So I read this entire story before, but at the time I didn't really have the time to leave reviews. Do I have time now? Not exactly, but t'is the season and all that and also the story seriously deserves it!
I loved what you did with this chapter. It was a very insightful and believable look at Andromeda's life after Hogwarts. I really love the way that she's clearly only on the fringes of the Order at this point - I feel like you could have easily gone with her suddenly being this incredibly important person to the Order and being all about fighting Voldemort and risking her life, and I'm very glad you didn't. You're showing her as being forced into this role as fighting against Voldemort rather than seeking it out immediately, and I liked that.
It really shows how twisted and insane Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters are, and how much they hate blood traitors. A lot of people skim over that and just focus on pureblood/muggleborn, but it's clear in the books that being a blood traitor is just as bad as being muggleborn to a lot of them, and the fact that Bellatrix ambushed and tried to kill her sister really hammers that point in.
I also really liked the choice to make her a Healer. It allowed you to give us a really chilling account of what been going on in the world, and the way you segued beautifully from the scene in St. Mungo's to the attack really gave me a sense of who Andromeda is as a person these days. This is definitely my favorite depiction of a young Andromeda that I've ever read.
I also found the idea that Fabian didn't want David to join the Order for fear that Death Eaters would target him more to be absolutely fascinating. It's not something that I'd ever considered before, but you know, it makes perfect sense.
And the cliffhanger? Perfect.Author's Response: I appreciate that you took the time nonetheless :)
I always wondered what it must have been like for bloodtraitors/ wizards disowned by their families, and whether they wouldn't be targeted just because of it. The story was the perfect opportunity to follow up on that angle; and Andromeda's worse off with a sister like Bellatrix. I imagine as long as she ran free, there couldn't have been a peaceful moment for her.
And contrary to Sirius, who jumped right in the middle of the action, I picture Andromeda as someone who doesn't seek trouble, reacts rather than acts. I don't know why I made her a healer, but it just seemed the right profession for her, and the rest of the chapter kind of developed from that.
Thank you for the wonderful review (and, also, the story recommendation, I've only just seen!)
Hugs, Leo Report Review
I love this chapter and what a great start this is! I love your description as it was detailed but not boring and all the characters and words seem to fit in nicely like a giant puzzle. I noticed one or two spelling/grammar mistakes but apart from that, this is amazing! Merry Christmas,
SS xxAuthor's Response: Hey again!
It's nice getting reviews for older stories! I'm especially proud of this one, so thank you :D
Merry Christmas! Report Review
This was also a great chapter. I often get thrown by chapters that are a bit disjointed, as this one was, but it worked really well with the story you were trying to tell - it hit the important points and really gave me a sense of Andromeda and her friends without spending a lot of time on their schooling, and if you'd broken each section up into its own chapter and expanded on it, I think that it would have weakened the flow rather than strengthened it. Excellent job. :)Author's Response: The challenge also asked for no more than five chapters, otherwise I think I would have written more about her actual Hogwarts years; I was sure tempted. Even though, I was satisfied the way it turned out, and it's nice to hear you agree!
Thank you for the great feedback :)
P.S.: Did you get the dwarves reference? ;) Report Review
I loved this chapter. I'm a huge fan of fairy tales, and this was just such a seamless melding of Harry Potter and Snow White. I loved the way you portrayed Andromeda and her first encounter with Ted in particular, as well as Walburga's anger and jealousy. It adds such an interesting dimension to the Black family dynamic. :) Thank you for writing it.Author's Response: Well, thanks for commenting on it :D
I'm so glad to hear it worked out for you as intended, 'translating' the fairy-tale into the HarryPotterVerse as was the prerequisite for this challenge!
I loved writing it, and I'm now even prouder of this particular story - which is dear to me for various reasons, concerning my writing and RL-related matters to name only two.
Cheers, Andrea Report Review
Ahh, I was looking through my favorites and realized that I hadn't reviewed the last chapter of my favorite ted/Andromeda in the world, so here I am my dear! :D And I'll be making a few more stops on your page! :D This was really a wonderful end to a wonderful story. Your writing is so amazing, so vivid, and you have a way of capturing the characters emotions and everything about them that really makes me just in awe of you. The engagement scene was adorable and the wedding scene, so powerful! I really want to just go, "aww" as they end up dancing together even though so much is against them. Eee, this story makes me smile so much! Well done! :)
gingersnape, GryffindorAuthor's Response: Your favourite Ted/Andromeda? Aww, thanks, that's quite the compliment :D
I'm touched every time I read this review (I've had to read it more than once!) You really made my day.
