This is actually really cute. And I LOVE all the smart, quick, witty little remarks the characters make to each other.
Really nice story. Thank you [: Report Review
I love your portrayal of Albus, I really like his attitude. Great story Report Review
Heyo! I started reading this and was like "who are these cool nd mysterious kids and where can i find one?" taha im enjoying this point of view and i love how amazingly cool al abd scorpius are. 10/10Author's Response: Haha, thank you! :)
I'm glad that you're enjoying this, and that you like the characters! I loved writing this story, and I hope you you like reading it! Report Review
This was quite a sweet chapter. Though I can say that I'm glad you didn't do the mushy stuff. It just wouldn't fit with the characterS. As for Adam White, he deserved what he got. Though it was a little extreme.Author's Response: I'm not too brilliant at writing the mushy side of things anyway, so I thought I'd try to avoid it with this story! :) Thank you for all the lovely review's you've left on this story.
I do agree with you; it was a little extreme. If I'm honest I was planning to do two or three other stories that could be read from the characters in this story, but I've never got around to it. I may one day come back to it, but not at the moment. Lily's character was going to be one of the stories protagonists, and her character was very, very extreme and dramatic, so that was the foundation for it, but without more of Lily's character in this story, it just seems like such a crazy thing to do.
Thank you again! :) Report Review
Scorpious definitely has the best quotes..Author's Response: There's always one character that I write, it seems, that get's the better lines than everyone else! Thank you for the review! :) Report Review
Ha " So can I still hex him ". Wonderful chapter by the way.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed this! :) Report Review
This is quite well written. Excellent story line, I can see why you like it soo much. I quite like it as well. Is it hard to write in Albus's point of view. You know because it must be hard writing something someone else started ( J.K. Rowling )Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)
Writing Albus was difficult at first, but it got easier as I got the hang of this characterisation that I used for him! But I always feel a little apprehensive when writing J.Ks characters; I don't want to do a bad job. Thank you again! Report Review
Brilliant story, very interesting and unique, and I loved Bambi and Albus, Jack was a sweetheart and Scorp and Lily were awesome. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm glad that you enjoyed this!
I love writing characters, and these were some of my favourites, so I'm pleased that you like them too! Report Review
Aah I love all your stories!!! It's kind of crazy. And I've gotta admit, as much as I loved Bambi, I also kind of hated her because she's so darn perfect. But what ever. I'm just jealous of her awesomeness I guess...Author's Response: Haha, thank you very much! I'm so glad that you enjoy my stories!
I completely relate, Bambi is the type of girl that we all love to hate on a little bit ;)
Thank you again! Report Review
Could please do a sequel with Bambi and Albus and the same style except make it alot longer.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed this - at least, I hope you did :) - but I'm afraid that this is the end of the story for Al and Bambi. Thank you again! Report Review
Hi there :)
This is probably the best short story I've ever read. *One of the best ;)
I love the writing style of it, and the feel of the story. It's original, yet really not cliche. I fell in love with it and I've been in love with it since the first chapter :)
I really enjoyed reading this story. Probably one of your best. It was so GREAT. No words. No words :)
xxx sofia :)Author's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review! I had never tried my hand at a short story before and thought that I should give it a go. Albus is a character that I've always wanted to write, especially like this, and I thought that I'd give it a try in a short story; see how it goes. :)
Thank you again! You're very kind. Report Review
I'm really liking the characters in this story! And the banter between Al and Bambi is so funny. I love it! :)Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you're enjoying this so far; I hope that you like the rest! :) Report Review
Splendid...simply ...wondefullAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed this! :) Report Review
I looove the way you write Albus's character. It's different than all the other fics I've read, and I like it -- not the usual cliche Albus. His dry humor is so funny, and I love his friendship with Scorpius! Just a great story all around, everything about it! love it!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you're enjoying this so far!
I thought that I would try something a little different and chose to write from Al's point of view, so I'm thrilled that you're liking it!
Thank you again, I hope that you enjoy the rest! Report Review
I loved this story, it was really entertaining.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed this story! :D Report Review
Oh, the ending was not mushy at all, I didn't think. It was probably my favourite part of the story. It was great that Bambi was the one taking the lead, not Albus.
Although I didn't like the story as much as others of yours, it was a good read. I really liked the whole deck card thing, and I am, needless to say, just shy of in love with Albus and the way he lives.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you read this one too! :D
I thought that it wouldn't have been a very Albus thing to do to make the first move, he's very reserved when it comes to emotion, so I thought that it would have to be Nancy that made the first move.
Thank you again! I'm glad that you enjoyed this, even though it wasn't your favourite.
And me too, me too. :D Report Review
u shudn't "attempt a short one". CUS I WANT MORE!!
btw i think im in love w/Albus. only one problem: he doesnt like quidditch.
