239 Reviews Found

Review #1, by suzwester Back to Diagon Alley

19th August 2014:
A few chapters in and I'm really liking this story. Best FF I have read to date!

Author's Response: suzwester,

Thank you very much. I hope you will continue to enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #2, by Jennyfersuper Finding the Future

18th August 2014:
I just read this entire story through in a little under 48 hours, so to say I enjoyed it is a bit of an under-statement. I really loved the premise of this novel. I was looking for something post-war and you incorporated the two things I was most wanting to read which was another year at Hogwarts for the group and finding Hermione's parents. I loved that it was not overly dark and focused on the healing process they went through and how the characters found a purpose for their lives and with each other. I loved the Chinese Book, your imagination shined through this and the details showed how well thought out the story was for you. I found it to be a fluid read, it was a little bit too detailed in some parts, but that did not take away from the flow of the storyline. I also really loved how there were no easy-outs for the group. Getting to Hermione's parents took planning and considerable work on the groups part and lead to their fuller understanding of the muggle world and how that world could very well impact them in the future. Excellent job! I hope to see a sequel from you in the future or even a new unique story as you are a superb story-teller. Thank you for taking the time to write out this marvelous bit of your imagination!

Author's Response: Jennyfersuper,

Thank you, thank you, I am honored to receive such a review. I'm guessing that having finished JKR's wonderful novels, we both wanted to know these characters we had grown to love a bit longer, and to see them make their way to a well-earned and happy life.

I am working on a sequel, it is going slowly because summers where I live are extremely busy with farm work. I hope to start posting this fall.

Again thank you.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #3, by ARLENE Finding the Future

30th July 2014:
Fantastic loved every word waiting for the next chapters

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm working on something but earning a living keeps getting in the way of my hobby and I have nothing done.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #4, by Amy A Real Non Sequiter

30th July 2014:
I have no idea what prompted that conversation. Why the lecture when nothing was happening? None of the four were even talking about marriage. They already wanted to do so many things that surely did not involve marriage. So there is a huge disconnect.

Not that the conversation didn't flow. It seemed intrusive and pointless. The tirade Arthur started had no connection with the rest of it. And anyone intruding in a young couple's relationship would not be met with such easy conversation.

Overall though, I like your writing and the thought you put into it. But this chapter was a bit disjointed, especially when Molly started talking about postponing getting married. WHERE did that come from? Nowhere!

Author's Response: Amy,

I get your issue. The idea is that Molly and Arthur have been watching the two couples, and know that at the rate snogging is going, it will be well past snogging soon. Molly was sure in the first chapter that they should go back to school, keep the snogging snogging for a school year, and Arthur agrees for a slightly different reason. He sees the edge the war has put to their magic and how powerful they're likely to be, and he knows his daughter is a risk taker. So he wants the four trained, to know as much as they can because he and Kingsley are already talking about getting the four into the ministry.

The chapter idea was that neither Arthur nor Molly could wait, they had to have their say, and soon, so they took a topic not really too related to start the conversation they wanted too much to wait for.

I can see where this could not come off in the chapter as it is written. I am working on something else but with think what I could do with the chapter. Thank you for you critique.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #5, by tojousPur Return to the Ministry

20th July 2014:
boring...learn to write better

Author's Response: Thank you, I'll keep working at it.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #6, by Involuntarymuggle Finding the Future

23rd June 2014:
This was a marvelous story. A very unique take on what happened after the war. The characters were well thought out, each following the blueprint created by their creator, yet changing into how you envisioned them. While there were some confusing parts and spelling errors, the story itself shined through. A truly magical take on a magical world. I congratulate you on your work and your writing. It was truly a joy to read.

Author's Response: Thank you very much Involuntarymuggle. I'm slowly getting at fixing the proofing. Thank you for taking the time to review, it is welcome encouragement.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #7, by Andrew Mathieson Return to the Ministry

20th June 2014:
Good chapter but slight flaw as it was Harry not Dumbledore that destroyed the first horcrux Riddle's diary in the CoS. It was the way that the diary acted that caused Albus to suspect horcruxes. Enjoying your writing

Author's Response: Andrew,

Thank you for the catch; I've made the note and will fix this when I get a chance. Appreciate the help.

Hope you will continue to enjoy the story and thank you for taking the time to let me know.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #8, by harry_ginny4ev Finding the Future

30th March 2014:
Your story was good but I didn't like the plot.
Hermione is muggle-born and Harry lived with
muggles for somewhat the first eleven years of his
life. They already know about this muggle stuff, so
it shouldn't be portrayed as new to them.

Author's Response: See your identical review next in line. I figured to answer just once.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #9, by harry_ginny4ev Finding the Future

30th March 2014:
Your story was good but I didn't like the plot.
Hermione is muggle-born and Harry lived with
muggles for somewhat the first eleven years of his
life. They already know about this muggle stuff, so
it shouldn't be portrayed as new to them.

Author's Response: Maybe England is different but few American 11 year olds would know about Birth Certificates, Passports, banking, how to buy an airline ticket. Thanks for taking your time to review and I'm glad you found some of it good.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #10, by Rosh Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

9th December 2013:
This is amazingly accurate. I love this book (:

Author's Response: Thank you Rush, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #11, by Rosh Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

9th December 2013:
This is amazingly accurate. I love this book (:

Author's Response: Thank you Rush, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #12, by Pomfrey1983 Back to School

24th November 2013:
I think this is probably my favorite story so far. Usually I get bored with reading them by now but I think your writing is more intelligent than a lot of the others. Thanks.

