Reading Reviews for A Crisis of Conscience
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LadyMalfoy23 The Line you can't cross.

17th February 2011:
Hm, this is interesting! lol Im here with the review you requested! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you but as due to RL i have been very busy!! And im extremly sorry.

Now on to the review. All in all i found this to be a very interesting story. I have never read a story like this and it was different that is for sure. I think that in some areas it seemed to drag on and have some unnecisarry details that distracted me from the initial plot. Also, im not sure if you meant it to be this way, but you seem to have the timeline all out of wack here. Its just a pet peeve of mine, and if that was how you meant it to be then just ignore that!! ^_^ hehe

All in all i really did enjoy your story. The characterization was wonderful and the ential story in itseld was great!! Good job!!

Jess xx

Author's Response: Yeah, The time line is out of whack, hence the AU warning in the summary. I want to rewrite it at some point, but haven't had the time.

I wasn't sure other than the canon issues where I needed to tweak things. I was trying very hard to keep it in the challenge space of just one day.

Thanks for coming to look it over! I've got some better ideas of what to work on now. :)


 Report Review

Review #2, by CessZ The Line you can't cross.

10th February 2011:
WOW!!
That was amazing. The feelings, the drama and even the emotions are well dealt with. The threat hanging over their heads and how she deals with it is amazing.

There are a few grammatical errors. Just minor ones, so if you just correct them the story is well to go! :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I wandered a bit from canon on the time line, but it just made the story work so much better. It was a rough piece to write, but I'm kind of proud of how it turned out. :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Toujours Padfoot The Line you can't cross.

9th February 2011:
Hello! Toujours Padfoot from the forums here for your requested review.

You breathed a lot of life into Charity's character. We didn't know much about her, and it was intriguing to see her personality mapped out. I especially like the romance bit with Filius - I've never seen a romantic relationship with Flitwick alluded to in any other fanfics. It was a break from the norm, and I liked it. :)

Alrighty, constructive criticism. I'm not sure if you meant to go a bit AU, but there are some canon discrepancies here that you might want to have a look over. Charity wrote that article for The Daily Prophet in the summer after Harry's 6th year. She was taken away and killed before school started and before Snape was made headmaster. Remember that all of the teachers thought that Snape had killed Dumbledore, and they loathed him. They were very cold to him, and he was cold in return to maintain the guise of a Death Eater. The last time Charity saw Snape after Harry's sixth year ended, it was when she was hanging above the Malfoy's table just before Voldemort killed her. Alecto Carrow was the Muggle Studies teacher since the beginning of what was supposed to be Harry's seventh year. You might want to check the Lexicon for some help on this one, or add an author's note at the beginning of the story stating that you went a bit AU, so that these canon changes are disregarded and don't distract the reader.

Other than that, I did enjoy reading it. I really thought her relationship with Flitwick was sweet. And I admire her passion for defending Muggles and her students. Charity was a very minor character, but she died because of what she believed in. You gave her a lot of depth, and I really felt her frustration for what was going on. :)

~Toujours Padfoot

Author's Response: Yeah, I realized that I screwed up the timeline after I wrote it, but it felt so right. I couldn't bring myself to change it. I've always loved Flitwick's character. He just seems to be a bit neglected. He's not even listed in the character boxes you can select for a story's main character!
I'll have to add an Author's Note until I can sit down and figure out how to make it fit canon without losing the feel. Thanks so much for the helpful review! :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by Pheonixfire73 The Line you can't cross.

9th February 2011:
Wow, What a riveting, emotion laden and heartfelt story. I loved so much about it I hardly know where to begin. The only things that I would say that I found are a few grammar errors for instance you use the word meet where I think met is the word that should have been used, and a few left out words here and there, but who of us had not done that, right? Guilty of that myself, so far be it from me to judge you on that, just thought you might like to know in case you wanted to you wanted to read over it and correct these. Ok, back on the good. I like how you integrated the romantic interest between Charity and Fil, it flowed well, in fact the whole story seemed to flow well until I reached the letter, at parts it seemed a bit repetitive, but I believe you used that to get the emotion and urgency of her message across. All in all I really liked it a lot, and am looking forward to more chapters. Good Job !!!

Author's Response: I have a really bad habit of rushing ahead of my thoughts and forgetting to fill in the gaps. I'll have to go in and edit it. Charity and Filius just kind of got together on their own. It seemed so right that I just let them get on with it. ;D Thanks so much for looking this over. I already have some ideas on how to tighten things up. :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login