Reading Reviews for With Sirius Black
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by princesslily_36 Prologue with Sirius Black

9th November 2015:
Hey Heather,
Sorry about the late review, I typed it all on my phone, since I can't get to my laptop, my mom has decided to prise it away from me since I was constantly typing on it. Anyway, technology problems, I lost the review. So here I am.

I liked the beginning, the way you described Sirius in Azkaban was so spot on. I could totally picture him being so... maniacal. He would find it so funny in an anfgry sort of way that he's locked up while Peter is still out there. I loved how you described him keeping his sanity and transforming. I do have a little concern here. It was my understanding that only after Sirius spotted Peter in that paper that he was able to gather the will power to transform within his cell. I don't think he knew he could transform before that. I loved Petunia's description - a horse about to give birth. It was hilarious! I think the present tense is done very well. I did spot a couple of mistakes, but nothing really major. I really wish I recover soon and come over to beta. I'm so sorry about that!

Also, since I've read all four chapters, I want to say I really like Cora McKinnon too, but I'll do justice to that by reviewing the other chapters :D

See you in Chapter 2 :)


Author's Response: Really, the most important thing is you getting better, so honestly, don't worry about it, better late than never!
I'm so glad you liked it even in present tense. I was thinking about the transforming thing and thought he might not leave without having some kind of idea he could be. Would it even have been worth it escaping if he couldn't find him? Plus, if he messed up and got himself locked in there with him, he'd know exactly where he was.
I thought the Petunia thing was pretty funny too lol.
Can't wait to hear from you again, but get better soon!
Thanks :)

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Review #2, by Marshal Prologue with Sirius Black

25th September 2015:
Nice start. I rather like how you took on the time of Sirius' time in Azkaban. That is a time I always wonder about some times. I've never been brave enough to deal with the emotions there at Azkaban myself.

Author's Response: Hi!

Yeah, I don't think I delved as deep as other people and I need to edit this story next after I'm done getting my novel all caught up with edits, but I really loved writing about Sirius and how he kept sane while he watched everyone else go mad.

Your story's good too, I have to go back and review it lol.


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Review #3, by Unicorn_Charm Prologue with Sirius Black

21st August 2015:
Hey! Here for Team Red! :)

Oh my goodness I loved this! I thought you'd did a great job getting inside Sirius' head while he was locked in Azkaban.

Ugh! My heart always aches so badly reading about him in prison. It was so unfair what happened to him. I really feel like he had the worst deal out of the 4 guys. Remus was at least free to come and go as he pleased. His prison was his own mind. Peter was a rat, yes, but lived comfortably enough with the Weasley's. Sirius though. He really only had a little bit of freedom from when he ran away from home and until he was locked here. And the way that you described how he had lost all hope and the only thing he had left was truth was totally how I would have imagined him feeling, from what we know from cannon.

I liked the little bits of personality you threw in there. How he would get the other prisoners in on yelling for Bellatrix to shut up, the way he would laugh when Fudge was around and how he wished he could laugh at Fred and George knowing that it was funny, yet literally could not laugh.

The whole exchange with Fudge, for the paper, and how he felt after seeing Peter was just SO well done! It was pretty much exactly how I would have pictured it. I loved it!

He's at Hogwarts. I just LOVED how that was a stand alone line like that!

I really loved that as he swam farther away he seemed to think of things that made him feel different emotions again - Harry, Lily and James' grave, the humor about Petunia. It was a great way to show the effects of Azkaban, and the Dementors, slowly fading away. Very clever.

This was a great opening to your story. I definitely want to come back and continue on! Great work!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Blush... thank you so much for your praise. There is quite a bit of work I need to edit for the rest of the story, but I'm glad you like it so far :)
Really, I'm just a little in awe of your praise, I'm so grateful! It makes me really want to do right by the rest of the story, I just don't know when I'll be able to get to it. Thanks again, so much :)

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Review #4, by TreacleTart Prologue with Sirius Black

17th August 2015:
Hi there!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold review battle! Go team red!

I always love stories that fill in the missing moments in cannon. Since everything is always from Harry's perspective, we as readers really miss a lot of the story. Sirius in particular is one of those characters who has an incredible side story going on, so I'm always happy to see people exploring it.