Author's Response: Thank you very much.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #13, by dtinch Finding the Future

20th October 2013:
Great Story are you going to write another or even a sequel to this one. thanks for the good read.

Author's Response: Dtinch,

I've started another, but have a bit more to do to fix some problems with this one.

Thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed the story.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #14, by Larry hotter Chapter 2: Closing the Circle

23rd September 2013:
This chapter was one big reminiscence of all the books.
Loved it to bits. Especially the last two lines. :)

Really looking forward to read on.

Author's Response: Larry,

Again, thank you.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #15, by Larry Hotter Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

21st September 2013:
Excelent first chapter!
Looking forward to reading.

Author's Response: Thank you Larry,

I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #16, by Toms Pal Finding the Future

15th September 2013:
Very good story and very well written

Author's Response: Toms Pal,

Thank you very much.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #17, by Mackh Finding the Future

17th July 2013:
The further along I got into this book, the more I enjoyed it.
Bringing muggle police and aurors into one group was brilliant. Great job!

Author's Response: Mackh,

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #18, by potterfandamon Chapter 1: Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy

17th July 2013:
I love the stories that pick up where the books left off. Yours is one of the best I've read. I'm only halfway through it but I can't wait to continue.

Author's Response: potterfandamon,

Thank you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #19, by patronusflight14 Finding the Future

29th June 2013:
this is one of the most beautiful stories i have ever read!! you should definitley write a sequel!

Author's Response: patronusflight14,

Thank you very much. I've got some more corrections to make and four more chapters for a final edit, then I will figure out what is next.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #20, by 6574 The Chinese Book

6th June 2013:
The Weasleys weren't original members of the order. The joined after Voldemort's rebirth in GoF.

Author's Response: Yes, I'll check where I need to fix this. Thank you,

Bill


 Report Review

Review #21, by JDH Pirate Gold

4th June 2013:
I don't understand the part when they talk about how old Molly and Arthur were when they got Ron. You say Molly was 37, and by that Ginny understands that Molly was 18 when she had Bill. This is impossible though, because that would mean that Bill is 19 years older than Ron.

I like your story though, very nice writing.

Author's Response: JDH,

I checked dates with Harry Potter Wiki.

Molly is bon in1949, attends Hogwarts 1961 to 1968

Bill is born Nov. 29, 1970, attends Hogwarts 1982 – 1989

So, not having a canon birth day for Molly, we can assume that she is between 20 and 21 when Bill is born.

Charlie is born Dec. 12, 1972, attends Hogwarts 1984 – 1991
Percy is born Aug. 22, 1976, attends Hogwarts 1987 – 1994
Fred and George are born Apr. 1, 1978, attend Hogwarts 1989 - 1996
Ron is born March 1, 1980, attends Hogwarts 1991 – 1997 (leaves for Horcrux quest)
Ginny is born August 11, 1981, attends Hogwarts 1992 – 1999

So Ron is 10 years and 9 month younger than Bill and Molly, depending on birth date was 30 to 31 when Ron was born.

You're right, 37 is definitely wrong. I'll find this and fix it.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #22, by jdante5 Shopping With Muggles

24th May 2013:
Sorry, but I just couldn't get past this chapter. Too much DETAIL...not enough substance. I don't like shopping with my wife, why in the world would I want to READ about it in 'detail'. Sorry.

Author's Response: No need to be sorry, it's fiction, people get to choose what they like. I hope you find something you enjoy at HPFF.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #23, by LadySappho Finding the Future

9th May 2013:
About a quarter of the way into this book, I nearly gave it up because I found that too much was "told" and not enough was "done". I'm glad I persevered, though, because that definitely got better. A couple of things continually jarred on me, though. Firstly, the use of "mom" - I assume that the author's American but the characters are not. Most Americanisms I could just gloss over ("fall" for Autumn is another that irritated) but this was particularly bad and intrusive.
Then there were a couple of things about the Australian scenes. The description of the AFP offices included "coffee creamer", bags of ground coffee, and an "electric coffee pot". I'd be astonished if such an office had that today. It certainly wouldn't have in the late '90s. The little cups would have been marked "milk" (if they were there at all) and there'd have been a jar or tin of instant coffee, no ground stuff. Even today, most workplaces don't have real coffee available. Also, we don't have National Service and we don't induct all boys into the Australian army at any age. I'm guessing the author was thinking of Conscription during Vietnam and also of US Selective Service but we had nothing like that in the '90s and still don't today.
On the whole, though, these are just quibbles and the book was good. I was a bit concerned that there was going to be no action so the introduction of the pirates was welcome.

Author's Response: LadySappho,

Yes, there's alot of exposition. I think a professional editor would cut that back and shorten the story. Yes, I am American, and older at that. But, I thought I had all the moms changed to mums except for the last four chapters. I'll change fall to Autumn, and fix the coffee nomenclature. I read about the Vietnam era in Australia and was under the impression that conscription was used, and that part of the story is about that era, I can make that clear and cut back on the modern references.

Thanks for the helpful suggestions.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #24, by Delphinapterus Back to Diagon Alley

16th April 2013:
This chapter better written but the action is getting a little slow.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Thank you. I agree that the balance between the expository chapters and the plot-oriented chapters is a bit skewed. I'd guess that a professional editor would drop some of the early chapters but I enjoyed writing them and they do move Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione's adaptations to their new circumstances forward.

Bill


 Report Review

Review #25, by Delphinapterus Shopping With Muggles

15th April 2013:
Two Bills, one chapter? Could have used a different name.

Author's Response: Delphinapterus,

Yes, agree, but kind of late to change as both appear in later chapters.

Bill


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>