I really feel for that pairing, you know? Especially seeing how Andromeda will loose everything, except for her grandson, one day. She deserves some happy memories.
'Pure' is the first story I could switch from WIP to Completed (even though it's only five chapters), and it'll always hold a special place in my heart, fanfic-wise.
Thank you so much for your amazing reviews, they mean a lot!
xox Leo Report Review
YAY! Ted was in this one and they got together! He is really doable in this story and his love for Andromeda is just amazing, so I am so happy he ended up getting Andormeda! :) For a short story covering pretty much all o her life up to this point, I'd say it didn't happen too quickly. For something longer, it might seem a bit sudden, but this was believable and definitly sweet! :)
My favorite scene had to be when Ted went to Narcissa and I liked that because it was just wonderful that they both would do that and so that is why it's my favorite scene! :)
Oh goodness, I can't believe that this is the last chapter and then there's the epilogue and it's done! Really wonderful story, and other than the occasional typo or tense mix up, this was a really well cone story and I am so sad for it to be almost over!
-AnnieAuthor's Response: I'll definitely need to do that edit now! Ted/Ted's POV doesn't appear too often, it's all about Andromeda really; it means all the more you think so!
I also like to think that Narcissa had more than just that one good moment in DH, and Andromeda is family after all.
Thanks so much for giving me some feedback :)
xxx Leo Report Review
Oooh, that's quite the cliffie! :) What could Sirius be doing wrong? Or is it possibly someone else under his name, as I wouldn't put it past any of the nastier members of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, but probably not! I will have to see when I get there, won't I? *dances* I really can't wait! :D
The healer training made me think about how Andromeda probably knew more about dark curses than any of her fellow healers, even if she did stay away from it, and I really liked how you brought that in there, as I had never thought of that before, even though it really would be necessary for someone with her knowledge to be there! :)
As for the attack, I am really curious about which sister hit her with the curse, though I have the sneaking suspicion it was Bellatrix, as she just seems like the more protective of the Black family name sister, but Narcissa has the cunningness to do that, so I am curious! :)
Another great chapter and I'm excited for Chapter 4,
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Hey again!
I can only begin to tell you how much I appreciate your reviews. My muse is currently having a field day ;)
And I guess you've already found out about Sirius, and who was behind the letter, haven't you? Anyway, thank you for your feedback!
xxx Leo Report Review
Hello again, I really liked this and thought the way you introduced all of the characters was really wonderful as they all seemed to need Andromeda as much as Andromeda need them, yet all of her boys were different! Julius had to be my favorite, and I liked how the boys didn't forgive her for calling him a "Mudblood" immediately after the incident, as it made it more realistic and highlighted how even Andromeda had people against her in the prejudiced world she was stuck in even though she was nice to people. Now that sounds obvious, but I think what I am saying is that Andromeda's supposedly at the top of everything and yet here she is a nice, albeit naive, person, and yet she still faces problems, so I really liked how everyone has their problems, but they all care deeply for each other by the end of it all. :)
I can't wait for more in Chapter 3,
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much :)
I wasn't sure about having all the different flashbacks; it all replayed before my eyes, but would I be able to let readers see that too or would it be too confusing, jumping back to her schoolyears, and showing how she developped through the years in this way? I always thought she must have changed some, coming from a family like the Blacks, to go and marry a Muggleborn.
So thank you for saying that, it really means a lot! xxx Leo Report Review
Oh goody! I absolutely love stories that focus on the Black family, with Andromeda in particular, and I believe I have come across a good one! (It's now in my favorites! :D) The Snow White allusions were all very mysterious and left me wanting more without it feeling like an in-you-face cliffie, but rather a building cliffhanger than developed with each sentence and then when the chapter ended, I felt empty and also very very glad there was more posted!:)
The mirror especially was really quite intriguing and I felt as though it set up the tension between Andromeda and Walburga very well. Another thing I liked was how you explored Cygnus and Druella, as they often feel forgotten and the fact that they played such a prominent role in the first part of the chapter was really wonderful, as it was something new for me to read and was really very well written!
I can't to scoot on over to Chapter 2 and I shall see you in your unanswered reviews box in just a minute,
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Hello there!
