It's was the most beautiful chapter in a story I have ever read! It was so sweet and romantic!Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm so glad that you liked it. Report Review
OKAY, FIRST OFF, EXTREME, REALLY, REALLY ENORMOUS APOLOGIES FOR GETTING TO YOUR REVIEW SO EXTREMELY LATE!!!
And secondly.. I really enjoyed reading this fic! If I'm not mistaken, it's your first fic, and wow.. For a first fic this is really amazing. I adored the idea/plot of your story! I have to say I haven't yet read about Remus/Tonks' first date, or their marriage, let alone both in one chapter! :P So it was definitely great!
Your writing is quite good! I liked all the dialogue, and the descriptions, feelings, emotions were great! I felt that your writing got better as you went through the piece - maybe do a proofread? I found a few mistakes, but nothing that big. A beta might help make this really amazing and improving the little mistakes would really give this fic the 'wow' quality.
I loved Remus' secret garden, a really clever idea! I loved his tree at the end! And the carvings on the tree really finished off the piece brilliantly. I loved the inscribings!
The characterisation of Remus/Tonks/Dobby felt a little off at times, maybe even a bit awkward (like with Remus here: "Very good Dobby, Very good indeed. You have done an excellent job, done just what I wanted." it doesn't sound like something Remus would say). For the most part though, you captured their main personality really well. I loved the bit with Tonk's hair, it was really good to include that!
All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable read! Thank you for participating in my challenge! And once again, sorry for the late review! A really lovely fic! :D
-CharlotteAuthor's Response: Thanks for the great review. I'm glad that you liked it. I appreciate all your comments and the suggestion of a beta, thanks again. Report Review
For a first story, this is really good! You seemed to capture Tonks and Remus really well. The writing is a bit simple, but I think that this will get better the more that you write...
Really, really good job for your first!Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm so glad that you felt I captured them so well. I love to write theTonks/Remus ship Their story is so touching and so real in a close to real life aspect due to their relationship conflict. It's nice cuz it's not a fairy tale from beginning to end. Simple is my style of writing, but it also depends on what I'm writing and the message I am trying to convey. Thanks again for the review and comments. I will be reviewing for you very soon. Will trade reviews any time just ask:) Report Review
This was cute! Tonks and Remus were very in character. They were both so nervous and awkward because they were finally allowing themselves to begin a romantic relationship and didn't exactly know how to act now. Very sweet. This was an adorable Valentine's one-shot. :) Tonks + Remus = perfect for each other.
:)Author's Response: Thanks for the great review, I'm so glad you were able to get out of it what I was trying to convey. That's exactly what I was going for. Thanks again for the trade and I will be reviewing yours very soon. Report Review
OMG, this was so sweet!!! I had teary eyes, because i could just imainge him writing Teddy's birth on there but then him not being able to write anything else like Teddy's first steps... *wells up* ok I am done promise:-).
Btw loved the fact that Tonks has the ability to change anyway that she wants and she is still un happy with her appearance lol.
Great Story Enjoyed it:-)
Silverstarletworld89 Report Review
Heyo! Ellerina here from the Forums for a review trade (perhaps?).
I thought the idea behind this was adorable! What an awesome Valentine's Day! I could completely sympathize with Tonks as she was trying to get ready for their date. I usually go through about 3 outfits just getting ready for school, haha.
I also thought the way you expressed the conflict that Remus had gone through with their relationship. It certainly wasn't an easy journey on any level, was it? And if any character could pull off something as romantic as the garden scene here, it would be Remus.
I think that for your first story on the archives this was great! There were a few issues with commas (don't worry, I often over-used/abuse them. It's my weakness, haha), but I think perhaps reading it out loud would help with knowing exactly where you want the pauses to be.
All in all, good job!Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, Yes I am a bit comma addicted, Ha Ha! I will be reading and reviewing for you over the next couple of days. Thanks again Report Review
o! this was so sweeet! i like how tonks thinks and how she's all nervous and the fact that their first date was on valentine's day :D and Rainbow hill? awesome! i love how he showed her his tree and then they kissed! love love love!Author's Response: Thanks for the great review. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. i will be reviewing yours today. Report Review
Fluff! ^_^, this was very good for your first fiction. You have some remarkable use of description at some points, then on some other ones it seems to be lacking. Just going through and adding a few details here and there so the dialog doesnt outrun it story. I one-shots get easier over time and the description becomes second nature keep up the great writing, cant wait too see your archive fill up!! ^_^
xxJessAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review, I appreciate all your suggestions and comments. I too am excited about watching my archive fill up. Thanks again, for the review trade. Report Review
Hello! This is TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, with your requested review. I am honored to hear Jess thinks I am 'great and honest' as I rather think I'm not that great a reviewer at all. ^^ I shall do my best!
I thought this story was so cute! Strangely enough, I've never before read a Tonks/Remus that deals with the proposal - perhaps I just overlook them. =] Yours was so very cute, and I thought it was a very touching and realistic way for Remus to propose to her.
You have a very nice and simple style of writing that makes it easy for the reader to understand and engage with what is going on in the story - you don't try to beat around bushes, which is nice. =]
Grammar and punctuation are all good - perhaps a few minor mistakes here and there, but surely nothing you should trouble yourself too greatly over. ^^ The only other thing I might suggest is removing the indents, as stories here are formatted so they don't really need indents. =]
I thought this was a very good story, especially for your first! Very well done! Thanks for the request! ^^Author's Response: Thank you a appreciate all that you said! :) Jess was right you are amazing (btw its Jess being her scribe ;) ) hehehe i will defiantly be back for more!! Report Review
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