Great! It's like portraying the public of this world now. How they admire one person, then get bored and spread rumours, like poison... And how they stick their big greasy noses into other people's business.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And it's funny that you should mention that- it's what I was thinking about when I was writing the story. It's an interesting comparison, right? Report Review
I wonder how many people who read this can compare whats happening, to their own lifes? A well written one shot. And I would not change to much as to much info can ruin it. 10/10.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I have to admit, I haven't thought about "The Man"'s compatability with ordinary lives (I more had celebrities in mind) but yes, I can definitely see where you're going with this. As well, I'm glad you think that adding more information would ruin it- I currently feel the same way. Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
Hi! leannemariesnape with your review!
I actually really enjoyed this! I had reservations when I saw in your request how short the story was, but you thoroughly changed my mind. You gave it a mysterious air, and it was if we were watching Harry from a distance.
I think that it is totally believable, as we know from the Rita Skeeter and the Prophet articles in the book that Harry doesn't handle publicity well at all. I think that he probably would just crumble.
You also portray how fickle fame can be- one second he was a hero, the next second, he was nothing. Very good.
I can't really find anything to say to improve. I know some people might say it needs to be longer and have more detail, but I like the detatched mysterious style of the story.
Very good ^_^
leanneAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for responding so quickly.
It's kind of funny- I was orginally thinking of this for an english short story assignment before I realized how well it could (and does) suit Harry Potter.
I was trying to give it a (not exactly mysterious, but a good word too) distant air, almost like it's being viewed from afar. I'm glad that came across well.
I don't think I could lengthen the story by much anyways- I've already tried and it didn't seem to strengthen the story.
Thanks so much for your review! Report Review
Very interesting story! I absolutely loved reading it. It was short yet had so much detail to it. The information wasn't too crowded like it is in some one-shots. You let the readers think about the situation, yet set your ideas up as well. That's a very good technique you used there. This was a great read and I needed a good story like this to read. It's hard to come across good one shots but you've proved to the fanfiction world that it is possible. You've done this not only one either which is great! You're an incredible writer with much talent and I hope to see more work from you in the future! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked it- I was trying not to give too much information. Report Review
Yes, I think that is what it was missing, was some emotion, but maybe that is what you wanted-it almost was sad, but just slightly missed it for me. But the story was well written.Author's Response: Thank-you. I was going for the more detached sense. Report Review
sad. But very good. 10/10 I liked it.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you like it. Report Review
it was interesting, but seemed to be missing something.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. What do you think it's missing? Emotion and detail in some parts? Report Review
I really enjoyed this, definitely one of the most interesting stories I've read in quite some time. What an absolutely fascinating idea! That summary was just so eye-catching "He was a hero. Now, he was nothing."
It all felt so true, a very realistic take on post-war Harry - of course his life would be changed forever by what he'd done, and the pressure, expectations and media attention would be so huge I wouldn't blame him for wanting to disappear.
Even though this was so short and it wasn't even from his point of view, Harry's character really shone out - after all, in canon he is fairly reserved in his way, not exactly the life and soul of the party, and while I'm not saying he'd crumble under that kind of attention, I'm sure he would be desperate to escape it, because after all, all he's ever really wanted is a normal life.
I love love loved that this was in first person (or sort of was, anyway xD). The sense of detachment from Harry, the idea that this person telling the story was completely unconnected with him and didn't even care that much about him but was simply a little curious - really brilliant. Or have I got this all wrong? Was the 'I' in question Harry after all, Harry having run away and wanting to detach himself from his old life, looking back on it as a spectator rather than the one living it? (I may be overanalysing this - I've just come from an english lit lesson, in my defence :P) Either way, it was a great choice of style and extremely effective.
I do, however, think that you could have gone further with this. I did love this so it does actually pain me to be critical, but I think it's only fair to you that if I think you could improve it then I make suggestions about how to do so, because while this is a great story now, it could be an absolutely brilliant one. I think you could have pushed the idea more - in places it felt sort of like the bare bones of a story, largely purely narrative and explanatory. Because of this it also felt a little rushed. There could have been more detail, in my opinion, more description, more emotional depth. It could have more poignant to see our hero reduced to this, could have had more impact and been more powerful.
Overall though, BRILLIANT story, fascinating idea, and well executed. Great job! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. Thanks especially for the criticism- I will go back and look over this story again. Report Review
Interesting. I liked it. 8/10Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
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