You covered an interesting little chunk of time here. We get to see a snippet of Sirius in Azkaban and then the moment when it dawns on him that Peter will be going to Hogwarts and then eventually his actual escape. I saw lots of fascinating little details that don't get explored in cannon in this. I really liked that the Dementors affected Sirius' ability to shift into his animagus form. I think showing him practicing was a smart move.

My only touch of constructive criticism would be that in places I felt like you were summarizing the story a bit. I think adding a bit more sensory detail would help you show what's happening to him more than telling it.

All in all, I think this is a really interesting start and I'm curious where Sirius' escape takes him next.

Good job!


Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yep this story is on my to do list of story editing. I had to upgrade it to short story status 'cause it was too long for a one shot, and then people wanted more, but I really have to take a look and see what would be for the best. I'm so glad you liked it, I like the idea of adding more sensory detail, that should bring a lot more to the story, Thanks!

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Review #5, by Wistful Prologue with Sirius Black

18th April 2013:
Since, well, forever, Sirius Black has always been an especially interesting character to read, and I was utterly devastated by his death in the fifth book. The idea to explore his past, not exactly during the Marauder's era but while in Azkaban, was extremely clever, and I was hooked in just by the idea of a plot following Sirius Black to his escape and perhaps eventually to his double crossing, old 'friend' - Peter Pettigrew. This whole story gives that devestating feel of Azkaban and the bitterness of our main character, known as a traitor and murderer without cause. Framed. It's enough to drive anyone mad.

Sirius Black is a beloved character by the fandom, and it was certainly a tragic blow to our hearts when he died. This does make him a tricky character to write. With so many fans with knowledge about Sirius from the books, it can be difficult to keep him as he was written in the books, and I applaud you for your effort. Considering circumstances, I believe that Sirius was written fairly in cannon. No one'll be exactly the same after years in one of the worst Wizarding prisons with creatures that essentially suck the happiness out of you, would they? Even if they were the nifty Sirius Black with all those clever tricks up those sleeves - like, say, transforming into a dog.

I do have to crit his escape though. Thirteen years would drive a man almost insane even with Sirius Black's rays of hopes and animigus power. He did have a goal in mind, and that was what kept him hanging there. But still, wouldn't it be more likely he thought of escaping as a dog much more long ago when his mind was more clear? We know from how casual he was about the crossword puzzle in the books that he fared well enough, but that was with the dementors not quite nearby, and so how would he be like in the night? Although your description was good, i don't think you quite captured how it must have been in the dark hearing screams at night.

The bitterness like I already mentioned was really good. He'd have to be bitter. A man betrayed him and lived free. Literally a double-crossing rat. His mental character was very good and described the bitter, ex-Marauder character of our beloved Sirius. I would like to ask if you could easily slip in some more physical description of him. Just him "running a hand through the greasy, dark locks" or "peering gray eyes at the Minister" or just something like that to help give the reader more of a visual. On that note, I think the whole chapter could benefit form a little more description.

Bottom line, I loved the clarity and strenth of this story as well as the fantastic story line but think it could use some description.

I hope I helped!

- Wistful with a late review swap >.>

Author's Response: Really late response, but with this awesome new site remodel I can now see how many reviews I've missed answering.

Thank you very much for this review, I am working on revamping it, and even making it longer with more details, like exactly how he escaped and what he did right after. I might go more into the dark things but the challenge is that I don't really like it, no one loves torturing their character unless they're really bad. The thing is, he really went through it so I have to bring that out as a responsible writer.
You really did help with this review, I'm just sorry it took this long to tell you.
Thanks, and I hope you check in again!

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Review #6, by caoty Prologue with Sirius Black

25th August 2012:
So it took me forever to get around to this because honestly life's been hectic & I completely forgot. I'm a terrible person. Thanks for being so polite about it, btw.

I really like what you've done with Sirius' pov. You've shown his resilience and sense of humour well even in the darkest times, which is sometimes compromised in fic, so well done there. (Personally I'd have had more of a mention of Remus... but then, I am a Wolfstar shipper.)
It's realistic without being depressing, which is something I could never do. I tip my hypothetical hat to you, madam/sir/[honourific of your choice].