I'm so glad you think so! The Blacks intrigue me and I'm sure there's so much more stories to be explored. And I've always wanted to write something on them, although I had a hard time sticking to the five-chapter maximum stipulated for this challenge.
On the bright side, it's also the first WIP I set to 'completed'!
Thanks for that great review, and I look forward to the next :D Report Review
This was one of the most original and gripping story I have read. Congratulations.
I loved everything about this story and can do and say nothing else than Wow! Great work and such an amazing talent you have; please keep on sharing it with us!!
AkussaAuthor's Response: That really means a lot (Don't get to hear that very often!) Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
I just love your story (just favorited it by the way). The conversation between Ted and the rest of the gang was perfect. I could feel the emotion in all the characters; from Ted's anger and fear to the twins' sadness and helplessness.
I love your writting style and the emotional level this story holds. All characters and engaging and the storyline is gripping and got me on the edge of my seat.
The chapter flowed perfectly this time, I barely spotted any mistakes. Great work, just great, great work. Thank you for sharing your talent with us!
AkussaAuthor's Response: Wow, that's such a compliment! I am especially proud of this one, good to know you like it. Thanks so much for this review :) Report Review
Snow White has always been one of my favorite tale and the way you use it with this story is amazing. It feels effortless for you to keep the same feel of the tale and the same information as the tale and yet, use it subtely and originaly.
I enjoy yor characters a lot (by the way, last chapter I forgot to give you some kudos for the 7 dwarves !!) and particularily your Andromeda.
I found there were some spelling errors and typos in this chapter; you should check into that because it breaks the flow of the chapter, something that wasn't a problem in earlier chapters.
Overall, still a great and so, so original story.
AkussaAuthor's Response: Hi again!
I'm glad to hear you think so, especially since you like Snow White (it's one of my favourites too!)
And you picked up on the seven dwarves thing :) - not many did.
Apparently there's an edit in order, thanks for letting me know! And thank you for this review!
xxx Leo Report Review
What an amazingly original way to introduce your characters. I really, really enjoyed this chapter because it was different and made the story move forward in a different way.
I loved those hand-picked moments where every characters was introduced according to their own personality but also seeing Andromeda grow through the memories and come into her own.
I really enjoy your writing style, you keep the readers surprised and entertained with your originality, well done!
AkussaAuthor's Response: I needed to pack a lot into this chapter, given the five-chapter limit for this challenge, so it means all the more that you thought it worked! Andromeda's development was exactly what I wanted to show with this, and it's good to know I could pull it off :)
Thanks so much for this review!
xxx Leo Report Review
What an amazing first chapter! You've gotten me interested with your prose and characterization and detailing. This was a real pleasure to read.
I absolutly loved the parallel to Snow White; so fitting with the Blacks!
The characterization, like I said, was even better than what I could have imagined. Cygnus' perception and refletions was very well done. His vision of class and of his image seemed more than appropriate.
I can't wait to read more; this chapter flew by and I didn't notice any errors so great work! I greatly enjoyed this opening chapter!
AkussaAuthor's Response: Hello hun!
I seem to say this a lot, but this story was so much fun to write! At first, I had trouble picking a canon character for this, but Andromeda had most similarities to begin with, not much tweaking necessary.
Thank you for the lovely review :) Report Review
Congratulations! Wonderful story!! (applaud applaud) I enjoyed every bit of this :) I do have to say though, I'm not sure if you really needed to have the Blacks come and tell her that... I think they'd be too embarrassed to go anywhere near them actually. I do like that they got to shoot off spells at them to make her look funny :) I love the flashback too! :)
I would have liked to maybe see Sirius there, maybe he would have been in his 6th year by then and could go with James or something during the summer. Just a thought :)
like I said though, I love it!
Great job!Author's Response: It feels so repetitive, me always saying THANK YOU! It really means a lot, I hope you know that! Report Review
aww, it was absolutely perfect :) I had been kind of wondering why Ted never wrote anyone while in France though. Maybe he really was busy, but given how close everyone is, I think letters would have been nice to add. There was maybe one spelling mistake in this one, but nothing urgent.
I'm not really sure the whole antidote thing from Narcissa was really needed, but I'm kinda glad it's there to make her slightly more tolerable than the others anyway. I think the poison could have only had one antidote, which was a kiss, and he could have just done that anyway.
