully thoughtful review:) Report Review
Congrats on a really nicely written story. I've never written anything form Voldemort's perspective before and I think you did it really well. I could see into his mind and his really dark thoughts and it was kind of creepy, but in a good way. the whole story flowed really well, sort of like a diary. There were also some well crafted descriptions that were a joy to read. You have a lovely writing style and a wonderful way with words. Well done on a great story and all the best for the writers duel.Author's Response: Hi!
thank you so much! I've never written voldemort before but I had fun with the creepiness all the same :)
I'm really glad you enjoyed it- and thanks for the amazing review, really- I'm smiling kinda freakishly right now ;)
Good story, I have never read one from Voldermorts point of view before. Is it wrong at i feel sorry for him (not that sorry obviously, but sorry nonetheless). I enjoyed your details I felt like i was reading his secret diary or something lol.
I enjoyed it
Silverstarletworld89:-)Author's Response: hey silverstarletworld!
yeah, I kinda felt sorry for him when I was writing it too- but then I remember lily and james :(
Glad you enjoyed it! and thanks for the review :)
off to search for the dreaded last clue ;)
Hi! I'm really impressed by your writing style, it was well suited to Voldemort's voice. I would imagine it was a tough one to pull off, well done!Author's Response: hey brightstar! thanks for answering my pitiful plea for reads! It was actually easier to write than i expected - which kind of worries me, maybe i'm secretly a dark wizard...lol!
thanks for leaving a review:) Report Review
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