Reading Reviews for Red & Gold: Lioness
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Akussa Red & Gold: Lioness

22nd May 2011:
Hi!

Now, you see, I spent about a minute looking for the "next chapter" icone before I realized this was a one-shot. It's very rude of you to leave so many unanswered questions...

I really liked this piece though, I was very much into the story by the end so you really did a wonderful job. Congrats on keeping the flow between the very detailed and poetic descriptions, naratives and the very "Old" kind of speech. It wasn't too modern and kept felt in tune with the era.

The characters were engaging and very well detailed. I really, really had a great time reading this, congrats!

Akussa

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Review #2, by Owlpost68 Red & Gold: Lioness

7th March 2011:
I love it! It was so sad too though. I wish she just went with him because I like happy endings, but it was still a great story. They knew they both had to do what they were passionate about, and what was important to them. That had to have taken great courage to do that, and would make loads of sense that the Animal for Gryffindor is a Lion, and how the house was associated with courage. Great job!! I would have put this in 1st place! :)
I wrote a story in response to the decade of legends too, but took too long to get it confirmed. A lot different then yours, but I still like it a lot :)
Loved the story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! All three winner stories were really great, so yeah, that's quite the compliment! I'm sure your story is great too, a shame it didn't get validated in time.

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Review #3, by theelderwand Red & Gold: Lioness

21st February 2011:
Leo,

This was a truly great tale. I loved your descriptions, from the surroundings, to the characters to their emotions and reactions.

Its never easy to establish a character in a one shot and make a reader truly care. Here, you not only do that about one character, but all of your main ones.

The tapestry you've weaved with the canon (the Peverells in particular) was stellar.

Now, fess up? Does Godric marry Ariel? Is Aura's child Harry's ancestor or has Ariel conceived and is her child with Godric Harry's kin? This tale really deserves a follow up, its that good.

Eldy

Author's Response: Hey!

Be careful, one day I might just be inclined to believe your praise ;)

Seriously though, loved that review. When I came up with Ariel, the backstory kind of weaved itself, and I would catch myself making up scenes starting from her and Godric's youth. I'd defintely have the ideas for a follow-up; we'll just have to wait and see. And yes, one of the sisters is Harry's ancestor :D

Thanks for reading and reviewing! xxx Leo


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Review #4, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Red & Gold: Lioness

20th February 2011:
This is only the second founders story I have ever read and I loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Review #5, by TallestTower Red & Gold: Lioness

20th February 2011:
This was very interesting! I've read very few founder fics before, but I always love the fantasy/magical feel they have (of course all HP does!)

The romance was very well written as were all your descriptions of the surroundings. I loved 'learning' the history behind the characters. I thought it was true to his character that in the end Godric had to follow his dreams.

Some very creative ideas, the patronus scene was so sweet and a lovely touch. The characters seemed well developed and vivid. I like the ancient sounding names. A couple of times the dialogue sounded a bit too modern, but it must be very difficult to write founder's dialogue.
Really well done!

Author's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review :D

It was a daunting thought, writing a founders fic, something I've never done before, but I got this idea as soon as I read the cue. Glad it turned out interesting!

I have to agree with you about the a-bit-too-modern dialogue, something I realise only now rereading the whole one-shot.

Thank you, reviews always make me so happy! xxx Leo


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Review #6, by Jenna822 Red & Gold: Lioness

18th February 2011:
Hello. Here with your review.

Wow, your opening is awesome. I love the set-up and the description of the cottage. The way you wrote the vines set a tone for the story in a very simple way, so well done with that. I love that youíre going to use Old English terms, but I would say to take out the * because it throws a kink in the flow. Itís like a reminder that youíre reading a story and it just makes it fall off. Plus, I found myself scrolling down and that sorta broke the flow also. Iíd say just leave the definition at the bottom. It wonít kill the story if people arenít sure what an eam is right away. (: I like the names for the sisters and how youíve given them individual personalities and attributes. Canít wait to see what theyíre gonna get up to!