All in all, I think it was great though :)Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
Ah, yes, that's a nice thought, but I had so much to include in the story as it was that I didn't really think about adding letters from Ted. Defintely worth a thought, though! And yes, I wanted to show that Narcissa hadn't completely shunned her sister, but rather was going along with the flow.
Thanks again for your input! xxx Leo Report Review
Wow, are you an excellent writer or what?! You're totally keeping me at the edge of my seat here!! :) Plus mimicking snow white has been working so incredibly well, I can't believe it! This chapter there were a couple spelling mistakes. Might be something you want to fix someday when you're bored. But it didn't detract from the story at all.
I can't believe how great this story is!Author's Response: Oh, you're too kind :) Excellent? o.O
Thanks for letting me know, I'll have a look again regarding those spelling mistakes. I think I posted this in a hurry to make use of a short backlog. Report Review
Oh my gosh, I just realized that her 7 friends are supposed to be the dwarfs lol. I'm absolutely loving this story! You're doing such a great job with the flow of it, going from flashback to present to back again. It seems so natural. I think it helps that you segue into each break. I love how you also give each persons character just a little bit. Very interesting how she's friends with people from each house! I love that! I do feel sorry for her that she had no clue about what a bad word mudblood was... that's terrible. I'm glad she found people who ended up understanding later though. I think mentioning her sisters a little more would be slightly more realistic now that I think of it... but maybe they were waay too busy with their own stuff to be bothered. That seems likely too.
Great job!Author's Response: Oh, you're the first to pick up on the 7 boy friends/ dwarves thing :) I always thought, maybe Sirius had Andromeda and later his friends to tell him about such things, but what about Andromeda? Growing up in a family like the Blacks, how was she supposed to know better?
Thanks for reviewing again, you have no idea what that means to me! (Or maybe you do :P) Report Review
I think it's really funny that you're paralleling this to Snow white. I think it's a great idea. And who says there could be a mirror that can talk back to you like that? :) I really liked the writing, and how you had Dromeda look after Sirius. I thought that was really cute. I really like Ted, he seems a lot like Collin Creevy or something, maybe his brother, the way he fell in. You did the sorting well too, she seems the type who'd want to be in slytherin to make it easier for herself. You did a great job!Author's Response: This was the result of a challenge, and I had so much fun with it! The fairy-tale had to be worked into the magical world. At first, I tried other canon characters too, but Andromeda fit best.
Oh, and I liked Ted too, I was really tempted to write more than the given maximum of five chapters.
Thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
I love it so far. there was only one thing that i noticed was a bit off, i thought andromeda was sorted into a different house? im sure i read in the books somewhere that sirius and andromeda were the only blacks to not be in slytherin?Author's Response: Thank you :)
As for Andromeda's house, I don't really remember anything being mentioned about her house; and so I put her into Slytherin. I might be wrong though. Report Review
Aw I absolutely loved it, my dear. It was fabulous! Loved the "Pride and Prejudice" thing!!! I so know how you feel when you think wow, I finnally completed something, not really one of the things I can say. So best of luck to you in your next stories, because this one was great!Author's Response: Thank you for sticking with me :) and your feedback too! It's really appreciated! Report Review
Great chapter again, but just two litle things:
Wizards and Witches NEVER say Oh my God!
Ted Tonks liked to call Andromeda Dromeda instead of Andy.
But these are just little things. I think uou did a great job combining the Snow White story with the HP world.Author's Response: Thank you!
I think Ted is the only one saying 'Oh my God!', and as he's muggleborn, I thought I could get away with it. It would be odd for a pureblood, you're right there!
Really glad you liked it so far :D Report Review
Wow Leo! This is amazing so far it's just so gripping I liked the letter twist too it tied in so well. The description was in depth though the characterisation could have been developed a smidge more. The plot is getting better and better- can't wait to see what happens next,
LpF123 xAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your sweet review :D
So glad you liked it, the story just seemed to develop itself! And the next chapter should be up soon! xxx Leo Report Review
I honestly REALLY like your story! I turned out better than I had hoped for. I will read the next chapter now!Author's Response: Thank you! So glad you like it; I know I had so much fun writing it, it was easy to work with the fairytale I got :) xxx Leo Report Review
I LOVE IT!!! Update soon! It's a really good story, just a little confusing. I think in the begning of the story you should introduce the characters a little bit better but thats just me. But, other then that it's really good.
Kenzie Black(:Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, it's very much appreciated! Glad you liked it, next chapter is in the queue already :) Report Review
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