There were a couple of missed apostrophes, maybe too many semi-colons where you could have used brackets or dashes just to keep it interesting, other nitpicky things like that, so watch out for them.

All in all, I reckon I'll keep an eye out for this fic and the others you write. :)

Author's Response: Awesome, thank you so much! I know life can be hectic so I didn't see any reason to be rude about it lol. Resilience, that's a word I haven't seen yet in reviews, but yes, it's very true :) You're absolutely right! I didn't think about Remus :O When I go about editing/elongating this story, and I will eventually, I'll definitely mention Remus more, I mean he is the one that's still alive, and after he escapes from Hogwarts wouldn't he maybe stay with him a little while to figure out where he's going?? Oh, you've definitely got me thinking again about the little things, thank you so much for the review, it was well worth the wait :)

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Review #7, by CambAngst On the run With Sirius Black

16th May 2012:
I'm going back catching up on a lot of stories that I read and reviewed a long time ago and I found this one among my old reviews. After reading this chapter, it dawned on me that What Means Most is probably a sequel to this story. Very interesting...

Sirius's recollection of his escape from Hogwarts seemed exactly in line with what I remembered. It must have been an amazing feeling, flying away on Buckbeak's back, and you captured it fairly well.

I thought perhaps you could have elaborated just a bit more on how he arrived at his choice of destination. Does he have some history with this island, or was it just a place he spotted from the air?

Cora seems like a real pistol. Most witches wouldn't just walk up to a mysterious, sleeping wizard and yank the blanket right out from under him. If there was anything that felt a bit off about her character, it was that. Especially considering that her family fled England specifically to get away from the magical world. Obviously, she's intrigued as to what happened while they've been away and she sees Sirius as a chance to re-engage.

I'm looking forward to reading about their night out dancing.

Author's Response: yeah I had that scene with the blanket more for a shock factor and a way that she'd meet him... I didn't really have a better idea how to pull that off. I agree that maybe I could elaborate how he came up with the idea of the mediteranean island. Maybe a poster of a travel agency in a town he was in as a dog? snagged a map and took off? hmm. I'm so glad you and all my other reviewers are so into this story and helping me fill plot holes :D
Thanks so much for reviewing! And yes, What Means Most is connected to it :D

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Review #8, by Kwan When Things Go Badly, With Sirius Black

15th May 2012:
Aww this was a medley of emotions and very well written. The first person voice really let us into Sirius' thought process and it was exactly how I envisioned Sirius. Thoughtful yet grateful for an opportunity to live again.

It was also a really clever way to explain his absence between the 3rd and 5th books. I only wish there would have been a section where you had Sirius talking to Harry via Floo during GoF, but the time lapse is never really explained while he's in the Mediterannean.

It was sad, knowing that his temporary vacation was never meant to last. Even more so that it would be that douche who would cut it short. Still, I had a fleeting hope that he could somehow pull it off, but we all know how this story ends.

There were very few grammar problems and most of them just related to tense and things that are easy to forget when writing so many words. Otherwise, a bittersweet and very well-written story.

Author's Response: I can't get enough of hearing how well I seem to write Sirius :D I'm contemplating making the story longer so that's why I haven't been able to bring myself to say it's complete :P but while Sirius is on the run in harry's 4th year, and how he got back into grimauld place would be interesting. This would also give me the opportunity to go into an area I've haven't gone yet, which is Angst. So thank you so much for the review since it's gone and sparked some more thoughts on what I can do with this :D oh, and Thanks for giving me my 30th review! it's very exciting since this story stemmed from my very first one-shot that got too long and had to be broken up lol.
Very unexpected and welcome review, thanks again!

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Review #9, by Jchrissy Prologue with Sirius Black

14th May 2012:
I really like it so far, you made me feel like I was living in Sirius's head, along for the ride!

Author's Response: lol oh random reviews how I love you, lol. I was like, wait, that review count is a little higher lol. Aww I'm glad I was able to do that! I'm always so happy when I get the characters right. I haven't much failed yet! Harry and Ginny a little, but not much :)
Thanks for the review! I hope the rest of the ride is just as good :D

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Review #10, by Ever! On the run With Sirius Black

9th May 2012:
she's a flipping slytherin! yesss!