BEST STORY EVA!!Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you've enjoyed this!
Haha, I guess that I had fun writing this, and I didn't want to drag it out. :) Report Review
Cute story :) I love how al calls Nancy bambi, it's so sweet :) awesome story,, I might have a look at some of your other stories now :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you've enjoyed this.
I thought that she deserved a nickname; it didn't seem like Albus to actually stick to what wanted.
Thank you again. Report Review
Excellent ending! They're so cute together Author's Response: Thank you for the review, I'm glad that you've enjoyed this! :D Report Review
This is absolutely brilliant! I love the characters and the storyline :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this! I honestly had a lovely time writing this story. :D Report Review
I LOVE IT! WRITE MORE PLEASE!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you've enjoyed this. I'm sorry that there isn't any more, trust me if I had the time to carry on this story, I would. :D Report Review
I just wanted you to know this was wonderful! I really enjoyed the characters--they were believable and interesting--and the plot was fun to read.
Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you've enjoyed this little story of mine! :D
I had so much fun writing this; it was so different to anything that I had ever done before.
Thank you again! Report Review
Aw, I loved this story. It was so cute. I love Nancy and Albus. They seriously make the most devine couple. Different in so many ways and yet they somehow fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
It was really rather different from most Albus-OC stories I've read, so I thank you for that. Originality is something that I've always held near and dear to my heart.
I loved your characterization in this chapter, as well as the others. Not to mention the banter and flow seemed to go at a perfect pace.
This paragraph actually made me laugh out loud hysterically for a minute or so: The blonde shook his head and looks mildly amused. “He was threatened by a group of Hufflepuffs – well, there are just too many things wrong with that sentence. For starters ‘threatened by’ and ‘Hufflepuffs’ are two terms that should never be used in the same sentence. Unless it’s ‘The Hufflepuffs felt threatened by everything from the Slytherin Quidditch team to a pair of dirty socks’.”
Ah, Scorpius. Can't say that I blame him for saying that, though. I can't imagine a gaggle of Hufflepuffs being that intimidating.
As far as spelling and grammar go, I did pick up on an error: Lily pushed my should be Lily pushed me. Other than that, I didn't find any other mistakes.
Nice job & great story!
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm sorry that it's taken so long to get back to you. I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this story!
Writing Nancy and Albus was such an interesting experience for me; I had never written anything like it before.
That paragraph is a favourite of mine, so I'm happy that you like it.
I will try to fix that error when I have a spare moment. Thank you again, Linders! Report Review
Aw, Albus is so sweet. I love him for being such a sweetheart to Nancy.
Scorpius's: “Why are you a Slytherin?” line literally made me laugh out loud. Poor Jack. I can't imagine that it would be fun to have Scorpius and Al as roommates. I think I would probably go crazy if they were mine.
Your characterization, flow, and banter all seemed to flow well. Nothing seemed jarringly out of place.
I like that in this chapter Nancy let Albus comfort her. It was adorable that she actually trusted him enough to confide in him. I feel so terrible about White said to her, though. If I was one of her gal pals, I would have knocked his teeth down his throat. Just saying.
I didn't pick up on any grammatical or spelling errors so kudos there! :)
I can't wait to see how this ends!
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review!
I really, really enjoy writing anything that involves Scorpius - yet, I always seem to write him with the wit.
I'm glad that you've noticed that fact about Jack being in a hard position. Most have simply commented that it would be a great laugh rooming with the two boys. :D
I quite like your method of dealing with White, I actually fully agree with you too. Yet, hopefully Albus' methods will meet your approval :P I wasn't too sure when writing it, so I hope you liked it.
Thank you again! Report Review
Buhahaha! I love Albus. I seriously wanted to hug him so many times in this chapter. White and Bambi are an item then? How disappointing. I really don't like White. He seems like such a sodding tosser.
Then again, it isn't as if Albus were the king of decorum and proper conduct. However, I can't help but have an affinity for the poor boy.
Constantly being called illiterate and not being trusted with books would be quite a disheartening experience.
As always, I enjoyed the banter, and your characterizations. This continues to be a fun piece.
As far as spelling and grammar are concerned, I did pick up on one error: I assured him that it blended in with the blood but he refused. It's just an incomplete thought. I think most people knew what you meant, you might just want to fix that.
I didn't pick up on any other errors, though.
Great job! I can't wait to see what happens next.
LindersAuthor's Response: Haha. Albus just seems to always be in the right place at the right time. I am sure he would happily return your hugs.
White and Bambi are an item as far as White is concerned ... Bambi, not so much.
He may be a tosser; but I really, really like his name.
Can I please just let you know, that reading 'Then again, it isn't as if Albus were the king of decorum and proper conduct.' really made me smile. You're brilliant.
Thank you again. I will fix the errors that you've found and I hope that you've enjoyed the next two chapters! Report Review
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