Hi! First thing I'd like to say is that I think this was a really interesting fic! I thought you got the Draco/Carbbe/Goyle thing worked out really well, Draco's really well in character, some fics are not very good at getting Draco right at all. You've got his sneering dominance and laughing cruelty just right! I would like to point out that the spelling of Millicent is a little bit dodgy, but that's something you can easily go back and edit to make it look more proffessional. The second thing is that I agree with the comments about Millicent that were made in your previous review. In the books, I don't think Millicent is very good looking or very nice so I think that maybe you could change that a little bit but otherwise I think that that was a very very good story about a ship that we know practically nothing about and you handled the lack of information very very well. Congratulations! Report Review
Hello hun, sorry it has taken me so long to get to your review on my challenge! :)
Some main things i have noticed in your story are
Characterization: Draco and blaise and crabbe were as perfect as could really be! I got some vibes on Millicent that she was a little too nice at times. .. im not so sure she would be hanging out with Ravenclaws!
Plot Development: I loved your initial plot! :) I understand the point you were meaning to get across, that Millicent and Crabbe got together and that she didnt want to see him getting pushed around any more, but at times the details masked the plot.
Your rhythm and pacing was GREAT! I really enjoyed the pacing it took to get to the ending of the story! :)
You tended to have a few ron on sentences and Millicent was spelled wrong through the entire story, but even i have done that with Lucius' name before! :)
You got major points for Vincent/Millicent because i am a HUGE fan of this ship! :)
All in all it was a REALLY good story hun!! :)
XxJessAuthor's Response: thanks for the good review, My spelling is not so hot all the time and with spell check not helping me much, I tend to do some of the run on stuff, but that's how I talk some times too ;). But I'm glad you liked it. Thanks again. Report Review
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