Sirius is very in character, and I'm curious as to were this story will go.

I'm not sure about Cora...she's very... this is what's happening, and if you don't like it, suck it the heck up.

Keen to read more sweetheart(:



Author's Response: lolol I know, it's mutiny right? a gryffie writing her OC as a Slytherin?? lolol don't worry, she has a soft side too. (psst, she's also in my novel ;) lol )

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Review #11, by Moonyxluna Going Out, With Sirius Black

30th March 2012:
So, this is my 300th review given, and I'm so happy it got to be on such a captivating piece of writing.

The way you write Sirius is amazing. I feel right there with his character in everything he does. I love the way you write him with Cora, he's so sweet how he's a bit intimidated by her. I think that's exactly the kind of girl Sirius needs :)

The scene in the club was fantastic, I just want to high five Cora for that kick! ;P Their moments in the bedroom were so beautifully written; all the love was there and it really showed through your writing. Brilliant work!

Awh, and the stuff about him being a father! I'm so mad at Bellatrix Lestrange right now! He could have been so happy! heart wrenching stuff, dear.

okay, so I know I say this every time, but ohmygod the way you include canon details! I actually pulled out my copy of goblet of fire to read the bit about Harry's fourteenth birthday, because I swore I remembered the bit about Sirius sending a tropical bird!

I really loved this chapter. Brilliant work! I noticed the pang of bittersweet at the end with his realization that people there could still know him (the guy from school with him). I don't want there to only be one chapter left! Fantastic job!

Author's Response: I'm sorry, I didn't realize this didn't get responded to :(
Thank you so much for giving me your 300th review! It means a lot.
I'm so happy you like how I did his character and Cora, I didn't think he'd really fall for anything less than her. I LOVE the club scene :D It was really fun to write.
I'm glad you liked the bedroom scene. I can see now why people say it can be hard to write, but I think it paid off :)
yes What Means Most really connects with this story in a big way, I'm glad you read that and this now. lol I know! I had to do something with that, where he was when he sent it.
Glad you loved it hun, it means a lot :)

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Review #12, by Moonyxluna On the run With Sirius Black

30th March 2012:
Oh my god, Fang! Have I ever told you your little details are brilliant?

well that's brilliant. That should be canon! It's amazing. I love it.

ooouh, it's the introduction of Cora! I love what you've done with her personallity! She's so snippy, it'll be a lovely match to go with Sirius. haha! I loved the drunken word vomit from our lovely Sirius. It caused Cora to stumble a bit, so that was brilliant. He does have a bit of his old charm, doesn't he? :p

hmm, favorite part.. "If you ever want children you'll stop looking at me like that." It's brilliant, because of James Sirius! (in What Means Most)

lovely chapter dear! I love the way this is fanning out! fantastic work (as always!)

Author's Response: lololol :D I didn't even think of that with Sirius James and that line :P
Yes, they are quite perfect together :)
Yes, Fang was awesome! My mom kinda helped a little with that idea, she said I should do one where Hagrid gets Fang :) I might someday.
one of my favorite parts was with Buckbeak Sirius calling him a traitor lol :)
Glad you loved it! I try to make things as Canon as possible, even when they aren't. lol :) Thanks for another lovely review!! I absolutely adore them!

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Review #13, by Moonyxluna Prologue with Sirius Black

29th March 2012:
Seriously! (waitwait, siriusly :p) This was fantastic. I think you grasped Sirius' personality so perfectly. The beginning bit about the dementors not taking his 'truth' was so beautifully written.

Oh my god, and this --> "I yell for her to shut the bloody hell up, I've even started some of the other prisoners do the same." haha! Way to go for bellatrix being there! I didn't even think about that when Sirius was in azkaban that bella would be with him, but I think that little mention was so lovely.

okay, brilliant, introducing the ministry visits, and how he got ahold of the paper with the Weasleys and Peter's pictures. And I LOVED the prewett twins referance! haha.. and tricking Percy :p Oh Fred and George, even in newspaper form I love you dearly!

James telling Petunia she looked like a horse about to give birth. That's just.. the greatest thing ever. It's so perfect in the bit we know about his character!