That moment between Ariel and Godric was so sweet. It was written very well and it felt calm. I like how gentle youíve made him here. Seems to be a nice characterization of him. How heís good with the children and story telling, I can see that being a way JK would have wanted him. The part with the dragon stories is awesome. The way the kids want to believe so much, but of course their raising wonít allow them to.

Spotted one typo: Öbut in a time were non-magical and magical folks lived togetherÖ
Should be ďwhereĒ and not ďwereĒ.

Thatís so cool how he used their animal souls to tell the story like itís a fable rather than what truly happened. Part of my mind pictured it as animals while the other part had the human version going. It was neat. ^.^

I feel sorry for Godricís mother and Ariel. Such an adventurous man, always off in the world while they stay behind and wish he was there. Itís sad. Yet I admire her strength in not pushing him to do something he wouldnít want to. Itís also very period-correct, her not rising up and speaking out about it.

Oh I like the Patronus scene. Her having a Lioness was so sweet. I always considered matching Patronuses like a Soul-Mate kind of situation (the way James and Lily were) and hers matching his is heart touching. But then itís also sad since they wonít be staying together when he goes off to build the school.

That stars witnessed line was just beautiful. Youíve got a very nice writing style!

Okay, so ending thoughts, this was a very nice one shot. I mean very very nice. Iím adding it to my favorites because I love it. The only critique I could offer would be to do a little more study on speech patterns and terms. Their language seemed a tad too modern. It held the propriety, but not quite enough period-relevance. If that makes sense. Iím not always the best at explaining myself. Lol.

--Jenna

Author's Response: Wow, that review is a story in itself. Not that I mind :)

That's the first time I wrote this era, it means a lot that you think it fits, took me longer than usual to write this one-shot. But a review like this makes it worth the time, so thank you!
Lol, I get what you're trying to say with the period-relevance of the language. And I suppose it could really use some work; I'll definitely keep this in mind should I edit or write another founder's era.

There's not much given in terms of characterisation on the founders, apart from which qualities they prefer in their students.This prompt 'Behind Every Legend' really got me thinking, and this is the result, obviously ;)

I wanted to cut out the story-telling scene, because that scene wasn't planned at all; I'm glad I didn't. And the patronus scene is my favourite part, I can reread it and still enjoy it, something that's not always the case when I read my own work, even if others tell me they like it.

Thanks so much for reviewing this for me, you have me grinning like a loon :D xxx Leo


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Review #7, by TheProphecy Red & Gold: Lioness

16th February 2011:
Hello!!

Thanks for reviewing mine ^_^..My turn!!

Well I really liked thi story, I don't often read founders era but this was really good. It was well written and I liked your OCs Godric and Ignotus!

I was actually a bit surprised to see Ignotus in there but it was good :)

I liked your ending as well. Well done :D

Hannah x

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked it, especially since it was the first time I tried writing founder's era.
xxx Leo


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Review #8, by justonemorefic Red & Gold: Lioness

16th February 2011:
OOH. FOUNDERS FIC. Ahh good to go back to my medieval fantasy roots. First love in reading.

Ahh, the times when love was so subtle and pure. A nice departure from the broom closet snogging, no? ;) I like the descriptions you've got for their stroll.

"Itís basically a shield against dark magic. Plus, if youíre skilled enough," ah, this part struck me as slightly off for the dialogue of the period. Nitpicky things.

Aww, I love the parting. I mean, it's sweet, not sickly so, and I love that they have this sense of duty. I mean such honor! And I love the whole little village you set up. The idea that Godric came from a small place and he became a legend. A theme in a lot of fantasy stories and I think you pull it off well. I think the scenes with both Godric and Ariel are the best; I can sense their quiet love for one another.

Lovely! ^__^

Author's Response: Squee, first reviews always make me so happy, especially if they're so nice :D

First time I tried writing founders era, so I was/am really anxious if I could pull it off.

Oh, I don't mind nitpicking, I do that myself ;) Didn't see that one, but you're right, it sounds too modern.

Thanks for that lovely review!


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