I wish I didn't have to go to work so I could read more!

Author's Response: aww I wish you didn't have to either lol we should all get paid to read and review each other :D
lololol I'd kinda forgotten about those! the great thing about your reviews are that I get more proud of what I've written, and remember the talent I have. Thank you!
lolol I don't know what made me think about the petunia looking like a horse giving birth... :P but very funny :D
Thank you so much!!

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Review #14, by Elenia When Things Go Badly, With Sirius Black

24th March 2012:
Heey, I'm here again, back for the last chapter (:

I really liked the part in Spain, that was very good and action filled, fit well with the previous chapters. But I'm a bit uncertain about the ending. I don't know, it just felt a bit sudden. I would've wanted to see what happened during the time between those two events, get to know what he was feeling. So I'd maybe try adding something there?

Other than that, I really liked your story, you've done a good job here. You're a good writer!

Take care and thanks for the swap (:


Author's Response: boo, I'm re-responding. I hit the wrong button and it disappeared :( anyway, I've been thinking of making this into a Novel, there's been quite a few people wanting more details lol.
Love your story too, I'll have to go back and review the last chapter :)
Thanks soo much for reviewing!

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Review #15, by Elenia Going Out, With Sirius Black

24th March 2012:
Another good chapter!

I like your Sirius, he seems real and in character, great work on him. And Cora, she's lovely, I can see why Sirius fell for her so quickly and passionately.

Your plot is running on nicely, seems interesting and I can't wait to read more. I think, with your writing, you could easily expand this even more (:

There were a lot less spelling errors on this one, only a few small ones.

Great work, I'm really enjoying this (:


Author's Response: I'm so happy :D
I'm glad you like Cora, she's my favorite. I can really see why people love their OC's lol They can make them whoever they want to be.
Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #16, by Elenia On the run With Sirius Black

24th March 2012:
Heey, I decided to start my reviewing from this chapter already (:

wow, I really like your story. The first chapter was very good, and the plot seems to be interesting. I liked your Sirius. He seemed to be in character, so good work there.

The flow is good I think. Few spelling errors here and there but nothing major, another read-through will fix those I'm sure (:

Pacing was maybe a bit fast. I would have wanted to know more what happened between the years he escaped Azkaban and ended up in Spain, but it didn't really bother me that much! Just a suggestion (:

Great work though, I'll continue reading now (:


Author's Response: Thanks so much! lol my heart jumped a little seeing more reviews lol
I'm glad you liked Sirius :) being in character is really important to me so I appreciate it :)

Yeah, I'm considering making the story longer at some point, that the only reason I didn't list it as completed.
Thanks for reviewing!! :)

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Review #17, by cupcake_addict Prologue with Sirius Black

8th March 2012:
Wow, this is great! I really want you to continue this. I like your writing style; it's very beautiful, and it made me really get into story. This story is becoming something amazing, and I can't wait for the next update. I think you captured Sirius really well in this piece, and I haven't read a lot of fanfiction that included characters from the Marauders Era. I'm on to read the next chapter. 10/10, and keep on writing ;*

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad you like it! Since this was my first story, and I really haven't edited it very much, just breaking it down, I've very surprised you like it so much :)
I'll update this as soon as my chapter from my novel gets validated :) should be within the week.
Thanks for reviewing, and the 10/10! :D

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Review #18, by The Last Marauder On the run With Sirius Black

3rd March 2012:
Well, I was slightly surprised when I saw that you had a chapter two in this.. because when I added it to my favourites it was only a one-shot. So I was surprised. I loved your one-shot so much, I really did. I am very happy you are fleshing it out and making it longer; but I think since you are doing that you should fill in a few holes a bit more. I mean we go straight from Sirius's escape to him in Flitwick's office, why not do a few chapters in between, about Sirius seeing Harry in Privet Drive, about Sirius sneaking into Hogwarts, befriending Crookshanks and seeing Remus again after all this time? I think that will really make this story very interesting. I mean if you are going to expand it out why not go the whole hog and do that? Add in a few more moments so it seems a little less fragmented? It's just a suggestion, you don't have to listen to me at all. I just really loved your one-shot and I think that if you are expanding it you really should go for it, it's your story take it and just run, you have the writing ability,and you come up with very clever/interesting/enjoyable story-lines, I know you can do it! Fill in more holes, show us more sides to Sirius we didn't get to see in the books! It's your story, just take it and really go for it, give the reader everything you've got and I just know that whoever is reading it will really enjoy it. You have it in you! :)

Anyway, all that aside, as with the original one-shot I LOVE how you characterised Sirius here, it's spot on and just great to read, well done. :)

Author's Response: wow, you are so sweet!
I probably will flesh it out as you said, but first I'd like to just break it up a little so people aren't too overwhelmed with how big it was. 7000 words was waay too big for a one shot, but yeah, since I'm breaking it down anyway I'll probably add more. I'm so glad to have your support on it! I love this story since it was the first one I'd finished, but now it's time to amp it up. you know, when I have a chance.
I do have to tell you though that What Means Most which is Post War has more Cora in it, and more holes I've hopefully filled gaps and will fill more as I go.
Thank you so much for the wonderful ideas, and really, thank you for the support! This review is absolutely awesome, 'cause it's not just about the story, it encourages me to do my best :D Thank you!

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Review #19, by CambAngst Prologue with Sirius Black

5th December 2011:
I just tagged you from the Review the Person Above You thread, and I'm glad I did. Very clever story. I like the way you told the story. It all sounds very in-character for Sirius. The details of his life in Azkaban were very believable, if a bit depressing. I especially enjoyed the reference to his dear cousin Bella.

I did notice a few small typos. I think the sentence where he's convinced the other prisoners to tell Bella to shut up should read "...the other prisoners **doing** the same." You're missing a beginning quotation mark in the paragraph that opens with "Oh yes, I've already read it."

The reference to Arthur Weasley winning the sweepstakes was a terrific idea. That paragraph was a little long and awkwardly worded, however. It became a hard to follow in places. I also felt like the next paragraph read awkwardly because there wasn't a good indication of how much time passed between the Minister's departure and Sirius's escape.

Overall, this was a great start. Looking forward to seeing more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for being so detailed. I really appreciate things like that, it makes all our writing better doesn't it?
I never thought putting in that part with Bella would be so popular lol. Honestly it just came on a whim :P
I'm glad you liked the idea of referencing the sweepstakes, it's also very canon, when Sirius was telling Remus, Hermione, Harry and Ron how he escaped, it was how he found out where Peter was.
I'm currently working on editing the next chapter, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #20, by Cassius Alcinder Prologue with Sirius Black

3rd December 2011:
So this was a very interesting look at a time in Sirius' life that is often underloved in fanfics.

You did a really good job with his characterization and keeping him perfectly in canon. You really captured his motivations and emotions during his years of confinement.

I think what really makes this story effective is the attention you paid to the canon details. For one thing, Corelius Fudge, not a very likable character, was portrayed perfectly. You also effectively incorporated some detail we know from the books, like the part about the Weasleys.

This story definetely has potential.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This whole story had originally been a one shot, so it's actually fun to have broken it down so I can see readers opinion piece by piece. I'll try to get the rest out when possible, I have a million things to do it seems lol :) all good fun, but a lot.
Thank you so much for the review!!

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Review #21, by Cleopatraa Prologue with Sirius Black

24th October 2011:
Seeing Iím really fond of the character Sirius ( like most girls here probably are) I choose to read this one. I thought this very well written and that you choose an original idea to work on. It isnít like most Sirius fics but Iím sure you are aware of this ( I mean it in a good way) I thought some parts were a little rushed including the end. I like the fact you made her Marlene McKinnonís cousin I personally love canonly stuff and JK Rowling created a whole world so itís nice to see you made use of family members of characters in that world ( even if you made them up) Also it's so good to read this and think that Sirius met someone he loved during his time in exile. I mean Iím glad he loved even if ti was short ( even though he didnít get his happy end with her Iím still happy he did get some happy moments in the last years of his life)
-Trick or Treat from Slytherin House

Author's Response: Oh, gosh, I hadn't realized I didn't respond to your review! 'cause I really appreciate it :) I think I'll probably do some editing to the story at some point and make it into a couple chapters rather than one really long one. I'm really glad you liked the link to Marlene, all in all, I don't think she really gets much attention which is surprising since Voldemort wiped out her whole family! It makes you wonder why? I know they were prolly all in the order, but they must have done something wrong in particular for them all to get killed. you know, except Cora :) There's more on her in my Novel What means most just in case you're ever interested. But Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'm sorry again about not responding for so long :( Happy thanksgiving! (you know, if you're in the states lol)

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Review #22, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Prologue with Sirius Black

13th October 2011:
That was awesome! I love how it is from his point of view. And I loved how you added what might have happened during that missing time from the original timeline. Priceless!! No wonder this won first place! congrats!!


Author's Response: Awww Huge smiles!!! :D I'm sooo glad you liked it! I love thinking about what could be happening in the missing moments. This was my first idea for a story, I've since edited, but not too much. I'll prolly make it into a couple chapters sometime soon, but I'm so glad to know you like it as is! :)

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Review #23, by bri_5_stars Prologue with Sirius Black

7th October 2011:
Omgosh! I loved this one so much! Sirius' commentary was very entertaining. And the characters portrayal as well. The only thing I would change about it would be splitting it into two parts, because it is a little bit to read all at once. That said, I do like how it spans through a lot of the important movies since the books in his life. Yet another good job!

Author's Response: lol I wasn't expecting you to have reviewed this one, but I'm sooo glad you did!! I thought you were gonna read the 2nd chapter of the last one or something :P I would have split it into 2 parts if the contest I wanted it to enter in wasn't 1 shot only lol I was doing it for decade of legends. Thanks soo much, I'm glad you liked the characters. If you liked Cora she appears in chap 4 of the story you reviewed, but that's all I'll say lol. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #24, by academica Prologue with Sirius Black

26th July 2011:
Hey there! This is academica with your review :)

This was very well done. It provided a rather insightful look into the details of Sirius's final years, and I can appreciate the effort you put into including small details, i.e. having Sirius think about checking the Dursleys for Harry because of what Hagrid said to him all those years ago.

You asked me about your characterization of Greg. From the brief mention of him, he seemed like a typical vengeful ex-boyfriend. Cora's characterization bothered me a little bit, though; it seemed like you rushed the relationship somewhat in order to make it fit into a one-shot. That's just my opinion, though.

The story was very interesting and I'm impressed by your ability to stick to canon Sirius. The one other thing I would recommend is that you look into getting a beta; I noticed a few small technical errors, like problems with commas and capitalization in the wrong place, and a beta could help you with those little things that make the flow of a story just that much smoother.

Great job, and thanks for requesting a review! I hope my comments are helpful :)


Author's Response: yay! thank you for the lovely review. Yeah, it was hard not to make things seem rushed because it was a one-shot. The point I was trying to get across was that they weren't going to have a slow relationship because Sirius didn't have a lot of time to be there before someone caught him. I was looking over the story today too and saw those errors, not something I wouldn't be able to fix, just need the time to fix them. I'm very proud that you liked the detail I tried putting in, unfortunately it's hard to do that and have a smaller story lol :P
Thanks for the review again, I'm proud to have been your 200th :) congrats too by the way!
you were very helpful thanks,

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Review #25, by DemetersChild Prologue with Sirius Black

26th May 2011:
This is really wonderful. I never thought about what was going on with Sirius while he was on the run. I suppose I just assumed he kept himself hidden and Buckbeak was his only companion.

As much of a rap as Sirius gets for being a lady's man he never really got the chance to fall in love or have a family. It was really nice to see him get to find someone that loves him just for him.

I can't see why people think it's too short. This would be really nice as a multi-chaptered fic! There's just so much more that could be written about it. But it's really nice as it is, anyway. :)

Magically Yours,


Author's Response: hahahaha I can't either, I just think they wish it was multi chaptered, but it was supposed to be a one shot for the decade of legends competition. There's more about Cora in What means most if you're ever interested, but I'm so pleased you really liked it. I also thought, as much as Sirius might have been a lady's man, it can't have just come back to him after being in Azkaban all those years. That's why I made him slightly flounder a little. I'm so happy you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

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